The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
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Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
Check the following links for info: Guidelines for writers, Writer of the Month, Help with posting.
| Topic — Add New » | Comments | Votes | Author | Freshness |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Britney Spears ask when will she ever get credit for emulating her young fans | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
arrghgarry | 2 years |
|
For most young fans it can take time and money to look like or follow their Idol`s ways when I took a razor to my nether regions I instantly gave millions of my young fans a taste of what it was... |
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| ITV's Heartbeat axed after lasting 8 long years longer than the sixties | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
simonjmr | 2 years |
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ITV and the BBC to merge the eternal Heartbeat and Last of the Summer wine for a one off finale. More soon... |
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| Adidas issue recall of 3 million England shirts | 2 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
arrghgarry | 2 years |
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The head of the research dept admitted there was a basic design fault where the wearer assumed delusional problems they thought that everyone in the shirts were invincible and could beat any team... |
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| Unemployed to be Put in Olympic 'Work Camps' | 3 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Dun Dunkin | 2 years |
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To help keep costs down the unemployed will be put into work camps on Olympic construction sites. Migrant workers to complain that they cannot compete with forced labour.'We may live 9 to a room and... |
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| Open toad sandals morally bankrupt claims environmentalist | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
simonjmr | 2 years |
| Heartbeat actors check in to rehab after they have their lives shattered | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Iamthestig | 2 years |
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"It was all so real" said a member of the cast. "We all thought we were living a simple life in Aidensfield, with low crime, no speed cameras, sunny weather and cheap bear. But it's all a sham!"... |
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| House prices climb as the England flags come down | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
MrChigleysAunt | 2 years |
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It may not be a view universally shared, but Derek and Jean Winton are thrilled that England are out of the World Cup. "We timed it badly" explains Jean. "We put our house on the market a few weeks... |
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| Despite travelling in 4 dimensions, Karen Gillan's acting remains stuck in 1. | 2 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
wallster | 2 years |
| North Wests advice to save water is chuck the baby out and leave the bath water. | 2 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Basil_B | 2 years |
| England football team enter into historic coalition with Germany | 4 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Ludicity | 2 years |
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Prime Minister David Cameron has announced that the defeated England football team are to enter into coalition with Germany. Under the arrangement three England players will now join the German side... |
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| England World Cup song 'Back Home' never more pertinent | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
fun and games | 2 years |
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More in 4 years... |
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| Doctors warn of dangers of aural sex: Hearing AIDS cases on the increase | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Scroat | 2 years |
| A.B.S.O's to be handed out to anyone still displaying a george cross flag | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Basil_B | 2 years |
| Christine Bleakley signs record-breaking WAG transfer deal with Germany | 1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Ludicity | 2 years |
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Following extensive negotiations, TV presenter Christine Bleakley has dumped England striker Frank Lampard to become the girlfriend of Germany's Thomas Mueller. 'This has been one of the most... |
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| New Syndromes Identified | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
afternoonslow | 2 years |
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BBC MWSA syndrome , Widespread throught Five Live., BBC Sport journalists are prey to infection by the deadly MWSA bacterium which breeds in conditions of Stifling Arrogance and Unfounded... |
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| Michaelangelo sues Newsbiscuit on Sistine Chapel overuse | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
pinxit | 2 years |
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Backing from Berlusconi... |
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| UK Government Ready to Handover Falklands to the Argies | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Jesse Bigg | 2 years |
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The UK government has drawn up plans to handover the Falkland Islands to Argentina, if the Argie football team beats Germany in the next round., Speaking to an unamed minister, our reporter asked if... |
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| Norman Tebbit finally realises dream of opening his own bicycle shop | 1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Ludicity | 2 years |
| John Terry admits 'probably a mistake' to sleep with the referee's girlfriend | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Ludicity | 2 years |
| Fans livid over disallowed goal. 'Clearly we should have lost 4-2 !' | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
MADJEZ | 2 years |
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More soon and for the next 44 years... |
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| England fans break record for onset of impotent fury in Surbiton pub | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
StoopyDeGunt | 2 years |
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A jingo of red shirted twats broke a record yesterday - for the fastest onset of impotent nationalistic fury. The embarrassing football fans achieved the record by resorting to singing World War Two... |
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| FA to Allow Sequel of Cappello Comedy? | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Jesse Bigg | 2 years |
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Due to popular demand, the FA may give the go ahead for another Cappello football comedy, this time entitled, 'Over My Dead Body', or 'Shakey Ground Zero.'... |
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| If world ends in 2012 brand leaders will be immortal, says marketing death cult | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
StoopyDeGunt | 2 years |
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The leader of a new marketing death cult, which insists the world will end in 2012, has promised immortality to those brand managers who can achieve market leadership for their brand on the day of... |
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| Cunt of a boss picks cunt of a manager picks cunt of a supe, non-cunts lose hope | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
la maga | 2 years |
| Statistically unlikely break-up of all relationships in UK: grief, STDs shared | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
la maga | 2 years |
| Goal line video referee to be fitted with glasses before 2014 Cup installation | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Nick McCarr | 2 years |
| Sun Newspaper, Sports Section, Special Bog Roll Offer | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Jesse Bigg | 2 years |
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As a consolation re the poor England result in South Africa, The Sun Newspaper is offering its readers, for one week only, a toilet roll version of its Sports Section., Result crap? Just wipe it... |
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| Man buys self deprecating dog | 4 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
arrghgarry | 2 years |
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so when the time comes it will put itself down ... |
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| Taliban talks in Afghanistan should start soon, says head of army | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Dun Dunkin | 2 years |
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As the 'any options think out the box search' for new England Manager begins... |
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| Football dementia project success as England fans anticipate 2014World Cup glory | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Duncan Biscuit | 2 years |
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