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The Beatles ‘didn’t come from Liverpool, but the east end of London’ 0
farmer giles 14.06.14 5:41pm
farmer giles
Met police 'will buy electric chair if Boris will test it for us'. More soon. 0
deskpilot3 14.06.14 5:04pm
UK to protect Bagdad with "wall of cash" 0
Bigglesworth 14.06.14 3:22pm
Lord Nelson: England's expectations unrealistic.

More signals soon...

MADJEZ 14.06.14 3:18pm
Farage promises Justin Bieber a peerage if made PM 0
sydalg 14.06.14 1:14pm
Hospital for wacky medicine launched in Liverpool

A disused warehouse in Liverpool has been converted to an alternative hospital by Non-sense, a charitable trust set up by Dr. Kate “Krazy” Peters PhD., The hospital is the world’s first...

beau-jolly 14.06.14 11:47am
All foreign part-time charity workers to receive honoray Damehoods.

oh no just the one...

MADJEZ 14.06.14 11:40am
Iran & Iraq unite to form Iranopq 0
farmer giles 14.06.14 10:37am
farmer giles
Yorkshire Ripper transferred to Ford Open Prison

The notorious mass murderer said he was looking forward to following in the footsteps of recent escapee ‘The Skullcracker’ and planned to celebrate by getting ‘hammered’. Justice Minister...

farmer giles 14.06.14 8:38am
Dutch fans celebrate with painted 'grass' 0
Underconstruction 14.06.14 8:08am
Cameron slams internet porn (again)

In yet another desperate bid for popularity, David Cameron was moaning yesterday about the, deplorable state of internet porn. He said;[quote]I don't have to tell anyone of the downright shoddy...

flash1189 14.06.14 8:06am
Dulux launch 'five minute feature wall' paint

In a bid to bring harmony to households blighted by the everlasting tin of Magnolia emulsion, Dulux have launched its first range of 5 minute feature wall paints, designed to bring temporary colour...

Underconstruction 14.06.14 7:59am
England squad tipped for great rendition of God Save the Queen

England manager and singing coach Roy Hodgson has told a press conference that his side 'can't wait' to get out onto the pitch and 'sing their little hearts out' before their opening World Cup match...

ianslat 14.06.14 5:30am
Clock counts down for tiki toka football. 0
Ref Minor 13.06.14 11:39pm
Ref Minor
Tony Blair glad he lives in a country with weapons of mass destruction

Tony Blair says people should be glad that are lucky enough to live in a country with WMD. He said he could confirm as a former prime minister that Britain definitely stockpiled such weapons. 'When...

roybland 13.06.14 8:40pm
Ref Minor
Daughter wants it understood that her Father's Day card doesn't imply penis envy

Samantha Lusted (6) says that although she'll be giving her dad a Father's Day card on Sunday, it does not in anyway imply penis envy on her part. 'My dad's a nice guy,' Samantha said,'but no way...

roybland 13.06.14 8:36pm
Homeless rejoice as metal thieves remove London spikes 0
sydalg 13.06.14 8:13pm
London's spikes are free beds of nails for Indian fakirs, says Boris. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 13.06.14 7:54pm
Travelodge turned down offer to become Open Prisons

Travelodge have admitted that they were considering using their budget hotels as a open prisons. They wrongly thought no security modifications were needed as prisoners are clearly free to come and...

tonyhill 13.06.14 7:01pm
John Darwin sues FIFA for infringement of vanishing spray patent 0
beckfordburger 13.06.14 6:23pm
Sun breaks tradition by showing just one tit. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 13.06.14 6:13pm
Calls for inquiry as Miliband steps down, goes straight into Sun paper round 0
sydalg 13.06.14 5:22pm
Government to place studs under windows of open prisons 1
sydalg 13.06.14 3:53pm
Al OPecia
Plans for public sex parks dogged by controversy 0
sydalg 13.06.14 3:15pm
Iraqi Free School descends into chaos

The Iraqi Free School was plunged into chaos only months after receiving a "Good" inspection report from Ofsted. Dozens of teachers belonging to the ISIS union have unilaterally declared the...

tomholder 13.06.14 3:13pm
Cameron, Clegg, Milliband pose naked for Sun newspaper

Top British politicians have rejected claims of being “Murdoch’s Poodles” after they were pictured naked, frolicking in a wildflower meadow , each holding up a copy of the Sun newspaper. “I...

deceangli 13.06.14 3:10pm
Cameron to fly England flag over Downing Street for 11 more days

and no more...

Rootin Tootin 13.06.14 3:07pm
Rootin Tootin
BBC World Cup Coverage Much Better With Sound Turned Off

People always talking like they having an orgasm with stupid music in the background along with tedious 5 minute intros works much better with the sound turned off...

Dun Dunkin 13.06.14 3:03pm
Dun Dunkin
Solo Says Force Doesn't Exist

prefers to watch football...

Dun Dunkin 13.06.14 2:59pm
Dun Dunkin
World cup protestors take break to enjoy what they are protesting 0
Dumbnews 13.06.14 1:51pm