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Seven in a bid for Irish presidency 3
simonjmr 3 years

As Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey announce their nominations, there are rumours that Israeli transsexual Dana International is also considering entering the presidential race....

Piers Morgan to be first space tourist - "return ticket under negotiation" 0
apepper 3 years

Virgin Galactic has named broadcaster Piers Morgan as the first space tourist to get a seat on the new SpaceShipTwo sub-orbital space craft. "His name was the first that came up.", explained Virgin...

Euro leaders put faith in car boot sale plan 3
A Wagonload Of Monkeys 3 years

European leaders have reached a "three pronged agreement" described as vital to solve the region's huge debt crisis. After talks late into the night the leaders said that each member state will...

GPs say Simon Callow DVD "cheaper and more effective" than Temazepam 0
Drylaw 3 years
Town is Dying, say Royal Wootton Bassett folk 0
Drylaw 3 years
John Terry 'fears a lynching' from the press 1
charlies_hat 3 years
North Face launches range of grease-proof clothing for the 'indoorsy type' 11
3 years

Fans of programmes about the countryside are flocking to the shopping channels to kit themselves out with North Face's latest range of 'high performance' clothing. Charcoal-impregnated to cope with...

Roland Emmerich directs controversial film Anonymous; or does he? 1
apepper 3 years

Roland Emmerich's latest film, [i]Anonymous[/i], claims that Shakespeare didn't write his plays, but that the 17th Earl of Oxford did - including several posthumously. "That was quite the fashion in...

Martin McGuinness vows to join the 'war against terrorism' 0
Perks 3 years

As the Irish electorate go to the polls, the high profile presidential candidate Martin McGuinness has vowed to join Britain in the war against terrorism. McGuinness, former IRA commander, told...

Scottish Borders Council finds money for new website! But how? 1
vanessabeeson 3 years

Faced with education cutbacks, recruitment freezes, bins gone to fortnightly collection can you imagine my horror (whilst job hunting) to find that Scottish Borders Council has relaunched their...

Film casts new doubt on authorship of Bill Bryson’s 'Shakespeare' 11
Des Custard 3 years

Following new doubts raised by the film 'Monotonous', an account of the life of Bill Bryson, a leading scholar has entered the fray with his views on the true authorship of Bill Bryson’s book...

Applying both Lynx and Impulse creates ‘perfect sexual null point’ 8
jp1885 3 years

Medical researchers at the prestigious Edinburgh University have made a breakthrough in the fight against overly attractive people after discovering that simultaneously applying popular deodorants...

Singles website introduces speed carbon dating for unattached archaeologists. 1
Ian Searle 3 years
Edinburgh Council poll asks "Are you Satisfied, Unsatisfied, Fucking Furious?" 1
Drylaw 3 years
Milk of human kindness can cause allergic reaction 3
vertical 3 years

or 'may contain nuts'...

Italian farmer with low straw yields asks Europe for a hay bale out 7
Perks 3 years

No more soon...

Joanna Lumley sale to pay off Greek National Debt 3
Monsewer Crapaud 3 years

A Greek Finance Ministry spokesman today announced plans to sell off National Treasure, Joanna Lumley, to pay off their mounting debt. "We've tried for years to get back the Elgin Marbles without...

Apple launches new iTalk and iListen apps 1
DorsetBoy 3 years

Defying market rumours that Apple would lose its creativity without Steve Jobs at the helm, CEO Tim Cook today launched two new, revolutionary apps named iTalk and iListen. Based on a combination of...

Government unveils plan to make workplaces even more hellish 1
Darkbill 2.0 3 years

A new government report has recommended that the few people still in employment should be kept in a state of perpetual fear and trepidation. The report, entitled Keep Your Head Down, calls on the...

Art world out of touch, claims artist who dresses as girl, holidays with teddy 15
Clarky 3 years

Dressed as his flamboyant female alter-ego, Claire, in gingham and pigtails, cross-dressing former Turner prize-winner Grayson Perry has accused the art establishment of being out of touch with...

Young “from all walks of life” encouraged to train for the monarchy 2
nickb 3 years

She has already agreed to change succession rules to favour future female royals. Now, it’s understood, the Queen is looking at the possibility of encouraging more young people from a diversity of...

Annoying patient forces psychiarist to see a psychiarist 0
Dumbnews 3 years
US Army admits antigay policy was 'way of dealing with its own sexuality issues' 3
gaijintendo 3 years

(took a while to cram into a title - may have lost a bit in translation) The US Army revealed the feelings it had repressed since its inception to the United States Senate at a nice restaurant with...

Lack of any 'junior managers' leads to self-styled 'Middle Managers' downgrading 0
dvo4fun 3 years

More self awareness soon...

ME link to EU 6
medici2471 3 years

Researchers in Norway believe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), also known as ME, may be caused by an over exposure to EU related news stories.The disease is thought to affect some 250,000 people in...

Big Job For Cameron At Euro Crisis Meeting..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Euro leaders' messenger boy...

Germany solves debt crisis by investing €211bn in taramasalata futures 1
3 years
SCS to bail out Eurozone with borrow now pay at Easter deal. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Boeing 787 arrives 3 years late - demonstrates unprecedented flight endurance 1
GreenCross 3 years
Gadhaf Caught In Chysler Crossfire 0
Flagrantabuse 3 years

Ibrahim Abbashim, member of the Transient Interim Temporary Situation (or TITS) said [quote]Yes, yes it's true. Apparently Gadhafi was killed in a crossfire, believed to be the only car of its type...