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Ukraine says it's the "Safest country in Eastern Europe" - we have no Crimea.... 3
ianrbland 03.03.14 11:17pm
Ironduke
Mail Switches Sides In Russian Conflict...

…To have another go at Harmon...

2
Jesse Bigg 03.03.14 11:17pm
Jesse Bigg
Indecisive mammal publishes memoirs in run-up to independence vote.

The secret diary of Hadrian mole...

0
Underconstruction 03.03.14 11:10pm
Underconstruction
Putin sent in troops having 'heard screams' from 200 miles away 0
Boutros 03.03.14 11:03pm
Boutros
Nail biting start to Pistorius trial... obviously not the toes.

[url=http://news.sky.com/story/1220194/oscar-pistorius-trial-has-nail-biting-start]Nail biting start to Pistorius trial[/url] More soon...

0
MADJEZ 03.03.14 10:56pm
MADJEZ
Britain to host International 'It's a Cop-Out' 1
Underconstruction 03.03.14 10:02pm
deceangli
Rebekah Brooks Pleads Guilty to Bad Hair Day

Asks for 2,541 similar offences to be taken into consideration...

2
throngsman 03.03.14 9:57pm
GrumpyCat
Construction companies in bidding war for "Hadrian 2" contract

English, French, Chinese and Israeli construction companies are already lining up their bids to win what could be one of the most lucrative contracts this century. With the Scottish independence...

2
ianrbland 03.03.14 9:55pm
Ironduke
Cool heads must prevail in Crimea says Pardew

See page 4...

0
bookiesfriend 03.03.14 9:44pm
bookiesfriend
Cameron designates Crimea as "possibly part of the Falkland Islands"

More later...

0
ianrbland 03.03.14 9:41pm
ianrbland
Uk task force prepares to hurtle into action...

just as soon as we've built an aircraft carrier. You go ahead, we'll catch up...

1
Ironduke 03.03.14 9:34pm
Sinnick
Rab C Nesbitt Seeks Asylum in South Britain

Interview to come...

0
Atomised 03.03.14 9:23pm
Atomised
Philosopher Makes Major Discovery

We will know more once he mulls over it a bit, submits it for peer review, and checks his meds. That Phd wasn't for nothing...

0
Atomised 03.03.14 8:48pm
Atomised
Government buys first class stamp to send Russia a clear message quite soon 1
Underconstruction 03.03.14 8:20pm
Ironduke
Gravity Wins For Most Puns On Its Name In News Headlines

A "force" to be reckoned with...

2
Schoolboy 03.03.14 8:18pm
Ironduke
EU to Leave EU

In a surprise move the members of the EU have voted to leave the EU. The only EU country to vote against the move was the UK, which has a policy of opposing everything that France and Germany agree...

2
throngsman 03.03.14 8:14pm
Ironduke
Ikea customer who takes things literally panicked after passing irregular stool 0
Underconstruction 03.03.14 7:57pm
Underconstruction
King Cnut Blamed Parents for Lifetime of Bullying 0
deceangli 03.03.14 7:55pm
deceangli
Tragedy as Russia mistakes bedraggled UK paralympians for British invasion force 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 03.03.14 7:54pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Does Your Poo Look Funny? It’s Probably Cancer

If your poo looks unusual, you probably have colon cancer. Don’t start any long DIY projects. Persistent cough, lasting for more than 2 weeks? Lung cancer – that’s really bad. Heartburn for...

15
deceangli 03.03.14 7:45pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
New comedy series set on Death Row, Come Fry With Me 0
sydalg 03.03.14 7:41pm
sydalg
I would be nation's favourite summer wine if I was white, says Merlot 0
Underconstruction 03.03.14 7:34pm
Underconstruction
Pope confesses; "most of the bible was 'fan fiction'"

More to follow...

0
apepper 03.03.14 6:55pm
apepper
Putin assassination attempt thwarted after man dressed as bear is denied visa 0
Underconstruction 03.03.14 6:38pm
Underconstruction
Pistorius blames modern pentathlon dream for shooting

A vivid dream in which Para-olympic athlete Oscar Pistorius believed he required maximum points in the pistol shooting, to secure the gold medal in the modern-pentathlon event, may have led to the...

0
Underconstruction 03.03.14 6:31pm
Underconstruction
Mourinho accepts that title may be within his reach if it is 'cnut' 0
Underconstruction 03.03.14 6:18pm
Underconstruction
Leading scientist questions existence of God after man is inhuman to another man 0
Underconstruction 03.03.14 6:15pm
Underconstruction
As tensions escalate, Obama threatens closure of Moscow McDonalds.

No More Macs Soon...

0
Ironduke 03.03.14 6:06pm
Ironduke
Scots to Decommission Glaswegian Accent Before Independence

David Cameron has instructed the Scots to ‘decommission’ the Glaswegian accent before any further steps are taken on Scottish independence. “Whilst it isn’t exactly a WMD, the Glasgow accent...

4
deceangli 03.03.14 5:53pm
Gerontius
One Legged Man FInally Wins Arse Kicking Contest 2
Schoolboy 03.03.14 5:40pm
throngsman