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First Draft of the Crimean Referendum Leaked

The proposed referendum on Crimea has been leaked, amid the controversy that the referendum is likely to be unconstitutional, whereas invasion and enforced occupation isn't, at least according to...

throngsman 06.03.14 6:29pm
Bizarre Colour Co-Ordination in the Kremlin Reveals Czarist Mindset

Sarah Palin has said that the Kremlin Buildings have been painted up in a very whacky fashion, she says that she has told them about it years ago, but no one had taken any notice. She added that it...

Guillermo De Snookio 06.03.14 5:32pm
Guillermo De Snookio
Woman only wanted frozen sperm because of Magnum wrapper claims doctor. 0
MADJEZ 06.03.14 4:57pm
Frozen sperm fight. Not the most exciting claims promotor. 0
MADJEZ 06.03.14 4:55pm
New e-sausage offers cancer-free protein 0
sydalg 06.03.14 4:51pm
BBC Four to adopt ‘cooler approach’ to reel in BBC Three viewers

In light of the BBC’s controversial decision to drop BBC Three from its schedules, the more conservative BBC Four have announced plans to capitalise on the decision by adopting a ‘fresher and...

Jesus H 06.03.14 4:51pm
Jesus H
BBC3 closure will save 30 million. Or £3000 per viewer. 0
MADJEZ 06.03.14 4:40pm
Upper Class object to being called Middle Class for Employing Foreign Nannies

"One prefers the term 'wealthy metropolitan elite'. Middle class pay taxes we don't"...

Dun Dunkin 06.03.14 4:34pm
Dun Dunkin
Former porn star claims high-protein diet gave her throat cancer. 0
MADJEZ 06.03.14 4:18pm
Horse of Lords to be Remaned Following Horrific Typos 0
BewsNiscuit 06.03.14 3:17pm
UK sanctions russian leaders: all oligarchs to be given a premier league fooclub

In a dramatic turn of events, the UK government announced that it had finally come up with sanction policy that was considered acceptable -yet likely to bring down the russian government. In this,...

steve_l 06.03.14 3:04pm
British Media Bosses Worried about Uk Staff Catching 'Russian Truth Disease'

Recently russian presenters began denouncing the propaganda they were forced to speak. 'If this catches on in the uk we're sunk' said one insider. Anyone catching 'Crimeaitis' should be isolated...

Dun Dunkin 06.03.14 2:19pm
Dun Dunkin
Russia uses Drones in Crimea-they just voted! 0
Dun Dunkin 06.03.14 2:12pm
Dun Dunkin
EU and NATO warn Russia they must not advance into Ukraine while anyone looks.

The EU and NATO have issued a joint statement this morning reminding Russia of it's international obligations in that it's clearly against international rules to move armed forces into another...

bonjonelson 06.03.14 2:03pm
Man guilty of sex with a dog placed on Crufts risk register 0
custard cream 06.03.14 1:24pm
custard cream
International Rescue announces Thunderbird 3 is to be dropped from the service

Speaking earlier from Tracy Island, Jeff Tracey says, "It is part of a wide ranging cost saving initiative. With cut backs in the space programmes around the world there is no longer a need for deep...

Ian Searle 06.03.14 1:20pm
Deadly new virus kills thousands

One or two scientists have expressed concern about the viral epidemic that is sweeping through the UK killing thousands of people. The virus has received little publicity but at least one doctor has...

blacklesbianandproudofit 06.03.14 12:55pm
Immigrants complain that the middle classes ‘are too populous’

Immigrant leaders have complained today in an influential publication that too many people are in the middle classes. Their article alleges that the large amount of professional white collar workers...

throngsman 06.03.14 12:51pm
Salmond hails celebrity endorsement as Groundskeeper Willie backs Yes vote 0
bookiesfriend 06.03.14 12:18pm
G8 Conference - Western Leaders to be Equipped with Bonio Defence.

In case there is a repeat of Putin’s tactic to intimidate western politicians by use of his large hound, the Labrador, Koni, they are to be issued with large packs of Bonio and dog chews laced with...

Guillermo De Snookio 06.03.14 12:10pm
Guillermo De Snookio
Herge’s Adventures of Putin – The Crimean Takeover

Vladimir, accompanied by his loveable hound Koni, attempts to adjust the voting system by the use Russian nationals disguised as Ukranians. Captain Haddockski attempts to get the Ukranian Navy to...

Guillermo De Snookio 06.03.14 12:07pm
Guillermo De Snookio
Crispy bacon overtakes napalm as favourite smell in the morning... 0
Tripod 06.03.14 12:06pm
House of Lords to be Renamed

A weighty issue has arisen in Westminster as the Obesity Bill receives its second reading today following a Labour amendment temporarily to rename the second chamber. The move is intended to...

BewsNiscuit 06.03.14 11:47am
Next series of apprentice to be half usual length

More to follow...

apepper 06.03.14 11:26am
Dog bone-er gets suspended sentence 0
roybland 06.03.14 11:05am
‘Disloyal’ Waitrose Customer sent to Coventry...

Frank Beer, manager of the Kenilworth branch of Waitrose, has announced an “irrevocable split” between the upmarket store and once-regular customer, Mrs Helen Chadwick. The citation, available to...

Tripod 06.03.14 11:04am
China's National Congress orders ban on Homeopathic contraception

China's Premier has announced a blanket ban "without mercy" on the widespread use of homeopathic contraception. Opening the annual parliamentary session in Beijing, President Xi Jinping has...

Lenny Bee 06.03.14 10:59am
Lenny Bee
Princes Andrew and Edward to tour Job Centres

“It is felt they will feel right at home amongst layabout dole spongers” said a Royal spokesperson. At each Job Centre outlet the princes will check for jobs involving walking about, waving at...

Damien_H 06.03.14 10:10am
e-Petition launched to save Somerset Wetlands from being drained

Once again the needs of commerce are being put above the existence of an established wetland ecology according to a Green pressure group "Save our heritage". "Just because there are thousands of...

captainscarlet 06.03.14 9:56am
Error 404 "Found" Again

More errors soon...

BewsNiscuit 06.03.14 9:51am