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'Ugly and unpopular' boy who 'won't be missed' makes unexpected recovery 13
Qoxiivi 3 years

A very annoying boy, who's been in a coma for the past three days, has made an unexpected recovery that doctors and his family are calling both 'miraculous' and 'just typical'. After having been run...

North Korea will intercept any interceptions on interceptions for interceptions 0
theadministrator 3 years

On the Taepodong - II rocket which is set for launch between 12th - 20th April, 2012. North Korean Defence Staff announced today that the 2 KT Nuclear Yield Rocket named, "The Peaceful Satellite"...

Queuing for Petrol - F1 pit stops now last 45 minutes. More soon... 0
ianrbland 3 years

Fighting breaks out between pit crews after allegations of queue jumping., Squeegee squad sets up business in pit lane., Tanker Drivers' union receives "strange messages" from a Mr. B. Ecclestone.,...

President al-Assad offers to bombard the Bradford spring 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
BP warns of Nectar point shortage as petrol sales soar 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
WeBuyAnyPetrol.com website launched. More soon... 0
ianrbland 3 years
Galloway wins in Bradford after promising more petrol for honour killings. 6
MADJEZ 3 years
George Galloway to enter Republican Primaries 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

" It was the next logical step from Big Brother" said Galloway earlier...

Tesco Covent Garden has 'serious mouse problem' 0
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years

Nothing more annoying than a serious mouse I can tell you. My advice to Tesco would be to find a serious cat and then hopefully the mouse will go and be serious somewhere else....

CASH-4-PETROL - Do you have unused or unwanted fuel, turn it into instant cash. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

Just pour into one of our special milk cartons and send Freepost to our address., We will appraise your fuel and send you a cheque within 7 days. Mr A of Cleethorpes : 'I had half a gallon of 2...

Possible fuel shortage for hearses prompts bout of panic dying. More soon... 1
ianrbland 3 years
Long queues at pumps as Labour supporters flee Bradford Spring. 0
Boutros 3 years
Romney: Obama Doesn't Believe In Santa, Thinks Hamburgers Came From Germany 0
Textbook 3 years
Panic buying of petrol and release of new JOF book 'purely coincidence' say publ 1
Gerontius 3 years

isherrrrrr...

Historians find evidence of dragon which terrorised south of France 0
Nick McCarr 3 years

known as "The Worm of Cannes"...

Bradford spring to be manafactured abroad 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Cameron makes killing in oil shares as nation fill petrol tanks unecessarily. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Scientists struggle to quantify just how shit new Friendsreunited site is. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

More scathing attacks soon...

Ebay crashes due to increase in second hand petrol panic buyers 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

Also available dinner at an undisclosed flat in London...

Kent County Council and Amazon boss to launch Satellite Grammar School 0
3zincold 3 years

Amazon chief Jeff Bezos has apparently approached Kent County Council with an out of this world offer. He plans to use his recently acquired Apollo 11 booster rockets to place the newly agreed...

Computer Programmer of the Year delivers acceptance speech in binary 4
grumblechops 3 years

01001101 01101111 01110010 01100101 01110011 01101111 01101111 01101110...

School at centre of balcony fall row praised for accuracy of risk assessment 2
grumblechops 3 years

Fairfield High in Bristol today received plaudits for the accuracy of its overall risk assessment after it was revealed a pupil had been hospitalised after falling six stories from a stairwell...

Lord Coe denies 'stockpiling' fuel for Olympic flame 0
Underconstruction 3 years
Tanker drivers agree to perform RAF roles as fears of air attack intensify 6
Underconstruction 3 years

Beleaguered RAF commanders have admitted that Esso fuel tanker drivers are being used as a stopgap to fill in for those staff, temporarily mustered to prevent a fuel delivery crisis across the nation...

Captain Scott diary entry reveals how he regrets not taking more frozen food 0
Underconstruction 3 years

Newly released extracts from the final diary of legendary British explorer Captain Scott have revealed how the explorer questioned the decision not to carry more frozen foodstuffs on his ill-fated...

Tom Annoyed that Jerry is described as a can 6
GillsImp 3 years

A source at the Disney Studios in California has commented that Tom is extremely unhappy about Jerry being described as a can...

Express combines its to most popular topics, the EU and weather, to save space. 0
stevebrdfd 3 years

EU SCIENTISTS IN PLOT TO TEACH BRITAIN A LESSON, The Daily Express can today reveal that the extreme weather conditions which Britain has faced this year may well have been deliberately engineered...

QPR Owner buys Mark Hughes Expensive Lighter 1
GillsImp 3 years

QPR owner has bought Mark Hughes a lighter as a gift. Apparently he keeps losing his matches...

Cameron admits to panic buying a fool. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
The economy: Panic merchants defy recession 0
weematt 3 years