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Otter cocks getting smaller, claim beavers

Yeah, this is a shit one. But hey, let's get it up and see if it satisfies an undemanding twat...

Truebiscuit 24.02.13 1:19pm
Paddy Berzinski
DIY 'expert' knocks two rooms into one...

now admits to being disappointed with 20" high living room and lack of master bedroom...

Smart Alex 24.02.13 1:15pm
Traces of horse substitute found!

Traces of horse substitute have been found in beef substitute in vegetarian beef lasagna, beef burgers and sausages, more soon...

hero2zero 24.02.13 1:14pm
Clegg promises to 'get to bottom' of groping allegations. 0
Milo Shame 24.02.13 12:48pm
Milo Shame
Dalek Designer Meets Davros on Skaro 0
victimms 24.02.13 12:38pm
Banksy doodle deriding capitalism sells for £3million, artist "overjoyed". 5
Gaz 24.02.13 12:06pm
Chris Huhne glad of extra time to bone up on prison slang

Amid the dismay at the outcome of the Vicky Pryce trial and the disillusionment with the jury system, one man is quietly pleased – Chris Huhne has been using what freedom he has left to acquaint...

sydalg 24.02.13 11:58am
Non-perverted Catholic priest discovered

A catholic priest has been discovered who hasn't been accused of any inappropriate relationships. Father Arnold Jenkins has spent the last 28 years living on Scalpay in the Hebrides. The tiny island...

apepper 24.02.13 11:54am
Experts regret trying to shed light on boy raised by moths - 2

A boy discovered during an expedition to the forests of Bulgaria may have been raised by moths, according to anthropologists. A group of scientists had set out to catalogue unknown species from the...

24.02.13 11:35am
Cameron Appoints David Jacobs To Review Jury System

..for nostalgiaphiles...

Mike Turbine-Hamilton 24.02.13 11:33am
Alastor Moody to stand for Beastly Eye Election 0
MikeF 24.02.13 11:10am
Cardinal O'Brien-O'Brady-O'Neill-O'Murphy accused ...

of inappropriate acts. Even more soon...

roybland 24.02.13 10:57am
Lates on Horse Meat Scandal

"DNA found in Alpabetti Spaghetti"...

Nosey 24.02.13 10:13am
More Banksy Art stolen

Sinnick 24.02.13 9:06am
. 0
Sinnick 24.02.13 8:47am
Donor Kebab Shop Owner Gives Up Selling Sheek

Life has been hard for Mr Popadopalous, a chubby yet cheeky grinned olive skinned man that you'd only allow behind a counter before asking your wife if she'd like a large one., It's a straight...

Tess Goes 24.02.13 8:34am
Tess Goes
Syria: key questions

A journalist (me) got given special access to the Syrian president, Assad, the Syrian President [must check this]. In his palace, where'd I'd gone, I saw him, and went over to him. He was drinking...

Mik Bulk 24.02.13 5:51am
New BBC drama stars maverick investigator with a secret - The Red Action Files

After stealing the show in the long running Jimmy Savile drama, Red Action is to get his own series. The Red Action Files investigates a series of sordid stories of corruption in Britain's uniquely...

ronseal 24.02.13 3:00am
Osborne in intensive negotiations with 5
shaggy 24.02.13 12:46am
Audible Minority
George Osborne downgraded from Chancellor to Chancer 0
Hooch 24.02.13 12:45am
Dalek designer EXTERMINATED!

Bang! Bet no-one saw that angle coming. Fucking incredible stuff Truebiscuit, you deserve a nice, lazy wank for that effort. Piss funny, because 'exterminate' is what the Daleks said, and the bloke...

Truebiscuit 24.02.13 12:35am
Dalek Designer Funeral chaos as house only accessible by stairs. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 24.02.13 12:07am
Al OPecia
Search continues for the Southwark 12

The search continues today for the 12 men and women who have been missing since the end of the Vicky Pryce trial on Wednesday. The 12, led by one they called “Chair”, were last positively...

shaggy 23.02.13 11:37pm
Lens Cap
Judge in Pistorius trial admits to being U-Boat captain and wanking in a sock

This is complete bollocks, but it might be accidentally brilliant. Probably is, because I wrote it and I'm fucking hilarious...

Truebiscuit 23.02.13 11:21pm
Audible Minority
Liverpool keeps AAA rating, urges investors to calm down

Fucking genius. Brilliantly piss funny. Fuck me, the gold keeps pouring...

Truebiscuit 23.02.13 11:07pm
Audible Minority
Mandy Rice Davies not called as witness in Vicky Pryce retrial

Jurors expected to draw their own reasonable conclusions...

Audible Minority 23.02.13 10:04pm
Audible Minority
"We'd be in One Direction if it wasn't for crime" say grateful criminals

Criminals claim they would be living a life of meaningless manufactured pop-stardom if they had not had the benefit of vicious underlass street life, it emerged today. Speaking from the stairwell of...

23.02.13 9:54pm
Paddy Berzinski
Hundreds of people 'who never knew Nick Clegg' may attend his career funeral

A local Vicar hopes a Facebook appeal, for anyone who doesn't know Nick Clegg to attend his imminent political funeral, will prompt a large turnout. Rev. Bob Mason of Eastleigh posted his plea...

dvo4fun 23.02.13 9:19pm
Liverpool credit rating downgraded to AA CalmDownCalmDown 0
23.02.13 9:09pm
Duracell battery rating now higher than UK economy 2
custard cream 23.02.13 9:07pm