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Fat bloke admits, “I eat too much”. 1
theboot 3 years

Twenty-five stone John Whittaker has finally discovered the source of his life-long weight gain that has had doctors puzzled for two decades. “It’s a real relief to finally get to the bottom of...

Mugged student gutted, 'bastards stole all the stuff I'd just looted' 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Chelsea’s rivals send Torres best wishes for speedy recovery from injury 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Rupert Murdoch behind riots 1
cuckoowatoo 3 years

Today, it can be exclusively revealed that Rupert Murdoch is the man behind the riots which have taken place across England in the last week. In an ironic twist to the scandal it has been exposed...

Oldsters turn feral after Alco Werthers mixup 0
Drylaw 3 years

"I could have told them there would be trouble.and there was." So said despondent care home manager Ron Parks yesterday as he picked his way over a pile of broken glass, smashed easy chairs and...

Closure of NoTW forces Indian team to make it more obvious they've taken a bung 0
charlies_hat 3 years
David Cameron promises to stop the looting just needs the 635 MP's 0
als-jazz-era 3 years
Large Indian buffet available at Edgbaston ... 4
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Cameron and Boris to appear on Pointless 0
Warrenpeace 3 years

David Cameron and Boris Johnson are to appear as a team on the BBC Show POINTLESS to test the limits of their pointless knowledge., A spokesman for No 10 said "Both are reputed to be skilled in the...

Tests show that Gavin from Autoglass's accent can crack a windscreen 0
greg various 3 years

from two streets away...

Novelty microphones getting out of hand say media watchers 0
virtuallywill 3 years

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/358-boris-croydon.jpg...

Coca Cola to launch Arab Spring and British Summer brands 0
simonjmr 3 years

"Democracy is coming. democracy is coming. Arab Spring is the real thing" "I'd like to teach to Brits to loot and riot in perfect disharmony. English Summer it's the real thing" More soon...

“Thank F*ck for that!” says Met riot officer after hearing of Boris’ return. 5
Corrigan 3 years

Riot Police in London are breathing a collective sigh of relief today after receiving word of the return to UK of Mayor of London Boris Johnson and Prime Minister David Cameron. Territorial Support...

Candle shops targeted as riots turn into vigils 0
Fake Vegetarian 3 years
Looters apologise to communities for causing two days of visits by politicians 6
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Senior looters have returned early from their summer riots to apologise to local communities across England for unleashing a wave of visits by annoying, insincere politicians. There was widespread...

Parliament and Jeremy Kyle show recalled 0
Greysetter 3 years

In an emergency move, Jeremy Kyle has been rescheduled for August., Not only has his absence caused rooters to stop watching television, but it is hoped that his depth of understanding in social...

Rioting in the rain? We're not THAT thick, say Mancunians 0
Oxbridge 3 years
Police intelligence learns criminals planning to assemble in Westminster today 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
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Duncan Biscuit 3 years
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Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Tottenham looter was Old Etonian toff. 0
rebel not taken 3 years

Two public school boys who took part in widespread looting have told friends on Facebook that the rioting was "Awesome" and have boasted about "getting freebies from rich tossers." The posh yobs,...

New Mr Men launched for 40th Anniversary 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

Marking the anniversary and also the change in economical and cultural styles the Mr Men launched a new range Mr Benefit - never worked in his life and has claimed for any and everything, Mr Spam -...

Cheapskate e-book lit fans hail 70th anniversary of F. Scott Fitzgerald's death 7
Golgo13 3 years

December 21st will mark the 70th anniversary of the death of [i]Great Gatsby[/i] author F. Scott Fitzgerald, and trigger a bonanza for stingy literature fans everywhere, who admire his work, but...

News from Scotland Yard 0
arflaethel 3 years

The Met's Acting Commissioner, Tim Godwin, and his Senior Team Return to New Scotland Yard http://www.flickr.com/photos/rashbre/5619272559/ [url=http://www.flickr.com/photos/rashbre/5619272559/]img...

Norwegian tradgedies worsen - a-ha to reunite. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Police sirens to be replaced with a recording of Brian Blessed. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Stephen Fry to read young people The Riot Act 6
Ludicity 3 years

Every young person in Britain is to be issued with an audio book version of The Riot Act of 1715 read by the actor and writer Stephen Fry. The reading, described as ‘an act for preventing tumults...

Kaiser Chiefs in "we told you so "shocker 1
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Police deny ‘favouritism’ after minefield is laid around Chipping Norton. 0
Corrigan 3 years

Thames Valley Police have today denied resource favouritism and overreacting to recent events after officers were seen raising a perimeter fence, laying a minefield and digging a moat around the town...

Sixteen-year-old wins Scowling Teen of the Year Award 1
roybland 3 years

Blackpool schoolgirl Lucy Lusted (16) was last night voted Scowling Teen of the Year by teen mag Sulk.,  , Sulk's editor Belinda Bowles (18) said the judges were 'blown away by Lucy's superior...