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North Korea to join EU next year 2
Rick Bradford 3 years

The Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) will officially join the European Union on January 1 next year, according to a statement from the EU's Directorate of Expansion Rapporteurs. In the...

Car wash proprietor opens supermarket 4
antharrison 3 years

Although he always answered "If I wanted a f*cking car wash I'd go to a f*cking car wash" to the attendants hawking £5 mini-valets in his local Tesco car park, car wash owner John Askham wondered if...

Reading Out The Names Of Those Killed In Accidents 0
Awkward Facts 3 years

In a monthly ceremony organized by the United States Government to begin in October this year, on the 11th day of each month the United States Secretary of Transportation will stand outside 1200 New...

Statisticians Remember 81% 0
thisisall1word 3 years

succinct is the new funny., Although, this is sort of now after the even tell this one in a few months time and get an "ey?"...

Godot arrives 3
Oxbridge 3 years
Autistic Statisticians Remember 81% 3
thisisall1word 3 years
Germany set to abandon Grease according to BBC report 0
tedweasel 3 years

EXECUTIVES at Deutche Bank are urging Chancellor Angela Merkel to sever ties with the 1970's hit musical Grease claiming that it's upbeat tunes no longer reflect the spirit of the nation., Right...

Budget Time-Travel Operator Opens Timeport in 2011 3
TokyoTomato 3 years

Budget time-travel operator EasyTime has opened a new timeport in 2011. But while it may be good news for local businesses, the tourists from the future are frequently disappointed with its lack of...

Ten years on, we now know what celebrities were doing on the day of 9/11 3
ronseal 3 years

After three days of tireless interviewing the British media can now reveal the whereabouts of every single celebrity in London when they heard about the events in the New York. Celebrity policeman...

Insufferable UK Pedants' Mark 11/9 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Ricky Gervais Bombs At 9/11 Memorial Service 6
Textbook 3 years

Controversial comedian Ricky Gervais was a surprise choice to MC proceedings in New York for the tenth anniversary of the World Trade Centre attacks, but it is safe to say that he won't be asked back...

911 minutes silence deemed excessive, replaced with 60 seconds 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Except for Piers Morgan, who is actively encouraged to shut the fuck up for just over 15 hours...

10 yr anniversary of 9/11 marked with decimal rename of 0.81818181 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Pre-decimal pedant complains, "9/11, that was nearly 50p when I was a kid" 1
Ian Searle 3 years
Wallace Simpson and Gromit movie opens to mixed reaction at Venice Festival 8
nickb 3 years

Could a film successfully combine the hilarious animated antics of Britain's troubled royal family, and the poignant story of a lovesick cheese obsessed inventor and his dog? Directed by Dame...

UK perplexed as US remembers 9/11 two months & two day early. 0
Steve Wilson 3 years
Chanel 5 spice things up as incestuous gay enters big brother 5
spoole2112 3 years
Obama deeply concerned millions with Alzheimers have forgotten 9/11 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Unexpected twist in Fred West drama when he changes his name to John 0
Ian Searle 3 years

and opens a fish canning factory...

Romanians freed from campsite finally able to return to lay-by 0
Runestone Cowboy 3 years
Romanians rescued from 'inhuman' holiday in Bedfordshire 0
Runestone Cowboy 3 years
Will Ferell “Feral” 0
nickb 3 years
Walliams to attempt new record swim around Matt Lucas. 1
spoole2112 3 years

In his never ending quest to remain in the public eye, smug semi-aquatic failed TV funnyman David Walliams is planning his most ambitious swimathon yet. Walliams is to attempt to circumnavigate his...

Arthur Daley's wife develops Claustrophobia. Now nicknamed "Er Outdoors". 2
seymour totti 3 years
Due to number of ex-con contestants, ITV rename show "Red or Black and Blue?" 2
dominic_mcg 3 years
Minute’s silence ruined by Minute Waltz. 0
nickb 3 years

What was meant as a solemn tribute ended in musical chaos, when the minute’s silence honouring the dead of 9/11 was marred by sound engineers playing a tape of the Minute Waltz. Instead of the...

Rugby Refs New Scrumdown Orders:"Crouch,Hold,Engage,Collapse." 0
Drylaw 3 years
Paranormal Games will happen “ in people’s dreams” say organisers 0
nickb 3 years

This year’s paranormal games will avoid the nightmares of terrorist threat, expensive building projects and traffic gridlock by taking place in spectators’ dreams, according to a statement made...

Apple to replace entire product range with new smugness voucher. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years

Tim Cook, Apple's new CEO, today a radical new direction for the innovative technology company by replacing their electronic products with a voucher granting the bearer one unit of unbearable...

911 minute silence replaced with seconds copy & paste a glib message on Facebook 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Rememberance day considering following suit so as not to interfere with peoples shopping. More soon...