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Twitter storm reaches 8.5 on Richter scale

An unprecedented wave of tweets on twitter expressing outrage reached a phenomenal 8.5 on the Richter scale, several news outlets have reported today. The tweets, initially reported at a magnitude...

David K 16.01.14 4:07pm
David K
New trendy restaurant offers unique non trendy food

Imagine my surprise to eat something non-organic, non-vegetarian, and not part of some fad-diet!...

Dumbnews 16.01.14 3:03pm
WW2 sub-saboteur was anemone of the people 0
Dick Everyman 16.01.14 2:14pm
Dick Everyman
Confusion at the gate. St Peter insists "Are you sure you're not Dave ?"

no more from him soon. Pity....

Not Amused 16.01.14 1:08pm
French President announces withdrawal from CAR - 'We're lovers not fighters' 0
rogerg 16.01.14 12:33pm
Toilet TV watching trend could cost economy 'billions'

Britain’s economy is being hit for billions of pounds in lost work hours due to more and more people spending their days watching TV in the toilet. According to figures released today by the Some...

Dracula 16.01.14 11:00am
Dick Everyman
New Unit for Twitter Outrage Ratified

The International Bureau of Weights and Measures today announced an eighth unit would be added to the SI bases that dominate commerce and science in the modern world., Unlike the other seven base...

james_doc 16.01.14 10:56am
Cuts in UK circus college "limit Britain's clown capabilities"

Former US clown chief Robert Gates has said that UK cutbacks has affected it's ability to play a full role in the world of physical comedy. Mr Gates commented; "I understand that the UK is down to 2...

apepper 16.01.14 10:21am
'Benefits Street' TV reviews branded 'lazy and disgusting'

Criticism of TV 'reality' show 'Benefits Street' has been branded "Lazy and disgusting" today by avid TV watchers and media savvy members of the public., "All the papers have been full of articles...

NewBiscuit 16.01.14 9:49am
'To be happy spend everyday doing things that make you unhappy', says Dr. Phil 0
Dumbnews 16.01.14 3:24am
Pyramids were early call centres confirm Egyptologists

Leading academics researching pyramids in Egypt have now confirmed that the structures were not used to pay homage to ancient gods and rulers, and were most likely built to accommodate the first...

antharrison 15.01.14 11:54pm
Boy, 8, Disappointed that Giant Killer Man-Eating Plants Do Not Exist

Josh Spencer, an eight-year-old schoolboy from Maidstone in Kent, expressed disappointment today that giant man-eating plants, of the sort seen in [i]Little Shop of Horrors[/i] or [i]The Day of the...

Teenwolf 15.01.14 10:32pm
New online newspaper publishes only headlines and comments 0
Dumbnews 15.01.14 9:46pm
Forty-someting obstretician goes through a midwife crisis 5
Smart Alex 15.01.14 6:18pm
Hollande refuses to reveal who comes first 1
CulchaVulcha 15.01.14 6:17pm
Channel 5 to launch 'Celebrity Sex Offender Big Brother'

ITV countered immediately by commissioning ‘I’m A Celebrity Sex Offender, Get Me Out Of Here!’ Set in Alcatraz Prison to maximise transatlantic audience saturation, contestants will arrive in...

farmer giles 15.01.14 5:30pm
farmer giles
A million protest in Trafalgar Square as Bieber does not honor retirement pledge 0
Ref Minor 15.01.14 5:26pm
Ref Minor
Jake the Peg evidence ‘won’t stand up in court’... 2
Tripod 15.01.14 4:29pm
'The Musketeers' not to be repeated on BBC 2 as it was made "All for one"

I thank you....

Ian Searle 15.01.14 4:12pm
Ian Searle
Drop in piracy attributed to rise in ninja attacks

The long running internet debate over ‘who would win in a fight’ between swashbucklers and Japanese assassins has at last been resolved. With sea based piracy at a six year low, it is clear that...

Wrenfoe 15.01.14 3:53pm
Smashy and Nicey to star in remake of Porridge

70s DJs, Smashy and Nicey are to star in a remake of the prison sitcom porridge. The writers promise a "slightly darker" feel to the series...

apepper 15.01.14 2:27pm
'Coal' Discovered in South Yorkshire

Prime Minister David Cameron announced earlier today the discovery of 'coal' by a team of geologists in the South Yorkshre area. Coal, or 'black gold' as it has been known to be called, a scarce...

John Roughty 15.01.14 2:26pm
Son of Barnabas
Dry-athlon fundraiser collapses with Schloerosis of the liver

Professional athlete Wayne Burgess, 27, was today recovering in hospital after collapsing with a rare case of schloerosis, brought on by overdosing on alcohol-free drinks. Burgess had mistakenly...

Son of Barnabas 15.01.14 2:19pm
Son of Barnabas
Tebbit 'only has himself to blame for being a twat' say fat people

Lord Norman Tebbit has only got himself to blame for being one of the most obnoxious men in the UK, say fat people. 'He's a complete twat,' said Sandra Moore (18 stone). 'The guy didn't have to be a...

roybland 15.01.14 2:00pm
Lord Rennard outfoxes sex allegation enquiry. 0
MADJEZ 15.01.14 1:56pm
French birds absolutely gagging for it, insists Francois Hollande

You should see some of the crumpet over here, French president Francois Hollande insisted today. Hollande, who has been nicknamed “Shagger” by fellow EU leaders, claims that Anglo Saxon women...

Gary Stanton 15.01.14 1:46pm
Gary Stanton
Slut Alors!

Plus rapidement...

Kevin the Swan 15.01.14 1:26pm
Son of Barnabas
Banks turn to payday loans to fund bonuses

As austerity measures continue to pinch, the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) is concerned that shareholders may not approve a penurious 200% bonus for their frugal staff. Forced to choose between the...

Wrenfoe 15.01.14 11:59am
Jury demands right to try Ken Barlow

The jury at the centre of the William Roache trial has reacted angrily to the direction of the trial Judge that they have to decide on the guilt or innocence of Mr. Roache rather than his fictional...

jamsieoconnor 15.01.14 11:55am
Two little boys ‘ready to testify’ in Rolf Harris trial... 2
Tripod 15.01.14 9:55am