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Asda cash in on royal baby fever by naming their clothes range George 0
custard cream 28.07.13 5:14pm
custard cream
'The UK counts immigrants like John Prescott counts calories', reveals report

Scrapped story for potential re-write. Today's immigration counting story definitely needs a spoof.I feared this just wasn't it!...

1
Jesus H 28.07.13 4:28pm
Squudge
Catholic Church claims Pope 'bigger than the Rolling Stones' 0
custard cream 28.07.13 4:13pm
custard cream
Wonga 'embarrassed and irritated' to discover christian employees

more soon. Unless you all cough up, with interest...

0
Squudge 28.07.13 3:22pm
Squudge
Theresa May caught diabetes from Romanian asylum seeker. Daily Mail. 1
MADJEZ 28.07.13 2:41pm
Wrenfoe
Anti-Pope spikes erected on Northam Burrows Beach to allay invasion fears

A series of coiled metal spikes have been strategically positioned on Northam Burrows Beach in Devon amid speculation that Pope Francis will be invading the South of England with his entourage to do...

1
kga6 28.07.13 2:39pm
Wrenfoe
Theresa May reveals she is suffering from type 1 nastiness 2
custard cream 28.07.13 2:35pm
Wrenfoe
Wonga say they'll put church out of business "once we find out what they do"

Loan company Wonga have started an intensive programme of research to try and discover what the Church of England actually does. "Early findings suggest that 'wearing pointed hats' is their main...

2
apepper 28.07.13 12:15pm
Squudge
Running Out Of Chocolate? Want To Borrow Some? Come To Wonka. 0
Titus 28.07.13 9:49am
Titus
New Royal Parents Criticised

for 'arrogance and amateurish incompetence' in deciding to try to name their baby before establishing and consulting a seres of focus groups and without retaining the services of an appropriate...

0
Titus 28.07.13 9:24am
Titus
Egypt media coverage ‘boring’

Top couch potato Dave Saunders, who just spends all day just surfing the net and watching tv, labeled the Egyptian ‘crisis’ as extremely boring today. “It’s just totally fucking boring...

0
farmer giles 28.07.13 8:31am
farmer giles
Capodimonte creates Romanian rough sleepers for Trafalgar Square's fourth plinth

Capodimonte porcelain has been chosen to display a life size display of moulded figurines as the new artwork for the Fourth Plinth in London's Trafalgar Square. The sculpture depicts an impoverished...

2
Dick Everyman 28.07.13 7:27am
Dick Everyman
Holst's planets reduced to just Mars, Venus & Jupiter for economic reasons. 11
FOAD 28.07.13 6:15am
Squudge
Archbishop: I actually said we're funding "Wogan." 1
FOAD 28.07.13 6:06am
Squudge
Unusual YouTube video features someone doing what he is supposed to be doing 0
Dumbnews 27.07.13 10:20pm
Dumbnews
Cisse's New Shirt to feature Church of England Logo 1
Metro 27.07.13 7:51pm
The Last Detail
Church Helps The Faithful To Distinguish Right From Wonga

Must have been done before, and if so, apologies...

2
Titus 27.07.13 7:11pm
Titus
Church Helps Poor To Find Cheaper Loans - What Could Possibly Go Wonga?

(I'm sure I'll get there eventually...

1
Titus 27.07.13 6:41pm
Titus
Devout Loan Company Boss Wonders Where It All Went Wonga 0
Titus 27.07.13 6:38pm
Titus
New "Sealed Lip Society" to re-enact Great British Robberies.

In the universal public euphoria over the birth of a new heir to the British throne, a group of ex-convicts has got together to form a society to preserve the tradition of well-organised crimes from...

3
Al OPecia 27.07.13 6:35pm
Al OPecia
Egypt Tries New, Direct, Democratic "Just Count the Demonstrators" Voting System

Just like a massive version the traditional Westminster division lobby procedure, but without party whips and therefore involving less aggression...

2
Titus 27.07.13 6:22pm
Titus
Archbishop not for prophet 7
Squudge 27.07.13 5:39pm
Ref Minor
Florida's drinkers face tough Stand Your Round laws after typing error 1
sydalg 27.07.13 5:29pm
Ref Minor
C of E Wonga thinking emerges

“If people are stupid enough to take out extortionate payday loans, they are gullible enough to be Christians.” said spokesperson Justin Delboy “Our only stipulation for these low interest...

0
farmer giles 27.07.13 5:16pm
farmer giles
Met Police launches new recruitment drive aimed at divorced alcoholic mavericks

The Met Police has defended a new recruitment advertising campaign which targets alcoholics, divorcees, misfits, mavericks and veterans of unpopular military campaigns that the public didn't really...

6
ronseal 27.07.13 5:11pm
thisisall1word
UK to replace overseas aid with Michael Gove to encourage education reform 0
Not Amused 27.07.13 12:27pm
Not Amused
Porn use plummets as Ann Widdecombe starts new career as "Adult" film star

Porn use is in sharp decline after former MP Ann Widdecombe has announced a surprising career change into the adult film world. Government insiders have said that Miss Widdecombe is "taking one for...

3
apepper 27.07.13 12:14pm
Ref Minor
Anthony Weiner sends three-penis tweet 1
sydalg 27.07.13 12:08pm
Lindy Moone
Danny Boyle criticised for 'half arsed' Anniversary Games ceremony

Academy award-winning British director Danny Boyle, who last year mesmerized London and the world with his captivating 'Isles of Wonder' opening ceremony at London 2012, has found himself under...

1
Jesus H 27.07.13 10:54am
Wrenfoe
Stuart Hall disappointed 15 month sentence doubled to 15 month prison term

Ex-BBC commentator and prolific sex offender, Stewart Hall, is said to be disappointed at a court ruling that sees his 15 month sentence doubled meaning he will now have to serve about 15 months with...

0
Lens Cap 27.07.13 9:24am
Lens Cap