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Man’s laptop shuts down for bank holiday weekend

A laptop belonging to a 28 year old Newcastle man has angered its owner by deciding to take off the bank holiday weekend. ‘I went to fire it up this morning’ says Dave Hutchins, the owner of the...

bookiesfriend 26.05.14 4:37pm
Farage backs his wife to replace Queen - "Royal family not German enough"

More to follow...

apepper 26.05.14 4:37pm
Farage, Boris and Salmond the 'Dream team' for UK say pundits. 0
Dun Dunkin 26.05.14 4:36pm
Dun Dunkin
Rumour Boris was out Celebrating 'not true'.

as cameron leads the tories to third place in the elections there were rumours of cases of 'bubbly' being delivered to boris...

Dun Dunkin 26.05.14 4:35pm
Dun Dunkin
Three men who failed to catch falling woman called up to England cricket team 0
bookiesfriend 26.05.14 4:00pm
UKIP would replace Queen with Jeremy Clarkson as head of state claims Clegg. 0
MADJEZ 26.05.14 3:47pm
Farage targets Chancellor's job after general election. 0
Ref Minor 26.05.14 3:29pm
Ref Minor
Mixing booze and politics may cause Ukip warns Chief Medical Officer

Mixing booze and politics may cause Ukip with serious consequences for the individual and the country, according to Chief Medical Officer Professor Dame Sally Davies. The government has warned that...

roybland 26.05.14 3:08pm
‘I hate all foreigners and will go for a pint with everyone’, shouts Clegg

In a remarkable shift in opinion, Deputy PM Nick Clegg has renounced his stance against the UK leaving Europe, declaring openly that he ‘dislikes all foreigners’, and will happily go for a pint...

Jesus H 26.05.14 2:47pm
All Labour And Tory Votes Dismissed By UKIP As 'Merely Protest Votes'. 3
Titus 26.05.14 2:36pm
Electorate open bigot spigot 0
nickb 26.05.14 2:05pm
So called perfectionist exposed after failing to fret over his perfectionism 0
ronseal 26.05.14 12:01pm
Windsor dry cleaner refuses to comment on Nazi uniform request

A Windsor dry cleaner would neither confirm or deny it has been asked to clean a Nazi officer’s uniform by a red headed man who refused to give his name. But a source close to the dry cleaner...

nickb 26.05.14 11:56am
Millwall Football Club declares Independence from EU.

Millwall Football Club, reknown for it's catchphrase chant "nobody likes us, because we're shits", has today startled the footballing world by declaring indepenence from the EU, and as a consequence,...

Al OPecia 26.05.14 11:44am
Al OPecia
Fashion Latest- Putin Attacks Chonchita over Dress Style

"Topless is the only way " said Putin, "besides, that makeup and those shoes will never go together without a bag."...

Dun Dunkin 26.05.14 11:03am
Dun Dunkin
Beardy Weirdies to take over Lib Dems

Lib Dems believe government is over rated and that they are more comfortable as a party with no hope of power. "People only voted for us because they knew and we knew we would never be part the...

Dun Dunkin 26.05.14 10:55am
Dun Dunkin
Farage of criticism...

Much more soon...

MADJEZ 26.05.14 10:48am
Miley Cyrus ‘thrilled' to have tits, ass, fully functioning genitalia...

“I’m thrilled”, said the singer and former child actor, marvelling at the way her body has changed. “When I played Hannah Montana I was just another child star, and the only people who...

Tripod 26.05.14 9:07am
Everyone but me now a Nazi, says everyone. 0
FOAD 26.05.14 9:03am
Gove adds Mein Kamph to GCSE reading list 3
antharrison 26.05.14 9:02am
Stop Press ...Michael Gove's Autobiography

Michael Goves Autobiography to be called. "Gerry Anderson made me the man I am"...

Bismarck 26.05.14 8:28am
Stop Press ...Michael Gove's Autobiography

Michael Goves Autobiography to be called. "Gerry Anderson made me the man I am"...

Bismarck 26.05.14 8:27am
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the polling booth

Apart from London and a few other spots, it seems that this is the picture...

pinxit 26.05.14 8:00am
EU Votes To Be Measured On The Richter Scale 0
Titus 26.05.14 7:08am
Man who shared 'money making secrets' online shocked as competitors flood market

Local man Ken Young was devastated last night after the bottom of his home working industry suddenly fell out. Young was earning around £700, 000 a year, working from home with just his laptop, in...

ronseal 26.05.14 7:07am
Vatican uncertainty over planned Papal visit to mount Olive

hat tip to apepper...

Robert Koch 26.05.14 6:57am
Robert Koch
Careless organic gardener declares "Peas in our thyme" 2
DorsetBoy 26.05.14 6:54am
EU Commissioners Admit Major Mistakes 'Such As, Allowing People to Elect MEPs'. 0
Titus 26.05.14 6:21am
Cat that looks like Hitler considers running in next EU election 0
sydalg 26.05.14 5:31am
Gove plans US book cull

Michael Gove, who has harboured a long standing jealousy over the badger cull as he never gets to cull anything, has announced plans to cull American novels from young minds. He is to remove Of Mice...

Mork 26.05.14 3:04am