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Advert: Stand out from the crowd of black umbrellas with a new cream brolly. 3
FOAD 05.07.13 12:22pm
Lindy Moone
Trainee actuary breaks world sneeze speed record

Pole Jerzy Janowicz may have the fastest serve at Wimbledon but Britain’s own Alan Moore has broken the record for the world’s fastest sneeze. Alan, a trainee actuary at Friends Life, frequently...

0
blacklesbianandproudofit 05.07.13 12:03pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
British woman on cycling holiday accidentally wins stage 7 of Tour de France

Sporting history was made today as a female British tourist became the first ever none-professional cyclist to win a stage of the world's most prestigious and gruelling sporting events - the Tour de...

4
NorthernGravy 05.07.13 12:00pm
NorthernGravy
World War 3 disqualified after too many false starts. 1
sredni vashta 05.07.13 11:49am
Wrenfoe
Survey of TV news shows 70% of school children only exist from the waist down

A further 20% are blurred and out of focus, with the final 10% suffering from severe pixellation or blockiness around the face...

2
Ian Searle 05.07.13 11:42am
sredni vashta
Radio 4's The Now Show to be re-named The 30 minute Daily Mail Infomercial Show

Radio 4 has decided to rebrand one of its comedy staples in order to reflect its narrow, bourgeois obsessions. The Now Show is to be re-named The 30 Minute Daily Mail Informercial Show, following...

4
ronseal 05.07.13 11:35am
custard cream
Welsh assumed consent law could reap unexpected benefits

Surgeons believe that by removing the voiceboxes of Charlotte Church, Katherine Jenkins, and Sir Tom Jones that they could help relieve the suffering of millions of people around the globe. Just for...

1
Smart Alex 05.07.13 11:23am
custard cream
Council ends racism, child abuse and bigotry through unlimited pamphlet printing

Suburbiton Council has successfully brought racism, sexism, domestic violence, global warming and social inequality to a halt, through a series of pamphlets printed in a selected range of languages....

17
StoopyDeGunt 05.07.13 11:01am
rickwestwell
Will.i.am quits The Voice to concentrate on his dog food business.

More soon. http://www.whosaidnothinginlifeisfree.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/iams.jpg...

2
MADJEZ 05.07.13 10:50am
Lindy Moone
Viewers quit The Voice ' to concentrate on watching something less shit' 0
Oxbridge 05.07.13 10:46am
Oxbridge
Penis-flavoured condoms taste just like the real thing, says manufacturer 4
sydalg 05.07.13 10:42am
Lucy4
Labour leader accuses Union of having weapons of mass distruction

Wellit worked for them in the past...

0
raudus 05.07.13 10:41am
raudus
Jessie J quits BBC's The Voice. Claims it's not about the money...

More cha-ching cha-ching soon...

3
MADJEZ 05.07.13 10:39am
Lucy4
Dyslexic hippy teenager misunderstands Mum's note and tie-dyes her bedroom 0
Smart Alex 05.07.13 10:28am
Smart Alex
UK government to claw revenue from Corporation Tax dodgers

The UK Treasury today announced a sweeping new proposal for the taxation of corporate profits, in which tax will be applied at the point of sale as distinct to the offices from which the corporation...

22
Arthur 05.07.13 10:00am
Wrenfoe
Ed Miliband denies links to voters

In an unparalleled show of strength, the Labour Leader has comprehensively cut off all ties with the electorate. Having become acutely aware that the appearance of chasing voter approval may...

3
Wrenfoe 05.07.13 9:12am
herculepoisson
Quote of the day: 'Write drunk, edit... what?'

More some day soon...

1
Lindy Moone 05.07.13 9:02am
Lindy Moone
Plan to destroy Blackpool has unexpected benefit of gas production

More to follow...

0
apepper 05.07.13 8:39am
apepper
UNITE boss wants to change his union's name 1
Sinnick 05.07.13 8:38am
Titus
Inventor of computer mouse clicks the bucket 6
Skylarking 05.07.13 8:29am
Oxbridge
Egyptian Army Says 'Democracy Only Counts If You Vote For The Right People' 0
Titus 05.07.13 7:13am
Titus
Outrage As Trade Union Demands That Labour Party Supports Working People 0
Titus 05.07.13 7:09am
Titus
Syrian Cannibal Rebel Abu Sakkar Says "It's All Right - I didn't Inhale" 0
Titus 05.07.13 6:58am
Titus
'Pee-pee'ing Tom caught admiring his reflection. 4
Lindy Moone 05.07.13 6:39am
Arthur
Brotherhood of Man announce 'Save all my kisses for me' Egyptian tour dates.

Women and girls welcome. Tahrir square to get specacular firework, green laser and helicopter finale...

0
Sheepback 05.07.13 12:06am
Sheepback
Man who kept picking up brunettes complains he didn't get a fair crack

No more please...

13
Not Amused 04.07.13 11:43pm
Boutros
Procrastrination Society's AGM postponed again 7
blacklesbianandproudofit 04.07.13 11:07pm
Titus
Bad day for khat and mouse inventor 1
Midfield Diamond 04.07.13 10:05pm
nickb
Isle of Wight abandons betamax. 2
sredni vashta 04.07.13 8:47pm
sredni vashta
Aled Jones 'too dull' to promote organ donor scheme in Wales

Read the original sub by Jesus H...

4
custard cream 04.07.13 6:54pm
Jesus H