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French chefs approach New Jersey for freshly barbecued meat 0
Sinnick 3 years
Aggression flavoured custard to be marketed as "Angry Birds" 12
Quaz 3 years

It's said to be quite thick skinned...

9/11 Widow Admits, Apologises, After Criticising Mark Wahlberg Career Decisions 0
thisisall1word 3 years

there's a sub here - which I am too ill to write right now kinda think the horse has bolted already but...

‘I got too Simon Cowell,’ cock admits 1
Clarky 3 years

Accused of strutting about, chest puffed out and ridiculous, unnaturally coloured crest a-quiver on his head, a bantam cock called Bertram has confessed he might have been behaving ‘a bit too much...

Abortion clinics to promote two-for-one deal with new TV ads. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Paul Daniels' accident with a Power Saw will not affect his career. 0
rob box 3 years

Thankfully, he has as much talent left in his entire body as other entertainers have in the end of their little finger...

Paul Daniels shows off his slice of hand 0
medici2471 3 years
Masturbation can impair eyesight, doctors claim 1
Scroat 3 years

[size=8]More soon[/size]...

Man arrested for tattooing own birthday on children's forearms 2
3 years
Osborne admits to "dire financial position" 0
Mister F 3 years

Chancellor George Osborne has admitted that the economy is in a much worse shape now than a year ago, due largely to Eric pickles latest expense claim for £2.73 for a sausage roll from M&S,...

Paul Daniels' nose blockage reaches crisis following finger loss 0
apepper 3 years

More follows...

Paul Daniels and Finger end trial separation. 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Debbie McGhee 'delighted' as Paul Daniels' finger successfully reattached. 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

No more soon....

'Ain't that the darndest thing? I got a nail in ma brain.' 2
Clarky 3 years

A Chicago man didn't notice he'd shot a nail into his brain until doctors X-rayed his skull. 'He was talking kinda funny and slurring his words and all,' said his girlfriend Sally Mae Johnson, 'So we...

Man defies gravity with duck chariot. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Gingrich ahead in South Carolina after fathering 12% of population 1
3 years

Randy presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich has surged to a happy ending in South Carolina, after fathering a 'statistically significant' percentage of the voters. Gingrich took an anti-abortion,...

Ed Miliband 'still hopeful' of endorsement from Chuck Norris 0
3 years
German scholars point out that Mitt Romney translates as “With Essex marsh” 3
virtuallywill 3 years
Historians fail to find any evidence of Chris Martin having ruled the world. 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Disappointment For Scientists As Super-Computer Fails To Go Mad. 1
sredni vashta 3 years
Cosmic surgeon to give Aquarius a nose job and bigger tits 2
Immunis 3 years
Pub fights "so much more vivid" when wearing 3D glasses 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Government delighted to find £2.,73p more than expected in bank account, 0
Mister F 3 years

The chancellor George Osborne has spoken of his joy at the bank error which left the United kingdom with a surplus of £2.73. "For one moment I actually thought our austerity measures were working"...

Migrant scrounger story upstaged as distraction by Gary Glitter story 0
Drylaw 3 years
Department of Environment to cull humans in TB affected area 0
Immunis 3 years

In the latest random attempt to stop nature doing what it will, the department of the environment has decided to kill all the humans in a 10 mile radius from Langport in Somerset to halt the spread...

Online Piracy Bill hijacked by Somalian hackers 1
brownpaperreporter 3 years
BMW & AUDI to do away with door mirrors. "They never use them" says spokesman. 6
Al McHogan 3 years

. . . on reflection...

Lord Vader to be stripped of his title, Government announce. 3
bonjonelson 3 years
German twitter users complain 140 characters 'barely enough for an adverb' 1
exigo 3 years
Gary Glitter a shining example to us all, says Pope 0
Shandy 3 years

The Pope has spoken of his admiration and respect of Glitter's recent conduct, as an example of 'how all of us can use strange clothing, repetitive songs, and erratic behavior, in order to distract,...