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Missing John Muscle case latest, DNA traces found in neighbour's pipework. 0
Immunis 3 years
Spy rock uncovered! The Ruskies get their quarry 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years

It was given away by wearing a tuxedo...

New London Airport may be built on the site of Boris Johnson's [f**king!] ego 0
dvo4fun 3 years

more [billions]later. Hurrah...

A child named Fellatio 1
Christopher Frost 3 years

A couple from Somerset have sparked controversy after naming their newborn son Fellatio. Explaining the thought process behind their decision, the child's mother told reporters: 'Initially, my...

Michael Gove ‘Likely to just get flowers’ for Queen after yacht idea rejected 14
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

After seeing his suggestion of celebrating the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee by building a new royal yacht, at a cost to the taxpayer of £60m, rejected, Michael Gove has admitted that there is now...

Ken Livingstone sentenced to 21 years in captivity on Boris Island 1
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

Ken Livingstone sentenced to 21 years in captivity on Boris Island...

Luton revealed as Occupy protest camp 5
Long Distance Clara 3 years

Following a high court decision to evict the Occupy London protesters from outside St Paul’s Cathedral, media outlets were surprised when residents of the Bedfordshire town of Luton vowed to...

Visitors enjoy boost to self-esteem at zoo for obese animals 22
3 years

A West Midland zoo is witnessing record numbers of visitors, after deciding to fatten up all its animals with cakes. Solihull zoological park is the first sanctuary for obese animals, and members of...

Jabba the hut to come out of retirement for 2012 Olympic Basketball 0
simonjmr 3 years
Flashers to face stiff penalties 0
Major Clanger 3 years
Internet to become literate by 2013. 2
Boutros 3 years

Just as semi-literate bookstore Waterstones, citing a need for "a more versatile and practical spelling in the digital world of URLs and email addresses" loses an apostrophe, enlightened Internet...

Cameron to urge the poor to stop breathing 1
grottymonty 3 years

In an attempt to meet the Kyoto protocol targets on CO2 emissions, David Cameron will call on the poor to stop wasting oxygen and creating unnecessary carbon dioxide. "These people are nothing but a...

'PC' meteorologist forecasts tricky driving in "Academically Challenged" fog. 7
dvo4fun 3 years
Wogan accused of ripping off dyslexics with high interest loans. More soon. 15
dominic_mcg 3 years
There is a large amount of poop in my butt, Please advise. 2
Dumbnews 3 years
CRB check to include compulsory test on the works of Julia Donaldson 8
jp1885 3 years

Home Secretary Theresa May has announced that childcare professionals wishing to apply for a CRB check must also ‘demonstrate sufficient knowledge’ on the works of popular author and Children's...

Prostitutes deny palming off clients with inferior service during the recession 2
Scroat 3 years

More coming oh yes oh yes, yes yes...

12 Dead due to Wikipedia blackout, final toll not yet known 0
Dan Strait 3 years

Now in its 13th hour, The blackout of the [url=http://en.wikipedia.org]English Wikipedia[/url] is proving to have catastrophic consequences. The first victim at 05:00 (GMT) was delivery driver Alex...

Parrot sellers in anti-piracy protest 0
apepper 3 years

Purveyors of parrots are protesting against proposed anti-piracy laws...

Boris Island: book now for this latest must-visit holiday destination 0
Clarky 3 years

Any takers?...

Top Gear defend 'cerebral palsy motor skills' special 4
charlies_hat 3 years
And the band played 'Nearer My Giglio to Thee' 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years
Bullied Children Advised To Recite Poetry At Bullies. 1
sredni vashta 3 years
Employee suspended for saying ‘Happy New Year’ after Firm’s 12 Day deadline 10
Stan 3 years

After automatically saying “Happy New Year” to everyone he had spoken to for the first time since 31st December, office worker Jon Knowles thought nothing of greeting his first caller of the day...

Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news 11
Golgo13 3 years

After years of attention-hungry maths boffins having hit-and-miss success getting nonsense formulas for 'most depressing day of the year', 'female beauty' and 'Christmas happiness' into the mass...

Standards Laboratory re-calibrates Labour leader as Nanoband 1
DorsetBoy 3 years

Pico, atto, femto And no, they are not lost Marx Brothers...

Elgar Country declares independence 2
Immunis 3 years

In the latest surprise move for the devolution of the UK, Elgar Country otherwise known as the apple orchards near Malvern has declared independence from the UK crown and government. Though not all...

BAFTA nominated silent film could see an end to cinema ban on mobile phones 4
ronseal 3 years

Uncivil libertarians were cock a hoop last night, after the British Academy of Film and Television Arts nominated The Artist, a silent movie, for an award. "At last, the powers that be have come to...

Scientologists admit: "We've been had." 0
hughesroland 3 years

"Holy shit, did we really believe this crap for all these years?" That was the comment yesterday, expressed by Scientology leader Derrick Holmes, that forced millions of Scientologists to admit "I...

Yachting becomes the new Rock(s) & Roll 0
victimms 3 years