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Tesco now officially owns 'every fucking thing' 6
Oxbridge 3 years

Tesco CEO Sir Terry Leahy has announced that, after completing the acquisition of the Co-Op and the Happy Garden Chinese takeaway in Bromsgrove, it now owns every fucking thing in the whole fucking...

Beware of Greeks bearing interest. 2
rikkor 3 years
Jethro Tull, Breakup..... 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.To re-concentrate on development of seed drills...

"What's An Apple Pie Bed?"....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Says university fresher, with big holes in his sheets...

"What's An 'Apple Pie Says University Fresher..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years
Spectators demand money back as child fight deemed 'not dangerous' 0
Screenie 3 years

The organisers of a cage fight involving two boys under the age of ten have received a backlash from members of the public after they suggested the fight was ‘not dangerous’ to either of the boys...

World stock markets crash on news of REM split 0
grottymonty 3 years
Children celebrate only 92 sleepless nights until the Dr Who Christmas special. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Then loads more afterwards!...

Child Cage-Fighters to be locked up and beaten if they do it again 0
Ian Searle 3 years

That'll learn em!...

Titanic Re-enactment Society Members' Conclusion.... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

."Leaving the lifeboats and getting back on the 'mockup Titanic', same as voting for a Tory government."...

Hospitals 'On Brink Of Collapse' only kept standing by MRSA bugs holding hands 0
Ian Searle 3 years

According to a new report - the old ones are the best - gag switching is not a crime!...

Super hero lead for Expedia's new ad campaign dies from exposure to Samsonite 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Bodyform to sue BBC over themetune for new Tara Fitzgerald series 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Death in Georgia confirmed as REM split 1
simonjmr 3 years
U2 finally table Sunday Bloody Sunday compensation offer 0
simonjmr 3 years
'Oh everyone's upset about execution without fair trial NOW', huffs Al Qaeda. 1
DrTurmoil 3 years
'Everybody Hurts' explains Michael Stipe 0
SpankyMonkey 3 years
Assange fury over book leak 'definitely not double standards' 0
SpankyMonkey 3 years
Boundary Commission to reassess acceptable behaviour for children 1
simonjmr 3 years

The Boundary Commission will today embark upon consultation with UK parents to redraw what is now considered to be acceptable behaviour for children. "For too long has the Victorian ideal of...

Joey Barton to host Moral Maze 0
Drylaw 3 years

Listeners to BBC Radio 4's weekly Moral Maze programme were surprised last night to hear chairman Michael Buerk close the show by announcing his retirement and the name of his successor. "Henceforth...

"We will continue the search for ironic oxymorons" say American Intellegance 9
Perks 3 years
Pygmy Olympics Opening Ceremony "short and sweet" 0
Drylaw 3 years
The Stig spotted wearing an "I am The Stig" T-shirt 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
New Facebook changes angers people with no lives 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Falling satellite kills cat and makes big mess of front garden 0
RJWinter 3 years
BBC commissions Spooks prequel - set in Edwardian England... 1
deskpilot3 3 years
Man watching Powerpoint presentation is 99% likely to be demoralised, says study 6
ronseal 3 years

A new report by the Hambleton Group has revealed that people are 99% more likely to lose the will to live during Powerpoint presentations. The surge in alcohol consumption following a 45 minute...

Beware of Greeks bearing Gilts. 1
Al OPecia 3 years

Thanks Rik...

Isle of Wight demands full member status at UN. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years

West Bembridge representative flies to New York...

Iran accuses spies of being hikers 11
RJWinter 3 years

Two American spies are being detained in the Iran capitol Tehran accused of being hikers., The men, who have not been named, were arrested on Monday, sources say, after parachuting into a military...