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Faith healers to expand into aircraft maintenance

The Healing Trust, who represents UK faith healers, have announced that they plan to start offering commercial and military maintenance services and promise "significant savings" over conventional...

0
apepper 14.09.13 8:29pm
apepper
Tian Tian eyes superstar future

Tian Tian has been accused of delivering drama queen demands as she lies in her enclosure awaiting the birth of her third cub. With little to do but watch daytime TV and surf the internet, she is...

0
Coco 14.09.13 8:20pm
Coco
Charge to be introduced for the new plastic money 1
Loundshay 14.09.13 7:08pm
MADJEZ
Sunni and Shia agree Sonny and Cher best pop duo of all time

‘Bang Bang’ favourite tune. Qatar to invade Germany as World Cup hopes fade...

0
farmer giles 14.09.13 6:44pm
farmer giles
Shops to pay householders for storing plastic bags

In a surprise move today, Parliament supported the amendment to require shops to pay householders for storing plastic carrier bags in the cupboard under the sink. The new rule also applies to storage...

0
Sfox 14.09.13 5:00pm
Sfox
Wife of After Eights inventor says she wasn't that fondant of him

More wafer thin news later...

1
davetwojackets 14.09.13 4:40pm
Sfox
Hg wins Mercury prize 0
Sfox 14.09.13 4:37pm
Sfox
Milliband stuns critics by announcing no policies until after the election.

Ed, you don't expect us to say what we believe in, Milliband has stunned all of his critics by stating that he will not announce any policies until after the general election. In a statement he said...

0
2escapees 14.09.13 2:47pm
2escapees
Scientists isolate the “Pickles” gene which could end world hunger

After many years searching, it has finally been possible to isolate the gene that allows Eric Pickles to thrive, and even grow, on only 255 calories a day, one tenth of a normal adult intake. The...

0
rogerg 14.09.13 12:40pm
rogerg
McDonald's to "rethink" 50 Shades of Grey Happy Meal toys. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 14.09.13 12:40pm
dominic_mcg
Google Car in "accident" that didn't involve stealing unencrypted WiFi data

Insurers have been shocked to find that they might actually be liable to pay out on a recent accident after a Google Street View car driver crashed into two buses and a truck in Indonesia. A...

0
clarksn 14.09.13 12:09pm
clarksn
Beatles forced to reform

Despite being 50% deceased, the popular beat-combo is set for a surprising comeback. The BBC has agreed to issue a compilation of previously unreleased songs by the Fab Four in reaction to evidence...

9
Wrenfoe 14.09.13 12:08pm
Skylarking
Socrates appalled that a life examined on Facebook not worth living either. 4
Al OPecia 14.09.13 11:47am
Al OPecia
Phil Mitchell goes to Lawyers4you for claim against Carl!

Yes in a dramatic change of approach Eastenders Phil Mitchell has taken the first step in pursuing a claim against driver Carl for the injuries he suffered in the recent car crash. "Before the crash...

0
2escapees 14.09.13 11:11am
2escapees
Harry Webb injured in Welsh Cliff-diving competition.

I'll get my coat. No more soon...

0
MADJEZ 14.09.13 10:56am
MADJEZ
America and Russia up talking all night, may take in a film, go for sushi.

"Oh you know we've been talking about this 'n' that, movies we like, music, chemical weapons - he's a nice guy" said a sleepy headed America this morning. "Hey I don't know where it's going at the...

1
Al OPecia 14.09.13 10:53am
Al OPecia
iPHONE 6 BALLS SENSOR: WILL THIEVES RESORT TO CASTRATION?

TECH RUMORS OF BALLS WEIGHT SENSOR HAS SOME WORRIED THIEVES WILL RESORT TO CASTRATION CUPERTINO–TechCrunch today released leaked Chinese factory photos of a small weight sensor to be placed under...

2
Dustybottoms 14.09.13 9:38am
beau-jolly
Paddington Bear develops stutter in feature length cartoon. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 14.09.13 8:58am
dominic_mcg
Lib Dems Introduce Tax On Wrappers On Sliced Bread & Tops On Yoghurt Pots

Further pointless green posturing to follow...

0
Titus 14.09.13 6:43am
Titus
Obese Woman Plans Small Scale Protest 3
Flugelbinder 14.09.13 6:39am
Titus
Obsessed One Direction Fan Threatens to 'Invade Syria'

An obsessed fan of the popular boy band One Direction has threatened to invade the nation of Syria unless the band follows him on Twitter. In a message posted to the social networking site earlier...

0
captainthomas 14.09.13 3:37am
captainthomas
Syrian Cillit Bang stockpiles to be in U.N. hands by Monday. 0
Boutros 14.09.13 1:08am
Boutros
Morrissey pulls autobiography when he realised it was leatherbound 0
AReader 13.09.13 10:42pm
AReader
Woman who dialled the number of the beast horrified to be calling Ian Brady 0
AReader 13.09.13 10:38pm
AReader
Former Post Master General has apoplectic fit over Royal Mail privatisation. 1
Al OPecia 13.09.13 9:52pm
FlashArry
YouTube fires employee for not watching videos during meetings 0
Dumbnews 13.09.13 9:28pm
Dumbnews
Ray Dolby's death to be marked by minute's noise reduction 13
Idiot 13.09.13 7:13pm
Al OPecia
Fights Start Between Indian Liberals Over 'Death Sentence For Rape' Decision 0
Titus 13.09.13 7:05pm
Titus
President Obama to Cut Education Funding in "Polarizing" Move

In a highly polarizing move, President Obama announced he is using his executive powers to cut federal education funding by 50% in order to install polarized windows in the White House. When reached...

2
xbuckethead 13.09.13 6:48pm
xbuckethead
Panda Cub Birth Delayed 'Until There's Some Bad News To Bury'.

More later. Or possibly not...

0
Titus 13.09.13 6:41pm
Titus