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Neighbours astonished after man who kept himself to himself doesn’t kill anyone. 6
Ian Searle 3 years
‘happiest moment of my year is about 3 hours before the 1st race at Cheltenham' 0
simonjmr 3 years

Said Charlie Brooks in the Telegraph, didn't envisage he'd be spending it in a police cell More soon...

Olympic sex tourism hit by ho's pipe ban 0
medici2471 3 years

more soon..hat tip simonjmr...

Islington man discovers wine that 'tastes like wine' 1
roybland 3 years

When Islington man Ferdinand Baxter visited his local Waitrose he didn't expect to find the wine he'd been searching for for years. 'I casually picked up this bottle of red and started to read the...

Lonely spaceflights may damage eyesight of male astronauts 0
simonjmr 3 years

In the following thread Ironduke asked if there was a policy of wanking on the international space station, seems there might be with today's news, http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34880...

Newsflash: Brooks Not Under Arrest, Just Organizing a Horse 0
Deimos 3 years

Earlier reports that Rebekah Brooks has been arrested have now been corrected after the situation has been clarified. It appears that following the return of her Police Force loan horse, Mrs. Brooks...

New Internet Explorer 9 optimized for downloading of other browsers 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Institute for the deaf football team announce their biggest signing 0
simonjmr 3 years
Residents of Macynlleth furious as the sun doesn’t come out on Sunday 0
mohanboone 3 years

Counsellors and residents groups in Macynlleth have contacted The Advertising Standards Authority this week after the sun broke its promise by not coming out on Sunday. “Not a single ray”, a...

Rating agencies downgrade Virgin to Bucket 0
cinquecento 3 years
Anachronistic, Self Obsessed and engaging in arcane rituals - report 0
ianrbland 3 years

A new report into the Christian Church has just been published by the Pseudo-Science Research Council which was given unprecedented behind-the-scenes access to much of the Church's daily activities....

Thieves target Tate Modern installation 3
Earl Van Dyke 3 years

Police are on the lookout for thieves who broke into Tate Modern in the early hours of yesterday morning and made off with a porcelain sunflower seed., The seed is thought to be part of an...

Married couple's '7 year itch' confirmed to be thrush 0
Perks 3 years
David Cameron seen in La Senza before meeting to cement relations with Obama 0
simonjmr 3 years
Alex Ferguson finally masters time travel 0
ianslat 3 years

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has finally discovered the secret of time travel following a lifelong quest. Ferguson, famous for constantly looking at and tapping his watch at the end...

Gvt shrugs its shoulders at claim UK nuclear energy could end up in French hands 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Gvt. still trying to get an appointment to meet GPs to progress NHS reforms 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Southerners could be reduced to drinking their own urine 1
yussle 3 years

Many getting in practice by drinking local beers...

Cameron advised that he is being badly advised. 0
weematt 3 years

Four former FoE directors have told David Cameron that he is being badly advised over UK's nuclear power plans., "Of course I am badly advised" retorted Cameron, "You don't think I come up with so...

Complaints pour in after Witness Protection Scheme sells customer data 3
Immunis 3 years

Chicago police are currently investigating a crop of kidnappings and murders of people in the federal witness protection scheme. The connection between the victims has been traced to the sale of...

Shock as man trained to shoot foreign people shoots some foreign people 1
dvo4fun 3 years

more later...

Fears grow that student walkout may precipitate collapse of UK economy 1
roybland 3 years

Wednesday's planned walkout by tens of thousands of students protesting against government reforms to higher education could lead to the collapse of the UK economy, plunging the country into a 1930's...

Jazz mad councils abondon special Clio Lanes after they cause more jams. 4
Ian Searle 3 years

More shibbaddy-dup-a-dee-bee-wha-bopp soon. Nice!!!...

Many double arm amputees are voting with their feet 2
dvo4fun 3 years

more later...

South-East Facing Hosepipe Ban, Gardeners to Water in North-West Direction 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Gay bishop attacks straight marriage 0
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Lib Dems diagnosed with "locked-in-coalition" syndrome 1
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Catholic clergy up in arms over gay marriage ban 1
JustSomeBloke 3 years

"If they're not going to allow gay marriage," said Father Ben Dover today, "What in heaven has been the point of all the work we've put in grooming and sodomising the flower of the youth of our...

NHS Direct to be replaced with reading the Daily Mail 1
Immunis 3 years

The latest attempt at reforming the National Health Service by ‘Minister for the sick and clumsy’ Andrew Lansley is to save money by scraping NHS Direct and encouraging ill people to read the...

Eric Joyce quits as Labour MP to join US Army in Kandahar 0
cinquecento 3 years