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British Gas customers urged to install gas price rise alarms

British Gas customers should install gas price alarms in their homes advise health and safety organisations. 'British Gas customers should guard against a silent lethal build-up of price rises by...

roybland 28.02.13 10:46am
Kleenex CEO calls for more working from home 0
pere floza 28.02.13 10:26am
pere floza
Pope planning 'massive' leaving do

Plans are said to be well underway at the Vatican to mark the departure today of Pope Benedict XVI with what Cardinals are excitedly describing as ‘an enormous piss-up’. ‘We’ll start early...

Long Distance Clara 28.02.13 10:01am
Papacy aborted 0
Long Distance Clara 28.02.13 8:39am
Long Distance Clara
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shaggy 28.02.13 8:20am
Microsoft restructuring.....69% complete 0
shaggy 28.02.13 7:43am

Just anticipating the result for Mr. O’F...

sigmund 28.02.13 1:54am
Pope recalls joy and favourite choirboy Daniel 'Choppy' Waters 0
Idiot 28.02.13 1:18am
Nick Clegg nominates Lord Rennard for Mars mission 1
custard cream 28.02.13 12:36am
Satirist gives up failed career as ventriloquist

Too fucking soon...

Truebiscuit 28.02.13 12:29am
Rocket Ronnie Not Recovered From His Extended Rest

Ronnie O’Sullivan, the lovable cockney pocket filler, is back on the professional snooker tour. But his actions during a recent practice session demonstrated that the troubled player's return to...

Slante Dangle 27.02.13 11:07pm
Slante Dangle
Banksy wall art for sale in WalMart 1
custard cream 27.02.13 10:57pm
Slante Dangle
Jimmy Savile penthouse to be demolished to prevent supporters creating shrine 0
custard cream 27.02.13 10:55pm
custard cream
Banksy Art Removal Sparks Black Market For ‘Wall Art’

Following the recent mysterious removal and attempted sale of Banksy’s street art, a new black market has quickly emerged for the wall plaster behind other valuable artwork. Earlier this week, a...

Slante Dangle 27.02.13 10:16pm
Slante Dangle
Popemobile converted to getaway car 0
nickb 27.02.13 10:13pm
Job market under increasing pressure to resign.

After it was revealed that unemployment in Britain was up to around 98%, new questions were today raised as to the job market's competency. "It has been several years since the job market has hit...

Rizla 27.02.13 10:11pm
The Holy Father, Archbishop Canterbury, Mad Mullah & Richard Dawkins enter a pub

[i]The Holy Father (HF), Archbishop of Canterbury (AoC), Mad Mullah (MM) and Richard Dawkins (RD) go into a pub, which is empty apart from a couple of Arab gentleman and an old bearded man sitting in...

shaggy 27.02.13 9:58pm
Janet and John go to Mrs Titty-Bumbums

John is very excited. Today he is going to Mrs Titty-Bumbum’s cake shop. He has put on his best purple flared trousers, his tassled velvet blouse and pork pie hat. John is a fop and a dandy. ...

shaggy 27.02.13 9:56pm
God vows to stay awake during by election "to stop Lib Dems winning"

The Almighty has admitted “snoozing” during periods of the recently ended papacy “because he was bored with the arguments about cover ups over child abuse and the constant banging on about gay...

nickb 27.02.13 9:24pm
God denies Pope’s “sleeping” allegation - was watching lesbian sex instead

God today angrily denied allegations made by the Pope that there were moments “it seemed the Lord was sleeping”. He maintained his denial despite evidence emerging that he is omniscient, and thus...

Yikes 27.02.13 8:16pm
Pope speaks of ‘difficult times’

The Pope spoke of difficult times today as a new survey revealed exactly what the public think about the Pope and Roman Catholicism, carried out in an anonymous town in the UK “Yeah, no-one...

Reg Herring 27.02.13 7:42pm
Reg Herring
Inspectors find traces of horse, snail and frog meat in top French restaurant. 0
AdrianJ 27.02.13 7:40pm
Titanic Two 'too soon' say critics 0
Squudge 27.02.13 7:32pm
Lesotho school children sad not to have heard Prince Harry's speech

or is that cruel?...

MikeF 27.02.13 7:30pm
Australian billionaire to build Ned Kelly trousers

An Australian billionaire who financed the construction of a replica ocean going liner has said how he deeply regretted having the vessel built by a Chinese state owned company., Clive Palmer, who...

Gerontius 27.02.13 7:29pm
Michael Le Vell charged with perjury, described self as an actor. 1
MADJEZ 27.02.13 7:25pm
Madame Tussaud's allows waxwork Berlusconi to run in Italian elections

just a headline!...

rosege 27.02.13 6:55pm
Punter lost £2 on 'unmiraculous' seven-horse accumulator, announces Ladbrokes

A 58-year-old unemployed welder, Fred Stubbs, failed by a wide margin to get lucky at the races yesterday, when only one of the seven horses he backed in an accumulator romped home in first at...

Oxbridge 27.02.13 5:47pm
Pope's resignation - now God's 'had enough'

God is said to 'have had it up to here' and is thinking of 'packing it in' following the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI and Cardinal Keith O'Brien. 'God's infinite patience is running out,' said...

roybland 27.02.13 5:24pm
Government Announce Use of Horsemeat Should Decline With Start Of Badger Cull

The Government announced today that it has acted quickly to address the public outcry over the detection of horsemeat in so many “Ready Meals”. Analysis by DEFRA has identified that as horsemeat...

Deimos 27.02.13 4:40pm