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Cameron Thought a ‘Selfie’ Was Something Else Entirely

Despite red faces at the Nelson Mandela memorial service, after Barack Obama, David Cameron and Helle Thorning-Schmidt took a ‘selfie’, it has emerged that the situation could have been far worse...

deceangli 11.12.13 4:39pm
Uruguay's food reserves exhausted; famine relief efforts immanent.

Munchies soon...

FOAD 11.12.13 4:24pm
God: Jesus Killed Off To Save Ratings

I’m sitting across from God in his sumptuous office on the eighteenth floor of a gleaming white condo off Rodeo Drive, in the “Golden Triangle” of L.A.’s Beverley Hills. “Hey, things the...

blokefromstoke 11.12.13 4:07pm
Uruguay to be renamed “U R high”. More, like, later man. 1
james_doc 11.12.13 4:01pm
custard cream
Francis named ‘Pope of the year’... 0
Tripod 11.12.13 3:47pm
New quarterly mag for modern deities - DQ - says Gods are increasingly stressed

With new gods being discovered all the time, being a deity has never been more stressful. But now a new quarterly magazine - DQ - aims to address this important, highly educated and powerful audience...

ronseal 11.12.13 3:42pm
Matt Prior still “confident of Ashes Victory”...

After being soundly thrashed by the Aussies in the first two tests, England players are being wheeled out to offer unconvincing displays of optimism. Matt Prior, England’s pugnacious wicketkeeper,...

Tripod 11.12.13 3:18pm
Two of Damien Hirst’s sharks ‘released back into the wild’... 0
Tripod 11.12.13 3:10pm
Mandela's legacy stolen in world's biggest ever heist

In a well-coordinated and executed crime involving over a hundred of the world's most unwanted men and women, Nelson Mandela's entire legacy has been stolen. The heist took place in broad daylight...

nedge 11.12.13 3:10pm
...nothing to see .. Move on.

Shouldnt sub after only a few ours sleep over the past few daysNo more soon...

Not Amused 11.12.13 2:08pm
Not Amused
Cameron to use 'fake' sign language interpreter to announce policies for deaf

After it emerged the sign language interpreter used for Nelson Mandela's memorial was a fake, David Cameron is said to be considering employing him for the next election. It is thought he will use...

James Pluside 11.12.13 1:56pm
Alzheimer research will not include memories of the Coalition years

By 2025 the UK will double its annual funding for dementia studies but only on the understanding that no attempt will be made to remind voters of the last three years of government. David Cameron has...

Wrenfoe 11.12.13 1:48pm
Church Of Atheism Deemed to Be A Genuine Religion

Manchester United Football Club now to seek similar status...

Titus 11.12.13 1:47pm
Finding sex burns far more calories than having sex, says scientist 4
Dumbnews 11.12.13 1:12pm
Midfield Diamond
Man Wins £10k Betting on Arrest of DJ Campbell

A Nottingham man is enjoying a £10,000 win after successfully predicting the six people arrested on suspicion of football match fixing., Malcolm Burnett put the £50 bet on at a Ladbrokes in the...

james_doc 11.12.13 12:54pm
Comics invested money with HMRC claims Jimmy Carr.

A TV investigation by the funny man reveals that some of his fellow comedians handed over money to the shady financial organisation also known as Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs. It is believed...

MADJEZ 11.12.13 11:23am
Hirst heist nominated for Turner Prize

The purloining of two Damien Hirst works of art has been roundly applauded by art critics the world over, prompting multiple nominations for the 2014 Turner Prize. The two pieces are believed to have...

spoole2112 11.12.13 11:13am
Denmark gets cold shoulder after cosying up to USA

Scandinavian partners have been throwing frosty looks in Denmark's direction lately, after she was caught flirting with America at a recent international function in South Africa., Photographers...

NewBiscuit 11.12.13 9:55am
Blogger turns dreary myopic rant upbeat with the words: here endeth the lecture

Blogger Dave Stenson was cock-a-hoop last night after ending his latest long earnest rant on an upbeat note that will leave readers desperate for more...

ronseal 11.12.13 9:12am
Newton to sue Alfonso Cuarón for theft of intellectual property over Gravity. 0
Ian Searle 11.12.13 8:23am
Ian Searle
Scan to detect potential signs of Jeremy Hunt in news stories available on NHS

This could massively reduce suffering...

Ian Searle 11.12.13 8:22am
Ian Searle
Nectar win F1 contract to supply double points for last race. 0
weematt 11.12.13 8:12am
"New statue for top of Nelson's column would be a monumental error" says Mayor 0
weematt 11.12.13 7:40am
Mayor of Toronto disappointed at being overlooked for Mandela's memorial 0
custard cream 10.12.13 10:54pm
custard cream
Sergeant Major dismissed as 'attention seeker' 0
nickb 10.12.13 10:42pm
Scottish border stolen

The future of the campaign for Scottish independence has been thrown into doubt following reports that the border between Scotland and England has been stolen. The theft, which has left locals,...

jamsieoconnor 10.12.13 9:27pm
The All New Jeni B
Russia endorses Sauron

The UK Foreign Office has advised all members of the Fellowship of the Ring to avoid visiting the land of Rudolf Nureyev. There are fears that the country's toughening laws on homosexuality will...

Wrenfoe 10.12.13 9:20pm
Obama dissuaded from Whitney Houston medley at last minute by Archbishop Tutu

Greatest news of all at 1...

blokefromstoke 10.12.13 9:07pm
Football player admits trying to influence matches by scoring goals 2
jp1885 10.12.13 8:39pm
Colleagues started to worry about liver surgeon when he brought onions to work. 0
dominic_mcg 10.12.13 8:09pm