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Prince Charles asks how Tube can be profitable with so many empty carriages 0
One Line Only 30.01.13 4:51pm
One Line Only
Church of England to import congregations from Africa

Due to a huge decline in numbers attending church, the General Synod today announced a radical new plan to arrest, and even reverse, the trend. Members of the church currently residing in Nigeria,...

0
rogerg 30.01.13 4:08pm
rogerg
British tennis player admits taking performance worsening drugs

In a tearful interview, a former British tennis ace has confessed to the regular use of muscle reducers and reaction slowing drugs. "I used to have a cannonball serve and eyes like a hawk.", sniffed...

0
apepper 30.01.13 4:05pm
apepper
Mexican band were murdered for their 'sheet music'

Apologies to the late Humphrey Lyttleton...

3
Idiot 30.01.13 3:56pm
Titus
Save our A&E campaign boosted by inclusion of I, O and U 7
custard cream 30.01.13 3:26pm
Midfield Diamond
Wagner-Loving South Coast Islanders Decide to Form Wight-Ring Political Party

Less soon, we desparately hope...

0
Titus 30.01.13 2:49pm
Titus
Tesco identifies scape-alsatian 0
30.01.13 12:39pm
French President Says "Simon Sez"

So Cameron jumps to it...

0
Jesse Bigg 30.01.13 12:20pm
Jesse Bigg
Proposed left turn in Channel Tunnel will link France to Isle of Wight

In a statement from the Department for Transport released today engineers are working on plans to link France via the Channel Tunnel to the Isle of Wight. A left hand turn off the main tunnel is...

2
Dick Everyman 30.01.13 12:02pm
Dick Everyman
Rebecca finally released

Rebecca from Mature Dating was finally released after being held hostage for over a year. "I emailed everyone I knew, and some I did not to highlight my situation - that I was being held less than...

1
sillybugger 30.01.13 10:12am
Titus
Train trainers take train training in trainers 2
One Line Only 30.01.13 9:47am
Perks
Scarfe told to get his hat and coat 0
Geraldine Wiley 30.01.13 9:25am
Geraldine Wiley
Ryan Air to offer infrequent flyers complementary downgrades 2
Dumbnews 30.01.13 8:41am
Squudge
Government to announce high-speed Bus Replacement Service 1
Sinnick 30.01.13 8:39am
nickb
Paul Scholes 'deicing with death' as car stolen 1
custard cream 29.01.13 11:57pm
deskpilot3
Britain sends white flags, monkeys and some cheese to support French in Mali 6
ginty 29.01.13 11:41pm
Titus
Success of electronic cigarettes for smokers see vegetarians try 'battery hens' 2
One Line Only 29.01.13 11:31pm
Titus
Vegetarians condem Desperate Dan 'Cow Pie' Cartoon

The Editor of The Dandy has appologised...

2
Ian Searle 29.01.13 11:25pm
Titus
Royal Mint "can't afford for Queen to abdicate"

The Royal Mint has admitted that the prohibitive cost of designing new coins and banknotes makes the prospect of changing the monarch "completely unacceptable". A spokesman explained; "That's why...

0
apepper 29.01.13 11:13pm
apepper
Tony Blair delighted at being granted 'Freedom of Walsall' honour 3
custard cream 29.01.13 11:02pm
sillybugger
Cameron "incensed" that plan to remove Dorries fails in Commons vote. More soon 0
Al OPecia 29.01.13 9:01pm
Al OPecia
Researchers find E-Cigarette addiction can be tackled by battery substitutes 0
custard cream 29.01.13 8:47pm
custard cream
Nursery changes mean more plants per teacher 0
One Line Only 29.01.13 8:45pm
One Line Only
Cats kill birds and mice, research shows 0
Scroat 29.01.13 7:08pm
Scroat
Geordies vow revenge after the Angel of the North is defiled with a coat

In an act of vandalism that is described as being ‘as insulting to Geordies as depicting the prophet Mohammed is to Muslims’, Newcastle’s famous Angle of the North has been given a coat....

9
Perks 29.01.13 6:56pm
Not Amused
Immigration via Channel Tunnel blocked by Pickles

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01645/Eric_Pickles_1645336a.jpg...

5
Squudge 29.01.13 6:56pm
Squudge
Camden pedestrian killed by falling betting shop sign

A spokesman said "What are the odds on that"...

6
callaway 29.01.13 6:37pm
callaway
UK Votes to Leave Scottish Union in Bid to Improve Average UK Life Expectancy 0
Titus 29.01.13 5:43pm
Titus
Radio presenter throttles guest for answering questions with ‘So...’

A local breakfast-radio host has admitted manslaughter during an interview with an early morning guest. Brian ‘Blaster’ Bamford was twenty minutes into his drive-in show on Pembrokeshire’s...

2
Dick Everyman 29.01.13 5:21pm
Paddy Berzinski
Reading bus company running on bullshit sub too obvious to bother with 0
Nowherefast 29.01.13 5:12pm
Nowherefast