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Met Office to introduce "Riot Forecasts". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years

High pressure areas moving in from the south resulting in very high temperatures in some shops. Areas of high trouble joined by isoloots...

Its amazing how police do nothing to these looters especially 0
guffaw 3 years

when they are politicians, policemen, businessmen and bankers...

Chiswick vigilantes to defend Turnham Green. 1
rebel not taken 3 years

Reports are coming in from Chiswick that a band of rowdy yoga mums have looted the artisan bakery and made off with all the walnut and sun blushed tomato bread. The angry mob, wearing pink pashminas...

IoW launch e-petition to bring back Transportation 0
Shaddick_Spofforth 3 years
Home Secretary Returns After London Violence 0
victimms 3 years

Theresa May admits to starting it...

Police blame middle-class infiltrators as Bang & Olufsen store looted. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Rohan and Laura Ashley to beef up security...

Rioters paid to help with Swindon town centre regeneration 0
victimms 3 years

Council officials agree on course of action...

New middle class proverb: The weak police oppresseth uths 0
ronseal 3 years
Mobile phone technology blamed for riots 1
Screenie 3 years

as lack of phone boxes leaves Clark Kent powerless...

Riots confirm all my pre-conceived notions, says newspaper pundit. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Peaceful leafy Ealing 0
simonjmr 3 years
Libya and Syria outsource riots and looting to the Uk 0
simonjmr 3 years
BBC concerned riots make Eastenders look 'light-hearted' 0
3 years
Oh shit, I agree with the Daily Mail, says everyone 1
Oxbridge 3 years
E17 engulfed in flames - revenge at last for "Stay Another Day" 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Jeremy Kyle called in to quash riots 0
Christopher Frost 3 years
Batman seconded to Met as rioting continues 0
simjel 3 years

The Metropolitan police have announced that the crime fighting Caped Crusader, known more commonly as "The Batman" has been seconded to them on loan from Gotham City, in an attempt to restore order...

Police grant sex toy amnesty in preparation for use of plastic bullets. 3
Milo Shame 3 years
Shanklin disturbances blamed on 4 fiftysomethings stealing pick'n'mix 0
simonjmr 3 years
Genuine London shoplifters livlihoods under threat from unlicensed looters 0
simonjmr 3 years
London fire crews to be further hampered by hosepipe ban 4
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years
Apple to compete with Blackberry through release of iRiot App 2
Screenie 3 years
Riot footage causes Nick Griffin's micropenis to become erect 0
Christopher Frost 3 years
Panic on the streets of London, Panic on the streets of Birmingham... 5
charlies_hat 3 years

Chris Moyles and DLT in hiding...

London MP's ask advice from countryside colleagues on how to build a moat. 0
Milo Shame 3 years
Pepys blogs while London burns 0
Christopher Frost 3 years
Burberry to give away a free brick with every hoodie 0
Screenie 3 years
Mayor takes broom out of own arse just in time to help with clean-up. 0
Milo Shame 3 years
'Can't-be-arsed' anarchist, 60, loots his own fridge 0
Crow 3 years

No more later...

COBRA committee authorises Police to use live cobras for crowd control. 0
bonjonelson 3 years

Here's hoping...