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Footballers to be given "hazardous work" bonus..More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
police still have no clue in mysterious drug addict barn death... 5
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years

When quizzed by local media on why the investigation team still hadn't found any evidence the chief forensic officer replied 'it's like looking for a needle in a haystack'...

George Galloway Tweets, "Shattered but happy after by-election victory in Burma" 0
HenroPlod 3 years
Scientist discovers ‘being a dog’ is key to reducing stress 6
3 years

An expert in making people worry about dying believes they’ve found a new weapon to combat one of Britain’s most popular killers. By concentrating a bit harder on becoming a member of the canine...

Investment firm got Game 0
virtuallywill 3 years

more later...

Tories admit to spread betting on opinion polls to raise party funds. 0
Ian 3 years

Following an investigation by The Telegraph, Eric Pickles has admitted that the Conservative party has been spread betting on the state of the parties in the opinion polls to raise party funds....

Pete Tong tells journalists: "It's all going really well, actually" 0
Nails UK 3 years
Shark attack victim "enriched lives of family and friends". And shark. 0
Nails UK 3 years
Muamba baffles female nurses by successfully explaining offside rule 0
Underconstruction 3 years

I'll get my coat...

Government to appoint Storage Tzar 2
Underconstruction 3 years

David Cameron has announced that the government is to 'take stock' of recent criticisms and appoint a senior official to oversee all national storage-related issues. The role will address 'the safe...

Journalist fury at government "April Fools" 0
apepper 3 years

Journalists have reacted with anger at the government's April Fool jokes over the last few days. "We expect government statements at least to have a basis in reality, but now they're taking the...

MPs fail to ease sperm shortage. 0
alanthetortoise 3 years

Since progeny of donated sperm have been able to trace their fathers, donations have dried up. MPs decided to address the shortage by donating in a special mastabatorium in Westminster. The husband...

Police demand more relaxation time... 4
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years

A spokesperson reclined to comment...

PM refused to be drawn on stalking artist claim 2
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years
George Galloway "Abu Qatada is misunerstood! and wants to be a scout leader" ! 1
wilkieone 3 years
What is the point of 'The Midlands'? 1
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years

So annoying when you are trying to get from Manchester to London or vice versa? Can't we move it closer to Norfolk so that we have all the really boring places in one spot?...

Marylebone take down statue of it's most famous son.. 0
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years

Norman Wisdom after it fell over for the 5th time...

I have never understood why they test cosmetics 2
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years

and perfumes on rabbits as they can't afford to buy it no matter how good they smell or look after...

Arab Spring most likely caused by ‘accident with a jerry can’ , claim experts 4
Gary Stanton 3 years

The popular uprisings that swept the Arab world in the spring of 2011 were most likely the result of Mohamed Bouazizi’s amateurish efforts to decant petrol from a jerry can in the kitchen of his...

Queue to 'panic charge' electric cars enters third week 7
3 years

A queue outside an on-street car charger has been cordoned off by Kensington council, as it extended to an 'unbelievable' third car. Following advice to keep their cars 'topped up' if they happen to...

North of England switched off during Earth Hour 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Apple and Blackberry Crumble 0
anhodika 3 years

Blackberry announce $125mil loss. Apple under investigation for "Working Practices" in China. Government worried that panic buying of custard will cause havoc in Tescos...

Armed Forces strike: Government advice blamed for ‘panic’ Falklands Invasion. 0
HenroPlod 3 years

The UK government has changed its advice for Argentina to, “top up your tanks”, after a panic invasion of the Falkland Islands. On Thursday, Prime Minister David Cameron advised...

Former Monkey Mike Nesmith elected leader of Unionist Party. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

http://jaydeanhcr.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/nesmith.jpg...

Horse Survives Accident 4
GillsImp 3 years

Apparently, according to his owners, he's in a stable condition...

Vin Diesel unhappy about his reputation 3
GillsImp 3 years

Vin Diesel has threatened to sue the UK government over slurs that Diesel is in short supply. He stated that he is still available for work...

Petrol Heads Game Show to be Re-visited 0
GillsImp 3 years

the BBC are looking at bringing back the game show Petrol Heads hosted by Neil Morrissey., A BBC spokesperson stated that the time was right to bring back this fantastic show at a time of fuel...

New virus causing irrational and panic buying behaviour has been identified 0
Claire 3 years

A new virus has been identified causing a pandemic amoungst the population. The WHO (world health organisation) have released details of this virus, stating, "it causes irrational behaviour,...

Cameron to feature in new Blockbuster 2
wilkieone 3 years

David Cameron is to feature in a new docu film highlighting his leadership of the coalition government. the film will focus heavily on his policies in particular his treatment of the elderly and so...

Pasty Gate Latest 0
GillsImp 3 years

I built a gate out of pasties. Fell apart when I tried to open it. Smelt good though...