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Smoking reduces stress of consequences of smoking, says smoker 1
Dumbnews 27.09.13 7:31pm
Al OPecia
Zombies 'sick to death' of inaccurate and offensive portrayal during Halloween

As Halloween fast approaches, several zombies have aired their frustration at being portrayed as 'brain-dead, blood-sucking monsters', and have called for retailers to remove fake blood, masks and...

2
Jesus H 27.09.13 6:17pm
Robopop
Emotional roller-coaster closed due to instability.

Hat-tip to nickb...

9
FOAD 27.09.13 5:58pm
FOAD
Couple addicted to sex diagnosed as bonkers

Shirly must have been done?...

10
beau-jolly 27.09.13 4:38pm
beau-jolly
Fat posh Russian woman says yes. Lardy da!

. sorry - drunk...

0
nickb 27.09.13 4:31pm
nickb
Howard Marks to deliver reefer lectures

Hat tip to Roy Bland. I am eating cornflakes straight from the packet...

0
CulchaVulcha 27.09.13 4:26pm
CulchaVulcha
England’s women footballers to consider gender reassignment surgery

The only thing standing in the way of England and World Cup glory is a cock and a pair of balls, according to football experts. After the England women’s team notched up consecutive 6-0 and 8-0...

8
Gary Stanton 27.09.13 4:18pm
nickb
Armed response alert following mental hospital outbreak cancelled...

after police realise it's just Fresher's week at Stockport College...

0
irreverendJ 27.09.13 3:33pm
irreverendJ
Labour Join Tories In ‘Giving Up’ On Slothful, Claim Bums Nationwide

http://www.libdemvoice.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/miliband.jpg Britain’s idlers were left disillusioned after an appearance by Labour leader Ed Miliband in Edinburgh earlier this week....

0
Bart Verhoeven 27.09.13 3:31pm
Bart Verhoeven
James Bond goes solo...

Speaking at the launch of the new book, [i]Solo[/i], author William Boyd said “I’ve taken Bond back to basics. Instead of shagging a bevy of beautiful girls with appealingly silly names, Bond...

2
Tripod 27.09.13 3:19pm
Sinnick
Mathletes set to smash national record

Adjudicators from the Guinness book of records will be poised and ready with their whistles and stopwatches tonight, when males from the nation's mathematics fraternity attempt to break the record...

0
Robopop 27.09.13 2:56pm
Robopop
Paper Shop Turned Into Paper Elephant By Origami Gang

More news as it unfolds...

0
Flugelbinder 27.09.13 2:47pm
Flugelbinder
Iceland not stocking 'psycho' outfits as most customers wearing them already 0
Oxbridge 27.09.13 2:34pm
Oxbridge
Sports Direct closes down after withdrawing clothing for the mentally ill. 0
Ref Minor 27.09.13 2:15pm
Ref Minor
Barely Acquainted Workplace Colleagues Maintain Eye Contact At All Costs

Workplace colleagues John Dobie and Scott Carlson, who have worked together at Syntech Electronics for 3 years, yesterday walked toward each other for an extended period whilst being extremely...

1
SimonJJames 27.09.13 1:08pm
Ref Minor
Bondage Dungeon owners in shock as local WI book for a tea party

BDSM specialist dungeon "Tight Corners" based in Little Fiddling in Hampshire were shocked to find their special bondage dungeon had been booked by the local WI for cream teas with scones. "We were...

6
AReader 27.09.13 11:12am
Flugelbinder
Lidl Stocks Costume For "Person Just Barely On Autistic Spectrum"

Bargain basement mental illness?...

0
SimonJJames 27.09.13 11:09am
SimonJJames
Trumpton Village Hall booked for bondage workshop

A "relationship support" meeting booked by 'Miss Lovelace', Mitzi, Daphne and Lulu, at the village hall has been cancelled amid fears that it was being used as a bondage workshop. The move comes...

1
Ian Searle 27.09.13 10:41am
AReader
Clam to give the 2014 Reith Lectures

A 500-year-old clam has been invited to give the 2014 Reith Lectures. It is believed it will be the first time a mollusc has been invited to give the lectures since they were inaugurated in 1948....

4
roybland 27.09.13 9:46am
Oxbridge
God Googles himself, starts to doubt own existence 0
sydalg 27.09.13 9:12am
sydalg
Boy, 15, admits 'Video Game' style Attack on Pigs

A 15-year-old boy who admitted attacking a pig farm with a collection of birds acted as if he was in a "real-life video game", a court has heard. The schoolboy, described as a "model pupil", stole 2...

1
Flugelbinder 27.09.13 9:05am
Flugelbinder
How was it for you? Hang on, let me just update my profile

Checking one's iPhone for Facebook updates or following the latest tweet of your [i]fave[/i] celeb, has now surpassed the satisfaction of drawing on a cigarette post-coitus. According to a survey...

4
Robopop 27.09.13 8:55am
Robopop
Scientists 95% Certain That Human Is "Dominant Cause" Of Climate Change

Global warming is "unequivocal", according to a landmark report on the Earth's climate and a report by the UN's climate panel details the physical evidence behind climate change. Scientists are 95%...

1
SimonJJames 27.09.13 8:46am
Robopop
Concerns mount as Qatar 2022 draft in South Wales slavery consultants 0
simonjmr 27.09.13 8:08am
simonjmr
Shock revelation as to cause of Air India flight crashed over Mont Blanc

Following the discovery of valuable jewels by a climber crash investigators have revealed that both planes were overcrowded with upwards of 5000 people all carrying priceless jewels. Thousands of...

0
tonyhill 27.09.13 6:26am
tonyhill
Unemployed PhD lands job designing mobile phone plans 0
Dumbnews 27.09.13 2:33am
Dumbnews
Expert on flower arrangements for funerals to give 2014 wreath lectures 0
Smart Alex 26.09.13 10:58pm
Smart Alex
'Enraged' Count Dracula to return his Tesco Club Card. 0
Boutros 26.09.13 10:46pm
Boutros
New IPCC report claims global warming will cool down Britain.

WTF ? [i]Scientists warn that the resulting cooling would mask the impacts of global warming on the country.[/i]...

1
Maverick 26.09.13 10:44pm
AReader
Mollusc to give 2014 reef lecture

Hat tip to Roybland...

0
Smart Alex 26.09.13 10:11pm
Smart Alex