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Cameron announces plan to cut G8 to G6 0
Duncan Biscuit 2 years
Glastonbury crowds disappointed as Prince refuses to sing Sexy Mother Fucker 0
Ludicity 2 years
USA is invited to join League of nations who have been shafted for oil 5
simonjmr 2 years

Iraq and Afghanistan cordially invite the USA to attend the inaugural meeting after BP's Gulf of Mexico debacle. "Usually the USA is the guilty agressors in these meetings it just makes a nice...
Cameron: "the price British Petroleum is paying for Gulf activities - too high" 0
simonjmr 2 years
Estate agent peddled properties with an estimated street value of £5m 1
StoopyDeGunt 2 years

. RE-WRITE SOON...
Coalition welcomes study that says welfare cuts will reduce number of claimants 0
Duncan Biscuit 2 years
Scientists say voters will not feel pain of cuts in first 24 weeks of Coalition 0
Duncan Biscuit 2 years
American pedant does typo shock horrror 1
Scroat 2 years
French cannibal killer gets 30 years for choice of white wine sauce 0
edward hack 2 years

Rick Splein soon...
Fears of troop unrest in Afghanistan as Cameron sacks legendary leader Biggles 0
brownpaperreporter 2 years

After some fruity adjectives in his latest book "Biggles Stuffs a Politician", David Cameron recalled the legendary icon, Wing Commander Biggles, from Afghanistan and sacked him Cameron explained...
Roman brothel found in Hambleden. Clegg demands apology from Vatican. 0
Griffin 2 years
Coming soon to a chemist near you 1
hero2zero 2 years

Following recent developments in contraceptive cigarettes, pharmaceutical giant, Marlborough Medicines announce planned introduction of contraceptive nicotine patches for those giving up smoking and...
Owner of stall selling Donkey meat on Blackpool beach diagnosed with Assburgers 4
Iamthestig 2 years
Prince Charles declares: 'Wales is a monstrous carbuncle on the face of England' 1
PluckyMunky 2 years
BP 'No Oil Painting' 1
Doctor Moptop 2 years

BP's woes increased this week as its long-term sponsorship of The Arts came under attack. The press opening of the BP Portrait Awards was gatecrashed by the Don't Panic collective who offered guests...
World Service Listeners ask for more Realism in British Dectective TV Dramas 0
Dun Dunkin 2 years

'British police all very gentle. When they question suspects why don't they use their electric baton or beat people on the soles of their feet or hang them arms behind back chicken style till they...
Staycation 2010 0
Iscariot 2 years

With overseas holidays being out of the reach of todays redundant call-centre staff, the lure of staycation is difficult to resist. Many, like their Victorian forebears, will be heading for the...
Tony Hayward to show world he is a complete and utter Cnut 2
Genghis Cohen 2 years

Beleaguered BP chief executive Tony Hayward is to take his company’s strategy for tackling the Gulf of Mexico spill into a new phase by sitting on the Florida coastline in a ceremonial throne and...
Local Man experiences SatNavisfaction 4
Golgo13 2 years

Local Man, Matthew Gratton, became the latest to feel the 21st century emotion of SatNavisfaction when his newly acquired Garmin Nuvi 265, which comes with a 3.5" touch screen and pre-loaded UK and...
Women's Institute amongst first to sign up for hose-pipe ban. 0
MightyBlair 2 years
Belgian cathartic offices raided, police 'feel much better' 0
QorbeQ 2 years
'So when do i get to snap his sword and cut off his buttons ?' asks C in C 0
Dun Dunkin 2 years

'I've always wanted to do that ever since i saw it in the movies' said the C in C after sacking a General...
Vatican decision avoids second German bombing in Coventry 0
Mrblacker 2 years

The first stage in the creation of the next English saint has been moved at the request on the Vatican. It had been planned to hold an open air Mass to celebrate the beatification of Cardinal John...
Austerity Extra-Tennis Players to play until they drop 0
Dun Dunkin 2 years

Tennis players will be required to keep playing until one of them breaks down physically or mentally in order to provide value for money during the financial crisis. Prize handouts will be shrunk by...
First vuvuzela concerto premiers to muted applause. 0
MightyBlair 2 years
Research shows there is no viable reason for The Beddingfields. 0
MightyBlair 2 years
B&Q staff to train SAS troops on advanced counter-interrogation techniques 0
AdrianJ 2 years

Interrogator: "Tell me where your base is located?", Interrogatee: "Errrdunnosorry. See, I only work here on the weekends.", Interrogator: "To which unit do you belong?", Interrogatee: "Have you...
Ridley Scott to direct Siege of Gaza: The Movie 0
la maga 2 years

The siege of Gaza is to get the Hollywood treatment this autumn, with Russell Crowe almost guaranteed the starring role since the film will be directed by Ridley Scott. The fictionalised account of...
Henman and Murray agree to share personalities 0
PluckyMunky 2 years

'There's not a lot to go round', said a friend of both...
UFO aliens leave Earth after failure of human cross-breeding programme 6
Oxbridge 2 years

Aliens from the planet Gthargadrax in the Andromeda galaxy 2.5 million light years from Earth have admitted defeat in their attempts to interact with and breed from human beings. The news came after...