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Daily Mail celebrates greatest doublethink yet. 3
aug24 3 years

Editors, journalists and staff at the Daily Mail were celebrating today, as Editor-in-chief Paul Dacre showed off the quality of doublethink now available at the paper. "Simultaneously calling for...

Cider visors: “The new beer goggles” 0
beau-jolly 3 years

The difference between a dog and a fox? 7 pints. Oh, how we laughed all those years ago...

Paolo Di Canio blames ex QPR striker for defeat of Fascism in Swindon. 0
rebel not taken 3 years

Swindon Town manager Paolo Di Canio has launched a scathing political attack on centre forward Leon Clarke after their Carling Cup defeat by Southampton. The striker, who was recently 'released' by...

The Future's Orange All Right For Dickinson As 'Duke' Signs Real Deal 0
Duff 3 years

Antiques expert and ex-con, David (The Duke) Dickinson, has signed a lucrative sponsorship deal and and is to become the new face of creosote manufacturer, Ronseal, in a soon to be rolled-out...

Gaddafi caught by charity volunteer with clipboard 3
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years

Reports just in from Tripoli suggest that fugitive warlord, and occasional drag queen, Colonel Gaddafi has finally been apprehended. It seems that a volunteer for a well known charity trapped Gaddafi...

Manufacturers ready production lines for 59W lightbulbs 2
bonjonelson 3 years
Sweet smell of success for Portaloo campaigners 3
Gerontius 3 years

A Glastonbury Portaloo toilet cabin thought to have been used by some of the world’s leading rock stars has been saved from demolition following a successful on-line campaign by public toilet...

Mikel Arteta manages to dot the I and cross 2 T's by 11.00pm deadline 0
grottymonty 3 years

The transfer of Mikel Arteta from Everton to Arsenal was on a knife edge right up to the 11.00pm deadline. "The clubs had agreed a fee, the agents bungs were paid, the players net salary and image...

National Union of Moths to strike over 60w lightbulb cuts. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Crouchy and Woody to revive old nightclub act in Stoke-on-Trent 0
Drylaw 3 years
LSE to offer degree course in Greekonomics. 0
Griffin 3 years
Concerns over Carbon Offsetting as forest envelops Brixton 3
gaijintendo 3 years

It is thought an area the size of Wales is turning into forest every three days...

Inquiry called for after near riot nearly breaks out at Notting Hill festival 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Wooton Basset florists and hearse hire companies face uncertain future 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Anthropologist makes contact with last surviving member of Friendster 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Woman who killed over Italian sandwich found to be suffering from ‘Panini Envy' 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Hurricane predicted as kids return to school and parents let out sigh of relief 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Unfrozen Libya cash to be used immediately, do not refreeze 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years

More soon?...

Gender pay-gap as high as 10 pairs of Jimmy Choo and a Gucci belt says watchdog 0
antharrison 3 years
World's top-paid CEOs pledge to cut acronyms and buzzwords by 10% 0
Dumbnews 3 years
UK's summer 'coolest since 1993', say style gurus 4
rickwestwell 3 years

Britain's fashionistas have given a cautious 'thumbs up' to the possibility of a return to growth in the nation's cool index. Following several years of modish depression, the 'green shorts of...

Phone hack enquiry covered up over risk of discovering D. Kelly's phone records 0
4ty2 3 years

With the phone hacking going back to the murder of Wells and Chapman and Dowler in 2002 it was feared that the public became aware that by 2003, the time that David Kelly went missing, the phone...

ISS Crew To Stage Hide-And-Seek Tournament 1
Tourmaline 3 years

The crew of the International Space Station will take part in a hide-and-seek tournament on 9 September, national space agencies have confirmed. Following the decision to delay the return of three...

RAF to deliver bags of cash to Libya. Lord Archer offers logistical experience. 0
dvo4fun 3 years

More bungs soon...

Legal news latest. More travellers will have to travel more soon. 0
dvo4fun 3 years

More soon. Anybody seen my coat?...

New outsourced social media service launched for the digitally diffident 1
ronseal 3 years

Self effacing people who don't take themselves too seriously are being marginalised in the new aggressively shallow digital economy, says a report from Convenient Research. [Ohh bollocks, I'll come...

Passive-Aggressive Society of Shanklin to close after 75 resentful years 10
JohnA 3 years

Residents of the Isle of Wight's leading geriatric-oriented community were in shock after the local Passive-Aggressive Society announced it was to disband. "Well it certainly wasn't my fault", said...

Queen's food taster dead after Prince of Wales omelet. 1
Curbie Firetank 3 years

After three months in the job, veteran food taster to the Queen, Sir Digby St John Filigree-Gresham passed away painfully yesterday after the tasting of a mushroom omelet. The omelet had been...

Red faces in Whitehall as Al-Megrahi mistakenly renamed "Royal Abdelbaset". 0
Le Creuset Fiend 3 years
Saadi Gaddafi's surrender hijacked by last-minute Spurs bid 0
exigo 3 years