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Government warns about the"catastrophic threat" of resistance to antipasta 2
Ian Searle 11.03.13 5:40pm
Squudge
Obesity Epidemic Blamed On Mirror Conspiracy

[center]http://www.kppmd.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/fat-man-looking-mirror.jpg[/center] The largely unregulated mirror industry is under enormous scrutiny this week following reports that one...

0
Kurt Degerstrom 11.03.13 5:01pm
Kurt Degerstrom
Builders are 'bricking it' as changes to planning laws mean more housebuilding

Vote, or it goes in the skip...

0
MikeF 11.03.13 4:28pm
MikeF
Wave of pensioner protests in new wheelie bin farce

Councillors up and down the country acted quickly to curb rumours that a national IT upgrade would lead to householders having up to 256 different wheelie bins on their property. The rumours sparked...

0
camz 11.03.13 3:55pm
camz
New Apprentice format slammed by viewers

Regular viewers of BBC1’s The Apprentice have given the new format a big thumbs down. “It’s bollocks” said Derek Baxter of Cradley Heath, Birmingham “instead of having lots of contestants,...

1
baron la croix 11.03.13 3:44pm
charlies_hat
England cricket team vote in sovereignty referendum

The England cricket team went to the polls today in a referendum to decide on their future as a dependency of the United Kingdom and head off a challenge for control over their future from South...

1
johnnydobbo 11.03.13 2:42pm
Midfield Diamond
Probiotic yoghurts to break the anitbiotic resistance 1
Not Amused 11.03.13 2:31pm
charlies_hat
Smokers hoping for ‘X-Men style’ superpowers following genetic mutation TV ads

The latest anti-smoking campaign has had an unforeseen side effect, with the message that smoking causes genetic mutations being misinterpreted by science fiction fans who have long fantasised about...

1
Vertically Challenged Giant 11.03.13 2:12pm
dvo4fun
Coalition to freeze backbenchers until 2015, leaked reports show. 0
Not Amused 11.03.13 1:22pm
Not Amused
Australian backpacker arrives in the UK, finds nothing to complain about

The Department of Health was called in to asses a recent arrival to the UK after reports of strange behaviour. Peter Hallett, 22, who arrived in London from Melbourne, Australia, last Tuesday was...

3
Scoby Watson 11.03.13 12:17pm
Flash! Aa-aaaa!
Disappointment for children and teachers as school boilers continue to work 1
Ian Searle 11.03.13 12:13pm
Flash! Aa-aaaa!
Isle of Wight features in leaked government defence cutbacks

According to a leaked govenment document the new "Queen Elizabeth" class aircraft carriers will be mothballed upon completion to save billions. The Isle of Wight is to be cut free instead and will be...

0
Flash! Aa-aaaa! 11.03.13 12:08pm
Flash! Aa-aaaa!
Britain's cricket team in trouble in New Zealand

Its a variation...

4
Rootin Tootin 11.03.13 10:42am
godly1966
Farage: 'Murdoch left me holding the baby'

In a heart-rending interview, Nigella Farage broke down claiming that media mogul Rupert Murdoch had 'taken advantage' of her and left the UKIP leader 'holding our baby'. Standing on the bridge at...

0
pinxit 11.03.13 10:40am
pinxit
Dead Student "Not Brilliant" Admits University

In a break from tradition, deceased student Michael Green was described by Loughborough University as "An average student with ordinary grades" when he passed away last Tuesday. This ends a 30 year...

6
deceangli 11.03.13 10:30am
Oxbridge
Thousands of Christenings null & void as church admits using the wrong font. 5
JETFAB 11.03.13 10:22am
Dick Everyman
North Korea wipes nitrous oxide off list of chemical weapons 2
Dick Everyman 11.03.13 10:11am
Dick Everyman
Pryce to claim that Huhne 'squeezed toothpaste from the middle' 4
Squudge 11.03.13 8:07am
Squudge
Labour to introduce Wealth & Health Stealth Tax in - The I'm Doing Fine, Fine

Labour's latest policy review has revealed that if elected in 2015, they will introduce stealth taxes on Wealth and Health. Known as the "I'm Doing Fine" fine, it aims to target those in the...

1
camz 11.03.13 8:02am
Squudge
50% of UK population does not fancy Kate Middleton, survey reveals

Thank you, Sandy...

0
Audible Minority 11.03.13 7:31am
Audible Minority
Palace staff thefts - man helping police with equirries 1
LensCap 11.03.13 12:56am
Slante Dangle
Overweight woman "will not discuss" Elephant in the womb

more later...

0
dvo4fun 11.03.13 12:20am
dvo4fun
It's an ill wind as Vicky Pryce "Geeky Greek" look takes Britain by storm 1
Drylaw 10.03.13 11:43pm
Titus
Fans eagerly await the launch of Hairbrush 2.0...

Hairbrush fans are gathering in San Francisco for the launch of Hairbrush 2.0 which, according to early reports, bristles with ‘exciting new features’. Kevin Schwartz, from The Tonsorial website,...

0
Tripod 10.03.13 10:12pm
Tripod
Comic-Sans font goads drivers through the sound barrier 0
Squudge 10.03.13 9:41pm
Squudge
pulled again

seeking instant gratification...

3
Squudge 10.03.13 9:38pm
Squudge
Oedipus's mother upset to receive offensive and inappropriate mother's day card 1
Smart Alex 10.03.13 9:36pm
Squudge
President Mugabe Claims Victrory In Falklands Vote.

Meanwhile, paranoia and suspicion have broken out regarding the identity of the "missing" voter after only 2,839 islanders vote to stay British...

0
Titus 10.03.13 9:10pm
Titus
Citizens let off from speeding fines after Ministry roadsign scrawl scandal

From our court correspondent Ivor Smallworm., "This is a great day for justice and ordinary folk like me" said Lord Bradley Fatcat (57) outside the Court of Justice an 'Ting in Balham, East London...

2
Flash! Aa-aaaa! 10.03.13 8:54pm
Flash! Aa-aaaa!
Tesco asks about new contamination scare; 'What burgers have tortoise'? 1
topfotogmw 10.03.13 8:51pm
deskpilot3