The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
|Topic — Add New »||Comments||Votes||Author||Freshness|
|Passive-Aggressive Society of Shanklin to close after 75 resentful years||10||
Residents of the Isle of Wight's leading geriatric-oriented community were in shock after the local Passive-Aggressive Society announced it was to disband. "Well it certainly wasn't my fault", said...
|Queen's food taster dead after Prince of Wales omelet.||1||
||Curbie Firetank||3 years|
After three months in the job, veteran food taster to the Queen, Sir Digby St John Filigree-Gresham passed away painfully yesterday after the tasting of a mushroom omelet. The omelet had been...
|Red faces in Whitehall as Al-Megrahi mistakenly renamed "Royal Abdelbaset".||0||
||Le Creuset Fiend||3 years|
|Saadi Gaddafi's surrender hijacked by last-minute Spurs bid||0||
|Jedward have until Saturday to surrender||0||
||Doug Sourboyes||3 years|
|Hurricane Irene not all bad news say the Weinmann's of Long Island||2||
Whilst much ot the Eastern Seaboard were counting the cost and beginning the clear up, Herb and Ida Weinmann returned to their home following the evacuation to discover the storm had left them a new...
|German city of Bonn taxes prostitutes with meter, clients by the millimetre.||1||
|Traveller eviction starts badly as Pete Ikey serves notice from council.||0||
|Di Canio shock as striker refuses to take a dive||0||
||Midfield Diamond||3 years|
Following his team's defeat in the Carling Cup last night, Swindon manager Paolo di Canio is shocked that English footballers will not go down theatrically under the slightest challenge. The...
|FA launches Let Kick Climate change Denial out of Football campaign||11||
Football fans who make offensive chants about wind turbines could face stiff jail sentences, as the government and the FA pledge to 'get tough' with climate change deniers. The news was welcomed by...
|Meltdown at Panini as deadline day gets underway||0||
|Wenger buys 4 new Defenders from Landrover. More soon.||1||
|Tragic death of Len Ganley - curse of Half Man Half Biscuit strikes again||8||
Welsh actress Nerys Hughes was reported to be holed up in a Rhyl safehouse last night after the notorious 'Half Man Half Biscuit curse' struck yet again with the death of snooker referee Lan Ganley....
|"Coolest summer on record" claim not true, says Henry Winkler. More soon.||0||
|Cameron unhappy at not selling Cable before transfer window closed. More soon.||0||
|We would have found Gaddafi by now claims former editor of the Sport. More soon.||0||
|International Break arranged to allow Fantasy Football Leagues to update.||0||
|Wootton Bassett sad about no longer being sad||0||
|Sarcozy nationalises Disneyland Paris||6||
French President Nicolas Sarcozy is considering nationalising Disneyland Paris, to prevent foreign visitors being surprised at its inherent 'frenchness'. Despite the best efforts of Disneyland's...
|Chiswick organist gives woman vibrato.||0||
||rebel not taken||3 years|
A Chiswick organist has been accused of performing vibrato on an elderly woman in a church vestry. Turnham Green resident Humphrey Nonce was allegedly seen with 69 year old Doris Clunge sitting on...
|New Facebook feature automatically "likes" all your top friend's posts||0||
|JayZ now has 100 problems||0||
|Crackdown on rioters starts by only allowing benefits for the first looter||0||
David Cameron today outlined his new hard-nosed approach to rioters and looters “Only the first looter in the family will get benefits, subsequent looters will not bring in more Government cash to...
|Police mustard to tackle watercress thieves||0||
|Desperate Arsene Wenger recruits Colonel Gaddafi to shore up Arsenal's defence||0||
|Len Ganley takes extended rest||1||
|Michele Bachmann Declares Own Candidacy A Warning From God||2||
Hot on the heels of controversial remarks that the recent earthquake and storm on America's east coast were a sign of god's wrath, presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann today added to her portents of...
|"More bang for your buck" 14 days @ Sirte Hilton starts Saturday 3rd September.||0||
More soon. Get in before the rush. I'll get my flak jacket...
|Coolest Summer for Two Decades "Hangover From Labour Government"||0||
|Man killed by Taser offered 'too much resistance' claim police - 2||51||
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