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MP Begbie in Leveson furore 0
Drylaw 3 years

Lex Begbie, Labour MP for Dumbarton West and holder of the largest current parliamentary majority (65,000), took the oath and took the stand in front of the Leveson Inquiry today. Mr Begbie sipped a...

Dogs Officially Better Than Humans Says Public 0
Hooch 3 years

Pudsey and your woman’s win in Saturday Night’s Britain’s Got Talent Live Final is proof than dogs are better than humans, was the verdict of animal lovers everywhere., Peta member Sharon...

Michael Fish new heir to the throne 1
apepper 3 years

In a bizarre twist, Mr Charles Windsor (the weather forecaster formally known as Prince) has exchanged jobs with Michael Fish (now to be known as Prince Michael of Hurricane or, less formally, the...

Government scraps fighter plane order - buys exploding underpants instead. 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Critics pan new Greek drachma for poor direction and lack of leading man 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Too many actors employed as Singing In The Rain remake is "overcast" 0
seymour totti 3 years
Lapdancer stripped of pole position 0
Gary Stanton 3 years

Yeah, I do one-liners as well...

Jeremy Hunt "has to resign three times" 1
apepper 3 years

Culture secretary has thrown government lawyers into chaos. A number 10 source said, "Technically, he should resign at least three times, maybe four. It's difficult to see how that's going to...

Spitfire celebrates 75th anniversary with return to front-line action over Libya 14
Ironduke 3 years

After claiming recent defence budget cuts 'in no way reduced our capability', Prime Minister David Cameron proudly announced the return of the Spitfire to frontline service., 'Of course we've...

Stable boy charged with grooming. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Second coming of Christ postponed as he is voted out in semifinal. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Big Ben bongs 'a hit' in House of Commons gift shop. 0
nickb 3 years

After heavy promotion by radio and TV news programmes, Big Ben bongs have finally outsold Palace of Westminster teapots in the gift shop of the House of Commons. Annie’s Bar Punch came a close...

Streatham man's Vauxhall Corsa to be deployed in Olympic terror fight 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

Streatham resident, Steve Gresham (23) is both ‘well happy’ and ‘gutted’ that the MoD will be deploying his ’51 plated Vauxhall Corsa Sport as a sonic weapon during the Olympics. Speaking...

Leveson Latest: Bucket of Driven Snow takes the stand 0
Drylaw 3 years
Stevie Wonder extortion latest; identity parade chaos 0
apepper 3 years

More follows...

Kazakhstan release Sacha Baron Cohen movie – “Talentless Jewish Bast**d” 0
Yikes 3 years

An unlikely consortium of the Kazakhstan government, wealthy gay businessman, the estate of Muammar Gaddafi, and the frat boys from the motorhome in Borat, have banded together to produce a satirical...

Scottish Carp shop claims to sell "The Real McKoi" 6
seymour totti 3 years

Reach for coat and hopes to slip out quietly...

Government hails success of new scheme to get Prince Charles into work 7
Qoxiivi 3 years

An experimental new scheme to try and get some Prince Charles into useful employment has got off to an excellent start, claims David Cameron, after he successfully completed his first day's placement...

PCS union claims that 9 billion public sector workers took part in walkout 2
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

The government have dismissed a claim from the PCS union that almost 9 billion public sector workers took part in Thursday’s walkout, insisting that the real number was closer to ‘minus two...

Spitfires for carriers, promises Hammond 13
Boutros 3 years

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has ordered six squadrons of Spitfires to equip Britain's new carriers in a move that's already been criticised as pandering to the over-50 male voter. But Hammond...

Leveson Inquiry delayed to allow time to appoint Parseltongue translator 6
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Rebekah Brooks's appearance before the Leveson Inquiry has been delayed to allow the inquiry team to recruit an official Parseltongue translator. The surprise move was announced by a frustrated Lord...

Breaking news - Duchess of Cambridge wears frock, has dinner. 0
Maverick 3 years
Proctologist's Association to launch social networking site - "Arsebook". 0
Maverick 3 years
Government suggests we 'LOL' or rather Laugh Over Leveson 0
Underconstruction 3 years
Rebekah's hairdresser always signed his texts to her with 'LOL' 1
bonjonelson 3 years
Maude Sold Shares In Jerrycan Manufacturers . . . Yesterday 0
Terrance Clench 3 years

More in 30 years time . . . via the National Archives...

Robert Peston chosen to be the voice of Olympic Sonic Weapon 0
Boutros 3 years
Army Bagpipe Corp on standby to deploy "sonic weapon" at Olympics 0
grumblechops 3 years
Recovered World War II mine now fit for purpose 0
Underconstruction 3 years

Britain's naval defence capability has been significantly enhanced after the recovery and restoration of a German Mine found buried in mud-flats off of Shoeburyness in Essex., Second Sealord Admiral...

John Kettley and Micheal Fish to give this year's Queen's speech 3
simonjmr 3 years