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ITV Sport beats BBC in battle of mispronouncing players' names. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 12.07.14 9:25am
dominic_mcg
Cameron solves ‘women problem’ with sex-change op plan

Francis Maude is now to be known as Maude Francis, Theresa May will be Mother Theresa and Jeremy Hunt will be Jeremy Cunt. “I hope this will silence, once and for all, misguided Labour accusations...

0
farmer giles 12.07.14 8:25am
farmer giles
Gaviscon heartburn firemen call 24 hour strike

Britain is facing a heartburn epidemic after stomach-based firemen called a 24 hour stoppage. The pint-sized firefighters, employed by Gaviscon, walked out in sympathy with public sector firemen...

4
Gary Stanton 12.07.14 7:50am
Gary Stanton
Tommy Ramone - 'I Wanna Be Cremated' 0
electrelane 12.07.14 7:46am
electrelane
ITV to launch same-sex female only show "Strictly Quim Dancing".

More bad taste soon...

1
Al OPecia 12.07.14 5:50am
Akiko
Former Archbishop Makes Dramatic "Assisted Dying" U-Turn

Lord Carey, the former Archbishop Of Canterbury, last night made the shock announcement that he has altered his position on voluntary euthanasia for the terminally ill and would support any bill that...

0
Jonny Shlep 12.07.14 3:54am
Jonny Shlep
Airports fast track security for sex toys

UK airports are now having to install express lanes for exhibitionists who pack adult toys in their hand luggage in the hope that they will be asked to 'prove they turn on'. Passenger groups are said...

4
Squudge 12.07.14 12:13am
Loundshay
Ryanair to introduce free Indian takeaway for all customers

And paid restrooms...

0
Bigglesworth 11.07.14 11:32pm
Bigglesworth
BBC admit to adding sound effects to animal footage during In the Night Garden

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnpUCGhyAh4]youtube proof[/url]...

0
gaijintendo 11.07.14 9:09pm
gaijintendo
BBC admit to adding sound effects to animal footage during In the Night Garden

[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnpUCGhyAh4]Youtube evidence[/url]...

0
gaijintendo 11.07.14 9:08pm
gaijintendo
Fyffes plan to release new 'ribbed' Bananas

Hello everyone who isn't working this weekend. No work 'till next week!, If you are working, try not to do much...

0
gaijintendo 11.07.14 8:31pm
gaijintendo
"it's just like watch-ing Barns-ley!" chant cock-a-hoop S&M Brazil fans 0
ronseal 11.07.14 7:22pm
ronseal
FIFA plan nostalgic re-enactment of Qatar bribery

The World football body FIFA has announced that next year's fifth anniversary of the awarding of Qatar the 2022 world cup will be marked by all the participants gathering together where symbolic...

0
apepper 11.07.14 5:30pm
apepper
Germany awarded World Cup under ‘carrying forward goal-credits’ rule 0
beckfordburger 11.07.14 3:04pm
beckfordburger
Same-sex couples to feature on Strictly Come Dancing

This is to balance out all those butch men and totally straight females they've had on all these years...

0
vulture1 11.07.14 2:56pm
vulture1
Sloth Protection Society Saved: No-One Bothered To Attend Winding-Up Meeting 4
Titus 11.07.14 2:52pm
vulture1
Germans enlist Schumacher to counter Argentina backing from the Pope 0
custard cream 11.07.14 2:37pm
custard cream
Denver Airlines new pizza delivery service deemed 'uneconomic' 1
RobArmstrong 11.07.14 2:26pm
RobArmstrong
Mercury Music prize for Dublin Council as Garth Brooks concerts cancelled

In an unprecedented move today, the board of adjudication for the annual Mercury Music Prize met in private session to confirm the award of 'Extraordinary Contribution to Musical Taste Prize' to all...

1
RobArmstrong 11.07.14 2:24pm
RobArmstrong
Real Madrid sign Dracula.

or alternatively, Real M sign Mike Tyson. if we don't feel he's been done enough on this site...

0
Sir Lupus 11.07.14 2:08pm
Sir Lupus
Anyone Wanna Buy A Cannibal? Only £75 million. Food Extra. 0
Titus 11.07.14 1:04pm
Titus
The Daily Mail joins the long list of Clooney rejects

Following in the petite footsteps of Lisa Snowden, the Mail Online has been forced to accept that the ‘grey fox’ will never hold them in his big strong arms. Despite their grovelling apology,...

0
Wrenfoe 11.07.14 12:54pm
Wrenfoe
Bariatric surgery could produce 'Pickles monster' warning

A proposal to extend Bariatric surgery, also known as weight loss surgery, to thousands of obese people, could produce a new, slim and dangerously more active Eric Pickles, experts have warned. 'One...

0
roybland 11.07.14 11:33am
roybland
Dublin narrowly escapes Garth Brooks' concert

In what is being described as a ‘near death experience’ (NDE), the people of Ireland have fortuitously avoided coming into contact with an over-sized Stetson, painful guitar twangs and an ego the...

0
Wrenfoe 11.07.14 10:52am
Wrenfoe
Kinky Jam ensues as Paul Weller crashes into Ray Davies

“There was a Kink in the road” quipped the musical superstar. “Thankfully, it wasn’t anyone from The Strawbs, or I marmite not be here to tell the tale.”...

1
farmer giles 11.07.14 10:36am
Gary Stanton
Where's a Polar Bear When You Need One, asks Ann Maguire's Family 0
IABP 2 11.07.14 9:17am
IABP 2
Once bitten, twice shy, three times Suarez.

More up to the minute satire later...

1
Al OPecia 11.07.14 7:43am
Titus
A poem for the peado files

Do not stand at my filing cabinet and weep, I am not there. Secrets I keep., I am a thousand emails deleted., I am the evidence secreted., I am the whitewashed character stain., I am the gentle...

8
Kevin the Swan 11.07.14 4:59am
Squudge
'Thicker hair more important than medals' insists Hart

England goalkeeper Joe Hart says it is more important to have thicker, more manageable hair than it is to have World Cup winners medals., Hart spoke out against German players ahead of Sundays final...

4
Gerontius 11.07.14 4:56am
Squudge
Old people get pissed and have sex

If you are under thirty, try not to think about it...

1
vulture1 10.07.14 11:59pm
Titus