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Cerne Abbas Giant "Just Looks Normal To Me", says Paxman

Following pictures showing the Cerne Abbas giant with a Movember moustache, Jeremy Paxman has declared the chalk giant to be "if anything, a little under-endowed. If I came home with an erection...

0
deceangli 02.11.13 1:55pm
deceangli
"Purr, Purr, Purr, Busy Line" Voted…...

…".Best underground song of the century," say rail workers. "It's the blend of heavy metal and the way the track is laid out, and the soulful screeches."...

0
Jesse Bigg 02.11.13 1:50pm
Jesse Bigg
Dog Scientists Decipher Wayne Rooney Body Language

Scientists working on canine body language have shed more light on how the movements of Wayne Rooney's arse are linked to his mood. "We know that in dogs a left-handed or right-handed wag indicates...

0
deceangli 02.11.13 1:46pm
deceangli
Joe Hart given time off to wash his hair

Manchester City have granted their goalkeeper a well deserved rest this Saturday to allow him time to take proper care of his luxuriant blonde thatch, a trait that the 26 year old credits for his...

2
cinnahmon 02.11.13 1:14pm
cinnahmon
Tourette's Syndrome Affects House of Commons...

…Mr Speaker (with cottonwool in his ears) invokes the Gag Act, and on come the comics...

0
Jesse Bigg 02.11.13 1:02pm
Jesse Bigg
Bloody big chicken turns up at Brooks-Coulson Trial. Reported Roosting. 4
blokefromstoke 02.11.13 12:54pm
blokefromstoke
Wino community urged to "stay calm" as paint thinner shortage looms

Gatherings of tramps around barrels of burning tar are about to become much quieter and more subdued affairs, as the Government warns of a drastic shortage of petroleum-based refreshments. Wino...

0
sydalg 02.11.13 12:26pm
sydalg
Shouts of "ollocks!" and "astard!" now common as millions of Bs disappear 2
sydalg 02.11.13 12:19pm
blokefromstoke
BBC iPod left on ‘play & repeat’, as Radio 2 runs out of music presenters... 1
Tripod 02.11.13 11:32am
AReader
Quantum physicists flock to new science forum, Schrödinger's Chat 0
sydalg 02.11.13 11:32am
sydalg
Aide in shock after seeing Vince Cable without mask

A junior parliamentary aide was last night rushed to the trauma unit of a central London hospital after accidentally catching a glimpse of Trade Secretary Vince Cable without the wax prosthetic mask...

10
blokefromstoke 01.11.13 11:41pm
blokefromstoke
"Honest, Upright Citizens To Blame…."

….For these extensions, says local vicar...

1
Jesse Bigg 01.11.13 11:30pm
Kevin the Swan
Killer bee on the loose in Northern Pakistan 0
cinnahmon 01.11.13 11:19pm
cinnahmon
Santa's union votes to strike on 25 December 1
antharrison 01.11.13 11:15pm
Otto Jespersen
Eon Duncan Smith denies Tories are too close to energy companies 4
CulchaVulcha 01.11.13 10:52pm
Sir Lupus
Changing electricity supplier to be turned into video game...

A new video game claims to combine the complexities of comparing electricity tariffs with the subsequent desire to wreak vengeance on random strangers with a pump-action rifle. Jim Antrobus is CEO of...

1
Tripod 01.11.13 10:51pm
Sir Lupus
Experts wonder how many penis extensions JoF's organ can take 1
Squudge 01.11.13 10:17pm
FlashArry
Penis extension didn't work out? Write for NewsBiscuit.... 0
Kevin the Swan 01.11.13 10:15pm
Kevin the Swan
Wife of man who had penis extension claims it has 'driven them apart' 2
blacklesbianandproudofit 01.11.13 9:18pm
Squudge
Penis-extension spam hits government targets.

The Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt today jubilantly announced that the government target for 'zero' penis-extension spam has been achieved, although they hadn't managed to 'nip this thing in the bud'....

10
Squudge 01.11.13 8:35pm
sponge finger
Halloween Dress?

Two men in Nazi uniform seen in supermarket., Looking for ciggy aisle?...

1
Jesse Bigg 01.11.13 8:10pm
Jesse Bigg
Striking fireman refuses to extinguish own house blaze

Tom Roberts, one of Mersey Fire Brigade's most militant activists, was praised by his striking workmates after he refused to tackle a bonfire-related blaze at his own home in Liverpool. The fire,...

0
antharrison 01.11.13 8:01pm
antharrison
Man who forgot Bag for Life at supermarket inconsolable at damage to planet 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 01.11.13 7:45pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Kajagoogoo "devastated" at arrest of sole remaining fan 0
Drylaw 01.11.13 7:26pm
Drylaw
Whale futures boom as George Thornton dies. 0
Maverick 01.11.13 7:19pm
Maverick
IKB visits HS2

In a bid to cheer up staff at the beleaguered HS2 headquarters today, the management arranged a visit from railway building legend Isambard Kingdom Brunel, or 'IKB' as he is widely known. IKB is...

0
blacklesbianandproudofit 01.11.13 7:18pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Ofsted condemns new BBC reality show Great British Bunk Off. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 01.11.13 7:15pm
dominic_mcg
Waiter who lost part of penis in restaurant accident disappointed at lack of tip 1
blacklesbianandproudofit 01.11.13 6:42pm
Wrenfoe
Man who had penis extension no longer able to fit his car in garage 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 01.11.13 6:28pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Carpet fixing charges: Ofcut to investigate 1
iRonA 01.11.13 3:33pm
Sinnick