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Cash-strapped police force reduced to following criminals on Twitter 0
sydalg 04.03.13 2:47am
Palace on security alert after rumours Queen about to fake own death 0
sydalg 04.03.13 2:34am
Immodium gets Royal Warrant

hats Jeni B...

Ironduke 04.03.13 1:35am
UKIP leader Nigel Farage denies Transylvanian origins

UKIP leader Nigel Farage has vehemently denied any ancestral link with Transylvania following speculative investigations by researchers from the TV series Who Do You Think You Are? The claims arose...

Dick Everyman 04.03.13 12:07am
Dick Everyman
Ticker sub withdrawn due to being poor quality crap.

Move right along please...

wallster 03.03.13 11:44pm
Traces of porky pies found in Chris Huhne

“We can’t believe it” said a DNA tester “this is one of the highest readings we’ve ever had, even from a politician.”...

Reg Herring 03.03.13 11:33pm
Tess Goes
Newspeak Breaking News

newspeak NewsPeak on BREAKING NEWS - B-re-a-King news 4 the prince of R they all cracking apart like a crack-in-gap-art? (humour hum-Our song : by royal warRant from Di-A-tribe diatribe -...

politics1uk 03.03.13 11:23pm
Excitement mounts at prospect of a 'Kinder Egg Pope'

A new pope may emerge miraculously from an Easter Kinder Egg according to Vatican sources. The possibility of an unprecedented 'Kinder Egg Pope' is growing as controversy mounts over the...

roybland 03.03.13 11:20pm
Cardinal sins to be reclassified as sub-standard virtues

The apology by Cardinal Keith O'Brien in response to non-specific allegations, where he admitted to below-standard sexual conduct, has inspired a review of offences. HR, ecumenical and legal...

Squudge 03.03.13 11:13pm
Chancellor announces spare organ tax

In a pre-budget speech the Chancellor announced plans for a spare organ tax on those in social housing. Under the plans, any individual who has more than one of any organ will be required to pay...

Sherlockhouse 03.03.13 10:59pm
Church reform: all sex scandals to involve adult heterosexuals by 2025 0
sydalg 03.03.13 10:41pm
"One's 'twos' are like One's 'ones'"

God I can pour this rubbish out...

Perks 03.03.13 10:32pm
Cardinal Keith O'Brien using platform to brag about "sexual conquests"

Earlier today Cardinal Keith O'Brien used his public platform to brag about his past conquests, he took to the microphone and said the following "I wish to take this opportunity to admit that there...

confuzzled 03.03.13 10:26pm
Chinese tourist disappointed in visit to Finland 0
Dick Everyman 03.03.13 9:34pm
Dick Everyman
Prince Charles recommends arsenic as cure for gastroenteritis 0
roybland 03.03.13 9:06pm
Cameron denies party 'lurching towards the Reich' 3
tedweasel 03.03.13 9:04pm
Dick Everyman
Queen's Jedwood tattoo on bum sees doctors 'Aghast around her right arse' cheek

Shoot me now...

Perks 03.03.13 8:43pm
PM heaps praises on costly back-2-work scheme

The PM congratulated his Ministers on the successes of the, much-publicised return to work programs, designed to help the long-term unemployed, those changing their skill-set, some of which have...

hero2zero 03.03.13 8:42pm
Royal watchers concerned about Puke of Edinburgh 5
nickb 03.03.13 8:39pm
Tess Goes
Sir Ranulph Fiennes - Antartic Challenge was to 'qualify for disability benefit' 1
custard cream 03.03.13 7:59pm
New Emirates statue inspired by Arsenal defence 0
custard cream 03.03.13 7:59pm
custard cream
Duke admits Queen 'Suffering from Delhi Belly' 1
antharrison 03.03.13 7:45pm
She wants a boyfriend, and who won't do it (?), we ask

A poor lass in one part of the country can't, she says, get a boyfriend, and is tying to. Jennifer Blatsford of Stoke has been on the hunt for a man for 16 weeks - ! - and has gone through it all. ...

Mik Bulk 03.03.13 7:39pm
Mik Bulk
Rome might replace celibacy with “halibucy”

Catholic priests could in future be required to swear an oath that forbids the consumption of halibut, according to an experimental policy suggested by a small cohort of cardinals who could...

nickb 03.03.13 7:18pm
Queen hospital latest - palace rule out pregnancy 0
Perks 03.03.13 7:11pm
Benitez to become interim Pope 0
Sherlockhouse 03.03.13 6:36pm
Prince Charming arrested in Operation Yewtree

Prince Charming today became the latest high profile figure to be arrested by officers working on cases of historic sexual abuse. It is believed that Mr Charming is accused of two counts of sexual...

Sherlockhouse 03.03.13 6:26pm
Defence secretary says poor people must do more to help kill poor people

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond says that poor people in Britain should do more to help to kill poor people in other countries by taking a cut in their welfare benefits. 'We have to look at the...

roybland 03.03.13 5:54pm
Sinkhole victim 'embarrassed' moments before ground opened up and swallowed him 5
Idiot 03.03.13 5:26pm
Obama and Boehner to fight in Epic Lightsaber Duel

U.S. President Barack Obama is to fight leading House Republican John Boehner in "an epic lightsaber duel," to resolve the ongoing budget impasse once and for all, a White House spokesman has...

K.J. Shine 03.03.13 3:48pm