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Madame Cholet denies 'rubbish in bed' claim 0
Underconstruction 3 years
We're all in this together, apart from those 25 and under 0
virtuallywill 3 years

no shelter later...

'Mud' fan's wasted trip to Isle of Wight 0
Underconstruction 3 years
Bono on the Bill for Gove 0
Iggy Pop-Barker 3 years

In a groundbreaking effort to raise literacy levels, Minister for Education Michael Gove has announced “The Alphabet Tour” for this Autumn. An eclectic mix of artists, including ABC, D-Ream, JLS,...

Queen Actually Scheduled To Meet Paddy McGuinness. 0
Hooch 3 years

What was thought to be a historic meeting between the Monarch and the Sinn Fein MP is actually a meeting about the possibility of a Take Me Out Royal Special, it has been revealed. One of the...

Greece knocked out - England through to the last 6 8
Mr Target 3 years

As Greece followed the Czech Republic crashing out of Euro2012, England progressed to the last 6 of a major overseas tournament for the first time in over 20 years. "Joining the likes of your...

Last of the summer swine of a swirl... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

hits West Yorkshire...

France........... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years
MoneyBiscuit: Allied Irish Bank shares could be worth a punt 0
Nails UK 3 years
New Law Sounds Death Knell For HR Departments 0
Duff 3 years

Coalition plans are well advanced, that if implemented, will trim excess layers of fat from UK businesses and will spell the end of Human Resources Departments everywhere. A bill is to be rushed...

Major religion 'most definitely waffle' states PM in retort to Archbishop 0
3 years

More soon....

Vince Cable's rinsed labels mince table 2
The Masked Frog 3 years

Whilst other politicians appear to be playing a permanent game of one-upmanship, it was good to see Vince Cable doing something positive for Britain. The Business secretary took it upon himself to...

Homeopathic Contraceptives Found To Contain Tiny Amounts of Babies 4
TiffindeVere 3 years
London 2012 Cockney cull condemned as savage and unnecessary 5
bonjonelson 3 years

International condemnation is mounting after plans to cull up to 5,000 East London cockneys in advance of the 2012 Olympic Games were leaked to the media. The plans, allegedly authored by Lord Coe...

Wombles "may be" evicted as Olympic security ramps up 1
Iscariot 3 years

Great Uncle Bulgaria and his family could be "cleansed" from their ancestral lands. LOCOG has referred The Womble family to The Borders Agency to determine immigration status: none of the family...

ITV 2 An Instrument of The Devil 1
Hooch 3 years

The schedule on the digital channel is pure evil, it has been revealed. The discovery was made by Father Timothy Earl. ‘I was just making up the latest patch of my famous Holy Water, old family...

Tibetan spiritual leader to wed : Dalai Mail exclusive 3
Drylaw 3 years
McGuinness' voice must be dubbed by an actor when he meets the Queen 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Queen to present McGuinness with ticking "clock" in parcel 1
apepper 3 years

The Queen is to present former IRA commander Martin McGuinness with a symbolic ticking parcel. Precision built by specialist MI5 "clock-makers", the time-piece is described as the "ultimate alarm...

Tots to learn politics with new BBC series of "Dimblebeebies" 3
nickb 3 years

Under fives are to have their  own BBC current affairs programmes, made by the producers of In the Night Garden and Teletubbies.  The Dimblebeebies are a pair of brothers who are far from dim....

Rooney lashes out at Oxlade-Chamberlain for '..calling Roy Hodgson a Polyglot!' 0
Jammydodgers 3 years

Because "The gaffer shouldn't have to put up with language like that from anyone!" according to the follically augmented toe-brained simian simpleton...

Duke of Edinburgh seen buying Joy Buzzer in preparation for McGuinness handshake 0
Nails UK 3 years
Innuendo Watchdog To Be Launched As Part of Cameron's 'Big Society' 3
TiffindeVere 3 years

An independent governing body that will monitor practitioners of smut-laden innuendo is to be launched later this year as part of a government scheme to "reinstate a basal level of moral decency in...

Noel Deals Blow To Ofcom 0
Duff 3 years

Neat-bearded celebrity presenter, Noel Edmonds, was feeling a great deal better today following an Ofcom ruling that found him not guilty of misrepresentation during the hosting of his hit Channel 4...

Network Rail renames flooded West Coast line, "The train flume". More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
NatWest fix computer erro$£$£(2,,,. 0
apepper 3 years

More to $£"!¬(")...

John Terry agrees to shake Queen's hand despite her being 'a bit foreign'. 0
monty 3 years

John Terry agrees to shake Queen's hand despite her being 'a bit foreign'...

IOW festival boss refuses refunds. Says terms are bog standard for industry. 0
weematt 3 years
Queen to shake McGuiness' hand "If he rinsed after last piss" says Palace 4
dvo4fun 3 years
Kofi Annan "This is just getting Syria and Syria" 0
dvo4fun 3 years

more soon. Is my coat over there?...