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Inaugural Gaza Marathon ends in race row 0
3 years

Today's inaugural marathon through the troubled region of Gaza ended in a bitter row. Whilst organizers and participants were quick to praise the event, most of the spectators described it as...

Standard & Poor downgrade Great Britain to Average. 1
Deacon 3 years

Asia Minor re-rated as Asia Even-Minorer., Giant's Causeway now a dirt-track for midgets., Micronesia disappears...

'Yes' to form coalition with 'No' 1
Golgo13 3 years

After the AV referendum count revealed no overall majority, 'Yes' has announced the controversial step of forming a coalition with the 'No', rather than their natural allies, 'Meh'. A defiant 'Yes',...

'Patient friendly' IVF centre opens... 1
be reasonable 3 years

and is immediately swamped by illiterate, violent Ulster protestants...

Clegg claims victory after coming second in AV poll 1
Des and Stan 3 years

Liberal Democrat Leader Nick Clegg claimed victory last night despite the nation having apparently delivered a resounding ‘No’ to the adoption of the Alternative Vote for future Parliamentary...

Election officials employ poll dancers in a bid to boost turnout. 7
wallster 3 years

Well, it's alternative...

Met Police welcomes new "naked-only" surrender rule. 1
Deacon 3 years

and have cited a number of cases in recent years where this rule should be retrospectively applied...

Portugal to be rebranded "Germany-on-Sea" 7
Deacon 3 years
Overwhelming Turnout in Referendum 2
pineapple incident 3 years

Around the country, votes have got up off their back sides and actually gone to the polls, early indications show. Constituencies around England are reporting turnouts consistently above 90%. ...

Archbishop fears start of US-lead "Beardie Bloke Pogrom". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01483/rowanwilliams_1483015c.jpg...

Fatwa issued against Mecca Bingo Halls. 0
Deacon 3 years
US Navy SEAL given life ban from hide and seek competitions 3
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

The World Hide and Seek Federation, governing body for professional hide and seek contests, has taken the unprecedented step of handing a lifetime ban to US Navy SEAL Lance Johnson. The ban is in...

Harry Potter defies super injunction to reveal He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to press 1
acwanaut 3 years
Gordon Sumner injured by US drone 0
Deacon 3 years

as Sting operation goes badly wrong., Queen expresses condolences...

Al-Qaeda's Anwar al-Awalaki: radicalised during the filming of Jewel of the Nile 0
simonjmr 3 years

http://cf1.imgobject.com/backdrops/5c6/4bc92d6b017a3c57fe0125c6/the-jewel-of-the-nile-original.jpg http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/anwar_al-awlaki.jpg...

James Bond resigns from MI5: too much paperwork 2
steve_l 3 years

James Bond, the secret agent formerly known as 007, has resigned from MI5, citing excessive paperwork and boring villan's lairs as making his life as a government assassin unbearable. He said "When...

US reassures doubters that secret death squads will only ever kill bad people 2
rickwestwell 3 years
Loads of piles rise and wank turnip bags on Discovery 0
Deacon 3 years
Contaminated Zam Zam holy water sold from Mecca really from the Thames Thames 0
Basil_B 3 years
Website moderators veto all internet references to Scunthorpe. 0
Deacon 3 years

Offa's Dyke is given 2nd written warning...

Voters told to cast vote in telephone boxes as alternative voting booth. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Shock victory for "meh" campaign 1
rickwestwell 3 years
Geography experts stunned by shock Israeli Eurovision win. 1
Deacon 3 years
US Attorney General says Bin Laden killing was lawful. 0
Deacon 3 years

In other news:, Turkeys have voted AGAINST Christmas;, Bears express a preference for shitting in wooded areas; and, Pope said to be "broadly not in favour" of Atheism...

Mary Whitehouse bequeaths house to American Diplomatic Assassins 4
OldThingy 3 years

Proviso: No bad language, sex or violence please...

Little Red Riding Hood: "My concerns over 'lone wolf' attacks" 0
charlieworth 3 years
Vince Cable demands to know why Competition Commission should not be reformed 1
Deacon 3 years

in 15 words or less. Winner will receive a luxury spa treatment...

10p returned to carrot after lengthy roadside justice campaign. 0
Deacon 3 years
Myleene Klass clones self. 4
Deacon 3 years

In a final bid to monopolise all TV and Radio broadcasts until the end of time the unavoidable media personality, smirker and "musician" has manufactured 700 biologically exact copies of herself. ...

Entire generation deleted as Save the Children forgets to back up its data 1
Qoxiivi 3 years