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As the Queen abdicates, Charles accepts his royal destiny...

“I announce my abdication from the throne of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, with immediate effect”, said the Queen today, as her loyal subjects huddled round their wirelesses. "My son...

1
Tripod 29.01.13 3:43pm
Son of Barnabas
Queen takes hint from Beatrix, announcing that “Britain is now a republic”... 0
Tripod 29.01.13 3:01pm
Tripod
“We listened to our fans”, says Bob Geldof, denying Boomtown Rats reunion... 0
Tripod 29.01.13 2:30pm
Tripod
Programme Management Conference date unexpectedly brought forward

The Annual Conference for Programme Management professionals, originally scheduled for June 2013, is now to take place in March. It is understood that Conference organisers The International...

8
Midfield Diamond 29.01.13 2:24pm
Quaz
Man stays up all night to photograph Prince Harry

A man, believed to be close to tasty nail technician, Pimmy 'Pimms' Anstruther, was up all night yesterday waiting for Prince Harry to leave a rave in Fulham. Vic Lubbock, a freelance photographer...

3
29.01.13 2:15pm
On Office Workers’ Day we remember the fallen...

“This is the day”, said Kevin, a drone from Sector C, “when we remember the sacrifices made by office workers, and the dangers they face each and every day at work - from frayed computer cables...

0
Tripod 29.01.13 2:12pm
Tripod
Rejected questions from new UK Citizenship Test

The Central Office of Information has published rejected questions for the new Citizenship Test for UK applicants. These include: 'What is the UK flag called at sea?' - This was rejected because...

19
custard cream 29.01.13 2:10pm
Quaz
Mali: British troops sent to train the French not to surrender. 0
MADJEZ 29.01.13 2:10pm
MADJEZ
HS2: We can't wait to get started say Indian steel firms & German train builders 0
Nowherefast 29.01.13 2:04pm
Nowherefast
Ping-Pong Cameron.....

Pulling out of Afghanistan, into Mali, and back into Afghanistan again?...

0
Jesse Bigg 29.01.13 1:38pm
Jesse Bigg
Shanklin have-a-go hero was "a complete idiot"

The family of a Shanklin, Isle of Wight man, who was injured last night after he tried to stop a raid on a high street jewellers, have spoken of their shame and embarassment. Lance Boyle, 71, was...

6
Son of Barnabas 29.01.13 1:36pm
Son of Barnabas
High speed link to Cloud Cuckoo Land to kick-start UK economy 2
ianslat 29.01.13 1:23pm
ginty
Gerald Scarfe apologies for "grotesque, offensive newspaper owner" 0
charlies_hat 29.01.13 1:02pm
charlies_hat
PM confirms Diversity will be part of 350 troupes set to Mali 0
One Line Only 29.01.13 1:00pm
One Line Only
Britain to send 40 trainspotters to Mali to discourage extremism

no more bad virgin jokes ever...

0
Not Amused 29.01.13 12:54pm
Not Amused
X-Factor 2013: Competitors to face 'Mexican Cantina Tour' challenge 0
Nowherefast 29.01.13 11:53am
Nowherefast
Queen Elizabeth II to abdicate for ‘talented son’ - decides to adopt

After hearing that Dutch Monarch, Queen Beatrix, was abdicating in favour of her ‘talented son’, Queen Elizabeth II revealed that she is also considering such a plan, and has asked advisors...

0
Yikes 29.01.13 10:28am
Yikes
Open University lecturers rescued from BBC tunnel

A police operation is underway at Shepherd's Bush today following the discovery of a tunnel connecting BBC1, BBC2 and the other terrestrial channels. It is thought that up to 50 Open University...

1
Not Amused 29.01.13 10:20am
Not Amused
Fears of influx of migrants to Eric Pickles' arse

Tens of thousands of migrants could move to Eric Pickles' arse when temporary curbs on 29 million Romanian and Bulgarian nationals right to live and work up the Communities Secretary's bottom expire...

2
roybland 29.01.13 9:35am
Squudge
82% of Brits Would Vote to Succeed from Reality, Says Poll

A recent poll carried out by MORI for the campaign for Unreal Life has discovered that 82% of British adults would vote to succeed from reality and live in a fantasy world of their own making. The...

10
Quaz 29.01.13 1:26am
Quaz
Government admit HS2 rail may take decades after using a high 'speed dealer' 0
One Line Only 29.01.13 12:24am
One Line Only
List of stations where customers can wait for delayed HS2 trains announced

The government has unveiled details of the next phase of the HS2 high-speed rail network, revealing which stations rail passengers in Northern England will be left waiting at while faster trains than...

9
Vertically Challenged Giant 28.01.13 11:20pm
Squudge
New Motorways Planned for High Speed Replacement Bus Service 0
Titus 28.01.13 11:19pm
Titus
Prince Charles reminds himself to stop skim-reading BBC News headlines 0
DrTurmoil 28.01.13 11:14pm
DrTurmoil
UK Borders Agency accused of black hole in paperwork

The UK Border Agency (UKBA) has today admitted that it has been using the Channel Tunnel as a storage facility for immigrants, after complaints from Eurostar. Some 14,000 applicants, growing at a...

6
Squudge 28.01.13 11:10pm
sponge finger
Korma Chameleon

A Winchester man has complained to no one in particular after being sacked from a local tribute band. Sebastian Poff, a town and planning officer for the local area was dismissed after missing...

1
topfotogmw 28.01.13 10:57pm
Squudge
Taking Cue From National Rifle Association, U.S. Airlines to Arm Passengers

In a move that has shocked many, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration announced last week that they will now be abolishing airport security measures, and instead will arm all passengers...

2
28.01.13 10:51pm
abauer2
Channel Tunnel Replacement Bus Service Encounters Technical Problems 1
Titus 28.01.13 10:46pm
Squudge
Irainian space program hopes to have woman in space by 2525 1
Scronnyglonkle 28.01.13 10:42pm
Squudge
Episodes of Miranda to be shown to Bulgarians to discourage UK migration 3
custard cream 28.01.13 10:36pm
Squudge