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Nick Clegg has pulled out of the remainder of the 2012-15 political season

Reigning Lib Dem leader and Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has pulled out of the remainder of the 2012-15 political season because of "personal issues", and his manager has warned he may not return...

0
simonjmr 06.11.12 4:52pm
simonjmr
Groupie sues the 1970s for pop stars’ sexual indifference...

Karen Smith is suing the 1970s for damage to her self-esteem, due to the sexual indifference of the pop stars of the day, many of them household names. Now 57, she remembers the seventies like they...

2
Tripod 06.11.12 4:12pm
Squudge
Constituents have whip-round to buy Nadine Dorries one-way ticket to the jungle. 0
Tripod 06.11.12 4:05pm
Tripod
“Teletubbies the Movie” in fight to remove 18 certificate.

It’s disaster for the long-anticipated Teletubbies screen epic following the awarding of an 18 certificate effectively meaning only those aged 15 to 17 are likely to see it. The movie is loosely...

4
Boutros 06.11.12 2:39pm
Boutros
"Beckham a bit thick” voted worst-kept secret of 2012... 0
Tripod 06.11.12 2:36pm
Tripod
Hospital operations abandoned after rat fails enhanced CRB check 0
Duncan Biscuit 06.11.12 2:31pm
Duncan Biscuit
BBC went digital in '70s claims Fingerbobs 0
medici2471 06.11.12 2:29pm
medici2471
Media switch to blanket coverage of Slovenian Presidential election ...

on November 11th. Make a note in your diaries folks...

0
Kramaring 06.11.12 2:20pm
Kramaring
US Election latest: Dead heat now “almost a certainty”

At first it was too close to call. Now, as 140 million Americans start casting their votes, pollsters have finally agreed that a dead heat is by far the likeliest outcome. “This scenario in...

4
nickb 06.11.12 2:03pm
nickb
India and Pakistan on brink of new conflict over rights to wear cashmere

Fears of renewed tensions between India and Pakistan were sparked today, as diplomatic talks over the rights to wear cashmere broke down once again. The luxury goat’s wool, prized for its...

0
D_Woolley 06.11.12 12:55pm
D_Woolley
Wife forgives husband’s ‘Porno’ past

A man known as ‘Porno’ by his football mates had some explaining to do after his wife found out about his nickname, three years into their marriage. Fearing further revelations about his sordid...

2
Midfield Diamond 06.11.12 11:48am
Midfield Diamond
Waterhouse accused of 'not going far enough' with abuse probe

More soon, no doubt...

1
Gerontius 06.11.12 11:19am
Dick Everyman
Dyslexic Dairy farmer cuts phone lines to prevent spread of BT

(just a one liner)...

1
Rowly 06.11.12 10:51am
charlies_hat
Choice of three moustaches to be issued to celebrities to maintain anonymity

In the wake of recent sex scandals celebrities will be issued with a choice of three moustaches that can be deployed to maintain their anonymity and privacy. The three "taches" offered are The...

0
simonjmr 06.11.12 10:47am
simonjmr
Badgers to be introduced to eat roots of diseased Ash trees

Foresters have Set up a re-introduction programme...

0
Rowly 06.11.12 10:26am
Rowly
Britain’s oldest man still waiting for BT Infinity

Britain’s oldest man is celebrating his 110th birthday, whilst continuing to wait for BT to sort out his wireless broadband service. Reg Nixon, from Cromley in Derbyshire, first got a leaflet...

9
Darkbill 2.0 06.11.12 10:13am
DustyBinLaden
'Must ash trees be destroyed to prevent the spread of disease?' asks MP 3
Scroat 06.11.12 9:52am
Gerontius
US baby kissing ring exposed

America is in shock today as a major baby kissing ring involving prominent politicians was exposed on CBS documentary Newsnight. The scandal reaches across both party and racial lines, with...

11
Yikes 06.11.12 9:43am
herculepoisson
Torvill and Dean expose Nottingham paedophile rink 0
Dick Everyman 06.11.12 9:08am
Dick Everyman
Romney Votes Obama "For The Hell Of It"

Apparently tired of being characterised as a stuffed shirt with no spontaneity or sense of humour, presidential challenger Willard "Mitt" Romney has declared that he voted for incumbent opponent...

1
Textbook 06.11.12 8:35am
Squudge
Investigation into drug abuse by seabirds leaves no tern unstoned 2
Smart Alex 06.11.12 5:35am
Yikes
Most addicts still ignore dangers of underdosing warn British homeopaths 0
Username 06.11.12 5:13am
Username
Care pathway a stairway to heaven, official...

Ooh, it makes me wander...

1
Dick Everyman 06.11.12 12:32am
Squudge
Dyslexic carp fisherman says “I’m no failure” 2
Dick Everyman 05.11.12 11:42pm
Squudge
‘Now you can piss in a bottle at home’ says promoter of cheaper gig tickets

Concert promoter AEG is to offer more affordable tickets for stadium concerts that will include watching the concert while blindfolded at home, with wax pressed into each ear. ‘Stadium ticket...

12
DustyBinLaden 05.11.12 11:41pm
Squudge
US Election Day 2016 only 2,107,555 minutes away

more nearer the time!...

1
custard cream 05.11.12 11:10pm
Squudge
Merseyside council blamed for spread of Knotty Ash 0
Dick Everyman 05.11.12 10:58pm
Dick Everyman
Moustaches most popular on Pacific Rim say anthropologists 6
Dick Everyman 05.11.12 10:45pm
Dick Everyman
Nobel prize guaranteed for anyone who can solve "Internet buffering" 0
Dumbnews 05.11.12 10:32pm
Dumbnews
Obama asks nation for 'four more years of not being shot by white supremacists' 0
Mandy Lifeboat 05.11.12 9:10pm
Mandy Lifeboat