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Gravity Wins For Most Puns On Its Name In News Headlines

A "force" to be reckoned with...

2
Schoolboy 03.03.14 8:18pm
Ironduke
EU to Leave EU

In a surprise move the members of the EU have voted to leave the EU. The only EU country to vote against the move was the UK, which has a policy of opposing everything that France and Germany agree...

2
throngsman 03.03.14 8:14pm
Ironduke
Ikea customer who takes things literally panicked after passing irregular stool 0
Underconstruction 03.03.14 7:57pm
Underconstruction
King Cnut Blamed Parents for Lifetime of Bullying 0
deceangli 03.03.14 7:55pm
deceangli
Tragedy as Russia mistakes bedraggled UK paralympians for British invasion force 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 03.03.14 7:54pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Does Your Poo Look Funny? It’s Probably Cancer

If your poo looks unusual, you probably have colon cancer. Don’t start any long DIY projects. Persistent cough, lasting for more than 2 weeks? Lung cancer – that’s really bad. Heartburn for...

15
deceangli 03.03.14 7:45pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
New comedy series set on Death Row, Come Fry With Me 0
sydalg 03.03.14 7:41pm
sydalg
I would be nation's favourite summer wine if I was white, says Merlot 0
Underconstruction 03.03.14 7:34pm
Underconstruction
Pope confesses; "most of the bible was 'fan fiction'"

More to follow...

0
apepper 03.03.14 6:55pm
apepper
Putin assassination attempt thwarted after man dressed as bear is denied visa 0
Underconstruction 03.03.14 6:38pm
Underconstruction
Pistorius blames modern pentathlon dream for shooting

A vivid dream in which Para-olympic athlete Oscar Pistorius believed he required maximum points in the pistol shooting, to secure the gold medal in the modern-pentathlon event, may have led to the...

0
Underconstruction 03.03.14 6:31pm
Underconstruction
Mourinho accepts that title may be within his reach if it is 'cnut' 0
Underconstruction 03.03.14 6:18pm
Underconstruction
Leading scientist questions existence of God after man is inhuman to another man 0
Underconstruction 03.03.14 6:15pm
Underconstruction
As tensions escalate, Obama threatens closure of Moscow McDonalds.

No More Macs Soon...

0
Ironduke 03.03.14 6:06pm
Ironduke
Scots to Decommission Glaswegian Accent Before Independence

David Cameron has instructed the Scots to ‘decommission’ the Glaswegian accent before any further steps are taken on Scottish independence. “Whilst it isn’t exactly a WMD, the Glasgow accent...

4
deceangli 03.03.14 5:53pm
Gerontius
One Legged Man FInally Wins Arse Kicking Contest 2
Schoolboy 03.03.14 5:40pm
throngsman
Pistorius Defence 'a shot in the dark' lawyer claims

Headline only...

0
throngsman 03.03.14 5:37pm
throngsman
Jeremy Hunt trials new hi-tech ‘contactless’ NHS

Fed up with having to deal with lazy, feckless, inefficient and often sick NHS workers, the UK Health Secretary has introduced a trial of contactless healthcare which does away entirely with the need...

2
rogerg 03.03.14 5:29pm
Robert Koch
A Bird In The Hand Is Now Worth 2 Bitcoins 0
Schoolboy 03.03.14 5:22pm
Schoolboy
Lights out in 10 minutes, Says God 2
Schoolboy 03.03.14 5:03pm
Schoolboy
Reid between the lines

Following her successful stint as the familiar face across Britain’s breakfast tables for the past few years, Susanna Reid has decided to step out of the spotlight and spend her remaining years in...

0
irreverendJ 03.03.14 4:58pm
irreverendJ
UN concerned as GoCompare.com invades Southern Meerkovo

Alexander Orlov "reported to have defected to MoneySupermarket.com"...

0
AReader 03.03.14 4:56pm
AReader
Dr Fell still getting no likes on Facebook 0
sydalg 03.03.14 4:47pm
sydalg
Boy George denied England captaincy 'because he was no good at football'

In the next chapter of 'I'm a fading celebrity with a book launch coming up', Boy George has declared that he would have been a shoe-in to captain the England football team into at least two world...

2
NewBiscuit 03.03.14 4:45pm
Oxbridge
Appeal Launched After Man Sticks 2 Self-adhesive Postage Stamps Together 0
Schoolboy 03.03.14 4:30pm
Schoolboy
Libel Laws Administered by Incompetents, Says Evil Lawyer

A sadistic, evil, drug-addict lawyer, Charles Nyman of 18 Underheath Road, Maidstone, Kent, has stupidly claimed that all libel laws in the UK are created and enforced by "totally corrupt idiots who...

0
Schoolboy 03.03.14 4:21pm
Schoolboy
Sol Campbell denied England captaincy 'because he was a cnut' 0
Oxbridge 03.03.14 3:25pm
Oxbridge
Television finally eats itself after Gogglebox reviews an episode of Gogglebox

Watching you, watching us, watching them...

2
Ian Searle 03.03.14 3:14pm
Ian Searle
Disappointment as Grimshaw reveals hospital scan 'showed nothing serious' 0
custard cream 03.03.14 3:00pm
custard cream
Gravity's Oscars success inspires the silly 'saucerage'

Food giants Typhoo and Oxo have moved quickly to cash in on last night’s quintessentially British triumph at the Oscars. The iconic brands are pooling their resources to come up with a new...

0
Duff 03.03.14 2:11pm
Duff