The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
|Topic — Add New »||Comments||Votes||Author||Freshness|
|French Historians Agree That Quasimodo.......||0||
||Jesse Bigg||3 years|
|SAA+rkozy suffers election setback||0||
|People with tatoos in foreign dialects to be forced to learn the language||1||
People who get fashionable body art in a foreign language are going to be forced to become 'at least conversational' in their chosen dialect according to new government proposals aimed at tackling...
|Physicists hail zombie cats as solution to Schrodinger paradox.||0||
||the coarse whisperer||3 years|
|Scot's Devo-max a whinge-whinge situation. More soon.||0||
||Al OPecia||3 years|
|Rooney apologises for speaking French in ad he doesn't remember being in||0||
"Firs' fing I knew about it was when I read it inda paper."...
|Nation's Bullys to redouble efforts on Nerd, Geeks.||0||
Will highlight best practice merger with Public School Fagging system More soon...
|Romney apologies for French gaffe, promised to get lobotomy if elected||0||
In tears, GOP presidential candidate Romney apologized for his embarrassing speech in perfect French in 2002. "I appreciate this means I am not ignorant enough for the highest office in the land. I...
|Apple crumbles in China as Golden Delicious withdrawn from sale||1||
Greengrocers have stopped sales of Golden Delicious in China today after a store in central Beijing was forced to close after a crowd waiting to buy the US fruit pelted the shop with eggs and started...
|Republican candidates lambasted for barely speaking the Queen's English||0||
|Student deported to USA for driving at 56 mph||1||
|Half a million unhappy children 'not a problem' says the Grown Up's Society||2||
Half million children across Britain are unhappy with their lives, research from the Children's Society suggests. But the rival Grown Up's Society says that its members are 'comfortable' with the...
|Bond movies "give white cats a bad image"||0||
|Taken back - bad taste||4||
||Ian Searle||3 years|
|Ofsted report reveals "appalling levels of arithmetic and writing in Hogwarts"||3||
Ofsted point out that no amount of magic can conjugate a verb or differentiate an equation. More on this soon...
|Unexpected celebrity chef in bagging area||0||
||Smart Alex||3 years|
|Depressed mountaineer at rock bottom||8||
|Bletchley Park boffins no nearer to cracking TEXTSPEAK Code say MoD||3||
ITS NOT GR8 :-(...
|Domesday Clock To Be Linked To Atomic Clock To Stop Continual Adjustments.||0||
|Shares down amid nuclear apocalypse rumours||1||
|Teachers back plans to get rid of under-performing MPs after three months||1||
||Ian Searle||3 years|
And not to wait a full five years for a General Electon...
|US military piss away opportunity for peace||3||
|Cameron to rethink controversial plans which affect people who vote for him||0||
||Ian Searle||3 years|
But will carry on closing libraries and day care centres, cutting the NHS and all the things which affect oiks!...
|Inventor of Clearasil found guilty of spot fixing||2||
|Fergie 'posed as donor' for undercover orphanage film. Gullibility Oscar likely.||1||
|Complaints mount after latest Groupon offer for Dignitas assisted suicide.||12||
A number of complaints have been raised after the latest Groupon discount coupon was published online offering a 70% discount on Dignitas assisted suicide services. Carol Poindexter, from Cardiff,...
|Slow witted seamstress cottons on||4||
|Down in the mouth, admits duck fancier||3||
|Adolecesents confused as Lynx 2012 doesn't get them laid||5||
There was widespread confusion among young sex starved teens as new evidence emerged that Lynx's latest God awful toiletry will not in fact guarantee sexual intercourse. There is widespread concern...
|BBC denies biased reporting of bid for Scottish independence from licence fee||3||
The BBC was embroiled in a bitter row last night, after using the same unflattering picture of Alex Salmond in dozens of reports about his bid for Scottish independence. Officials denied the...
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