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Why people hate me for being beautiful, by David Cameron 18
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

On a recent trip to a restaurant with friends I was delighted when a man came over and gave £250,000 to me to support my political party. ‘This is from the executives at HSBC – they want to...

iPhone 5 Will Walk Your Dog 0
The Galah 3 years

On the stroke of one minute past midnight today, Apple's iPhone 5 launched to much pomp and fanfare, and to the sound of a million anoraks being hastily zipped up. The brand spanking new phone allows...

James Cameron ‘astonished’ to learn there really was a ‘Titanic’ 1
3 years

Director of long films James Cameron has spoken of his ‘astonishment’ at learning there really was a ship called the Titanic, which also sank after hitting an iceberg. Cameron wrote and directed...

Romans to outsource crucifixion service 5
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

State Governor Pontious Pilate has announced bold plans to transform the Judean Crucifixion Service. By transferring Centurion staff into a new private-public partnership with Serco/G4S he claims...

GCHQ snooping on email and web surfing was our idea says Google patent lawsuit 3
ronseal 3 years

A tiny insignificant european principality called Britain could face the mighty Google in court, after inadvertently falling foul of one of the software giant's patents. The trouble happened after...

Diana Ross:SLAMS N Korea's Supreme Leader . 'BOY! I AM the Supreme's leader!' 0
Imaginary Monster or am I 3 years

A close source also revealed further action would be taken if North Korea's official leader's personal anthem is changed to 'I'm in the middle of a chain reaction' from the classic Orville legendary...

David Cameron causes panic in Dixons 0
MrG123 3 years

In light of a recent scare concerning a virus effecting apple computers the government has released a statement urging the public to 'stock up Macs' incase the virus does hit., The statement that...

Marshall amp creator goes all the way to hell/heaven 15
charlies_hat 3 years

ok, so you have to say it quickly...

Bell Ringers Banned by Local Church Have Been Awarded No-Bell Prize 1
GillsImp 3 years
Light Bulbs Easier to Carry Says Farmers 0
GillsImp 3 years
Airline pilots who throw up at end of flight may have a terminal illness. 3
weematt 3 years
Stourbridge man claims he has "lucky teeth" 0
nickb 3 years
Olympic cycling ticket row. Hoy and dad to ride tandem with baby seat 2
weematt 3 years
Fern Britton Lookalike denies being a Plant 0
GillsImp 3 years
BBC Easter tv schedule to feature new apostle action movie "The Deity Dozen" 1
Haywood Manley 3 years
New Type III Diabetes is "best ever" claims NHS 18
bonjonelson 3 years

The National Health service has unveiled the long-expected new type III Diabetes to a packed press conference today in Hammersmith claiming it is the 'best ever' version of the disease. Officially...

Doctors recommend display ban on Daily Mail 3
Qoxiivi 3 years

The British Medical Association has submitted a recommendation to the government that calls for a ban on the Daily Mail being displayed openly in supermarkets and newsagents. BMA's Chairman of...

Londoners in shock as only 10 Met officers accused of racism. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 3 years
Daily Mail names Samantha Brick as "New Queen of Hearts" 1
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
Ryanair denies charging passengers extra for emergency landing. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Fury at government task force COBRA threatens zoo chaos 0
Imaginary Monster or am I 3 years

'The use of Cobras in this committee' is nothing short of snakism spat leader Monty Python yesterday. All types of snakes are demanding ssstrike action. 'We're not standing for this. We too can be...

Stations of the cross: commuters launch Easter rail fare protest 0
nickb 3 years
Tourette Man to be Voice of London's Tube during Olympics 0
pinxit 3 years

London Underground have chosen a Tourette's syndrome sufferer to voice all their station and train announcements throughout the two weeks of this year's Summer Olympics. In conjunction with the...

Ryanair to roll out 'Big Dipper' flights. 0
weematt 3 years

After a successful test flight over Germany Ryanair are to go ahead with their combined flight and fairground ride concept. The test flight has entered the Guinness Book of Records for the ride with...

Dawkins' Easter message risks Schism in Atheism. 0
Ian 3 years

Traditional atheists have claimed that Richard Dawkins' Easter messages risks causing a schism in atheism. Dawks, the followers of Dawkins have denied this. Traditionalists blame Dawkins and his...

Olympic Fox Hunting row - "Over my dead body" says Fox 0
Drylaw 3 years
Failure of pandas to mate blamed on "high costs of childcare for middle earners" 0
quango 3 years
Google's 'augmented glasses' could bring artificial intelligence to idiots 2
3 years

Google's latest gadget, a pair of 'virtual reality' glasses that can identify objects in the real world, could help a cretin relate to the man in the street, according to experts. The glasses...

Slimmer's World's calorie points system proves biblical statement. 0
alanthetortoise 3 years

The dieting company claims that the eating of hot cross buns and chocolate eggs proves Jesus died for our 'Sins'...

Ozone layer damage linked to excessive use of hair spray in 80s 1
Dumbnews 3 years