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Brown Girl In The Ring voted coprophiles' favourite song: "Show me your motion" 0
sydalg 10.03.14 9:31am
sydalg
Crass investigators say they just couldn't give a monkey's

More soon, if they can be bothered...

0
timyarby 10.03.14 9:19am
timyarby
Hosepipe ban in Somerset levels as sun appears for 2nd consecutive day 1
irreverendJ 10.03.14 9:04am
Titus
Man offends right-thinking public with clumsy attempt at satire 17
Electrelane 10.03.14 8:51am
Titus
Relatives fear worst as giant Toblerone found in South China sea 1
blacklesbianandproudofit 10.03.14 8:50am
sydalg
STEM funding to be extended to Satirists

Following a spate of high profile online debates between satirists the government has decided to extend STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) funding to include Satirists. The new...

2
throngsman 10.03.14 8:45am
Squudge
Eric Pickles to be next UN Peace Envoy

Eric Pickles, the larger than life MP, has been nominated to replace Tony Blair as UN Middle East Peace Envoy. Mr Blair is expected to stand down from the post soon, at a time to be advised by his...

3
throngsman 10.03.14 8:33am
Titus
FA publish North Wilts Junior Under 8 Opta statistics

The first fruits of the FA Commission set up to revitalise English football were in evidence today as the results of the Opta statistics for the North Wilts Junior League’s Under 8 division were...

0
blacklesbianandproudofit 10.03.14 8:03am
blacklesbianandproudofit
Government to cancel 'at least one battleship galactica'

The Prime Minister today confirmed that at least one of the soon to be proposed battleships Galactic would not be built. 'Frankly we don't have the technology, neither are due until the 24th Century...

2
throngsman 10.03.14 6:56am
deceangli
Physicist discovers new way to accelerate time, alchohol 0
Dumbnews 10.03.14 5:28am
Dumbnews
Ukraine Para-Olympic Team Denied Entry After Radioactivity Concerns

The team from Chernobyl were particularly disappointed as they had been training hard for months beforehand...

0
Guillermo De Snookio 09.03.14 11:33pm
Guillermo De Snookio
Mortal Kombat drug causes fatality 0
Bigglesworth 09.03.14 10:32pm
Bigglesworth
Somerset overwhelmed by a flood of tourists now the floods have gone

More coming soon...

0
vulture1 09.03.14 9:56pm
vulture1
More Extreme Weather says Met office as sun actually comes out .

The newspapers today have revealed the stunning news that today was the warmest day since the beginning of winter. Despite the eons long tradition that the weather gets warmer as winter ends news...

0
sillybugger 09.03.14 9:53pm
sillybugger
Glagow Health Food Shop To Sell Deep-Fried Lettuce and Tomatoes-In-Batter 0
Titus 09.03.14 8:56pm
Titus
Teachers give themselves good grades

“They’ll be bankers in no time” says Gove...

0
farmer giles 09.03.14 6:53pm
farmer giles
Record results in new teacher exams

Tests in numeracy and literacy for recently qualified teachers have shown the best results since records began in 2013. While Education Secretary Michael Gove has taken the results as evidence of...

0
Andy Gilder 09.03.14 5:12pm
Andy Gilder
Undertaker who dug wrong-sized hole ‘made a grave mistake’

Not only did the coffin not fit, but the dead person had requested to be cremated. “In the end, the body was sent to a pet food factory and no-one knew any different” revealed now-deceased...

0
farmer giles 09.03.14 4:03pm
farmer giles
Outbreaks of pleasantry as Southern England sizzles

The mood of the entire Southern half of England appears to have undergone a rare, although what's believed to be only a temporary metamorphosis today, as unprecedented numbers of people have been...

0
Duff 09.03.14 3:14pm
Duff
TV Licence Dodgers May Be Forced To Watch Ant and Dec

A cross party committee has concluded that people who dodge paying for their TV Licence might actually be poor. 'Although fining the poor does seem unfair, that's how we operate in this country,'...

6
throngsman 09.03.14 2:10pm
deceangli
Ann Widdicombe accepts new role as ‘face of Swarfega’... 0
Tripod 09.03.14 1:27pm
Tripod
French scientists discover new strain of dementia, nouvelle vague 0
sydalg 09.03.14 1:17pm
sydalg
Putin: "Isle of White is Russia Now" 0
Adrian Bamforth 09.03.14 1:16pm
Adrian Bamforth
Autocues Become Self Aware and Take Over BBC

It has been revealed that the decision to close down BBC3 was not made by Director-General Tony Hall, but by BBC 1 autocues which have developed consciousness. It is thought that the execution of...

8
deceangli 09.03.14 1:12pm
throngsman
Dyslexic songwriter shaves horse's mane, rides through desert 2
sydalg 09.03.14 11:43am
GingerClive
Man practising Tai-chi is run over by milk float

"It seemed like I was seeing everything in slow motion" said one witness, "but then I realised it was in slow motion."...

5
blacklesbianandproudofit 09.03.14 11:26am
Tripod
Russia has miscalculated, in its maths exam says Gove 0
Bigglesworth 09.03.14 10:32am
Bigglesworth
Islamic school takeover bid was attack-helicopter parenting 0
Bigglesworth 09.03.14 9:17am
Bigglesworth
Coop directors remuneration proportional to size of hole dug the previous year

Lots more soon...

0
Not Amused 09.03.14 8:22am
Not Amused
London to Impose Sanctions on Russian Oligarchs

Boris Johnson in association with TFL has today put in place regulations to prevent Russian Oligarchs getting Oyster Cards or using cycle lanes. Traffic Wardens will be able to impose on the spot...

0
Guillermo De Snookio 09.03.14 8:19am
Guillermo De Snookio