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Soyuz Space team to take over UK Rail network

The government today announced that a tam from the Soyuz Space mission is to take over the Rail network., A Government spokesman said " I f anyone can cut a journey time down from 2 days to six...

0
tonyhill 29.03.13 11:45am
tonyhill
Sixty-per cent of Glastonbury ticket holders will die before June

People who were unlucky in trying to buy tickets for this year's Glastonbury Festival may get another chance - because sixty-per cent of those who got tickets are so old they are expected to die...

0
roybland 29.03.13 11:34am
roybland
Arrest of 82 yr old prompts forensic examination of 'Two Little Boys' lyrics 0
topfotogmw 29.03.13 11:31am
topfotogmw
Archbishop of Canterbury offers Maundy full body oil massage 5
pere floza 29.03.13 11:22am
deceangli
Concerns over NHS non-emergency line: 'Some people still getting through'

A spokesman for the NHS today revealed concerns about the new non-emergency 111 line. 'We're still having problems with it,' he admitted. 'In trials, some people are still able to get through,...

7
John Wiltshire 29.03.13 11:11am
Al OPecia
EU-forced closure of Cyprus' Haloumi Bank leaves customers 'cheesed off'. 1
jimmydodger 29.03.13 10:32am
Squudge
Journalists ask police: 'Can you tell us who it is yet?' 0
fink 29.03.13 10:28am
fink
North Korea launches "Toothless Rhetoric" Missile at rest of world. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 29.03.13 10:24am
Al OPecia
Merkel launches 'Frank Bank' as final solution to Eurozone crisis

In the wake of financial woes in the Eurozone, it has now been confirmed that Angela Merkel has launched a new German led European 'Frank Bank' with handy new services to assist citizens and...

19
Squudge 29.03.13 10:20am
Squudge
Mandella & Pope Benedict To Attend Glastonbury "Only If Stones Are Well Enough" 0
Titus 29.03.13 9:19am
Titus
New 666 advice line is a 'total nightmare' say health service users 6
Dick Everyman 29.03.13 8:36am
Squudge
Police Enquiry finds President Kennedy 'died of natural causes'

An exhasutive enquiry by the same top police specialists who investigated the death of Boris Berezovsky have concluded that President John Kennedy died of natural causes in Dallas in November 1963....

5
John Wiltshire 29.03.13 8:19am
Squudge
Met Office advise 'have you tried turning it off and on again?' 0
AdrianJ 29.03.13 6:58am
AdrianJ
Kangaroo claims to have been tied down and "interfered with" for sport. 0
Maverick 29.03.13 6:48am
Maverick
3D printer creates first 3D printer 0
Dumbnews 29.03.13 1:32am
Dumbnews
Rolling Stones road crew to include untertaker

For Lee Anthony, 39, it's a dream come true. He has gone straight from polishing coffins in Heathley's Funeral Home in Croydon to touring with his favorite band and getting paid for it. With all of...

1
sydalg 29.03.13 1:07am
writinginbsl
SAS in Bizarre Extraction Plan

'Not even Tony Mendez could have dreamed this one up’ said source Nick Stone. In an attempt to pay off some of the UK national debt, David Cameron entered into a secret agreement with former US...

3
Big Ben 29.03.13 12:24am
Big Ben
Crisis Comparison Site Comparethemerkel.com Opens Today

"A new way to check whether your banking crisis is any worse than the next country's" - Simples!...

1
BewsNiscuit 29.03.13 12:09am
Big Ben
Rolling Stones to release new single "Time is not on my side". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 28.03.13 11:59pm
Al OPecia
The Rolling Stones announce just can't get no Sanatogen 1
irreverendJ 28.03.13 11:58pm
Al OPecia
Liverpool Harvester gets a Michelin Star

Staff at a Liverpool based Harvester restuarant were amazed at the announcement yesterday that they had won a coveted Michelin Star. Head Chef, Simon Gillespie who has trained under some of the...

3
Dick Everyman 28.03.13 11:54pm
Dick Everyman
Pope accused of podiaphilia. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 28.03.13 10:21pm
dominic_mcg
Joy as thousands discover Bedroom Tax will bring them below the Benefit Cap 0
Iscariot 28.03.13 10:16pm
Iscariot
Easter shock as Jesus accused of bereavement leave scam

In a development that could dent Jesus’ “Mr Perfect” image, archaeologists today announced that they have found his personal file from his job as a carpenter with the Jerusalem Nailers. Leader...

7
Yikes 28.03.13 9:49pm
Yikes
Beer duty reduction blamed for binge drinking outbreak

With over half the community on long-term sickness benefits, regulars of Wetherspoon’s Picture House pub in Ebbw Vale normally have to limit themselves to only six or seven pints during the early...

3
beau-jolly 28.03.13 9:28pm
dvo4fun
Africa promised wind-up radios for April fools day 4
Bourbon 28.03.13 8:56pm
rikkor
Chain-smoking steamboat captain on two packets a day 0
Smart Alex 28.03.13 8:46pm
Smart Alex
Cyprus mourns death of money

Banks in Cyprus re-opened today so that customers could pay their respects at the scene of their money's tragic death. The money was fatally shot on Monday by firearms officers from the German...

0
cshevlin 28.03.13 7:31pm
cshevlin
Royal Mail complains new mail delivery system is just a postcode lottery 0
custard cream 28.03.13 7:06pm
custard cream
Spate of Shop Window Manikin Thefts Feared.......

As Spare Bedroom Tax about to kick in...

0
Jesse Bigg 28.03.13 6:39pm
Jesse Bigg