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One of the Keith Campbells who cloned Dolly the Sheep dies

One of the five-hundred and seventy-eight thousand-million Keith Campbells whose pioneering research resulted in the cloning of Dolly the Sheep has died. There have been occasional rumours of human...

3
apepper 14.10.12 10:07pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Man must sleep on street after following loft insulation advice.

"Every time they put up the price of gas, the advice the gas company gives is to add 6 inches of insulation to my loft," explains Mr Boon, staggering back from B&Q with eight rolls of yellow...

1
Boutros 14.10.12 10:03pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Keith Lemon ‘no longer outrageous’ according to polls

Keith Lemon, the alter ego of comedian Leigh Francis is no longer outrageous according to recent opinion polls. All of his latest attempts at obscenity and depravity are flat-lining as audiences...

8
Dick Everyman 14.10.12 9:32pm
Dick Everyman
Turkey solves Winter problem

In one fell swoop, Turkey has solved its territorial and heating problems. The Turkish Military are to fill their air space with 10 000ft of thermal insulation material., Air Force General Hakki...

1
Cinders 14.10.12 8:39pm
Cinders
Angry torch bearing mob bricks in all the windows on Savile Row shops 0
ronseal 14.10.12 8:14pm
ronseal
British Gas customers encouraged to ‘warm up on a big rock’

As energy prices soared by another 6% in recent days, British Gas has offered advice to people who stubbornly rely on warmth to stay alive. Pointing out that some reptiles have adapted to the cold...

0
Nunnion Splendacular 14.10.12 7:02pm
Nunnion Splendacular
Turkey bans chickens from its airspace 2
14.10.12 6:59pm
apepper
Concrete jungle tougher to crack than abstract expressionism. 0
sigmund 14.10.12 6:09pm
sigmund
Cheetah fined for using special Wildebeest lanes

A Cheetah has received a record fine and faces having his license revoked after repeatedly flouting the new Concrete Jungle Traffic Management system (dubbed 'Moto-Moto' by CJ motorists). The...

6
Squudge 14.10.12 5:54pm
Squudge
Emu accuses Rod Hull in latest Celebrity abuse Claim ...

He oftern touched me inappropriatly Emu claims even when we were live on air!...

0
14.10.12 5:54pm
MOD announces new name for Territorial Army - The Taleban 0
custard cream 14.10.12 5:46pm
custard cream
Germany settles holocaust restitution claim: 'We paid our Jews' declares Merkel 1
Stanleys Dad 14.10.12 5:42pm
Squudge
Territorial Army to be renamed 'Cannon Fodder' 0
14.10.12 5:33pm
PPI firms busy re-tooling for lucrative Savile-compensation market 2
Idiot 14.10.12 4:48pm
Idiot
Queen adds to Savile abuse claims

In a recent press release by the Monarchy, The Queen has admitted to being fondled and then propositioned by the late Sir Jimmy Savile, fuelling allegations of sex abuse by the former BBC DJ and TV...

0
14.10.12 3:51pm
Cull 'big sett-back' for badgers, experts warn 0
roybland 14.10.12 3:44pm
roybland
School girl wets knickers at thought of Gove's 'awesome' history curriculum

Twelve-year-old Anthea Wills says she's beside herself with excitement at the prospect of history lessons when education secretary Michael Gove's new history curriculum is introduced into schools....

0
roybland 14.10.12 3:40pm
roybland
Time travel experiment 'over before it began' admit scientists 1
Stanleys Dad 14.10.12 3:08pm
Idiot
Dudley plumber Jimmy Saville forced to flee by ill-informed mob

Jimmy Saville, a 45 year old plumber from Dudley is the latest name-a-like forced to relocate to Farnton, a secluded, high security village in Suffolk created especially for individuals who share...

23
BAJDixon 14.10.12 2:36pm
BAJDixon
EU awarded Nobel Peace Prize for being too broke to start any wars... 2
Tripod 14.10.12 2:32pm
4ty2
CONCRETE JUNGLE BLAMED FOR WOODPECKER DEATHS

NEAT O. WE ARE KILLING OURSELVES. HA HA...

2
The Secret Cabal 14.10.12 1:36pm
Squudge
Revealed: Not all Luton van drivers come from Luton. 0
Boutros 14.10.12 11:14am
Boutros
Rise in injured children blamed on new 'concrete jungle gym' 0
Perks 14.10.12 9:17am
Perks
Jimmy Savile's gravestone to be made into dance floor

More to follow...

0
apepper 14.10.12 9:09am
apepper
Young Scottish voters to be given ‘What. Ever.’ option

Teenagers in Scotland will have several new choices added to their ballot papers if plans go ahead to give 16- and-17-year-olds a vote in the forthcoming Scottish independence referendum. While...

3
DustyBinLaden 14.10.12 9:03am
Gerontius
Portrait of Audley Harrison perfectly captures his face on canvas 2
charlies_hat 14.10.12 8:48am
Squudge
The Chancellor mobilises the troops for spontaneous un-invasion

Defence chiefs are hurriedly drawing up plans for a faster withdrawal from Afghanistan, after George Osborne said so. Spooked by the latest random gesture from Gorgeous George, hardened soldiers are...

2
Squudge 14.10.12 7:27am
Squudge
Why have a go at Audley Harrison? He never hurt anyone... 0
Tripod 13.10.12 10:35pm
Tripod
BBC Reconsiders Royal Charter In Wake Of Plantagenet King's Child Bride Scandal

In a desperate attempt to pre-empt further accusations of complicity, in the wake of a series of child abuse scandals surrounding public figures associated with the broadcaster, the BBC today...

2
Nowherefast 13.10.12 10:08pm
FlashArry
USA awarded Nobel peace prize for saving Europe from tyranny. Twice.

., Cat, check. Pigeons. Check...

3
sigmund 13.10.12 8:26pm
arthurminnit