Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Dogs rally to Produce Sorry You're Leaving card with all their bottom smells

As Molly the Cockerpoo prepared to leave Battersea Dogs Home, she was presented with a surprise leaving card from all her soon-to-be ex-colleagues - a card impregnated with the bottom signature smell...

7
ronseal 28.10.13 9:55am
ronseal
Storm latest: carnage in Kingston as leaves festoon previously swept drive

Residents of Kingston on Thames are emerging from their emergency shelters to scenes of utter carnage this morning. Recycling bins have been blown over, leaves clutter driveways and there are even...

4
ronseal 28.10.13 9:37am
ronseal
Storms always worse under Tories, says Miliband. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 28.10.13 9:24am
dominic_mcg
Threadbare funeral features ex Velvet undeground 0
Smart Alex 28.10.13 9:23am
Smart Alex
Nappy shortage after Welsh baby boom leads to restriction of one Daiper family

..mwy yn fuan...

0
blacklesbianandproudofit 28.10.13 8:32am
blacklesbianandproudofit
Bad Weather in South : Nation in Peril

In other news: nuclear meltdown, plague, dalek invasion - all in North of England and therefore not particularly newsworthy...

5
deceangli 28.10.13 7:57am
Kevin the Swan
South East England storms. Panic buying as Waitrose out of cous-cous & shallots.

Food hoarding in the South of England has led to a run on essentials like olive oil and organic asparagus. Home counties housewives recall stories told by their mothers of the 1987 storm where...

5
MADJEZ 28.10.13 7:39am
Squudge
Lou Reed discovers walk on the wild side not always the way to end a perfect day 1
irreverendJ 28.10.13 7:34am
Wrenfoe
Murdoch to Buy NSA

"They're much more efficient than the drongos we used at the News of the World", Rupert Murdoch told some real journalists. "We couldn't get close to Angela Merkel. Do you think they could tap the...

1
deceangli 28.10.13 7:33am
Wrenfoe
Horror as David Beckham involved in LA car crash.

French claim it should be 'LE car crash'...

0
MADJEZ 28.10.13 12:23am
MADJEZ
Nuclear Power Worker Killed On Holiday By Flying Wind Turbine 1
Titus 27.10.13 11:43pm
Titus
Bollocks

Withdrawn- link broken...

0
Psycadelic Squirrel 27.10.13 11:07pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Ticker removed for legal reasons. 0
Al OPecia 27.10.13 10:52pm
Al OPecia
Met Office issues a Severe "Roofers on the Fiddle" Warning. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 27.10.13 10:40pm
Al OPecia
Darwin awards Judges "on emergency stand-by". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 27.10.13 10:39pm
Al OPecia
Storm fails to generate gales of laughter.

"Damn you Met Office" said one over-prepared comedy writer, " we've just had too much time to think on this one. With the whole of winter still to come let's hope the UK is brought to a standstill...

0
vulture1 27.10.13 10:10pm
vulture1
Why Britain doesn't get hurricanes - Explained

The met office have been encouraged to issue a statement today after an influx of queries related to the definition of hurricanes, and why the UK never seems to admit to one. Media sources have cited...

12
Squudge 27.10.13 9:04pm
The All New Jeni B
Formula for calculating persons BMI revealed as (Pie-Arse-Chaired). 0
MADJEZ 27.10.13 8:17pm
MADJEZ
Storm in a tea cup leaves China devastated 0
irreverendJ 27.10.13 8:00pm
irreverendJ
Met office denies giving Paul McCartney excuse to sing that bloody song again... 2
Nowherefast 27.10.13 7:12pm
Nowherefast
Homeopathy wins ‘comedy catalyst’ award...

Homeopathy has won a prestigious new award, for inspiring a generation of lazy comedians. The ineffectual ‘therapy’ beat off a strong challenge from other easy comedy targets, including Sting,...

5
Tripod 27.10.13 6:59pm
A.A.Arkwright
Met Office issues amber bad hair day warning 0
Ian 27.10.13 6:42pm
Ian
Justin Welby abandons prayers for St Jude's storm as "lost cause"

More later...

0
Coco 27.10.13 5:40pm
Coco
Lou Reed mourned by only man to buy Velvet’s first LP and not start a band... 0
Tripod 27.10.13 5:38pm
Tripod
St Jude's storm reported to be suffering performance anxiety. 2
Squudge 27.10.13 4:39pm
Squudge
CERN scientists inadvertently discover 'unexpectium' - the element of surprise

Probably been done elsewhere but what the hey...

7
Idiot 27.10.13 4:23pm
Maverick
Landslide Victory for Michael Gove in Great British Fuck Off Phone Vote

The British Public have a new champion tonight. Michael scored highly in the signature round where he signed his name with a pleasingly pseudo-Latin sobriquet. Tensions rose in the technical...

3
areileen 27.10.13 2:53pm
areileen
Mastermind Chair's Footstool also arrested on pedophilia charges. More soon.

Thanks to the Swan...

5
Al OPecia 27.10.13 2:34pm
Squudge
Late inventor of doner kebab to receive "unique" cremation in tribute. 1
Andrew Alexander 27.10.13 1:32pm
Ref Minor
Hurricanes 'Not Expected' in Hertford, Hereford, and Hampshire says Prof Higgins 2
deceangli 27.10.13 12:48pm
deceangli