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Tory cuts hit London Olympics..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

starting gun - a blown up crisp packet...

Emergency aid shipment of sky blue shirts despatched to Surrey 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years
Malcolm X (Wise Head) Statue 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

to be unveiled soon...

Simon Cowell lures Pudsey away with dog biscuit and bottom sniffing deal 0
Yikes 3 years

The cut-throat nature of show business was once again shown as Britain’s Got Talent boss Simon Cowell signed Pudsey the performing dog but not Pudsey’s fellow winner 17 year old Ashleigh Butler....

Brain Blessed to understudy for Ian Paisley as Olympics' sonic weapon 0
dvo4fun 3 years


Mugging targets urged to carry more cash to avoid “social death” 3
Yikes 3 years

It’s a nightmare scenario – to be violently robbed and murdered and then have the tabloids scream: “Socialite killed for 85p and a TV Guide.” Image consultant Jane Smith says such luridly...

Surrey residents gutted their team came second in the Premiership. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Lord Archer re-enters public life as Daily Mail fact checker 0
apepper 3 years

More follows...

Bookmakers install Manchester City as favourites for 2056 Premier League title 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Bangla Desh government announces new austerity measures. 0
Maverick 3 years
Greek President looking for a donor. 0
Maverick 3 years
Metropolitan Police to outsource training to Taliban. 0
Maverick 3 years
MP Begbie in Leveson furore 0
Drylaw 3 years

Lex Begbie, Labour MP for Dumbarton West and holder of the largest current parliamentary majority (65,000), took the oath and took the stand in front of the Leveson Inquiry today. Mr Begbie sipped a...

Dogs Officially Better Than Humans Says Public 0
Hooch 3 years

Pudsey and your woman’s win in Saturday Night’s Britain’s Got Talent Live Final is proof than dogs are better than humans, was the verdict of animal lovers everywhere., Peta member Sharon...

Michael Fish new heir to the throne 1
apepper 3 years

In a bizarre twist, Mr Charles Windsor (the weather forecaster formally known as Prince) has exchanged jobs with Michael Fish (now to be known as Prince Michael of Hurricane or, less formally, the...

Government scraps fighter plane order - buys exploding underpants instead. 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Critics pan new Greek drachma for poor direction and lack of leading man 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Too many actors employed as Singing In The Rain remake is "overcast" 0
seymour totti 3 years
Lapdancer stripped of pole position 0
Gary Stanton 3 years

Yeah, I do one-liners as well...

Jeremy Hunt "has to resign three times" 1
apepper 3 years

Culture secretary has thrown government lawyers into chaos. A number 10 source said, "Technically, he should resign at least three times, maybe four. It's difficult to see how that's going to...

Spitfire celebrates 75th anniversary with return to front-line action over Libya 14
Ironduke 3 years

After claiming recent defence budget cuts 'in no way reduced our capability', Prime Minister David Cameron proudly announced the return of the Spitfire to frontline service., 'Of course we've...

Stable boy charged with grooming. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Second coming of Christ postponed as he is voted out in semifinal. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Big Ben bongs 'a hit' in House of Commons gift shop. 0
nickb 3 years

After heavy promotion by radio and TV news programmes, Big Ben bongs have finally outsold Palace of Westminster teapots in the gift shop of the House of Commons. Annie’s Bar Punch came a close...

Streatham man's Vauxhall Corsa to be deployed in Olympic terror fight 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

Streatham resident, Steve Gresham (23) is both ‘well happy’ and ‘gutted’ that the MoD will be deploying his ’51 plated Vauxhall Corsa Sport as a sonic weapon during the Olympics. Speaking...

Leveson Latest: Bucket of Driven Snow takes the stand 0
Drylaw 3 years
Stevie Wonder extortion latest; identity parade chaos 0
apepper 3 years

More follows...

Kazakhstan release Sacha Baron Cohen movie – “Talentless Jewish Bast**d” 0
Yikes 3 years

An unlikely consortium of the Kazakhstan government, wealthy gay businessman, the estate of Muammar Gaddafi, and the frat boys from the motorhome in Borat, have banded together to produce a satirical...

Scottish Carp shop claims to sell "The Real McKoi" 6
seymour totti 3 years

Reach for coat and hopes to slip out quietly...

Government hails success of new scheme to get Prince Charles into work 7
Qoxiivi 3 years

An experimental new scheme to try and get some Prince Charles into useful employment has got off to an excellent start, claims David Cameron, after he successfully completed his first day's placement...