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Cigarettes to taste like Big Daddy's Nappy says Brussels

All cigarettes to taste like Big Daddy’s nappy says Brussels Euro MPs last night voted in favour of tight new smoking controls which will eventually mean that all cigarettes must be flavoured with...

0
Rusty M 14.10.13 3:34am
Rusty M
Parents told: Don't send all CAPS email to your children 0
Dumbnews 14.10.13 1:14am
Dumbnews
See how they light your way tonight - sings Putin

Since the announcement of the longest torch relay in Olympic history, some 65000km across Russia and some places claimed as Russian, such as outer space, further details have emerged of the torch and...

8
Squudge 13.10.13 8:55pm
GrumpyCat
The Daily Mail 'Snob of Britain' Awards set for early 2014

Post removed for a jolly good re-write...

2
Jesus H 13.10.13 8:16pm
Titus
Winner of Bank sponsored Marathon was running from collectors 0
Dumbnews 13.10.13 6:39pm
Dumbnews
National Trust launches 'heritage evictions'

The National Trust is to open its evictions of its tenants to the public. 'The general public will be able to visit what we are calling heritage evictions of our tenants.' said a spokeswoman....

1
roybland 13.10.13 5:57pm
MagicMike
Call for a ban on the words 'Will Young' in schools due to negative conotations.

When confronted by Newsbiscuit Education Secretary Michael Gove said he would issue a full statement in the morning as he was currently feeling a bit queer. 'Since it's Sunday I'm at home smoking...

0
MADJEZ 13.10.13 5:07pm
MADJEZ
I invented my own nickname, admits Ed ‘Ten Inch’ Holmes 0
TobiasBV 13.10.13 4:36pm
TobiasBV
New Labour policies to be generated by playing Chinese whispers

Ed Miliband has stated publicly that in the next general election, all of Labour's political policies will be generated by playing the game 'Chinese whispers'. The idea comes from a sense that the...

0
TobiasBV 13.10.13 4:13pm
TobiasBV
Man trying to figure out what 'twerk' means finally gets jist 3
Idiot 13.10.13 4:02pm
Titus
Light aircraft passenger launches 'Talk Like a Pilot Day'. 0
Boutros 13.10.13 4:01pm
Boutros
Met office issues severe puddle warning

Alert level raised to Cassandra...

0
Ian 13.10.13 1:17pm
Ian
Man in Costa Coffee queue grows beard 0
medici2471 13.10.13 12:24pm
medici2471
National Trust launches 'heritage evictions' 0
roybland 13.10.13 10:45am
roybland
Cuadrilla denied licence for test drilling into Eric Pickles.

Experts believe oil deposits could supply an area the size of Wales for up to 42 days...

1
deskpilot3 13.10.13 10:29am
godly1966
Generous vulture has a bone to pick with friends. 0
bonjonelson 13.10.13 10:24am
bonjonelson
Italians Pass New Law to Make Drowning IIlegal 0
Titus 13.10.13 9:23am
Titus
Jehovah’s witnesses attempt to proselytize god

God almighty, the famously self-employed inventor and property mogul, has revealed that a series of Jehovah’s witnesses arriving at his office for their ultimate holy judgement have attempted to...

2
TobiasBV 13.10.13 9:15am
Titus
Controversial funeral director "digging his own grave" 0
AReader 13.10.13 8:15am
AReader
Archaeologist realises his career is in ruins. 2
Maverick 13.10.13 7:10am
Sinnick
Archeology student moves into new digs

Cap doff to Maverick...

0
Smart Alex 13.10.13 6:41am
Smart Alex
Length of a piece of string settled as 56cm 3
pere floza 12.10.13 11:24pm
Idiot
Wikileaks latest; "Referee Association has whistle blower"

The Referee Association are trying to trace a whistle blowing member. They admit that the interviews aren't going well...

1
apepper 12.10.13 10:47pm
Titus
Large male washed up on Lothian beach

A large male was found beached on a west lothian beach by a member of the public early on Friday morning, Greggs workers arrived and made attempts at refloating the male with sausage rolls and...

0
derskine 12.10.13 10:07pm
derskine
PM pledges to freeze OAPs this winter as energy prices rise

“It has to be done” said Dave “there’s too many of them scrounging bastards in the world because of Labour.” “Old people have never done anything except be old. Society don’t owe them...

2
farmer giles 12.10.13 8:43pm
Squudge
Press propose toothless charter as alternative to parliaments inept one 0
FlashArry 12.10.13 8:42pm
FlashArry
Man will remove red-eye from his pics but draws the line at enhancement

Ambitious amateur photographer Karl Watson says he's taken the plunge and removed red-eye from his family holiday photographs but is refusing to enhance them. 'I've removed the wife's red-eye in the...

1
roybland 12.10.13 8:40pm
Boutros
Plumbing supplies business "going down the drain" 2
AReader 12.10.13 7:33pm
FOAD
Discovery of second "World's Best Dad" mug drives harsh revaluation at Christies 1
cinquecento 12.10.13 6:37pm
nickb
Fire Service reveals rise in nuisance ‘building on fire’ calls

The London Fire Brigade today announced an alarming rise in the number of nuisance calls it is receiving to deal with ‘fires’ in buildings, detracting from its core work of running small...

0
newsfelch 12.10.13 5:07pm
newsfelch