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“Let’s salute the roast beef of Old England”, says Flat Earth guy...

Kevin Arnott, Interim President of the Flat Earth Society, Hemel Hempstead Chapter, has added his reedy voice to the clamour of complaints about horse-meat in ready meals. “Traces of horse-meat...

5
Tripod 11.02.13 11:10am
Tripod
Horse abattoir - Findus in yellow pages 0
lane-avenger 11.02.13 11:08am
lane-avenger
Rescuers searching for missing fisherman find canoe

Despite continuing efforts to locate him, Bridlington Coastguard say they have yet to find any trace of local fisherman Tony Marshall, missing since Sunday after he failed to return home from a...

0
Idiot 11.02.13 11:02am
Idiot
Welsh singer stabs love cheat girlfriend, sings about it

The prosecution has opened its case in the trial at Cardiff Crown Court of Thomas Jones for the murder by repeated stabbing of his former girlfriend Delilah Lloyd-Thomas. Jones, 72, has pleaded...

10
Oxbridge 11.02.13 10:52am
topfotogmw
Man’s advice to gays regarding marriage: Don’t do it!

“Everything changed for me after the wedding and setting up home”, recalls Mariusz Singleton. “Until we went through our nuptials our lives were satisfactory, I mean we had the same run of the...

6
topfotogmw 11.02.13 10:35am
topfotogmw
Young Mum retaliates against urban foxes

The recent attack by an urban fox on a baby has given an enterprising new mother an idea to start a new business. Bored stupid being at home all day with her new baby, Linsi Kingston was initially...

0
rogerg 11.02.13 10:26am
rogerg
Owen Patterson insists beef is safe, force feeds John Gummer with Big Mac. 0
wallster 11.02.13 10:02am
wallster
Scandinavians found to be 100% Norse

Or is that a bit stupid?...

0
Rootin Tootin 11.02.13 9:57am
Rootin Tootin
Greggs withdraws Jumbo sausage rolls.

Sorry its the Elephant in the room...

0
godly1966 11.02.13 9:51am
godly1966
Q&As

What does MP3 stand for? Sir,, ‘M’ and ‘P’ are the thirteenth and fourteenth letters in the English alphabet, respectively, whilst ‘C’ is the third letter. Thus, MP3 actually stands for...

1
Mik Bulk 11.02.13 9:20am
Username
Countdown clock to go Digital

After the recent controversy caused by switching the scoreboards on their show from an LCD display to monitors, the producers of long-running quiz show and current 'Deal or No Deal' lead-in...

0
WatcherMark 11.02.13 2:10am
WatcherMark
Nick Clegg admits using a stunt double for shafting public

After his stunt double was caught smoking in public last week, Nick Clegg has been forced to admit he uses an actor, Malcolm, to deliver damning news to the public and perform other deeds which may...

5
kga6 11.02.13 1:04am
dvo4fun
Urban fox found to contain 2.9% baby

I'll get my coat...

2
sponge finger 11.02.13 12:54am
Squudge
Eddie Redmayne sick with Norovirus

Wins Barfta...

1
topfotogmw 11.02.13 12:53am
Squudge
Apathetic astrophysicist discovers 'Doesn't Matter'. 16
wallster 11.02.13 12:03am
nickb
Hamster wheel from Newsbiscuit server found discarded in wheelie bin 2
Squudge 10.02.13 10:59pm
Squudge
Chinese celebrate the Year of the Piers Morgan

We have to wait until 2019 for the Year of the Jeremy Clarkson...

1
quango 10.02.13 10:57pm
Squudge
Jimmy Saville accusations spreading to the US.

Following news of child abuse by former BBC DJ Jimmy Saville - literally hundreds of allegations have flooded in to both the Met Police and the BBC. Earlier this week it was revealed that Sooty and...

3
edoode 10.02.13 9:23pm
edoode
Chinese only just celebrating new year

I'd never realised that time zones were so far apart (gets coat)...

0
Smart Alex 10.02.13 9:08pm
Smart Alex
Bloke walks into a supermarket and asks 'why the long face' ? 0
Mandy Lifeboat 10.02.13 8:52pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Horsemeat row "Gift that keeps on giving" says NewsBiscuit spokesman 1
Drylaw 10.02.13 8:47pm
sponge finger
Dog leads the way!

A local dog has led the way. The proud pooch has successfully guided the stricken village of Yamy out of disfunction by leading the way. Yamy in Blomsphere has suffered badly these last several...

0
Mik Bulk 10.02.13 8:43pm
Mik Bulk
Changing Of The Guard 'disappointing' as army holds charity non-uniform day 0
Smart Alex 10.02.13 8:22pm
Smart Alex
Man who upset Mafia shocked that his bed contains 29% horse 0
Smart Alex 10.02.13 8:05pm
Smart Alex
Pet survey - 9 out of 10 cats "Not bothered" about Whiskas ingredients 0
Drylaw 10.02.13 8:04pm
Drylaw
Stretch-Limo found to be 29% Hearse. 3
riesler 10.02.13 12:18pm
topfotogmw
Q&As

Whatever happened to the TV host Matthew Kelly? Sir,, Matthew Erasmus Kelly began his glittering career with West Combine Television in 1976. He was the popular face of such shows as [i]The Duck...

4
Mik Bulk 10.02.13 12:17pm
Mik Bulk
Fury at food contamination; "guilty party should be cow-whipped"

More to follow...

0
apepper 10.02.13 12:06pm
apepper
Change in inheritance tax leads to surge in murder rate

The UK murder rate has tripled since the government announced an increase in inheritance tax after 2015. "It makes sense.", said independent financial advisor Masher Wilkins, "Murdering someone is a...

0
apepper 10.02.13 12:05pm
apepper
Charlie didn't bite finger, fox sought as new evidence emerges. 0
MADJEZ 10.02.13 11:59am
MADJEZ