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Store Manager in Liverpool 'leaves his post' following poor run of results 2
Perks 3 years

The Manager of the Liverpool branch of Maplins, Danny McKleesh, has shocked the retail world by ‘leaving his post’, which he has held for just over a year. His decision comes after a run of...

London pubs to set minimum price for alcohol of £5 per unit 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Slimming World seek venues with larger car parks 1
medici2471 3 years

more soon please...

Fenn Street School's Norman Potter to head proposed Greek caretaker government, 2
Zen 3 years
daneade 3 years

Penny-pinching booze-loving Scots have been backed into a corner by new price rises on alcohol., Faced with price rises on the full spectrum of Scottish jolly water, tight-fisted booze-sozzled Jocks...

Bisto kid in hitler youth scandal - 'I was only following odours' 3
Haywood Manley 3 years
Kenny Dalglish sacked for thinking Andy Carroll is a great player 0
Hooch 3 years
"Kenny Dalglish ensures me Andy Carroll is a great player" - Roy Hodgson 0
Hooch 3 years
Plans to move children's programming leaves "next to nothing" in BBC1 schedule 0
Haywood Manley 3 years

Following reports that programmes made specifically to cater for the attention spans of those under ten will be moved permanently to the CBBC and CBeebies channels, concerns have been raised that...

Writer struggles to describe incident where chicken ran round with head cut off 7
Yikes 3 years

The much awaited release of the new Emmerdale Farm novel has been delayed a further 3 months as author Lance Parkin searches for a way to describe a poultry decapitation incident in the climatic...

Lord Leveson promoted to Witch finder General 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
Rebekah Brooks faces trial by ducking stool 6
3 years

Amidst claims that her arrest is part of a witch hunt, it has been revealed that Rebekah Brooks will face trial by ducking stool. With drowning indicating innocence and floating being a sure sign of...

Phone hacking reveals Rebekah Brooks has a holiday home in Salem 3
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
The Truth Hurts: No Briton has as much talent as a dancing dog. 0
RickH 3 years

Pudsey to be offered Simon Cowell's job; and, as a treat, Simon Cowell, in gravy...

Atheists pull ad campaign after spate of members killed in bus accidents 0
Yikes 3 years

The worldwide trend for atheists to advertise on buses looks set to cease after a study found that 95% of people killed in bus accidents didn’t believe in God. Professor Paul Saunders of Boston...

FA to give Joey Barton a slap on wrist, kick up the arse & punch in the face 2
charlies_hat 3 years
Rebekah Brooks charged with conspiracy to conceal evidence 7
Haywood Manley 3 years

The former editor of The Sun and the News of the World was today charged by the Crown Prosecution Service with concealing facts and evidence from the readerships of the two newspapers she edited....

Female filmmakers still struggling with Cannes opener 3
Nerys Hughes 3 years
CEO of Ecover to appear at The Hague on a charge of ethic cleansing 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Peer says "ditch outdated imperial units for Olympics" 0
Thor 3 years

with no apparent irony. More soon, M’lud...

Schoolboy reveals difference between the Leveson Enquiry & the Culture Secretary 0
cinquecento 3 years

One is a witch hunt, the other is a rich .. ////yes I know it's a dreaded two-liner, but can't work out how to fit it in a ticker limit//...

Phone hacking scandal continues - red tops paying the price 0
Haywood Manley 3 years
It's not a witch hunt-we've found her. 0
Tomfinger 3 years
Pope and Mladic's adopted child Ratko Ratzinger 'not expected to turn out evil' 0
pere floza 3 years
Hollande says plane was not called Grecce Lightning 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

more bad puns later...

Charlie Brooks regrets calling arrest of wife "witch hunt" 1
apepper 3 years

Charlie Brooks, husband of former News International editor Rebekah, has moved quickly to clarify his description of her arrest as a witch hunt. "Of course, I didn't mean that they thought she was a...

deleted 1
Smart Alex 3 years
An idiot’s guide to... Germany. 10
Thor 3 years

An idiot’s guide to Germany., Germany is for many an ideal holiday destination, indeed, ask anyone over the age of 80 and they’ll tell you it’s unmissable. Much of Northern Germany consists...

Rebekah Brooks seen buying boil in the bag eye of newt and dog tongue casserole 0
Tomfinger 3 years

more toil and trouble soon...

Paralysed man ponders next move after successful hand op 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years