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Osborne plans to retire Cameron and Clegg to stud after the next election 0
simonjmr 22.10.12 11:10am
Black velour scarf sparks tarantula panic

Renowned arachnophobe, Shirley Vaughan (44) of Corby, sparked a major rescue services incident at the weekend, when opening the middle drawer of her dressing table, she thought she saw a large hairy...

simonjmr 22.10.12 10:13am
World’s oldest undeciphered message ‘probably a utilities bill’ say academics

An undeciphered piece of text, written over 5000 years ago on tablets of clay, could be a utilities bill claim academics at Oxford University., Jacob Dahl, fellow of Wolfson College said the Iron...

Uncle Bertie 22.10.12 10:12am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Cameron launches MPs rehab scheme

David Cameron has announced the opening of a rehabilitation centre for misbehaving politicians. An institution set up in Wandsworth prison will see MP's such as Andrew Mitchell put not so much behind...

Perks 22.10.12 9:23am
Andrew Mitchell starts week with check in for his first Restart interview 0
simonjmr 22.10.12 9:17am
BBC lanches new show for Radio 1 Djs: Top of the Perps 1
ronseal 22.10.12 8:49am
Jamaican X Factor goes to dreadlock 1
Smart Alex 22.10.12 8:35am
Hillsborough enquiry should extend to murder of Wat Tyler, says Union Chief.

Union supremo Nick McCash, 72, said today that the Hillsborough enquiry should extend back to the Peasant’s Revolt of 1381. After all, he said, 'if it can be opportunistically extended back to...

sigmund 22.10.12 8:20am
World's oldest undeciphered writing revealed "Take two tablets four times a day" 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 22.10.12 8:13am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Taliban soldier who shot girl beheaded for trying to ‘teach her a lesson’ 17
Screenie 21.10.12 10:56pm
Greatest ever runner to retire to stud. Mrs Bolt unavailable for comment. 1
Not Amused 21.10.12 10:52pm
World in Action to investigate Panorama story about Newsnight. More soon. 1
deskpilot3 21.10.12 9:55pm
Dick Everyman
Confusing energy tariffs to be published in picture book format

In the wake of criticism from Ofgem and from consumer groups, utility companies are to publish energy bills and other communications in picture book formats to make them less baffling for consumers....

Dick Everyman 21.10.12 9:25pm
Dick Everyman
Cost of Lourdes holy water falls to all time low 0
Mandy Lifeboat 21.10.12 8:17pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Advertising Feature: The Andrew Mitchell Weight Loss Plan

Conservatives have noticed with approval how the former Chief Whip has whipped himself into shape. He’s now left his post to kick start his own 5 point weight loss plan, which he outlines below:...

nickb 21.10.12 7:35pm
Jerry canned.

I wonder if I’ll beat the ‘Sun' to this one?...

sigmund 21.10.12 6:59pm
Social mobility scandal: stupid people still can’t get into Oxford or Cambridge. 5
sigmund 21.10.12 6:39pm
Cameron's latest prison policy lacks conviction

Owners of private prisons who fail to stop prisoners re-offending will be fined, under new plans to be announced by David Cameron. Under the slogan ‘Tough But Chewy’, the Prime Minister will...

Squudge 21.10.12 6:07pm
Cloud shaped like Jimmy Saville's cock 'now inevitable' warn scientists.

More soon Yeah, I'm a bit drunk...

Qoxiivi 21.10.12 5:36pm
Bob Harris quietly distances himself from BBC's DJ whispering campaign 0
Nowherefast 21.10.12 5:11pm
Every five minutes Davina McCall cries for a cause...

Davina's tears are real. Davina's tears are preventable. For all those whose lives have been blighted, for once and for all, just £5, will help cure cancer, save the snow leopard, provide clean...

pithandvinegar 21.10.12 4:18pm
'Saville Row' unsuitable 1
Ironduke 21.10.12 4:09pm
blank 4
weematt 21.10.12 3:50pm
The last celebrity not to have been discovered on a reality TV show has died 0
Ian Searle 21.10.12 2:45pm
Ian Searle
UK defence exports hit new low as May announces clampdown on weapons suppliers 0
Nowherefast 21.10.12 1:20pm
Polish Builders mass in Carlisle as Hadrian's Wall reconstruction rumours grow 0
Nowherefast 21.10.12 1:01pm
After check-in, proceed to take off. Take off jacket, shoes, belt, watch …. 0
weematt 21.10.12 9:52am
Unlucky US airport employee loses check-in post. 0
weematt 21.10.12 9:46am
Channel 4's Stand Up To Cancer made cancer suffering measurably worse 1
gaijintendo 21.10.12 8:51am
Battery cages outlawed thanks to gentically engineered stackable cuboid poultry 3
Ironduke 21.10.12 7:53am