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Gas prices to be linked to aircraft carrier inflation.

more hypothermia soon...

Boutros 04.11.13 9:55pm
Witness protection programme and X Factor join forces

The UK witness protection programme, which defends vulnerable witnesses and people involved in the justice system whose identity being known leaves them under threat, has announced it plans to...

TobiasBV 04.11.13 8:28pm
Al OPecia
.....all for one and none for all

Labour leader Little Eddie Millepede has taken another happy pill and vowed to deliver a 'living wage' to millions if he wins the next general election in 2015. Always assuming that there will be...

vanhellsink 04.11.13 7:45pm
'What the hell am I going to do now then?' Asks courtroom artist

A courtroom artist is fearing for his livelihood today after cameras were finally granted permission to film inside the Royal Courts of Justice, in a moment of legal and broadcasting history, which...

Jesus H 04.11.13 7:13pm
Jesus H
Porn stars launch 'thick winter clothing' charity calendar 5
Idiot 04.11.13 6:38pm
Mohammed Ahmed Mohamed win's Britain's next top model

The Home Office is examining it's security systems after it emerged that escaped terrorist suspect, Mohammed Ahmed Mohamed, has won Britain and Ireland's next top model and has been awarded a...

apepper 04.11.13 6:31pm
Morsi tells trial "I am Spartacus!". Morsi soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.11.13 5:44pm
Al OPecia
Nightclubs to introduce shitfaced-scan tech to target booze ads. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.11.13 5:43pm
Al OPecia
co-operative bank to become cooped up ratif bonque

Perhaps this is a little too obscure?...

malta witty 04.11.13 5:31pm
Man wearing burqa no threat as "he doesn't hold a Terrorist visa". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.11.13 5:26pm
Al OPecia
New study shows toilet door information inaccurate.

Mary Smith DOESN'T like it up the arse...

Maverick 04.11.13 4:57pm
YouTube users unsure how to comment on offensive video deserving of hate 0
Dumbnews 04.11.13 4:55pm
Kathleen Sebelius apologises that Obamacare will ‘not cover’ military torture

The White House has been further embarrassed this week by the admission that waterboarding, force-feeding and medicinal torment will not be part of the President’s plan for affordable healthcare....

Wrenfoe 04.11.13 4:28pm
custard cream
I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here to be filmed directly from HMP Belmarsh

Following a spate of celebrity incarcerations, ITV have announced that the location of its popular reality TV show, 'I'm a CelebrityGet Me Out of Here!', will be relocated from the tropics of...

Jesus H 04.11.13 4:06pm
Jesus H
Irish terror suspect caught sneaking out of church in a bikini 0
A.A.Arkwright 04.11.13 4:06pm
Ding beats Dong in Chinese Campanology Championships 0
custard cream 04.11.13 3:58pm
custard cream
Yewtree arrests Freddie Starr on suspicion of oral sex with hamster 2
sydalg 04.11.13 3:43pm
Misanthropic Archaeologist has a Dig at Everyone 0
Flugelbinder 04.11.13 3:29pm
Call for brain-dead footballers to be removed from the pitch

A spokesman for the charity Rich Thickos called today for brain-dead footballers to be removed from the pitch until they showed a basic form of intelligence, compared with, say, a rock. The...

John Wiltshire 04.11.13 3:03pm
John Wiltshire
Twat in suit uses words "Robust and Rigorous" one time too many. Bludgeoned.

Some twat in a senior management position, wearing a drecky Marks & Spencer two piece and light blue stay-prest shirt (but, as if to claw desperately at the last remaining tendril of his...

blokefromstoke 04.11.13 2:02pm
Jonah qualifies for Wales following new 3 day residency rule 2
irreverendJ 04.11.13 1:59pm
70’s Light Entertainer admits molesting self

One of the few remaining figures in 70’s light entertainment not to be questioned as part of Operation Yewtree yesterday admitted molesting himself on repeated occasions over a 30 year period....

blokefromstoke 04.11.13 1:40pm
Co-op and Food Bank set to merge

The troubled Co-op Bank is in talks to merge with the Food Bank in an attempt to prevent branch closures and save jobs. Spokesman for the Co-op, Andrew Gilhooley said, “It’s genius really. ...

Coco 04.11.13 1:22pm
New Schools Chief meets with Headteachers in disused abbatoir

The Secretary of state for Education, Michael Gove has announced the appointment of a new Chief Inspector for Schools. Ronnie “The Animal” Henderson has been brought in to, in Mr Gove’s words,...

blokefromstoke 04.11.13 12:55pm
Midfield Diamond
Royal Mail collapses as penchant for 'open letters' on the rise 0
KateWritesStuff 04.11.13 12:14pm
Juan Sheet does Katie Price 1
Oxbridge 04.11.13 12:11pm
Open Justice: Your guide to televised UK Court proceedings

Despite the much publicised introduction of television cameras in the Court of Appeal, it appears that the general public are still confused about what exactly lawyers and Judges are talking about...

jamsieoconnor 04.11.13 10:59am
Jeepers Creepers

Not to be out done by J Sainsbury and their exciting free 'wandering spider' offer Tesco are offering a selection of free venomous creepy-crawlies with their assorted fruit and vegetables-Buy 0ne get...

vanhellsink 04.11.13 10:17am
Maidstone Prison Riot

..lock 'em all up I say...

vanhellsink 04.11.13 10:08am
Chaos on Welsh Countdown as winner top scores with nine consonents 2
AReader 04.11.13 10:04am
John Wiltshire