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LOCOG releases more tickets for Olympic Opening Ceremony 1
bonjonelson 30.07.12 7:00pm
antharrison
Queen’s opening ceremony ‘speaking role’ sparks Equity strike

A row has broken out amongst the acting community, after an elderly woman without an equity card took part in a prime-time drama. Known simply as ‘The Queen’, the woman has no history of acting...

0
30.07.12 5:14pm
Military on standby following BBC's extended coverage of Olympic 'non sports'

Rumours are circulating this evening that official Olympic broadcaster, the BBC, may have to call on the assistance of the already beleaguered armed forces to supply emergency presenters to help...

0
Duff 30.07.12 4:30pm
Duff
Olympic starter to be replaced by Pelican crossing. 0
button 30.07.12 2:42pm
button
Empty Olympic seats actually occupied by German beach towels 0
seymour totti 30.07.12 2:38pm
seymour totti
China denies Olympic pool success down to human-dolphin hybrids

The first cheating scandal of the Olympic Games erupted today when China angrily denied accusations made by BBC presenter, Claire Balding, that its six gold medals in the pool have been won by...

4
Gary Stanton 31.07.12 8:26am
Gary Stanton
Spectators walk out of women's weightlifting snatch event

Confused spectators have been complaining about being misled by the women's weightlifting event. "I was looking forward to the women's snatch followed by the traditional jerk and clean, what I didn't...

3
apepper 30.07.12 5:47pm
apepper
Storm over full seats at Olympic sailing

Olympic organisers are trying to discover who is responsible for the full seats at the Olympic sailing events. Lord Coe explained; "It's a bit of a mystery; who on Earth wants to watch 6 tiny boats...

0
apepper 30.07.12 12:29pm
apepper
Olympic pool "to be carbonated" in response to sponsor demands

Olympic pool "to be carbonated" in response to sponsor demands...

1
BAJDixon 30.07.12 12:41pm
riesler
Ryan Giggs Anthem Protest Sparks Royal Affair Fever

Gossip columnists, armed with information from 'reliable sources', are convinced that GB soccer captain, Ryan Giggs, has been dumped by a member of the Royal Family. Following yesterday's brief...

0
30.07.12 12:06pm
More Olympic copyright trouble as Spice Girls turn around and bend over naked 4
Mandy Lifeboat 30.07.12 7:48pm
Mr Target
Copper theft exacerbates police numbers crisis

The recent rise in copper thefts has put an increased strain on police numbers according to a report release by the Home Office today. With scrap values soaring increasing numbers of coppers are...

8
button 03.08.12 11:08am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Olympics diving competitors to wear pyjamas and retrieve rubber brick 1
seymour totti 30.07.12 4:38pm
custard cream
Desperation to fill seats causes Coe to lie across four at press conference 0
Basil_B 30.07.12 10:55am
Basil_B
Lewis Hamilton wins GB's first Gold in the Motorised Olympics

At the London Hungaroring...

0
Rootin Tootin 30.07.12 9:43am
Rootin Tootin
Obamacare takes the silver in national health championships.

"Just you wait until the dental event!" said the smiling President...

0
Maverick 30.07.12 7:25am
Maverick
Satirists strangely quiet about NHS promo in opening ceremony.

World wide audience bemused and confused...

0
Maverick 30.07.12 7:24am
Maverick
Warren commission denies anyone was on the grassy knoll at the opening ceremony. 0
Maverick 30.07.12 7:21am
Maverick
Euphoria as GB girls fail to win their races 0
medici2471 30.07.12 6:45am
medici2471
Soldiers step into replace missing athletes...

First we had soldiers stepping into to fill in the gap left by G4S and as if that wasn't embarrassing enough for LOCOG they then had to bring in extra soldiers to fill in the empty seats in many of...

0
hardev 29.07.12 10:30pm
hardev
Boy, 16, becomes first to overdose on 'Olympics'

The current craze sweeping the nation of doing Olympics has claimed its first victim today, with a boy - who cannot be named - dying of acute over-excitement after consuming over 30 'tickets' of the...

4
quango 30.07.12 8:07am
dvo4fun
Incredible String Band "lacked incredibilty" says new sixties retrospective 4
nickb 30.07.12 1:11pm
Golgo13
India storm to top the 2012 Olympics Offended Nations table

The entire Indian Olympic contingent stormed to the top of the offended nations table after a post-graduate woman from Bangalore gatecrashed the team's entrance to the opening ceremony procession,...

0
ginty 29.07.12 7:44pm
ginty
Queen plays Helen Mirren. More soon.

Bit late, I know...

1
Al OPecia 29.07.12 10:16pm
hardev
Olympic Games may close “as early as Thursday”

Olympic Games may close “as early as Thursday” Empty seats, indicating widespread public indifference, may bring about a premature end to the 30th modern Olympiad, with some commentators...

0
backwards7 29.07.12 5:38pm
backwards7
Sting takes silver medal for GB as he comes 2nd in Olympic tantric sex final 6
charlies_hat 30.07.12 7:56am
Perks
All you need to know about cat insurance

Insurance costs for cats are rising, with the modern feline being both faster and more powerful than its predecessors. Particularly if it’s a turbo cat and the previous owner had it ‘chipped’....

19
dvo4fun 04.08.12 8:11am
Sinnick
Dressage to feature land mines 'to make it more interesting' 1
Scroat 29.07.12 3:17pm
dvo4fun
Scandinavian detective to remain upbeat despite series of personal tragedies

Scandinavian detective to remain upbeat despite series of personal and work-based tragedies Detective Sergeant Fred Blomqvist was in no way downcast last night after falling victim to the latest in...

3
Gary Stanton 27.01.13 8:19am
Sinnick
Many empty seats at Womens Beach Volleyball, though mens toilet cubicles full. 0
MADJEZ 29.07.12 11:53am
MADJEZ