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Schoolboy Claims Game Of 'It' Void As He "Wasn't Ready" 11
jampot 3 years

A school playground was plunged into confusion yesterday when a 7-year old boy demanded that a game of 'It' be restarted because he was not ready. David Metcalfe, a pupil at St Mary's School,...

Little Piggies 'structural deficit deniers' says Big Bad Wolf 0
pinxit 3 years
Wise Men 'groomed' Jesus claims expert 0
Mrblacker 3 years

The Three Wise Men who brought gold, Frankincense and Myrrh to the infant Jesus, were predatory paedophiles according to a biblical scholar. Dr Matthew McGrath from Oxford University says careful...

Frank Wisner suffers a stroke: Mubarak bereft of speech 1
Hunter F. Thompson 3 years

has cardiac arrest. Cheney's army surplus defilibrators, blocked by pro-Mubarak protests, arrive too late to save the washed-up Egyptian dictator's life. More soon...

German Telecomms Giant Siemens Announces New Rival To Apple Iphone 2
custard cream 3 years

The new phone will be a mini version of the iphone and will be known as the.. ilittler...

Osama Bin Laden to revolutionise Islam 3
4ty2 3 years

following the observation of a single man burning to death in Tunisia starting fire spreading across the Arab nations whilst his suicide bombers have achieved nothing like it he released a video...

Uproar at BBC when early evening show goes out without Phil Tufnell appearing 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

The BBC has issued a formal apology to license fee payers after Monday's One Show went out without a feature by Phil Tufnell "We acknowledge the importance of Phil to perk every one up after a hard...

Home Office’s online map reveals the country’s “murder capital”... 0
Doylem 3 years

The government’s online map of crime hotspots has identified the nation’s murder capital. It’s not some bleak, gang-ridden, drug-fuelled estate in Moss Side or Middlesborough, as might be...

Childbirth Experience Now a Reality for Men 4
A Wagonload Of Monkeys 3 years

Mike Wilson, a 35 year old marketing manager from Islington believes that he is able to look his wife in the eye now after recreating the childbirth experience "It first came about", he explains,...

'Points of difference' as Geometry & Trigonometry Society hold protracted talks 0
pinxit 3 years
UK Economy Does 'The King's Speech'....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.As Double-Dip Osborne tries to hide the stutter...

Top Gear Offical Apology After Off Air Comments Ruled Deeply Unoffensive 3
thisisall1word 3 years

Top Gear have apologised in a written statement signed by all three presenters and producers after recieviong record number of complaints from viewers who heard supposed 'off air' comments made...

Jeremy Clarkson's Nobel Peace Prize win "justly deserved" 1
bonjonelson 3 years

It is not often that the people of this country can look up to one of it's subjects with such pride as they do now to a truly Great Briton - Jeremy Clarkson, TV presenter, free thinker and winner of...

John Terry to change name to Juan Torres for added mystique and pay rise 1
simonjmr 3 years
Meek 'not really sure what to do next' after finally inheriting the Earth 15
Oxbridge 3 years

Nearly two thousand years after it was originally prophesied during the Sermon on the Mount, it has now been officially confirmed that the Meek have inherited the Earth. Speculation has now been...

Rupert Murdoch accuses BBC of hacking phones. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

More later...

"I'll do anything" format used as BBC Oliver becomes Director of Govt Comms 0
simonjmr 3 years
Nintendo launch games console for the listless : The Ennui 2
simonjmr 3 years
Procrastinators society meeting postponed 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Report from Cairo: Mubarak loses his Sunni disposition. 0
rikkor 3 years
BDSM school of motoring whip learners in to shape 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Leather driving gloves optional...

Scoring goals: “It’s what strikers do”, acknowledges spud-faced striker... 0
Doylem 3 years

“As a striker, you’re paid to score goals”, said Wayne Rooney, in an unguarded moment, as he played with his thumbs. “Scoring goals is what a striker is paid to do. You’re not really happy...

"Moses" Cameron charges £300 per flight from egypt 0
Rowly 3 years

At least they are coming straight back to the "Promised Land", they could be wandering around for 40 years though, waiting for the promises to be fulfilled...

Pharaoh Mubarak wont stand down till his Tomb is built 0
Rowly 3 years
New ‘Kindling’ ebook reader lets customers download books and burn them... 7
Doylem 3 years

At the launch of the Kindling, Jeff Bezos said: “Book-burning is a fine and honourable tradition that’s largely gone out of fashion since the end of the Third Reich, and we think its time has...

MoD scraps Nimrods by mistake 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

'I was asked what we should do about Nimrods,' explained the head of the MoD, Clive Blithering-Foole. 'I was fed up with being asked about them, so I said "No more Nimrods crap!" Unfortunately I was...

Celebs who haven't been in the news for years claim their phones were tapped 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Loads of celebs that everyone thought were dead have suddenly claimed their phones were tapped., 'My phone was definitely tapped says fantastically amusing legendary comic Jim Davidson who is...

Nick Clegg denies he finishes work at 3 pm. 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

'That's rubbish!' he said. 'It's 12 o'clock max - 11 if I can get away with it. Half the time I dont bother coming in at all - I just give Vince some barmy idea and let him take the flak so no-one...

George Alagiah to be new Egyptian president 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

'He's the perfect candidate,' said a representative of the demonstrators. He's got an Egyptian-sounding name, and he's the only one here knows what's going on.'...

CoE launches fully Papalless online service 0
simonjmr 3 years