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Terrorist threat level downgraded to 'comical' 0
be reasonable 3 years

after Al-quaeda promise to 'pull your hair and steal your sweets, infidel'...

Lidl's 'Tolerate The Difference' range woos thrifty middle-class 5
3 years

As middle-class mums look for ways to stretch the family budget, Lidl is hoping to tempt them with the launch of a new 'premium' brand. Boasting up to 25% less sawdust in their cereals and cosmetics,...

Confound Chinese hackers by starting your Gmail password with an R, says Google 5
ronseal 3 years

A security expert for Google has offered a temporary fix to the problem of Chinese Gmail hacking. 'There's no R on a chinese keyboard,' he said. 'And if there is, it's where the L should be.' ...

E. Coli Discovers New Strain of Scientist 0
mugwump 3 years
Students set impossible question: At what time does a lie in become bedtime? 2
charlies_hat 3 years
Chas & Dave's music branded as 'Poison" by U.S. Youth Leader. 0
locker 3 years

The music of Chas & Dave has come in for fierce criticism with a lack of contemporary role models being cited as the main reason for the recent explosion in 'Cockney Culture' amongst American...

Panini launch new superinjunction range of cards and stickers 4
Ludicity 3 years

The Panini Superinjunction Collection features the silhouettes of anonymous Premier League footballers that kids can buy, collect and swap in the playground, although for legal reasons they are not...

Middleton's left homeless after childhood home to be auctioned off by Kate 0
Basil_B 3 years

The childhood home of the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton is to be sold at auction later today despite the fact that her Mother and Father still live there., 'We had to strike while the iron was...

Rocket Science “isn’t brain surgery,” says Confucius. 5
SingingHinny 3 years

A bitter feud has erupted between disciples of both brain surgery and rocket science as both sides vie for the right to be acclaimed ‘much harder to do than almost everything else.’ The...

Due to a high amount of traffic, we're experiencing technical difficulties. 0
simonjmr 3 years

Normal service will resume soon!...

Cameron announces cull of anyone below 6ft to achieve big society 0
Basil_B 3 years
Lizard trained to balance on hind legs becomes world's first stand-up chameleon 1
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Racist organisation advertises for a Uniformity officer 9
ronseal 3 years

Racism could become a victim of its own success, warned one of the key note speakers, at this years annual conference of mutual suspicion, who predicted that prejudice could become such a broad...

New vegetable crisis as broc-coli breaks out in school canteens... 0
be reasonable 3 years

"If I want iron in my diet I'll eat a nail", said 7-year old...

Quality of 'Independent' news coverage 'variable', report scientists. 0
be reasonable 3 years

More soon? It depends...

New strains of E coli alarm scientists 0
FraserWords 3 years

WORRIED scientists today warned that new mutations of the E coli virus are evolving in the wake of the latest outbreak of disease., Experts at the Institute of Communicable Diseases have already...

FA appoint Max Clifford as Chairman 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

PR guru Max Clifford has accepted the position of Chairman of the English Football Association with immediate effect. A brief statement released by the FA announced the appointment and stated that...

Mladic to be given illustrations to help him recognise war crimes tribunal 0
Steve Wilson 3 years
Serbia and Pakistan through to final of 'International Hide and Seek' 0
Mr Payne 3 years

More soon. If you can find me...

BetFred Goodwin buys Tote for £120bn 0
3 years
Greens blame lack of cats for Black Death 0
Griffin 3 years
Drug committee wants all drugs legalised after massive drugs binge 21
Qoxiivi 3 years

An influential group of leading political and cultural thinkers, including Richard Branson and Kofi Annan, has called for the worldwide legalisation of all drugs after an "epic mash-up" at the Virgin...

Ronald Reagan 'too left wing for modern Republicans'... 0
be reasonable 3 years

"Christ on a bike" says everyone else...

Jewish entrepreneur launches Jewpon 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Two short planks complain about constant comparison to Premiership footballers. 0
be reasonable 3 years
Homeopathic cure for scepticism developed 30 years ago remains untested. 0
be reasonable 3 years
Fewer Parents Calling Their Newborn Son, 'Dave' 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

"He'll only get called 'twat' in the playground," said one couple...

Aggressive German E.coli a novel bacterial "Master Race". More Soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Queen to acknowledge financial austerity by celebrating diamonique jubilee 0
evilsuperstar 3 years

Buckingham Palace has today announced that the Queen will alter her 60th anniversary celebrations in 2012 to recognise the fragile state of the economy. Following in the footsteps of the Duke and...

Latest On Foreign Secretary Hague's "Lone Tory Medal"....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..Presented to him by the leader of Wath-on-Dearne Council, South Yorkshire., Hague occasionally polishes it...