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GP struck off for not telling patients to lose weight and drink less 5
Midfield Diamond 3 years

A disgraced doctor in rural Cambridgeshire who neglected to advise some of his patients to go on a diet and cut down on their alcohol intake has been struck off the medical register. The General...

Office manager using green ink and messenger bag in new round of affectations. 0
Maverick 3 years
Single currency supporters to replace the phrase 'spend a penny' with 'euronate' 1
Smart Alex 3 years
If Rap Songs Really Told It Like It Is 0
3 years

They rap on and on, but those 'songs' the rappers spill from their lips and their hips just seem to go in circles that lead nowhere. Isn't it time they finally listened to non-rap brother Aaron...

NHS to update Waiting Room onscreen displays 16
Sinnick 3 years

[thanks to Midfield Diamond for the idea - maybe we can squeeze a collective Left Alert out of this ? or just have a laugh ] Following criticism that their Waiting Room displays are being ignored,...

Laxative inventor flushed with pride 0
cinquecento 3 years
Bin Laden may have been planning delivery meal 0
MrBen 3 years

The White House has released the strongest evidence yet that Osama Bin Laden may have been planning to order a take-away meal on the evening of his death at the hands of US Navy Seals., US...

General public not interested in the 'public interest' 0
MrBen 3 years
Rodeotherapy cures cowboy's cancer 3
Haywood Manley 3 years
Coca Cola unveil Olympic missile tail-fin design 0
MrBen 3 years

Olympic sponsors Coca-Cola have stuck with tradition to unveil what they describe as "the most stylish surface to air missile of the generation"., The soft-drinks company is keen to deliver the...

Olympic SAM accidentally shoots down swan over Hyde Park 0
grottymonty 3 years
CERN physicist arrested in Al Qaeda plot to implode universe 1
bonjonelson 3 years

French police have charged an Algerian physicist working at the CERN research institute with terrorism offences after he allegedly plotted with Al Qaeda to implode the entire universe. The physicist...

Man awarded OBE for "Services to stating the bleeding obvious" 3
seymour totti 3 years

Graham Swanson, a 46yd old mechanic from Swanley, has been rewarded for "Services to stating the bleeding obvious". His wife, Helen, said "Each year on the 4th of May, he wakes me up with a wink and...

Battersea Drog's home? 0
Screenie 3 years
Widdicombe -in-the-moor voted in favour of having an elected Old Grey Mare 1
Ian Searle 3 years

Uncle Tom Cobbley is delighted. Moor Soon...

Secret Service Fails To Keep Whore-Mongering Secret 4
daneade 3 years

President Obama ordered a full-scale enquiry into the professionalism of the Secret Service after a group of them failed to do what millions of ordinary American men do everyday – keep their visits...

Cameron sees no solution to issues of low polling and Argentinian aggression 0
Yikes 3 years

British Prime Minister David Cameron was left scratching his head after a week from hell which has seen the Tories plunge in the polls, and Argentina ramp up its efforts to lay claim to the Falklands...

Prince Harry ‘can’t wait’ to ‘fuck up’ the Taleban 1
daneade 3 years

Fun-loving Prince Harry has started an amusing war of words with the Taleban before his impending deployment to Afghanistan as an Apache Chopper Pilot., Harry used to Twitter to taunt the Taleban,...

Mass Redundancies in CIA After Success of 'Operation Facebook 0
daneade 3 years

The CIA announced mass lay-offs of agents whose job it was to snoop on everyday citizens minding their own business. After undercover spook geek Mark Zuckerberg launched their Facebook program users...

Fame ‘not all it’s cracked up to be’ – Kony 2012 0
daneade 3 years

War-mongering, limb-hacking youth employment champion Joseph Kony says his new found fame has not been quite the chick magnet bling bonanza he was hoping for. ‘I’m well fucked off’, said Kony...

Mexican Government Announces Unconditional Surrender In Drug War 0
daneade 3 years

The Mexican Government has formally ceded control of Mexico to the Zetas Drug Cartel in an elaborate surrender ceremony at leader Carlos Jimenez’s luxury Cancun mansion. The Government fought...

Somali Pirates Split Into Traditionalist Faction 0
daneade 3 years

A group of conservative Somali pirates have split from the mainstream complaining of a lack of recognition of long-established pirate conventions. Spokesman Mohamed ‘Long John’ Sabbelah said his...

Apple Demands An End To The End Of Slavery 0
daneade 3 years

Apple today warned that its massively obscene profits would be in jeopardy of not being as massive unless the international ban on slavery was lifted at once. Top Executives have already drawn up...

Breivik says ‘It Was Self Defense.’ Norway says ‘You Fucking What?’ 0
daneade 3 years

Mass killer Anders Brievik made one of the most unconvincing arguments of self-defense in modern criminal history at his trial in Oslo, Norway. When told of his defense strategy, the Judge – in a...

Chen Guangcheng to 'consider all options' 0
Bonaparte Shandy 3 years

Chinese dissident Chen Guangcheng can apply to study abroad, potentially indicating a way out of the diplomatic crisis with the US over him. The University of Cumbria is believed to be the UK...

Chinese dissident "now fancies a world cruise". 0
Boutros 3 years
"It won’t bloody flush”, reports woman trapped in dinner party toilet. 2
DrTurmoil 3 years

Amy Higgins was in a race against time with the cistern of a downstairs lavatory in Surrey yesterday, after a single flush at an intimate dinner party for six proved itself not up to the job....

Geography Teacher Chooses Pen For 2012 A Level Marking 2
Bonaparte Shandy 3 years

Influential Geograpy teacher Dereck Jepson has made his annual choice of marking pen for the 2012 A Level examination season. Revealing the much anticipated choice on his blog 'Geography Makes the...

Government under pressure to consult wives on web porn opt-in measure 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Borrowers reject ‘downturn blame claim’ from the big people 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years