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China punks blind dissident Chen Guangcheng by landing back in China and saying 0
thackaray 3 years

"Welcome to the United States"...

Judge States, Rebekah Brooks Sentance Can Include Crushing By Kansas Farm House 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Fucking Staines to Change Name to Staines 0
thisisall1word 3 years

With apologies to Perks;

Greek referendum on exit from Eurovision imminent 9
Clare Ellen 3 years

The EU has called for a Greek referendum on withdrawal from the Eurovision song contest in a last ditch attempt to secure the future trashiness of the annual jamboree. An emergency teleconference of...

Met Police budget shock 2
Bismarck 3 years

The metropolitan Police were quick to deny rumours that cuts to budgets now mean that officers will be carrying the new ecologically friendly wind-up Taser. The device is similar to the original...

Staines officially renamed 'A Stain-upon-the-Thames' 2
Perks 3 years
Obama entertains Camp David 2
simonjmr 3 years
Revealed....... 4
Jesse Bigg 3 years

UK Olympic venue just a 'flat pack'.."Hence, the leaky swimming pool," says a former swimming contender, just out of A @ E...

David Beckham ‘bigger than Facebook’ in soaraway stock market debut 2
Des Custard 3 years

Facebook’s recent much-trumpeted initial public offering was overshadowed today as shares in David Beckham, Inc. gained 23% on their first day of trading, valuing Beckham at over $200 billion. But...

Witch hunt denial by CPS: Brooks calls for crone tracking investigation. 0
weematt 3 years
Pubs in Yorkshire to no longer sell single bottles of lagar..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

along with up to 10 straws, 'as it doesn't constitute a round,' say tight-fisted pub landlords...

Yippee! Hammersmith Utd finally make it to their 'glory hole'..... 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

They're up with the big boys now you know...

Staines renamed Skydmarc 0
apepper 3 years

In a plan to boost tourism, Staines has officially changed its name to Skydmarc. The head of the town council explained; "Staines has been the butt of several jokes over the years, so we were...

Diamond Jubilee lunch marred by absence of Prince Philip gaffes 5
Yikes 3 years

The Queen is said to be “miffed” that Prince Philip spectacularly failed to provide the expected entertainment at the Diamond Jubilee lunch after she had assembled such a promising group of...

G8 Summit Will Mostly Focus on Extraterrestrial Issues 0
Quaz 3 years

A draft agenda for the G8 conference just released on Wiki-leaks reveals that the entire Euro crises is a cover for this weekend’s discussion of Earth’s relations with Extraterrestrial...

Amazon finally deliver Roman Abramovich's trophy he bought in 2003 0
Perks 3 years
Rising fuel cost blamed for fall in drive by shootings. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
British Gas warning that Olympic torch will mean hike in winter energy prices 1
roybland 3 years

British Gas says that energy prices will rise sharply this winter as the Olympic torch depletes gas reserves. 'Consumers who today line the streets cheering on the Olympic flame, are in for a rude...

Treadnill race decides Greek Euro membership 0
Alan Hutchinson 3 years
Greek Debt Crisis Caused by overspend on Plates 0
Quaz 3 years

Speaking at the G8 summit, Angela Merkel has blamed a Greek Banking crisis on “Massive and unsustainable expenditure on broken plates”. Taking the specific example of an Athens Taverna owner,...

Santander British grand prix downgraded to corporate team building weekend 1
medici2471 3 years
Due to government cuts, Olympic flame to be... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

'taken up' by a small group of chain smokers...

Audi Driver Stripped of Car 5
Alan Hutchinson 3 years

Mr James Bain, 53, of Colchester , Essex has had his 2012 Audi A4 repossessed after failing to adhere to the Audi brand ethos of aggressive and discourteous driving., After a tip off from a member...

New sponsorship deal sees Gin named as the official 'Olympic Spirit' 4
Perks 3 years

After an oversight by the marketing department of the London Olympics, Gordon’s London Gin has been belatedly announced as the official ‘Olympic Spirit’. The phrase ‘Olympic Spirit’ has...

Cameron's makeup assistant to the rescue, to spare his blushes.... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

as UK economy falters yet again...

Cameron insistant that coalition MP's....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..must have a whipround to pay for his next little jaunt/skive...

BBC defends Come Dine With Me narrator choice for main Jubilee event. 0
reforse 3 years
Overweight opera singer delighted by Marks & Spencer 'Two for a Tenor' meal deal 3
Smart Alex 3 years

More helpings soon...

Villagers scatter in fear as strangers bring fire to Cornwall. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 3 years
Olympic Torch relay stuck in slow traffic behind tourist caravan in Cornwall 7
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

The Olympic Torch got off to a slow start on its tour of Britian after getting caught behind Brian and Cynthia Jennings on the A30 in west Cornwall. The Stourbridge based Jennings' Ford Mondeo and...