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Restaurants introduce Hors d'oeuvres tracking. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

This will let you know when they will be delivered. If you are not at your table when they arrive they can be left in a safe place, on a neighbouring table, or will be returned to the kitchen and...

"Twenty's plenty" says Schumacher after F1 failure. 0
JustSomeBloke 3 years

More next wek ...

Homeless may be used as street lighting 3
roybland 3 years

Homeless people may be used as street lighting under new government plans to be announced by George Osborne in Wednesday's Budget. The proposal follows the recent use of homeless people as roving...

Hundreds of injury lawyers injured at work 0
yussle 3 years

in stampede to join Bolton Wanderers supporters club...

IOW fire crew under fire, even slower than usual 0
weematt 3 years

Isle of Wight residents were more upset than normal when they learned that it took local volunteer fire officers over two hours to attend a fire at the Ryde Castle Hotel, Isle of Wight. Normally most...

Police work on theory no one broke into Millibands office, but he broke out. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

The public are warned he may be dangerous...

Return to traditional values as kids to be told if their best "not good enough" 0
quango 3 years
Panic grows as it is revealed that Earth's atmosphere is "over 78% nitrogen" 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Wife divorces barista who took his work home 1
roybland 3 years

A Cafe Nero barista who took his work too seriously is facing divorce. 'As soon as Joe arrived home from the coffee shop, he started,' his wife Jane said, 'banging the milk jug on the table,...

Authorities turn to Drogba for advice about onfield strokes 0
Drylaw 3 years
I was Peter Tatchell’s secret lover, claims woman. 0
Mrs Olly Murs 3 years

‘Peter and I had a full and loving relationship’ says Anna Carter, 48, talking for the first time of their when her 22 year relationship with pocket firebrand Peter Tatchell. ‘It was an open...

CoE to offer headquarters franchise in cost cutting move 0
weematt 3 years

Following the resignation of the Archbishop of Canterbury the Church of England is to use the franchising business model to decide where its headquarters is located. The CoE is thought to favour the...

Glimmer Of Hope After Germanys Earless Rabbit's Untimely death 0
anhodika 3 years

The death of Til The Earless Rabbit stunned a nation, gasps of horror could be heard from the Reichstag to the Danube as the unfortunate photographer wiped the unsightly step kill from his shoe. But...

Tofu rump steaks launched under brand name 'I Can't Believe It's Not Buttocks!' 2
Haywood Manley 3 years
TUC rejoice as public linked to private sector pay "Bring on the bonuses!" 1
dvo4fun 3 years

more later...

MPs in poorer parts of UK to be paid less. 2
Ian 3 years

George Osborne will announce plans to pay lower salaries to Members of Parliament in poorer parts of the country in his budget next week. The chancellor will argue that MPs pay should mimic the...

Cameron Gone 'A Wall' Again - Version 2 - 2 32
Jesse Bigg 3 years

This time to the US., "When will the skiver ever put in a full shift?", mutter muggins ministers...

Unpaid jobseekers to debut for Pompey - or risk losing benefits 6
grumblechops 3 years

Crisis-hit football club Portsmouth FC today announced that it would be handing Championship debuts to four new players this Saturday, recruited to complete unpaid work experience under the...

Spanish farmer finds image of Wayne Rooney on sack of potatoes. 1
Lemon difficult 3 years
Saint Patrick arrested in clerical sex abuse probe 0
jamsieoconnor 3 years

Prominent national saint and self appointed first bishop of Ireland, Saint Patrick, is believed to be in police custody this evening after police swooped on a large parade in Dublin city centre this...

Lack or true grit in the workplace causes public sector pay freeze 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Public sector workers to have equal pay with the unemployed 0
apepper 3 years

The Chancellor of the Exchequer is expected to announce plans to try and equalize the pay in the public and unemployed sectors. "Treasury research has found that public sector workers has a pay...

North Korea Postpones Plans To Kill You All-Until After Dinner 5
UnoEye 3 years

North Korea has agreed to postpone its plans to kill you, your children, and everyone and everything you’ve ever loved, until it’s replenished its emaciated population with a selection of warm...

HS2 swapped for H2O? 4
wilkieone 3 years

Cameroon urged to reconsider HS2 in line with urgent needs for water in the south east, and re consider an urgent need for water., a spokesman said 'those web feet bog trotters would pay us to take...

London barman attempts other 3 card suits in pint of Guiness 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Sobriety Orders, low tech method to be tried first. 0
weematt 3 years

A pilot scheme is planned by the government to test the use of Sobriety Orders. This is an approach used in the USA to reduce alchohol inflamed crime. In the USA offenders are required to wear a...

Breweries and pub product marketing managers celebrate St Plastics Day 3
ronseal 3 years
Clooney's cellmate "Seen allovum fillums twaace" 0
Drylaw 3 years
British management consultants best at 'grey sky thinking' claims CBI. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Entertainment Communications Supervisor in prosthetic ear row 0
Earl Van Dyke 3 years

A Crowd Control Supervisor at a nightclub in Leeds has been suspended from duty until further notice after regulars queuing at the city centre night spot complained that one of the man’s...