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Go Compare get Steven hawking their insurance

Can't believe what I've just seen. The lower case h is deliberate for the pedants...

9
charlies_hat 20.01.13 2:48pm
Perks
HMV posts biggest losses ‘since records began’ - blame game begins

Incompetent bosses at ailing HMV today angrily blamed their troubles on Tim Berners-Lee for inventing the internet: “Mr Berners-Lee invented the internet and Jonathan Ive invented the iPod –...

5
Reg Herring 20.01.13 1:08pm
dvo4fun
Bank of Canada in bank-note gaff

Bank of Canada officials have defended the use of a ‘stylised’ portrait on the front of their new plastic banknotes insisting the likeness of the subject is clearly accurate enough for the use...

0
Gerontius 20.01.13 10:41am
Gerontius
BBC to trial new shouting at the telly service on the red button

Following in the successful footsteps of children’s programmes such as Dora the Explorer and Team Umizoomi in which children are given the belief that by shouting at the television you can alter...

7
button 20.01.13 10:30am
button
Tesco barcodes found to contain traces of zebra 3
Smart Alex 20.01.13 10:24am
nickb
Successful Launch of New "Retail Chain Failure" Blame Game

"Too late now" say administrators of Game...

0
Titus 20.01.13 10:23am
Titus
Failed Bulgarian assassin earns £250 from You've Been Framed 0
Lucy4 20.01.13 10:00am
Lucy4
Enid Smyth appointed writer in residence for 13, Limes Avenue, Norbiton, KT2 4LS

“It is an honour and an unexpected privilege to be nominated for this prestigious post” said Enid Smyth, recently named writer in residence for 13, Limes Avenue, Norbiton. Although there have...

3
nickb 20.01.13 9:40am
Yikes
Algerian Hostages Resent Being Ignored by NB

"We can cope with being terrified and having our lives threatened" said one terrified hostage who had had his life threatened, "But we resent the humiliation of being totally ignored by satirical...

0
Titus 20.01.13 1:00am
Titus
Britain and US furious with Algeria for not letting them help kill terrorists. 1
dominic_mcg 20.01.13 12:55am
Titus
Tesco 'Finest' burgers found to contain 29% unicorn meat.

The Tesco horsemeat in burgers story is comedy gold. I can't believe you've all moved on! We can keep this going for weeks...

5
deskpilot3 19.01.13 11:16pm
deskpilot3
Lance Armstrong found to contain 29% horse DNA

See what I did there? I've cleverly combined two popular stories into one incoherent headline...

2
Spartacus 19.01.13 11:15pm
deskpilot3
Outraged Campaigners Demand GM-Free Horsemeat in their Burgers

(Do I win a prize for the 100th Tesco-horse-burger post please?) Outraged campaigners are furious that no-one has checked whether or not the horse meat found in TESCO's burgers is GM-free horse meat...

2
Titus 19.01.13 11:11pm
deskpilot3
withdrawn 0
Squudge 19.01.13 10:33pm
Squudge
Armstrong cleared to compete in Tour de France as long as he rides a fixie 1
custard cream 19.01.13 9:44pm
MADJEZ
Met Office warns: smugness to continue for two more weeks

The Met Office today warned that an outbreak of smugness will cover the country for two more weeks. "We expect a higher number of 4x4s at peak hours -with the drivers willing to offer the children...

1
steve_l 19.01.13 8:15pm
Squudge
Stansted's new owners shocked to find "runway is extra"

The consortium who recently purchased Stansted airport have expressed their anger that the airport's biggest airline, Ryanair, are charging extra for the runway. "You'd have thought a runway was a...

0
apepper 19.01.13 6:39pm
apepper
"I have no use for money" says multi billionaire Bill Gates 0
Ian 19.01.13 5:53pm
Ian
According to the latest hot video-game trailer, he's 'at it' again...

http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz223/pinxit2/Satire/SR_hunt_zps07993639.jpg...

1
pinxit 19.01.13 4:40pm
pinxit
Blockbuster opens 50 new stores to "hit closing targets"

Troubled retailer Blockbuster have opened 50 new stores. "We plan to close 200 outlets over the next six months, but we realised we only have 150 shops, so it makes sense to quickly open 50 new ones...

0
apepper 19.01.13 2:50pm
apepper
Abandoned bear found at Paddington Station wearing hat and coat. Kills ten. 1
19.01.13 2:47pm
beau-jolly
'Where's Wally?: High Street Edition' easiest yet say disgruntled readers

http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz223/pinxit2/wheres_zpse6df24c7.jpg...

6
pinxit 19.01.13 2:35pm
beau-jolly
Angela Merkel ‘a chip off the old block’ says biographer

In a new biography to be released later this year, esteemed author Otto Von Shermann has revealed that German Chancellor, Angela Merkel was in fact quite literally chipped out of the Berlin Wall. ...

3
Dick Everyman 19.01.13 2:18pm
Dick Everyman
Now That They've Heard About It, The Taliban ...

claim responsibilty for the London helicopter crash...

0
Titus 19.01.13 2:06pm
Titus
Married man in pube trimming dilemma

After 8 years of marriage Steve Leverson faces one of the biggest dilemmas in his relationship over the future of his pubic hair. Since joining his mates in the local five-a-side team he has come...

4
Dick Everyman 19.01.13 1:47pm
Dick Everyman
Penguin admits cycling to win 100km ‘march’

A penguin who holds the record for being the fastest flightless bird to complete his arduous winter march between the ocean and ancestral breeding grounds has admitted to using a...

12
DustyBinLaden 19.01.13 12:38pm
Perks
Lance Armstrong banned from all forms of physical exercise. That'll teach him... 1
AReader 19.01.13 12:28pm
Tripod
Lance Armstrong launches the Big Stoned Bike Ride...

Admitting that cycling is irredeemably fucked as a genuine sport, Lance Armstrong has announced that the inaugural Big Stoned Bike Ride will take place in Amsterdam in 2014. “It will be an...

1
Tripod 19.01.13 12:19pm
Lucy4
Wife of "The Name of the Rose" author admits to being Eco-friendly 3
Smart Alex 19.01.13 12:17pm
Lucy4
Armstrong questions punishment: 'Surely I should be in jail?' 0
One Line Only 19.01.13 11:03am
One Line Only