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"What do you mean, he isn't a dwarf?!" asks stunned Merchant 0
medici2471 3 years
Mrs Alan Johnson also faces the sack 3
medici2471 3 years
Come Dine With Me voiceover to I Have A Dream speech 'may have been a mistake' 0
Oxbridge 3 years

Campaigners have admitted that, in retrospect, they should not have invited comedy voicover actor Dave Lamb to supply a series of camp and sarcastic interjections during Dr Martin Luther King's...

Problem looms over poor cloth making machines 0
apepper 3 years

Many British cloth making machines are faulty. Asked if this problem was looming a spokesman said, "That's what I've just said, cloth ears."...

Pat Sharp explains he actually said he would "dismember and burn JEDWOOD!" 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Country rallies behind him...

Atheist Pavlovian researcher launches Salivation Army. 6
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

Hat-tip to Medici...

Teenage rebel walked out after failing to upset parents 5
Midfield Diamond 3 years

Missing student Charlie Bradfield may have left home because his parents approved of everything he did, according to his closest friends. "Charlie did his best to provoke his old man and got really...

Electric cars can be charged overnight from solar cells, claims Minister 0
Ostsee 3 years
Microsoft Bankrupted By Man Trademarking The Phrase ‘Fragment (Consider Revising 2
UnoEye 3 years

The IT industry was left in shock yesterday after the collapse of the software giant Microsoft when unemployed Dave Digby from Felixstowe trademarked the phrase ‘Fragment (consider revising)’....

TV Chat Show Host Replaced By Talking Arse 0
Fray Brentos 3 years

In a drive to cut costs at the BBC, producers have been forced to pull Graham Norton off. Sorry, have been forced to pull Graham Norton off his prime-time Friday night slot., Beeb bosses announced...

Missing Scandanavian airline pilot 'just disappeared into Finnair' 5
Smart Alex 3 years
Bellringer's ASBO overturned on a peal 1
vertical 3 years

dusting out back corners of my gag store, why do camp anologists always practise at 7.30am on a saturday...

Lord Gaga Calls Time on 'Uncontrollable" Wife 0
Fray Brentos 3 years

The elaborate stage performances and headline-grabbing costumes of Lady Gaga could well be consigned to the annals of history following the discovery of her antics by Lord Gaga, 4th Marquis of...

Use of placebos can produce sugar dependence, claims BMA. 0
Griffin 3 years
Ricky Gervais not a bigot, claims dwarf 3
Sam 3 years

A high profile dwarf has defended Ricky Gervais against accusations of bigotry, before being pushed over and laughed at by Gervais himself. “Ricky likes to play around with traditional notions of...

Spanish fisherman denies he castanet 1
woody 3 years

definately no more soon...

Coogan denies Daily Mail reports he lives 'in a pear tree' 3
Perks 3 years
Tributes flood in for Ian Brunel, Britain's most inventive hedge fund speculator 5
3 years

Tributes have continued to pour in for Ian Brunel, the recently passed hedge fund speculator who has done more to shape our lives than any man in recent history. Famed for his ability to push a loop...

Green graffiti cleaner loses position with Isle of Wight Council 4
fernandomando 3 years

Derek Johnson, at one stage dubbed a green pioneer for his work with natural cleaning products, has been made redundant after his lemon juice inspired rapid response graffiti cleaning services proved...

Ex-pat Brits returning from Oz 'due to lack of conviction' 0
Runestone Cowboy 3 years
Man dies after overdose of moderation 1
Nick McCarr 3 years
iPhone 4S recall notice issued after Siri app develops attitude problem 16
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Apple have been forced to recall thousands of units of the iPhone 4S after complaints from users that the Siri app had become unhelpful, rude, and in extreme cases, had called in anonymous tips about...

Ofcom investigate X factor over illegal promotion of algebra 4
charlies_hat 3 years
Mervyn King Latest: "Reduce inflation to solve mass unemployment. Also gravity," 0
Ablative Fabsolute 3 years
Bishop [insert name] apologises for child sex abuse in Diocese of [insert area] 5
dvo4fun 3 years

more multiple purpose apologies soon (maybe longer sub later)...

Mobile phone companies to offer simplified pricing for an additional fee 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Consumers shocked to learn no new smartphone released today 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Queen to speak on Blatter : Nation holds its breath 2
Drylaw 3 years
Surprise witnesses at Leveson Inquiry as Coogan calls A-ha 0
grumblechops 3 years
C of E to adopt gospel according to John Lewis this Christmas 8
button 3 years

In a surprise announcement the head of the Church of England has announced that the church is to formally re-write its Christmas story. Dr Rowan Williams told the assembled media at a press...