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Balls denies siding with a cock to fuck an arsehole. 3
SingingHinny 3 years

More Team America:World Police soon...

Stephen Fry bemused at reaction to his renaming Dam Buster dog 'Spit' 0
pinxit 3 years
Chief Druid slams ‘unelected coalition’ of the Holy Trinity 0
Des and Stan 3 years

Britain’s self-styled Chief Druid, Arthur Pendragon today criticised what he called the unelected coalition of the Holy Trinity. Speaking from his Stonehenge HQ he said that the human race was...

Distraught Katie Price says her breast-reduction op has gone 'tits up' 1
pinxit 3 years
Facebook recognition software discovers Lord Lucan 1
jp1885 3 years

90% of dissolute aristocrats with massive gambling debts and who have have murdered one of the staff before buggering orf to South Africa won’t post this as their status...

. 2
3 years
Ofqual: Only 17% of exam papers have misstakes; the other 86% is fine 0
John Wiltshire 3 years
Ryanair denies transparency over cost of a ticket 0
Dick Everyman 3 years

Michael O’Leary, chief executive of Ryanair has emphatically denied that the airline has started to make its online charges “less frightening” for customers following investigations by the...

Dress like Prince Philip and say what you bloody like, says costume inventor 1
ronseal 3 years

A new Prince Philip fancy dress costume, that gives the wearer the power to say what the hell they like, has become the UK's best selling fashion item. [HAVEN'T GOT THE TIME TO FINISH THIS. PERHAPS...

Outcry as alphabet reordered 'to reflect demands of 21st Century' 21
DrTurmoil 3 years

The Government is to re-order the letters of the alphabet to reflect modern usage, in a plan which has caused outrage among teachers, parents, and men with carefully ordered CD and DVD collections....

Rapture 'will still go ahead' after Listening Exercise, insists God 2
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

God has confirmed that plans for the Rapture and the End Times are still going ahead despite the launch of a Listening Exercise this week to consult on the changes. “We recognise that there are...

Dambusters dog to be renamed Digger for remake of iconic film... 0
DiY 3 years

because N-word might offend Americans. Australians now going to sue Stephen Fry...

Ken Clarke to introduce prisoner Nectar points 7
Ludicity 3 years

Justice Secretary Ken Clarke has announced that plans to reduce prison sentences by up to 50% will be abandoned in favour of a new system of HMP Nectar points. Under the scheme those who...

Prince Philip says he’ll “slow down” at 90, adding “but gradually, unlike Diana” 4
Qoxiivi 3 years

More soon Another possible execution: Prince Philip says he’ll "slow down" at 90, adding; "unlike Henri Paul"...

Wales thanks Giggs for inspiring 'Welsh sex' jokes that don't involve sheep 2
Oxbridge 3 years
Alex Reid denies that Chantelle is his type he prefers Authors like his ex 0
doggone 3 years

Jordan ,the Author...

‘So that’s why they’re called hacks’ says everyone 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Norfolk drought - families asked to share baths rather than beds 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Met Office Warns of Forthcoming Trouble After Arab Spring 0
Deimos 3 years

Today the UK Meteorological Office has warned UK and EU leaders about potential social unrest and rioting across much of Europe. Following the Arab Spring, the impacts of which are still resonating...

Slutwalk gets makeover after Trinny & Susannah ambush 0
DrTurmoil 3 years

"Showing off your tits and legs at the same time in any part of town is a definite no-no," declared the senior fashion police. "They were all asking for it," agreed style judge Gok Wan, "especially...

Satanists back Archbishop and condemn cut in number of virgins 0
FraserWords 3 years

Satanists have roundly condemned the Coalition government as “far too nice” after Chancellor George Osborne announced a 30% cut in virgin numbers., Dr Philip Potterfield, Lord High Arch Mandrake...

Save the Children says more money for immunisation ‘would be a shot in the arm’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
The Wombles to help clear up the festival site after their Glastonbury set 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Prince Philip to enjoy winding-down after a life of winding-up 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Hair surgeon advises Rooney "No Keepie Uppie" 0
Dick Everyman 3 years
Paul McCartney reveals late wife's flatulence in new book 'Wind Behind My Wings' 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Prince Charles' "bucket list" goes viral - only one item on it 6
Willy Eckerslike 3 years
Grumpy Greek bloke celebrates 90th birthday. 0
DiY 3 years
Blair to Milliband: 'Follow my lead, Labour is finished'. 0
be reasonable 3 years
'Pippa's bum would win under AV' claims Clegg 2
John Wiltshire 3 years

The Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg, claimed today that under the Alternative Vote system, Pippa Middleton would have won Rear Of The Year instead of Carol Vorderman. 'To be frank,' he said to an...