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Farage tells UKIP "Go back to your constituencies, and prepare for government"

Yes, I'm old enough to remember that one...

DorsetBoy 25.05.14 11:15pm
Far-right success sees Nazis considering European reunion tour

Hopefully no more...

James Pluside 25.05.14 10:35pm
Following UKIP coverage, 4th placed Arsenal claim Premiership "victory". 8
Sir Lupus 25.05.14 10:00pm
Al OPecia
UKIP and Front National to form Nazi Tribute band. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 25.05.14 9:59pm
Al OPecia
Massive rise in deaths by stroke as apostrophe bores drone on. 5
Al OPecia 25.05.14 9:37pm
Gove adds Lib Dem 2010 manifesto to GCSE great works of British fiction list

Despotic advocate of doing things his way and much loved education czar Mike Gove has stirred up a coalition frenzy by replacing the existing diverse thought provoking English Literature reading list...

spoole2112 25.05.14 9:20pm
Catching your penis in your zipper helps put UKIP result in perspective

Medical and political experts are advising the British public to trap their genitals in a vice-like device, to enable 'a measured response' to Nigel Farage's poll success. While many in the media...

Wrenfoe 25.05.14 8:45pm
EU vote won by Putin 0
Dun Dunkin 25.05.14 7:44pm
Dun Dunkin
GCSEs to be replaced with Trial By Combat

The winner gets to try to pull the sword from the stone...

Dun Dunkin 25.05.14 7:39pm
Dun Dunkin
Gove Latest -All Schools to Practice Penalty Shootouts on a Sunday

In an attempt to improve England's penalty shootout success there will be compulsory shoot out practice on a Sunday after singing songs from a new English national songbook...

Dun Dunkin 25.05.14 7:37pm
Dun Dunkin
Putin vows to turn up the heat on Poroshenko 0
Bigglesworth 25.05.14 7:25pm
Commonwealth Torch welcome home party gets out of hand 0
custard cream 25.05.14 7:14pm
custard cream
Asian sex gang restaurant successfully turned around thanks to Gordon Ramsay

An Asian takeaway restaurant that was repeatedly failing its customers by plying them with alcohol and having sex with them has won its first Michelin star thanks to a strictly hands-on approach by...

Gary Stanton 25.05.14 6:56pm
Gove uses the Luger on school literature 0
Bigglesworth 25.05.14 6:09pm
Caller tells talk radio host 'I'm no snooty metropolitan elitist but....' 0
ronseal 25.05.14 4:39pm
British GCSE English students to study "Who let the Gods out?". More soon.

There you go Maz, another pint owed...

Al OPecia 25.05.14 4:37pm
Al OPecia
Cliff Richard new Andy Murray tennis coach

“To put my opponents off, Cliff has also offered to sing his hits when we change ends” said a delighted Andy “I know it’s not cricket, but then again tennis is not cricket. Cricket is boring,...

farmer giles 25.05.14 4:37pm
farmer giles
Farage warns UK may be overrun by deluge of ravishing French beauties 0
cinquecento 25.05.14 3:48pm
Farage offers to do a deal with Cameron, provided he takes the Tories off of the

market immediately...

Al OPecia 25.05.14 3:44pm
Al OPecia
Vatican denies mix-up as Pope prays at Basildon wall

More to follow...

apepper 25.05.14 3:34pm
If LibDem leader goes, coalition ‘won’t have a Clegg to stand on’ 0
farmer giles 25.05.14 3:12pm
farmer giles
Belfast's first Green councillor not just an unripe Orangeman. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 25.05.14 2:59pm
Ref Minor
RSPB welcomes Gove's 'mockingbird' ban 0
roybland 25.05.14 12:21pm
Duncan Smith launches new "Vagabonds Allowance"

Ian Duncan Smith today unveiled the new Vagabonds Allowance, which is set to replace the current Jobseekers Allowance., The new benefit which will cost the hardworking taxpayer half of what JSA...

flash1189 25.05.14 11:45am
Deleted 0
flash1189 25.05.14 11:16am
"Democracy, doesn't it just piss you off?" say comedians

"We said Farage was a comedian, but who's laughing now?" they ask. Well quite a lot of people as it happens, shut that door...

vulture1 25.05.14 11:10am
Save the Clegg Campaign Gets into Top Gear.

The European Clegg, a rare sight at election winning parties these days, is facing extinction. Some say the habitat for the European Clegg is declining as beardy sandal people are being replaced with...

Dun Dunkin 25.05.14 10:58am
Dun Dunkin
Get the Ferage look with a UKIP makeover this summer

Weird suits, fags and pint in hand are the in thing this summer for politicians. Expect the craze to sweep the nation. Although its mainly migrants who sweep the nation...

Dun Dunkin 25.05.14 10:50am
Dun Dunkin
Lib Dem's: No, it would be monstrous to stop now 0
Bigglesworth 25.05.14 10:19am
British Pride In Producing Homicidal Maniacs As Good As Anyone Else's 1
Titus 25.05.14 8:55am