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Tory Peer's apology in full; "I didn't know anyone lived in the north"

Tory Peer, Lord Howell has apologized for his remarks about the north-east of England. "I had no idea that it was habitable north of Watford, so I'm deeply sorry for the people forced to live in such...

apepper 31.07.13 1:16pm
NB Wins Spammy Award For Attracting More Spam Than Any Other Spoof News Website 4
Titus 31.07.13 1:12pm
Classical physicists attacked by wild Bohr 0
Smart Alex 31.07.13 12:03pm
Smart Alex
Gareth Bale joins Norwich City

Norwich manager Chris Hughton was ecstatic today as he pulled off the soccer signing of the century by landing Spurs star striker Gareth Bale for a world record transfer fee of £150 million. Paid...

farmer giles 31.07.13 10:48am
farmer giles
BBC to include new "How We Commissioned it" bit at the end of each show

BBC executives are cock a hoop with the success of the 'how we made it' feature at the end of each show on their channels, and plan to take the concept further. Starting in September, all shows will...

ronseal 31.07.13 10:41am
HR genius devises job ad designed to deter all except deluded bullshitters

A team of boffins in a Human Resources lab claims it has created the perfect advert to screen out almost all normal people and attract a 99 per cent pure audience of bullshitters, deluded chancers...

ronseal 31.07.13 10:20am
Panic Sets In And Official Enquiry Launched As Sun Fails To Appear

Investigation also launched into cause of moisture on outdoor surfaces. Government urges public to remain calm...

Titus 31.07.13 9:27am
Lamb denied slaughter by High Court 0
topfotogmw 31.07.13 9:24am
Gok Wan admits defeat - tells Pope

"I don't know what I could do to make the clergy any more campwith the flowing robes, bling jewellery, love for candles and their penchant for a bit of buggery, seems like you got this thing down...

raudus 31.07.13 9:19am
Jesus H
Penniless unemployed baker who needed dough brown bread

Put loaf in oven...

farmer giles 31.07.13 8:32am
farmer giles
Gok Wan heads to the Vatican to 'camp-up the clergy'

After surprising the world with his relaxed views on homosexuality, Pope Francis has stepped-up his attempts to modernise the Catholic Church by enlisting the services of eccentric style-guru Gok...

Jesus H 31.07.13 8:31am
farmer giles
Top Gear Team Campaign For UK Motorways To Have Less Sharp Corners 0
Titus 31.07.13 8:14am
Penniless unemployed baker needs dough 2
farmer giles 31.07.13 8:11am
Newsbiscuit Fans Cheesed Off With Spammy Posts 3
Titus 31.07.13 8:03am
NATo to deploy cat-pooh bombs against Taliban.

General Paul Motors, C-I-C of NATO forces in Afghanistan, has announced that his troops will be deploying cat-pooh bombs against insurgents. He said this morning, “we’ve realised that using...

FOAD 31.07.13 7:42am
Disappointment after masses realize religion is a ridiculous tale 1
Dumbnews 31.07.13 7:32am
Company takes giant strides towards world’s largest pair of trousers

Oversized clothing company Chubby Gear is hoping to give its global profile a leg up – by tailoring the world’s largest-ever pair of trousers! Measuring 142 feet tall, they will beat the current...

farmer giles 31.07.13 6:48am
farmer giles
Wanted: Schrödinger’s cat. Dead and alive...

Hat tip to Tripod...

Smart Alex 31.07.13 5:55am
Disappointment after man's first smartphone fails to change his life 0
Dumbnews 31.07.13 3:45am
Wanted: Schrödinger’s cat. Dead or alive... 1
Tripod 30.07.13 10:53pm
Not Amused
Schrödinger and Hamilton relationship "on off" confides friend 0
Ref Minor 30.07.13 10:08pm
Ref Minor
Barclays Considers Asking Archbishop Of Canterbury About A Loan 0
Titus 30.07.13 9:27pm
People in large, desolate areas resent them being callled large, desolate areas 0
Titus 30.07.13 9:22pm
Palace footman's deporatation causes inbalance in overly-ethnic staff mix.

The news of royal footman Badar Azim being sent back to India has caused panic in the Royal Palaces HR department. Badar seen recently putting the royal baby announcement up outside Buckingham Palace...

MADJEZ 30.07.13 9:19pm
3am fight in Indian restaurant just a "Ramadan a ding dong" claim defendants. 0
godly1966 30.07.13 8:55pm
What people are jerking off to right now - fascinating new Porno Graphic 0
ronseal 30.07.13 7:07pm
HS2 welcomed by dyslexic eproctophiliac 4
medici2471 30.07.13 6:52pm
Al OPecia
Peer apologises for comments about North East, meant to say 'utter shit-hole'

More Northern insults soon...

MADJEZ 30.07.13 6:21pm
Steve Austin receives threats as his image is used on 6 Billion Dollar Note

more later...

virtuallywill 30.07.13 2:37pm
Mr Instore changes his name, fed up with people asking him "for details" 0
sydalg 30.07.13 2:02pm