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NHS resurrection performance slammed

The NHS is failing to meet government targets to raise people from the dead according to a new report from the NHS watchdog Nicene. The finding follows recent claims of long waiting times for people...

roybland 13.04.14 10:56am
Increase in the number of complaints about plot holes in British road movies 0
Ian Searle 13.04.14 10:40am
Ian Searle
Tamiflu last drug to be named after a country singer 13
custard cream 13.04.14 9:35am
Do not miss the "All About Gods Show"

From Arena Displays to a Fun God Show, All About Gods is packed full of fun competitions and games for your god. From spectacular god display teams to entertaining fun and games, the All About God...

GreyWolf 13.04.14 8:48am
Al OPecia
Teacher Fails Student

Dayvon Terrell of Detroit, Michigan, was recently failed by his third grade teacher, Mrs. Deborah Leigh. "Unfortunately, Davyon did not meet the standardized reading comprehension benchmark," Ms....

bengedrink 12.04.14 11:07pm
Feminists demand Isle of Man change to Isle of Gender Neutral 5
camz 12.04.14 10:48pm
Delete the paedophile, not the photos, say experts

After several days of furious debate regarding the retention of explicit material on a paedophile's laptop, a cleaning lady at an NHS hospital has offered a forensic examination of all sensible...

Squudge 12.04.14 9:05pm
Journalistic talent wasting as Ukraine Crisis fails to worsen for second week

Journalists are finding themselves increasingly sidelined as Russia's actions continue to be increasingly un-newsworthy., "We are dying on the vine out here." commented one reporter "Every day I see...

gaijintendo 12.04.14 7:30pm
Australian PM running out of time to leverage more publicity from missing plane 0
throngsman 12.04.14 5:51pm
Parkinsons' charity collector fined for shaking tin. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 12.04.14 5:01pm
Prince Williams wows NZ crowd in bespoke navy

Impressing the crowds in New Zealand yesterday, Prince William has spoken out about his fashion choices in a bid to divert attention from his wife. The prince is said to favour handmade suits from...

Coco 12.04.14 2:15pm
Gove praises Pakistan nursery education after 9 month old baby planned murder

No more soon because he has been acquitted...

Not Amused 12.04.14 1:56pm
Not Amused
Putin About to Send in 40,000 Bailiffs for Unpaid Gas Bill

The Russian Parliament has denied any inference that an invasion of the Ukraine is imminent, “These are only bailiffs” said Mr Lavrov, “Perhaps a bit better equipped than usual, but there are...

Rumour Control 12.04.14 1:07pm
Rumour Control
The Verve accused of peddling inadequate flu-remedy

The songwriter Richard Ashcroft and his band have come under close scrutiny with regards their connection between 90s rock music and the UK stockpiling £473m of Tamiflu in 2006. The Cochrane...

Wrenfoe 12.04.14 12:48pm
Bootle man to marry lab-grown vagina

A 47 year old has become the first man in Britain to marry a lab-grown vagina in a short civil ceremony held in Liverpool. Peter Nicholas first met Fanny at a drinks reception in a local university...

Underconstruction 12.04.14 12:02pm
Mo Farrah to run London marathon dressed as Errol Brown 0
Underconstruction 12.04.14 11:35am
PM says 'Easter more than just "chocolate eggs" as He Nails Bunnies to Crosses 2
Dun Dunkin 12.04.14 10:39am
Facebook outsourced to Neighbourhood Watch

With the social-media giant's market share set to contract over the next ten years, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has been on the look out for a 'low tech, high revenue' solution to his insatiable...

KateWritesStuff 12.04.14 10:33am
Pistorius defence in weekend hunt for tiny black gloves and a racist policeman.

Well they might have trouble finding the 2nd one in South Africa. More soon...

MADJEZ 12.04.14 9:41am
Cabinet ministers to be replaced by lab-grown cunts 2
pere floza 12.04.14 9:35am
Mystery white substance in Blue singers car just dried spunk say police.

More rumours soon...

MADJEZ 12.04.14 9:13am
Man on trial for murder of girlfriend lodges early appeal against verdict 0
GingerClive 12.04.14 9:01am
Vag lab scientists 'undecided where to put clitoris' 0
pere floza 12.04.14 9:00am
pere floza
Milliband publicly announces his woeful ignorance of Benjamin Disraeli. 0
Maverick 12.04.14 8:10am
America Can't Find Its Glasses

After a night of heavy drinking, America seems to have misplaced its glasses. Even though they were definitely right here on the table when America went to bed, the elusive pair of spectacles remain...

bengedrink 12.04.14 4:23am
Allergist Aroused by Pollen Count Forecast

This week’s forecast for sky high pollen counts have given local allergist Peter Markenson, MD cause for celebration. "When those pollen counts get into the quadruple digits, I just can’t help...

bengedrink 11.04.14 10:00pm
Noah having second thoughts about bringing Crowes on to the ark. 0
Maverick 11.04.14 9:46pm
"Overwhelming demand" for lab grown vaginas from banking and political sectors. 0
Maverick 11.04.14 9:21pm
Catholic church comes out against slave trafficking - no news yet on paedophilia 4
blacklesbianandproudofit 11.04.14 8:43pm
Porn cinema closed : "Penis Growing Lab" claims rejected 0
camz 11.04.14 7:47pm