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Met Office 'Amber rain warning' found to be piss

Lots later...

0
virtuallywill 20.12.12 6:22pm
virtuallywill
Proverb Aid announced for the poor and misinformed this Christmas

A new Government initiative to provide the poor and misinformed with 'Proverb aid' is to be launched in time for Christmas. A series of cleverly devised sayings, aimed at assisting the hard or tired...

15
kga6 20.12.12 5:42pm
Al OPecia
End of the World organisers advise "bring wellies and a cagoule"

more soon....

1
Squudge 20.12.12 5:04pm
custard cream
BBC itself may be guilty of abuse

Shocking new allegations have been made that the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) itself may have participated in the abuse of children. The 90-year old public service broadcaster is believed...

2
Darkbill 2.0 20.12.12 2:32pm
Qoxiivi
Bollocks, says everyone, as Mayan apocalypse doesn't happen

There has been widespread disappointment as Britain woke up on 22 December to find that the Doomsday forecast by the Ancient Mayans' 'long count' failed to happen. Instead, they remain stuck in a...

3
Oxbridge 20.12.12 2:04pm
Idiot
Ex-BBC Director General said to be "laughing" at cavalier pay-off. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 20.12.12 1:46pm
Sinnick
'Charity shops may have to open charity shops just to survive' say charities

The Alliance of High Street Charity Shop Executives has issued a report claiming nearly half its members made a loss in 2012 in the face of dwindling sales and rising costs, and found that opening a...

3
The Bogs 20.12.12 1:45pm
riesler
Nazi salute nurse transferred to G4 Security 1
custard cream 20.12.12 1:17pm
Bourbon
Unemployed Liverpool man trials hibernation to save money for new sofa

Long term unemployed Liverpool man, Gavin Smith, says his quest to find the perfect vegetative state could be over after a successful trial hibernation last weekend. Mr Smith, who has his eye on a...

1
Yikes 20.12.12 1:16pm
button
A turkey is for life!

Imagine the surprise experienced by Albert Wilkins upon discovering thirty turkeys in the cupboard beneath his stairs last Tuesday. Albert, a keen hide-and-seek enthusiast, exclaimed “I couldn’t...

0
parttimepirate 20.12.12 1:07pm
parttimepirate
Questions over White House security after President is attacked by Spider child

Spider-Kid, the mischevious web-slinging child of superhero Spiderman, today sparked a national security alert after penetrating the inner reaches of the White House. Skillfully swinging and...

0
Darkbill 2.0 20.12.12 11:55am
Darkbill 2.0
No movement in sculpture dispute 0
custard cream 20.12.12 11:53am
custard cream
News of Poundland's Boxing Day sale causes mayhem in Middlesborough 0
custard cream 20.12.12 11:41am
custard cream
Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall arrested on suspicion of five bird roast. 1
godly1966 20.12.12 11:39am
custard cream
Excitement builds ahead of Julian Assange's inaugural Christmas message

Crowds were said to be two deep outside the Ecuadorean Embassy as news leaked out that Julian Assange was to address the nation 'sometime before Christmas.' Police reported a friendly atmosphere...

0
custard cream 20.12.12 11:38am
custard cream
Frank Bruno asks panto audience, "Have you seen my boxing career?"

"It's behind you" (hat tip to Tripod)...

1
Smart Alex 20.12.12 11:25am
Al OPecia
BBC's 'cavalier' pay-off criticised - "I wanted a Mondeo" says Entwistle 0
Idiot 20.12.12 11:21am
Idiot
Spielberg to follow up Lincoln biopic with Savile, Glitter and King trilogy 0
simonjmr 20.12.12 11:17am
simonjmr
Cromwell Society criticises BBC over cavalier pay offs 0
cinquecento 20.12.12 11:13am
cinquecento
National Rifle Association: Our alternative to tighter gun control

Here at the NRA we take our responsibility seriously. There has been much criticism laid at our door recently for defending the second amendment, which gives Americans the right to bear arms. Some...

15
Perks 20.12.12 10:59am
Bourbon
Assault rifle shoots to No.1 in U.S. Christmas list chart.

A proposed ban on assault rifles has catapulted the weapons to the top of Americans' present lists this festive season. More families than ever across all 50 States are expected to unwrap the guns...

0
Boutros 20.12.12 10:47am
Boutros
Mayans release sacrificial virgin calendar for 2013

After the success of their spoof Armageddon calendar, Mayan Publishing Inc has gone back to its roots by releasing a sacrificial virgin calendar for 2013. Mayan Publishing chief Manuel Zera said...

2
Yikes 20.12.12 10:18am
Squudge
End of the World, Friday..Make sure you are wearing clean underwerar 0
Rowly 20.12.12 9:59am
Rowly
100% of divorces start in marriage

An estimated 100% of divorces in England and Wales started in marriage in 2010 - a figure that has remained static since 2005, the latest statistics suggest. More soon...

0
simonjmr 20.12.12 9:54am
simonjmr
BBC "cavalier" with public funds say MPs. Pot, kettle etc. 0
FlashArry 20.12.12 9:53am
FlashArry
Christmas jobless crisis among Jimmy Saville impersonators. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 20.12.12 9:43am
Al OPecia
Downing Street in new "get out of my way pleb" row. Queen refuses to comment. 0
Al OPecia 20.12.12 9:42am
Al OPecia
Convicted man with speech impediment, can't complete sentence.

Convicted man with speech impediment, can't complete sentence...

0
Location 20.12.12 9:16am
Location
Witness suggests that 'Pleb' was shouted from a grassy knoll area of Downing St 3
charlies_hat 20.12.12 7:54am
Squudge
Chief Whip to attempt Knievel-style jump of Whitehall gate

After yet another abortive attempt by Andrew Mitchell to use the main vehicle gate into Whitehall, the two sides of the Gate Gate conflict have have been outlining their next move. The police have...

2
Squudge 20.12.12 7:33am
Yikes