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Butterfly killed by Nectar point, rules coroner

A "loose" Nectar point worth 0.000023p caused the death of a Red Admiral Butterfly near Uxbridge, a coroner has ruled. How the butterfly ingested the tiny Nectar point is not known, and staff at a...

nickb 30.10.13 5:04pm
Rampant rabbit turns out to be fucking cunt 0
farmer giles 30.10.13 4:53pm
farmer giles
Barman asks Cthulhu of Mythos, "why the long face?" 1
Smart Alex 30.10.13 4:29pm
Defra Deny Involvement In Cull Of Cthulhu 0
Flugelbinder 30.10.13 4:19pm
Man with intention of living forever says he is on course to succeed 0
John Wiltshire 30.10.13 4:10pm
John Wiltshire
Energy companies advise home-owning OAPs to ‘hibernate in chest freezers’

In a move to improve their PR image and public trust rating, the big 6 UK energy companies today announced plans to blitz print, tv, radio and internet media with controversial energy and...

farmer giles 30.10.13 4:01pm
farmer giles
Latest NSA revelation: 'Luxembourg is not a cake, after all, it's a country”...

In the face of complaints from every country on the planet, James Clapper, Director of the National Security Agency, was bullish about his organisation’s activities. “Thanks to the sterling...

Tripod 30.10.13 3:34pm
Church of England Outsourced to China

“It’s a no-brainer, really”, said the Archbishop of Canterbury. “We wanted to make the Church more relevant to the modern world, and we needed to save money. This ticks all the boxes....

deceangli 30.10.13 2:34pm
Sugar reduction in jam solves Palestinian question

Today, the Israeli Supreme Court confirmed that 26 inmates of Ofer prison would be released as an important part in the process of 'fruit preserve disarmament'. News that British jams would lower...

Wrenfoe 30.10.13 2:30pm
Dick Everyman
Hewlett Packard creates package for horror writers all at sea: the HP Liferaft 0
Smart Alex 30.10.13 2:30pm
Smart Alex
Food Standards Agency "concerned" as Findus buys majority stake in Dignitas 0
sydalg 30.10.13 2:27pm
Swindon To Become World Heritage Site

Extract from award citation :, "The Taj Mahal. The Great Wall of China. Stonehenge. As individual constructions, these are impressive, but Swindon has a holistic quality which transcends any...

deceangli 30.10.13 1:39pm
Facebook users 'running low' on inspirational quotes to share

Thousands of Facebook users have found themselves running 'seriously low' on fresh inspirational quotes to share with their friends of late, the social network giant has announced today. Quotations...

Jesus H 30.10.13 1:15pm
Paddy Berzinski
Baby on Board parents receive World Humanitarian Award

A Halifax couple who have displayed a Baby on Board sticker in their car for the past five years have been awarded a prestigious World Humanitarian Award for their ‘remarkable contribution to...

Dick Everyman 30.10.13 1:02pm
Paddy Berzinski
Pantene launches new range of ‘Roma’ hair dyes... 2
Tripod 30.10.13 12:32pm
'Eastenders' Runs Out Of Hitherto Unknown Relatives

Desperate 'Eastenders' writers have given up the introduction of previously unmentioned relatives of existing characters in an interview attempt to reverse plummeting viewing figures. Instead they...

paulo 30.10.13 11:07am
HS2 downgraded to HS1.7. More soon. 4
Al OPecia 30.10.13 10:00am
Pension cap idea just sounds flat to me..e bah gum! 0
irreverendJ 30.10.13 9:19am
Concordia : "Going Down" Has Different Meaning in Moldovan 0
deceangli 30.10.13 7:25am
Concordia: Captain Regrets Doing 'Wheelie' To Impress Girlfriend 0
deceangli 30.10.13 7:25am
New Windows wizard troubleshoots why the wizards never work 0
Dumbnews 30.10.13 5:07am
Halloween party ruined as IT geeks misunderstand HP Lovecraft theme

Neat-o, Well someone had to...

Not Amused 30.10.13 12:16am
Not Amused
Scotland 3rd best tourist spot - after staying at home(2) and everywhere else(1) 0
bonjonelson 29.10.13 10:43pm
Steel Company Says 'Tata' To 500 Workers 2
Flugelbinder 29.10.13 8:26pm
New “Murder Bacon” to combine best of Danish

“It’s a marriage made in heaven, but it’s got Danish written all the way through it,” said Lars Smytt, brand manager for Denmark’s latest marketing success, which from tomorrow will ...

nickb 29.10.13 8:16pm
Cyprus man "not missing George Michael, either". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 29.10.13 7:40pm
Al OPecia
"Bad taste" in Ed Balls's mouth actually due to talking crap too often 0
cinnahmon 29.10.13 7:29pm
Isle of Wight homes still without power. Storm not to blame. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 29.10.13 7:07pm
Kingdom of the mole people seeks fracking injunction 2
nyarlathotep 29.10.13 7:07pm
Satan denies any involvement with the Conservative party, threatens libel action 0
nyarlathotep 29.10.13 6:50pm