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‘Read my lips’, says God, ‘I don’t give a toss about your team’...

God has cleared up a common misunderstanding among football supporters. ‘Let me make this plain”, said God, with an air of finality, ‘I don’t answer prayers about the football team you happen...

1
Tripod 28.03.14 8:03am
deceangli
Eric Pickles seen eating chips out of copy of obesity report 1
throngsman 28.03.14 8:02am
deceangli
Jack tired of 'thinking outside the box'. I just get shoved back in 0
Not Amused 28.03.14 7:54am
Not Amused
Cats unite with badgers in bid to destroy humanity.

Feel free to add...

1
miked10270 28.03.14 7:54am
Underconstruction
Schools to examine before teaching

Schools minister David Laws announced a new strategy aimed at making 'Gove seem rational' earlier today. 'My idea,' he said in a news conference, 'is to make schoolchildren take exams before they are...

1
throngsman 28.03.14 7:54am
Squudge
Egyptian Courts & Danish Zookeepers To Assist with Proposed Cull Of Bankers 1
Titus 28.03.14 7:37am
Dick Everyman
National Lottery lauch 'Fat Chance' scratch cards to tackle obesity crisis.

It could happen...

1
spoole2112 28.03.14 7:14am
Gerontius
Korean men terrified Kim Jong Un will switch to mullet 0
sydalg 28.03.14 12:41am
sydalg
North Korean men told to 'look a bit paunchy and not old enough for their job'. 1
Electrelane 27.03.14 11:07pm
Smart Alex
Quantum physicist attempting DIY worries about the true nature of particle board 0
Smart Alex 27.03.14 11:03pm
Smart Alex
Particle or wave? "Make your fucking mind up light!" says Hawking. 0
Maverick 27.03.14 10:44pm
Maverick
Inquiry to turn energy market "upside down". Now to be known as "the Big 9" 0
Andy Gilder 27.03.14 10:00pm
Andy Gilder
Coldplay release 'somewhat long-winded' cover version of 'D-I-V-O-R-C-E' 2
Idiot 27.03.14 9:17pm
Sinnick
Skeleton found in carpark "only a pretender" 0
sydalg 27.03.14 9:08pm
sydalg
obesity report ain't over until the fat lady sings, says Susan Boyle 0
throngsman 27.03.14 9:04pm
throngsman
Russian leaders in fear of rendition as US prepares new Guantanamoski 0
Dick Everyman 27.03.14 9:04pm
Dick Everyman
'Big six' call for an inquiry into calls for an inquiry into the energy market

The ‘big six’ energy firms have called for an inquiry into the calls for an inquiry into competition in the industry. A report by Ofgem has asked for an investigation by the Competition and...

1
James Pluside 27.03.14 9:02pm
throngsman
UK software house launches 'map my invasion'

Following on from the success of 'map my run', 'map my walk' and 'map my pub crawl' a British software house has launched a new product aimed at megalomaniacs everywhere. 'It's really challenging...

0
throngsman 27.03.14 8:19pm
throngsman
Obesity ‘now the norm’, says sylph-like Eric Pickles... 0
Tripod 27.03.14 7:26pm
Tripod
Witness tells police it was "2 inches max" 2
Underconstruction 27.03.14 7:23pm
Titus
Dangerous Dongs Act "might have stopped Clifford" 0
bonjonelson 27.03.14 7:16pm
bonjonelson
Which Is Best: "What Comparison Site?" Or "Comparison Site Choice"?

Total doff of hat to Dumbnews...

1
Titus 27.03.14 7:15pm
bonjonelson
ATOS assesses itself as unfit to work

ATOS, the organisation contracted by the government to assess benefit claiment's ability to work has assessed itself and found it to be unfit. 'We looked at all of the evidence and concluded that we...

1
throngsman 27.03.14 7:12pm
Titus
Korean hairdressers warned to keep holiday discussions short 0
Underconstruction 27.03.14 6:45pm
Underconstruction
New review site launches to review review sites 0
Dumbnews 27.03.14 6:02pm
Dumbnews
Poodles fall foul of Dangerous Dog's Act

A rogue Standard Poodle has been seized by police from Luigi’s Famous Travelling Circus after a serious incident at a matinee performance in Shanklin on the Isle of Wight. In a statement to the...

0
Dick Everyman 27.03.14 5:15pm
Dick Everyman
Martin and Paltrow to renew their conscious uncoupling vows in 2015

“Our uncoupling brought us so close together”, Gwyneth told us, “we’ve decided to do it again when the kids are a bit older.”...

0
Adrian Bamforth 27.03.14 4:55pm
Adrian Bamforth
Beijing's overwhelmed fobidden city to limit visitors

BEIJING - Forbidden city, in the heart of Beijing will begin limiting how many tourist it admits, amid worries that its popularity is damaging the site, state media said on Wednesday, The site...

0
footinmouth 27.03.14 4:42pm
footinmouth
In the interest of balance, LBC will broadcast tonight's argument in the pub

However it is thought that David Cameron and Ed Milliband won't attend. Topics are undecided, but Eastenders is expected to cause a spat between Tracy and Davina, and the size of Max Clifford' knob...

0
throngsman 27.03.14 4:22pm
throngsman
Shark gives florida student 2-hour ride and stars in youtube video

ORLANDO. Fla - A Hammerhead shark dragged a college Student in his Kayak up the Atlantic coast for a two -hour ride. Using a camera strapped to his helmet, the student was able to capture the ride....

0
footinmouth 27.03.14 4:10pm
footinmouth