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Barking man falls out with neighbours' cat 0
PluckyMunky 2 years
Pot to receive £1000 fine and told to make written apology to kettle. 1
Rorschach 2 years
Amorous bankers caught playing FTSE under the table 4
jp1885 2 years
FA issue ultimatum to Capello: 'resign now or face a £12m payoff' 4
Skylarking 2 years
Rough intrusions by Belgian police. Ok, I'm jealous admits Pope. 2
MrChigleysAunt 2 years
Bomb disposal 'expert' posthumously downgraded to 'novice' 2
QorbeQ 2 years

More soon. [i][It wasn't me sir, a bigger boy made me post it sir][/i]...
Rest of World congratulates England on being better than expected. 1
whickerman 2 years

Football pundits from around the world were astounded that England managed to get out of the group stages and keep Germany down to only four goals. “ Good for plucky old England, they even made...
Possession of cash to be illegal by 2015 1
hero2zero 2 years

A spokesman for the government outlined the change in the law today in which known users will be allowed up to £20 for personal use, anything greater and they will be classed and treated as...
'The only alternative to getting an iPhone 4 is getting a Life': Confucius. 0
Griffin 2 years

More wisdom soon...
'Anyone But Murray' T-shirts available for sale in England 3
jp1885 2 years
Fans Return from South Africa Not Happy 0
Dun Dunkin 2 years

'What a shambles. If i wanted to be humiliated i could have just gone and visited my mother' said one fan getting out the airport. 'It would have been a lot cheaper for pretty much the same result'...
Bombe disposal expert 'hates throwing so many desserts in the bin' 0
QorbeQ 2 years
England fans applaud Capello’s role as Andy Murray’s new coach 1
antharrison 2 years

Scottish tennis sensation Andy Murray said he was “Confused” over the appointment of failed England manager Fabio Capello as his new coach. “It’s a new experience for me” said Capello...
England team to drive round the country in an open top hearse 2
Ludicity 2 years
'Henman Hill' to be renamed 'Talented but Largely Unlikeable Scottish Lump' 2
dicky37 2 years

[More soon]...
Budget cuts affect seamstresses as 'stitch in time now only saves eight' 1
dicky37 2 years

[More soon]...
Cash-strapped Brits forced to holiday in Off-Peak District 0
dicky37 2 years

[More soon]...
Visa World cup fixers to be question over match irregularities 0
simonjmr 2 years
Delayed Gratification Policy Instantly Adopted 0
Doctor Moptop 2 years

Tantric Tennis gurus, Nicolas Mahut and John Isner, have been offered advisory positions by the Coalition Government. "The new age of austerity will undermine the current culture of instant...
Oxford english dictionary to replace the word monotone with the word Murray. 0
Basil_B 2 years
Russell Brand's Ponderland axed in Channel 4 shakeup 1
QorbeQ 2 years

UK TV broadcaster Channel 4 has begun the process of a massive revamp in a bid to regain its former 'anarchistic' credentials. 'The channel has always tried to be part of the anti-establishment, but...
Russian spy ring unmasked in KFC 0
gregle 2 years

A cell of ten Russian spies has been discovered and apprehended in a branch of KFC in Washington. They are suspected of trying to discover vital US secrets including the Colonel's secret recipe and...
FIFA to experiment with goal-line technology 1
GrahamB 2 years

Following the failure of match officials to spot Frank Lampard's shot crossing the German goal-line on Sunday, Sepp Blatter has announced that FIFA is to experiment with goal-line technology after...
Government to cap immigration, BP bid for contract 1
Ian Searle 2 years
'Cutbacks will mean fewer police' headline wins No Shit Sherlock award for June 0
jp1885 2 years
DFS introduce new Psychiatrist range, to get into the minds of their customers 0
Iamthestig 2 years

Tell me about when you last bought now, paid later, or when you paid nothing for 3 years...
Cameron justifies Cabinet Ministers' claims for Incapacity Benefits 0
pinxit 2 years

"They're all completely incapable - the lot of 'em" he said...
Sky's new sexual health channel to be broadcast in VD 0
Iamthestig 2 years
Sepp Blatter to personally trial changing room cameras for Women's World Cup 2
jp1885 2 years
England players thought flag of St. George was match instructions 0
Iamthestig 2 years

"We saw the straight lines and criss-cross shape and thought that was how Fab's wanted us to play." Said Aaron Lennon at a press conference yesterday. "I kept saying to Gareth Barry that running...