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Toddler shops own teenage mother after seeing CCTV footage of her looting 0
Spartan_Pig 3 years

A three year old girl from Greater Manchester has reported her 16 year old mother to police after seeing her 'named and shamed' as part of the Shop a Looter scheme set up in the wake of the recent...

Woman disfigured by chimp 'feels safer' after mandrill face transplant 13
3 years

A woman left disfigured by a violent chimp unveiled her new face last night. Keen to avoid any future attacks, doctors have replaced her face with one from a much more intimidating primate. 34...

Boris Johnson brings peace to London through the medium of dance. More soon. 7
dominic_mcg 3 years
CPS bring in Huggy Bear to translate for teen offenders. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
British Gas blamed for doorstep shortage. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
“Go-Go Gadget Lawsuit!” Google vs Microsoft fight over Inspector Gadget patents 0
DavidEllisKent 3 years

Inspector Gadget fans across the globe were shocked to their very (bionic) core today when Microsoft and Google announced they would be launching a bidding war for patents linked to the infinite...

Shooting in Tooting mooted as true root of looting. 4
wallster 3 years
Homeopathic jokes "just not strong enough". More soon. 5
Al OPecia 3 years
Missing US hypersonic aircraft found in Peckham flat. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Judges at 2011 Top Restaurant Awards consider the Om-Nom-Nominations. 0
wallster 3 years

Ok, I know, I'm a kid at heart...

Parliament Agrees to Let Rioters Investigate Themselves 0
lord_wingnut 3 years

UK's rioters are to set up a commission to investigate claims of alleged illegal behaviour in various cities recently. A parliamentary spokesperson indicated that such a move is only right and...

Kaiser Chiefs to release new single, 'I predict a lottery win' 18
Screenie 3 years
Baby's first words amongst items looted in the recent riots. 0
bonjonelson 3 years

A distraught young mother in Croydon has pleaded with the young rioters who stole her baby's first words to return them. Sharon McFlurry from New Addington was walking home with her young child...

Sham wedding pair forced to give back presents. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Fake "Newsbiscuit" web site found in China, the fake one has jokes 1
virtuallywill 3 years

more on here later...

UK Met Office to launch cutting edge nationwide 'riotcasts' 5
Gary Stanton 3 years

The Met Office in conjunction with people who do this kind of thing are to launch the first forecasts for riot conditions throughout the UK . Since the initial outbreak of violent disorder, experts...

Disappearance of hypersonic space plane not that surprising 0
Fake Vegetarian 3 years
Looter jailed for stealing complete works of Keats. Poetic justice, say police. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Police planning to check "What I did in the holidays" essays in September 7
greg various 3 years
Obama Says America Needs A President With Balls 0
Textbook 3 years

and subsequently announced that he will step aside to allow Hillary Clinton to run in 2012...

WI markets fall as Europe imposes a ban on short bread selling 0
button 3 years
Camp site attacked by polari bear 8
charlies_hat 3 years
Most signatures on benefits e-petition found to be fraudulent 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
France to extend short-selling ban to all men over 50 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Michael Winner’s wedding film expected to go straight to DVD 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Next riots scheduled to fuck up Parliaments winter break 0
FlashArry 3 years
Decline and fall of Western civilisation thwarted by a little light drizzle 0
FlashArry 3 years
Is writing "Please advise" and "ASAP" annoying? Please advise, ASAP! 2
Dumbnews 3 years
Police can now shoot 'sociologists' on sight 0
Porbeagle 3 years

Senior Tories have called today for an indefinite ban on socioeconomic analysis of the riots. David Cameron, speaking recently, said to anyone who has already taken part in such behaviour: "You will...

L'Oreal shares "no longer worth it". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years