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Increase in accidents blamed on 'reduced amount of dog poo' on Britains streets

A recent study into the increasing levels of health and safety regulation, as well as the higher number of idiots going to A&E with their hand caught in a toaster, has found the problem is...

Perks 26.01.13 12:50am
Feature: More government advice on practical uses for snow

Following recent government advice that building a snowman is now an official way to prevent flooding, we have decided to bring you this coalition's guide to other uses for the snow during this cold...

Perks 26.01.13 12:31am
Sir Lupus
Rebecca - 3 Mile Island

Dead heroine in nuclear meltdown drama sparks orgasm in advertbot!...

Iscariot 26.01.13 12:24am
New Socialist Collective Eurosceptic Party (SCEP) Formed ....

Milliband promptly offers EU referendum if Labour is elected...

Titus 25.01.13 11:23pm

January 25, 2013 [center]“DEAR ABBY’S LAST WORDS: ADVISES EVERYONE TO ‘GO FUCK THEMSELVES.’ ”[/center], [center]By: Neil Hiatt[/center] MINNEAPOLIS, MN—In a shocking turn of events...

Neil Hiatt 25.01.13 8:20pm
Neil Hiatt
Somerset schools report worrying increase in Cyder bullying 0
bonjonelson 25.01.13 7:45pm
Japanese whaler claims: We do it to get some fin to eat. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 25.01.13 7:35pm
How to be a life coach

So you want to be a life coach? Putting aside the motivation for this dubious aspiration, here are a few tips to help you succeed in Britain's top growth industry: The most important qualification...

custard cream 25.01.13 6:58pm
Dick Everyman
Pentagon allow front line women on a strict 'don't ask, don't tell' basis 0
One Line Only 25.01.13 4:51pm
One Line Only
Rough sleepers to be issued extra sandpaper. 2
wallster 25.01.13 2:55pm
Rebecca to offer in or out referendum 3
godly1966 25.01.13 2:50pm
Pentagon to end ban on women in front-line combat, new day, new tactics

The announcement that the US is to allow women to become front line combat ready troops, has sent a shiver around the worlds armed forces. "It's not that we won't fight them" a representative from...

Codec 25.01.13 1:13pm
Hokey Cokey Party accuse Cameron of stealing their In/Out policy 0
Scronnyglonkle 25.01.13 12:55pm
Ritalin suppositories replace Heroin as highest risk to islanders.

Staff at Shetland’s alcohol & drugs service SADS say they have seen a sharp decline in the use of Heroin amongst residents over the past few years, however the social use of prescription...

Teak Weasel 25.01.13 11:43am
Figures show shrinking econo 0
One Line Only 25.01.13 10:45am
One Line Only
Chefs unhappy with greater Bay Leaf restrictions 0
One Line Only 25.01.13 10:41am
One Line Only
Heart of Rock n Roll to undergo double bypass surgery 0
Dumbnews 25.01.13 2:45am
Gove rejects claims that A-Level reform bill was wrote in just one day.

Following the release of his plans to radically change the A-Level exams Education Minister Michael Gove has dismissed claims that he wrote the bill in just one day while relying on information he...

Hooch 25.01.13 1:31am
Definition : Politics - Ironic Dejavu 0
Trini 25.01.13 1:19am
Jeremy Kyle reunites adopted snow leopard with biological parents

Talk show host and professional chav-baiter, Jeremy Kyle, has used his daytime TV programme to arrange an emotional reunion between an adopted six year-old snow leopard and his biological parents....

Vertically Challenged Giant 25.01.13 12:15am
The All New Jeni B
Consternation as Lincoln movie contains no references to A46 bypass 2
custard cream 24.01.13 11:42pm
Chelsea to sign Moral Hazard 0
GreenCross 24.01.13 10:37pm
Cameron pours his curves into suit for Europe speech

All grown up at last! UK Prime Minister David Cameron was spotted in fashionable London as he stepped out [i]make-up free[/i] for a speech on the future of European federalism. David had slipped his...

BAJDixon 24.01.13 10:26pm
Decline of pubs causes men to "lose complete sense of direction"

A new study of men has shown that their navigation has been completely thrown out of kilter due to the unprecedented amount of pubs closing doors. The study found that males are have completely...

quango 24.01.13 10:13pm
Minister concedes crime is down because there's no police left to report it to. 1
dominic_mcg 24.01.13 7:10pm
Toad community salutes the natterjack at gala dinner...

“We are gathered here tonight”, said Terrence Toad, adjusting his cummerbund around a full waistline, “to salute the sterling work of the natterjack, the most elusive member of the toad family....

Tripod 24.01.13 6:55pm
custard cream
Obama blasted for weak gun reform measures

Lone(ly) anti-gun campaigner Piers Morgan today assassinated the US President by blowing his brains out with a shop-bought machine gun to prove a point. “It should also attract a few more viewers...

Reg Herring 24.01.13 6:41pm
Reg Herring
QPR and Wigan in for Swansea Ball Boy

QPR and Wigan Athletic are going head-to-head to sign the Swansea City ball boy at the centre of a sending-off storm in the Capital Cup., Both Premiership sides are thought to have come in with a...

ChesterField 24.01.13 6:37pm
custard cream
Government warning as tight-arse becomes resistant to suppositories. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 24.01.13 6:25pm
Hazard lights up drab Capital One Cup semi-final

Chelsea midfielder Eden Hazard has said he kicked a Swansea ball-boy in the stomach at last nights Capital One Cup semi final because he was Welsh and not because he refused to let go of the ball.,...

Gerontius 24.01.13 4:13pm