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Men convicted in Lennon bomb plot 'didn't know he was already dead'. 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
New panic buying is loo roll! Environmental groups say, "grow dock leaves" 1
Claire 3 years

A rumour that workers in toilet roll factories are threatening strike action, has caused a wide spread case of panic buying of the soft soft soft toilet paper. One super market has confirmed that...

Snow White warned of dwarf shortage 1
rustytruss 3 years
William & Kate to appear on Escape to the Country 0
theumpire 3 years

. More soon...

Soldiers ready to replace any striking workers claims Government 3
Midfield Diamond 3 years

Following the Government’s announcement that Army and RAF service personnel are ready to perform the work of striking tanker drivers if necessary, it has been revealed that their training has also...

Supermarket designs PastyCan 2
GillsImp 3 years

A leading supermarket has designed a container to keep pasties hot. A spokesperson declined to comment when asked if storage of large amounts of pasties was safe...

Heston Blumenthal admits fish in petrol sauce was an accident waiting to happen. 0
godly1966 3 years
Birmingham Garages besieged as motorists mishear radio news about Stili Petrov 0
pinxit 3 years
Harrods reports sudden surge in Hamper purchases. More soon. 5
Al OPecia 3 years
Scotch eggs, fairy cakes and fizzy pop shortages as dyslexics go picnic buying. 2
wallster 3 years
Devon man in care after reading iTunes agreement 4
Boutros 3 years

A man from Devon who claims to have read the iTunes agreement before clicking Accept has been referred for psychiatric tests. Mr Colin Bray, who says he was just a bit bored and quite curious to see...

UK Currency To Become Worthless Once Prince Charles’ Face Is On It 3
UnoEye 3 years

A think-tank investigating the repercussions of the Queen’s demise have made the harrowing realisation that no one would touch money with Prince Charles’ face on. The announcement led to a...

Traffic Wardens Worried About Stealth Tax 0
GillsImp 3 years

More to follow...

OCD Elgin Platform worker asks: "Hmm... did I turn the gas off? 2
dvo4fun 3 years

more later...

No evidence of fool shortages 3
bonjonelson 3 years
Petrol strike fears cause millions to cancel Easter visits to in-laws 16
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Steve Miller Band reveal new rival group started by brother, Ed 2
Location 3 years

Steve Miller Band reveal new rival group started by brother, Ed...

Fatima, 30, celebrates Silver Wedding Anniversary with her grandchildren 3
cinquecento 3 years
Murdoch ‘tweets’ show vulnerable side of a table-thumping, power-crazed bastard 5
3 years

The hearts of the nation have been touched by the tweets of a media mogul, which reveal a softer side to an empire-building megalomaniac. Rupert Murdoch has preferred to stay in the shadows in the...

Queues as motorists try to return unneeded petrol 1
beau-jolly 3 years

We was had!...

UK on cusp of a panicdemic 0
simonjmr 3 years

"It pandamonium out there, we'll all remember the great fuel non shortage of 2012" said one on looker...

Beauty pageant organisers overwhelmed by response.... 3
grumblechops 3 years

[url=http://www.sabotagetimes.com/life/how-would-you-like-to-enter-miss-southampton/]What were they thinking?[/url]...

UK on verge of panic shortage 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Lord Coe congratulates Cameron on Olympian proportions of recent cock-ups 0
weematt 3 years
Captain G. Mainwaring (Home Guard Ret'd.) appointed Government panic czar. 3
weematt 3 years

In a hastily convened press conference a somewhat flustered Prime Minister David Cameron announced the immediate appointment of war hero George Mainwaring as the first UK Panic Czar., "With all the...

Petrol strike fears cause millions to cancel Easter visits to in-laws 3
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

British Telecom have revealed a surge in phone calls cancelling Easter visits to in-laws, The calls are believed to be linked to fears of a petrol strike giving the ideal opportunity to wriggle out...

'Role play' continues at Scotland Yard over MI6 agent found, "locked in room" 0
theadministrator 3 years

Police continue to search for clues into the case of a former MI6 agent who was found locked in a medium sized room. Police remain confused over the case as evidence suggests the door was locked from...

Report warns girls as young as five forced into ballet and violin classes 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Man seen in tears outside his local Shell station 0
Tomfinger 3 years

as he was told to fill up whenever he was passing...

Total Wipeout to be replaced with cheaper version, Partial Wipeout. 0
Iscariot 3 years