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2012's students fail to jump as high

‎2012 shows a 0.4% decline in the height jumped by celebrating A-Level students when posing for newspaper photographers. Most students jumped 26.6% of their body height, down from 27% last year....

Mother 16.08.12 11:08am
Hotel chain admits " We don't care for the environment"

Leading hotel chain Premier Lodge Inns has admitted that its little cards in the bathroom urging guests to re-use towels have eff all to do with environmental concerns and everything to do with...

weeb52 16.08.12 10:45am
Doctors urge Prince Philip to refrain from 'anal'

Doctors examining the Duke of Edinburgh have urged him to practice more conventional forms of intercourse if he is to avoid further bladder infections. HRH Prince Philip spent the night in a shitty...

Gary Stanton 17.08.12 12:45pm
Midfield Diamond
Disillusioned Branson returns to his roots.

The Virgin empire's bearded boss is to chuck in the towel following his disappointment over losing the West Coast Main Line bid. Now penniless, he plans to spend the remainder of his days selling cut...

Boutros 16.08.12 9:38am
it's the vinyl revival! Selling LPs by mail-order nets billions for entrepreneur

In the backlash against all things digital, the 12" record has made a surprising renaissance. Companies set to cash in are those who are geared up to sell LPs by mail order. Ageing entrepreneur...

Boutros 16.08.12 9:37am
Elvis Presley Found On Mars!

Analysis of the latest stunning panoramic photos of the surface of Mars beamed back by land rover Curiosity is revealing some unexpected insights. Doris Bewes, 87, (who claims to have visited the...

Reg Herring 16.08.12 9:32pm
Nick McCarr
Olympics “getting easier” say critics

Team GB’s best ever performance at the London 2012 Olympics, including an impressive 29 gold medals has led critics to question the value of the medal haul, as they believe the games are getting...

pippip 16.08.12 8:10am

In an unprecendented show of loyalty to his team Manchester City, Premier League winning football boss Roberto Mancini has started a trend by announcing on the club’s website he is changing his...

Reg Herring 16.08.12 9:04am
Mr Target
Britain looks forward to next great summer event

Following the popularity of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and the Olympics with the population of Britain, people are excitedly anticipating another great event that will bring the country together as...

digidave 16.08.12 7:51am
Are You Being Served? You Shouldn't Be

The BBC was forced into making a humiliating apology yesterday after a number of jokes accidentally found their way into a new Friday night sitcom. By the end of the programme the average viewer...

ricky33 24.08.12 10:08pm
Assange condemns threat of forced entry 0
medici2471 16.08.12 6:48am

Relatives of Dame Vera Lynn, George and Daisy Wycliffe (the Wycliffes of Dover) will not now represent Team GB in the Paralympic Three Legged Mixed Doubles. George had his left leg amputated below...

davecook194 16.08.12 6:34am
Julian Assange "leaks" pants when told UK will arrest him in Ecuadorian embassy 0
thesilverflute 16.08.12 6:03am
Scouts lose paralympic flame relay to FirstGroup 0
FlashArry 15.08.12 10:52pm
Obama weighs heavily on whether to solve world problems or hit snooze button 0
Dumbnews 15.08.12 10:36pm
Man who values his own opinion spends 45 mins giving his 'two pence worth' 0
Perks 15.08.12 9:42pm
Red Arrows confirm flypast for Sid Waddell funeral 0
custard cream 15.08.12 7:34pm
custard cream
We thought of cycling first, says veteran 2-wheeled commuters

People who’ve been cycling long before Bradley bloody Wiggins and the Olympics came along have been loudly pointing it out to those who’ve had a sudden urge get down to Evans. The velo veterans,...

pitflaps 17.08.12 7:25am
Ordnance Survey admits Syrian A to Z only covers half of Azaz. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 15.08.12 5:55pm
Replacement bus service until 2026 for West Coast Mainline

Passenger groups reacted angrily last night as it emerged that financial projections for First Group's west coast mainline takeover will mean replacement bus services operating the entire line until...

BAJDixon 15.08.12 7:50pm
PR agencies increasingly desperate to cash in on Olympics

As the post-Olympics euphoria swiftly slips away, an air of panic is growing among PR agencies desperate to cash in on behalf of their clients. Latest, shocking examples of PR-land immorality...

Miss Hegas 15.08.12 5:25pm
Miss Hegas
Transformers scandal claims new scalp

Optimus Prime is standing down as leader of the Autobots following a scandal over expenses. Leaked documents show he had been receiving up to three hundred energon cubes per year by claiming the...

ricky33 15.08.12 4:57pm
Man using Web to locate shell fish accused of viewing online prawnography 5
Perks 15.08.12 7:38pm
Schools hire G4S to shout at pupils

Security firm G4S is now set to roll out its “shouty squad” across education departments in seven troubled local authorities. “It’s a really simple scheme!!” G4S Head of Educational...

nickb 15.08.12 1:56pm
Becks not in Team GB, now Branson loses rail franchise. "Why us? asks public 6
dvo4fun 19.08.12 8:52am
Vatican 2020 Olympics flame to be ignited by frenzied rubbing of altar boys 0
cinquecento 15.08.12 11:53am
Paralympic Flame to be Carried by Courageous Able-Bodied People

An army of brave people who have never experienced disability are standing by waiting to play their part in carrying the Paralympic flame to London. "I was told last week I would never live to see...

Denis Dijon 15.08.12 9:10pm
custard cream
Clive, Trevor and Keith facing extinction as less than 40 born in UK in 2011 0
simonjmr 15.08.12 11:09am
Tim O'Toole - FirstGroup's CEO, not a brand of pubic shampoo 0
medici2471 15.08.12 10:52am
Equine Equality demands humans hand Olympic medals to their members 0
simonjmr 15.08.12 9:10am