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RAF in moustache shaving protest as derring-do budget slashed 0
cinquecento 3 years
XXX Olympiad to feature state-of-the-art water sports facilities 0
Golgo13 3 years
Sacked for being legless at work (re-post) 0
Marko 3 years

An Iranian terrorist was dismissed by bosses today for blowing his own legs off in a botched bomb job in Thailand. Cell managers dismissed Ballykissangel born Abdul ORielly as soon as they heard of...

Questions into length of Leverson Inquiry as 'Street Sweeper' gives evidence 2
Perks 3 years

As the Leverson inquiry enters it’s 23rd year, it has heard evidence from a street sweeper from Bideford. Ian Brownlow, has been telling the inquiry about his torment caused by an article in the ...

New dating site tackles disappointment by guaranteeing failure 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Fair Trade Cocaine and Heroin 2
Ironduke 3 years

just an idea, if anyone wants to run with it?...

Primary head admits licking lollipop lady 2
nickb 3 years

The General Teaching Council’s disciplinary body yesterday heard a head teacher, James Marks, 43, admitting that he licked lollipop lady June Craig, 41 a part time hairdresser. The evidence...

Ryan Air calendar cost more than advertised and didn't reach destination 2
ronseal 3 years
Delboy Throws His Three Rolex's Down The Drain.... 2
Jesse Bigg 3 years

."Too much of me, init?"...

Majority of C of E Clergy Object to Sex Before Marriage 5
Jesse Bigg 3 years

According to an opinion poll conducted by the 'Pulpit' magazine, a majority of Church of England clergy are totally against premarital sex, due to the hassle of re-arranging the altar plate just...

Suarez to apology to player he bit. Returns toe. 0
Hooch 3 years
Man found dead at vicarage ‘latest victim of extreme Cluedo craze’ 5
Gary Stanton 3 years

A man found dead at a vicarage near Bristol may be the latest victim of the extreme Cluedo craze sweeping Britain. The Revered John Green, a former barrister, was found dead late last night next to a...

Sex Dreams Involving Royal Family Members Up 80% on 2010 (REWRITE) 0
SimonJJames 3 years

A renewed public interest in the Royal Family was confirmed yesterday when a recent poll shows that the sex dreams of 2000 interviewed people were 80% more likely to involve Royalty or Royal themes...

Iranian assassin castigated by Imam for getting legless in Bangkok. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
Cure for depression hailed as patient pulls himself together and gets on with it 4
cinquecento 3 years
Appalled feminist theorist demands to have female vote removed 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

after watching ‘loose women.’ More soon...

Disillusioned Dog Suddenly Realises The Futility Of Fetch 9
SimonJJames 3 years

Clapham Common yesterday: Lucky, a spaniel / terrier cross, during his 7th retrieval of a well used and prized tennis suddenly stopped, sighed, looked at his owner disappointedly, walked to sit under...

But, on the bright side, Rangers score a hat trick of 'tickers' 0
dvo4fun 3 years

No more soon...

Tonto regrets loan to Rangers 5
JETFAB 3 years
Cameron declares war on cheap champagne 0
roybland 3 years
Obesity surgery to be rationed. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Banner-waving Greek protester accidentally discovers new equation. 9
Le Creuset Fiend 3 years

Amidst the scenes of carnage and mayhem in Athens, Greek protester Khristos Pagonis appears to have unwittingly solved one of the fundamental problems of modern physics. "I just wanted to show my...

Moody’s downgrades Standard & Poor’s. 5
malgor 3 years

Standard & Poor’s ratings rating has been downgraded by Moody’s in what commentators are calling the ‘inter-rating agencies rating stars war’. S&P’s ratings were previously 5-star...

its not right, but its ok.......... 1
arthurminnit 3 years

., ., ., ., ., says whitney houstons pathologist, as he pulls down his trousers. (stolen from someone else)...

Daniel Radcliffe’s tongue trickery ‘still not enough to make him sexy’ say women 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Rangers enter administration but get knocked out in qualifying round 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Ryan Air to charge extra for service by red hot stewardesses 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Sacked for being legless on the job 6
Marko 3 years

An Iranian terrorist bomber has been relieved of his duties for blowing his own legs off in a botched boom job today., Bosses at the Bankok terror cell sacked him immediately upon hearing of the...

Sean Penn's stand on Malvinas backed by Big Bird, Fozzy Bear and Pee Wee Herman 1
ronseal 3 years

Hollywood's Finest, a troop of crack actor/visionary/world leaders, has thrown its weight behind Sean Penn's campaign to return the Falkland Islands to indigenous Spanish colonialists who first...

Sweetener industry develop healthier "Lite fructose corn syrup" 0
Dumbnews 3 years