The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
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Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
Check the following links for info: Guidelines for writers, Writer of the Month, Help with posting.
| Topic — Add New » | Comments | Votes | Author | Freshness |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Police amazed at improved driving standards | 0 |  |
Mr.3374 | 2 years |
|
"Hardly anyone has the red cross of shame now, our drivers are almost as good as Scotland's now, where red crosses were a very rare sight, and the drivers often subjected to abuse for being of that... |
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| French Border Agency urges FIFA to reconsider stance on Gaul line technology | 2 | |
AJT | 2 years |
| New revolutionary technology automates the bloody overthrow of the ruling order | 0 | |
StoopyDeGunt | 2 years |
|
A new computer system from Castro Solutions is to revolutionise British society - by catalysing change, enhancing the class struggle and automating the process of barricade storming, ensuring that it... |
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| Season long study by ITV commentator finds that first goal was 'very important' | 0 | |
StoopyDeGunt | 2 years |
|
A new study conducted by Matt Smith of ITV has rocked the football world to its foundations by revealing that the first goal of a football match is 'very important'. In a five year study, covering... |
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| Home Office spending cuts: CCTV in UK cities replaced by 'creepy' portraits | 0 | |
thackaray | 2 years |
|
As part of cost cutting measures, the Home Secretary announced plans to replace costly CCTV with portraits that give people the "willies" and make the ordinary public feel safer, in the knowledge... |
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| England's national team is envy of world, says press officer Alistair Campbell | 0 | |
StoopyDeGunt | 2 years |
|
Alistair Campbell, the England team's new press officer has been briefing against critics of the squad's performance. 'Listen, mate, I've been listening to people and what they say is this. England... |
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| In the event of tied leadership contest, Miliband Brothers to Roshambo | 0 | |
AJT | 2 years |
| England backlash latest: Brand Beckham takes on a new meaning | 0 | |
StoopyDeGunt | 2 years |
| UK Coalition Issues calls for "Positive thinking!" | 0 | |
hero2zero | 2 years |
|
Dave & Nick launched a Campaign For Positive Thinking today, "It could be just the thing we need to carry us through these troubled times" they told members of the press, voices a picture of... |
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| Ashley Cole latest: says Kylie Minogue is NOT the new Queen Mother | 0 | |
StoopyDeGunt | 2 years |
|
Ashley Cole has upset a whole new section of British society with a new display of barbarity. The unpopular left back has devastated Britain's Heat-reading masses by claiming that Kylie Minogue is... |
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| Ashley Cole latest: claims Gordon Brown 'Quite approachable and easy going' | 0 | |
StoopyDeGunt | 2 years |
| Ashley Cole latest: now he claims MPs' expenses justified | 0 | |
StoopyDeGunt | 2 years |
| Prince Charles says: 'I'm just like you - the ordinary people' | 3 | |
PluckyMunky | 2 years |
| CRB to investigate as Lord Mayor's trousers fall down at chidren's event. | 0 | |
pinxit | 2 years |
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'It wouldn't stand up in court'... |
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| Govt. endorses 'Oliver approach' on kids' meals. 9000 Beadles to be appointed. | 0 | |
pinxit | 2 years |
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"More?!" anon... |
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| Clarke unveils Travelodge as 'radical prison alternative'. | 0 | |
pinxit | 2 years |
|
Recidivism to be 'cut at a stroke'... |
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| ITV HD Viewers bemused | 0 | |
Zen | 2 years |
|
Why aren't England in the World cup quarter finals ? We watched then beat Germany 1-0 on ITV HD,,,,,... |
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| God does watch you wanking, quite likes it when you do that thing | 0 | |
la maga | 2 years |
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Right, I need to get off this site and go and do some work... |
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| Budget thoroughly analysed, summarised for the busy worker: Fuck you all | 0 | |
la maga | 2 years |
| Terrorists meeting secretly in Art Gallery "fidgety" about eyes following them | 0 | |
thackaray | 2 years |
| New imaging techniques allow old photos of Elephant Man to become 2D | 0 | |
thackaray | 2 years |
| "Fairy tale" castle visitors entertained by footage of Rooneys' winning goal | 0 | |
MrChigleysAunt | 2 years |
| Fire brigade send in long haired lady to rescue "Fairytale Castle" visitors... | 0 | |
virtuallywill | 2 years |
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more later... |
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| Disaster as England team's plane lands safely | 2 | |
StoopyDeGunt | 2 years |
|
The England team that crashed out of the world cup has failed to repeat the process at Heathrow Airport, touching down uneventfully at Terminal Five. 'Where's Al Qaeda when you need them?' said one... |
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| Wimbledon | 1 | |
AlexR | 2 years |
|
Pavlos Joseph spotted heading towards Serena Williams’ dressing room. More soon... |
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| Nick Clegg can wear Spain kit in comfort now | 1 | |
simonjmr | 2 years |
| Paint Manufacturers admit, “There are only seven colours”. | 9 | |
Ian Searle | 2 years |
|
An industry spokesman confessed, “All the others are just made up to sell paint.” They added, “What are Raspberry Bellini, Teal Tension and Pale Citrus anyway, they mean nothing. It’s just... |
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| Man in a quandry falls between two stools and curses thoughtless dog owners | 0 | |
brownpaperreporter | 2 years |
| RMT strikes in disarray as England crash out of World Cup | 0 | |
AndyP | 2 years |
|
The RMT were holding emergency talks today as a number of planned strikes dates no longer aligned with the remaining England Games. A tearful Bob Crow made statement earlier “After weeks of... |
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| England squad wins Daddies Sauce Team of the Year award | 0 | |
StoopyDeGunt | 2 years |
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