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Emily Watson praised for taking pre-emptive measures before crossing the street

Hot on the heels of Angelina Jolie revealing she opted to have preventative surgery to reduce her risk of breast cancer, British treasure and not the star of Harry Potter Emily Watson announced she...

4
Hooch 16.05.13 8:36am
Skylarking
John Terry retires from football to concentrate on lifting trophies 2
Hooch 16.05.13 8:31am
Oxbridge
Riot police end Moscow rugby match after referee decides 'Put in not straight' 2
Bogbrush 16.05.13 7:50am
Bertrand Twisted
Idiot clicks on spam forum post

More to follow Mods, you can delete this as well once all the rubbish has been cleared it'll just baffle people...

1
brianflan 16.05.13 5:55am
Wrenfoe
Bank of England 'optimism' result of rounding error

The Bank of England’s upgraded economic growth forecast has been instantly downgraded after it was revealed there had been an error rounding the predicted inflation figures. Speaking just hours...

2
theinvisiblecitychannels 15.05.13 11:55pm
brianflan
“EU broke my heart” claims insecure fish

In news that will please all gill-bearing aquatic craniate, the UK claims a “breakthrough” in getting the EU to stop callously “dumping” their ectothermic girlfriends. UK Ministers have...

3
Wrenfoe 15.05.13 11:46pm
brianflan
Hewlett Packard launches printer for cool people, "The HPster" 0
Dumbnews 15.05.13 10:58pm
Dumbnews
Cloning allows MP Dorries to run as Tory and UKIP candidate in next election 1
topfotogmw 15.05.13 10:26pm
deskpilot3
English outcry as May explores Qatada-O'Brien exchange. 0
weematt 15.05.13 9:02pm
weematt
QPR players take a novel approach to reduce inflated wage bill

More later...

0
Wrenfoe 15.05.13 8:55pm
Wrenfoe
Nadine Dorries to relive Tommy Cooper's split personality sketch. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 15.05.13 7:57pm
Al OPecia
Qatada defence team 'concerned' as Theresa May considers water cannon 2
FlashArry 15.05.13 7:51pm
Al OPecia
Geek, 40, groomed by schoolgirl.

A forty year old IT engineer, and part time wargames aficionado, has gone into protective custody after apparently being groomed by a Somerset schoolgirl, Leanne Gibbs. The engineer, who cannot be...

6
No Beard 15.05.13 7:37pm
Bogbrush
Outdoor barber arrested for street grooming 0
custard cream 15.05.13 6:40pm
custard cream
Disappointed fan asks why not just have one removed and live with 43.5% chance? 0
Bogbrush 15.05.13 6:30pm
Bogbrush
Successful human cloning team accused of copying 0
grumblechops 15.05.13 6:28pm
grumblechops
"I saw Brad in 'Burn After Reading' and laughed my tits off", says Jolie 0
topfotogmw 15.05.13 6:12pm
topfotogmw
Everyone mocks new Dan Brown book, but it sells millions

Dan Brown's new book, Infernally Bad, has been scorned, mocked and pilloried by eveyone in the entire world. 'It's awful!' declared one reviewer. 'Absolute rubbish! In fact, it's so appalling I...

16
John Wiltshire 15.05.13 5:26pm
wwwiz
British men concerned about 'crisis of femininity' in Diane Abbott 0
Backup Brian 15.05.13 3:32pm
Backup Brian
Meths drinkers, shouty tramps and cider visionaries gather for underpass AGM 1
simonjmr 15.05.13 3:14pm
Skylarking
Lancashire shop found to be still open after 40 years 1
NewBiscuit 15.05.13 3:11pm
theinvisiblecitychannels
So Keith likes cock...is that what the Catholic church calls a cardinal sin? 0
irreverendJ 15.05.13 2:45pm
irreverendJ
Bank of England upgrades forecasts to "mostly harmless"

More later...

0
Wrenfoe 15.05.13 1:43pm
Wrenfoe
Barnsley watchdog exposes widespread Government 'Fixing'

Retired Barnsley shopkeeper, Bert Strudwick, today accused the Government of 'Fixing' the price of beer. Hours after it was claimed that BP & Shell have been manipulating petrol prices for a...

0
Lenny Bee 15.05.13 1:27pm
Lenny Bee
Beckham has toe amputated after learning he has a 10% chance of ingrowing nail 0
Bogbrush 15.05.13 12:51pm
Bogbrush
Pub team stalwart puts fantasy England career behind him...

Andrew Cartwright, 43, from Weymouth, has announced to family, friends and the England selection panel that even in his own fantasy version of football, in which he could “still play at the highest...

0
Tripod 15.05.13 12:14pm
Tripod
John Humphrys’ grill wins Masterchef

Today programme presenter John Humphrys was crowned the surprise winner of this year’s Masterchef. Humphrys won over the judges with a breakfast menu that included the Director General of the BBC...

4
Wrenfoe 15.05.13 12:04pm
Lenny Bee
Mixed messages for Angelina Jolie, as fans yell “tits off for the lads”... 0
Tripod 15.05.13 11:45am
Tripod
New Israeli Airport Security Plan

[A story stolen from elewhere but with no author credited, so enjoy it here) The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body...

1
Titus 15.05.13 10:46am
Sinnick
Internet braced for new deluge of 'John Terry celebrating things' pictures

Hopefully no more soon...

0
johnnydobbo 15.05.13 10:29am
johnnydobbo