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Justice Minister restricts the use of crayon by Coalition Ministers

Following his successful implementation of a ban on prison inmates receiving books, Chris Grayling is hoping to extend the scheme to 'once for all' eradicate logical thought in Cabinet meetings. By...

Wrenfoe 25.03.14 6:37pm
Drug barons considering following Australian government lead

For years drug dealers have tried to make their wares more attractive to consumers - psychedelic patterns on tabs, multi-coloured tattoos on henchmen. But despite all of this marketing effort, drug...

throngsman 25.03.14 6:34pm
Russia out of G8 because 'all its cash is now in London'

US President Barack Obama denied that he had 'been mean' to Russia by throwing them out of the influential G8 club, renaming it the 'Just over G7' club instead. 'The purpose of the club is to hang...

throngsman 25.03.14 6:12pm
Ant Decked 0
Scronnyglonkle 25.03.14 5:57pm
Co-Op drops plans to float because 'we have received crystal meth bill'

Beleaguered financial and retail giant Cooperative has announced that it will no longer be seeking to float on the stock exchange 'to divert attention from the shit we're in' due to auditors...

throngsman 25.03.14 5:50pm
Celebrity attacker apologises - 'I thought it was Dec' 2
throngsman 25.03.14 5:40pm
European border personnel to standardise official scowl.

The EU has directed border officials and security staff to standardise their expressions of official disdain for people using the airports in which they work. It’s understood some Spanish scowling...

nickb 25.03.14 5:19pm
Malaysian official who authorised txt msg to victims' relatives sacked. LOL 0
throngsman 25.03.14 5:01pm
Prisoners watching TV without TV licences sent to 'prisionier' prisons 0
nickb 25.03.14 4:58pm
Nigella Lawson gets go ahead for third breast.

Nigella Lawson may have a third breast by the end of 2017 after planning permission was granted following a public consultation ending in a High Court ruling. But anti NB3 protestors have vowed to...

CulchaVulcha 25.03.14 3:52pm
Telephoto lens range "correlates exactly with penis size" says marketing survey.

The bigger your telephoto, the bigger your penis, says a survey of men's genitals and camera equipment ownership. Men with enormous telephoto lenses are likely to be well endowed, and vice versa. ...

CulchaVulcha 25.03.14 3:33pm
Mick Hucknall Resolves Hunting Rights: Holding Back the Deers 2
james_doc 25.03.14 3:06pm
Midfield Diamond
Prosecutors claim Pistouris guilty of 'shooting from the hip' 0
Kevin the Swan 25.03.14 2:49pm
Kevin the Swan
Anger as misspelt tattoos to be corrected on NHS 1
sydalg 25.03.14 2:43pm
Son of Barnabas
"My life in Curling" by Eve Muirhead tops non-friction best sellers. 3
Son of Barnabas 25.03.14 2:38pm
Son of Barnabas
Bob Crow's funeral delayed by hearse drivers strike

Friends say it's what he would have wanted...

grumblechops 25.03.14 2:18pm
Newyddion: hslew remraf detserra rof gnireggub peehs 5
Son of Barnabas 25.03.14 2:02pm
Son of Barnabas
Polar Bear posts no make-up selfie on Facebook to say thanks for donations 0
bookiesfriend 25.03.14 1:52pm
Clare Balding balding 0
Underconstruction 25.03.14 1:02pm
Japan gives up nuclear materials as part of "Godzilla Agreement" 0
Andy Gilder 25.03.14 12:51pm
Andy Gilder
Fury after Malaysian PM admits "we may never know" when MH370 jokes are ok 0
Bigglesworth 25.03.14 12:28pm
Text messages prove Pistorius 'hardly ever shot girlfriend' claims defence 0
bookiesfriend 25.03.14 12:18pm
Iain Duncan Smith to simplify all his cock-ups into one Universal Cock-Up

‘The current system of cock-ups is complicated and confusing,’ said the Work and Pensions Secretary. ‘Even I have trouble keeping track of them all. That’s why I have decided to create a new...

Ludicity 25.03.14 11:51am
Red Bull Accuse FIA of Being “Big Dumb Stupid Heads”

Millionaire owner of disinfectant cum soft drink Red Bull, Dietrich Mateschitz, has threatened to remove his company from involvement with the sport if immediate changes to the rules for this season...

james_doc 25.03.14 11:00am
Missing Scandinavian airliner appears to have simply vanished into Finnair 0
Smart Alex 25.03.14 10:30am
Smart Alex
‘Inability to cast shadow’ no bar to owning a Premier League club, says FA... 0
Tripod 25.03.14 9:19am
Putin unconcerned by G7 snub. Prefers Il Divo anyway 0
Andy Gilder 25.03.14 9:08am
Andy Gilder
Prospective buyer Massimo Cellino not unfit or improper enough for Dirty Leeds

The Football League has decided that Massimo Cellino, convicted last week of tax evasion in Italy, is too upstanding a citizen to own universally-hated Dirty Leeds United. Having previously been...

Midfield Diamond 25.03.14 8:03am
Midfield Diamond
Airliner book ill-thought out admit Where's Wally creators. 0
MADJEZ 25.03.14 7:53am
UK Wind Turbine Industry Boosted - Snake Oil Refineries Also To Be Extended 0
Titus 25.03.14 7:20am