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Neat-O : The Circus (use it or lose it)

The funeral of actor Richard Briers is to take place next Wednesday at a council run allotment in his home town of Kingston upon Thames., Following a short service read by close friend Monty Don,...

0
Gerontius 18.02.13 6:55pm
Gerontius
Woman seeks wild man who can do her taxes 0
Dumbnews 18.02.13 6:53pm
Dumbnews
It's just not true Biscuit!

In the wake of the recent labelling crisis, NewsBiscuit has come under pressure from disappointed readers, angry that it contains no proper news and no biscuits. One disgruntled visitor to the site,...

2
lane-avenger 18.02.13 6:40pm
Audible Minority
The 'unexplained device' seen in Torquay turns out to be an aeroplane

†wo people are injured falling off a wall while pointing at it...

0
Ian Searle 18.02.13 6:33pm
Ian Searle
Greengrocer charges customers to look at exotic fruit in Papaya Per View scandal 0
Ian Searle 18.02.13 6:32pm
Ian Searle
Man who tried to extract gas from garden with pressure washer is fracking idiot 0
Ian Searle 18.02.13 6:30pm
Ian Searle
Residents furious as street art sold at auction.

Residents of a tower block in Tipton are said to be furious after an historic piece of graffiti has turned up in a Paris auction house. The crude drawing of a spray painted penis above the legend...

0
dominic_mcg 18.02.13 6:28pm
dominic_mcg
Extremist patrols in Borough of NewBiscuit impose 'Harry Hill' law

Moderate posters in the borough of NewBiscuit are being upbraided by a group of extremists who believe that only they understand the true meaning of ‘funny’. The extremists, ‘described as a...

19
lane-avenger 18.02.13 6:15pm
Audible Minority
Nerdy scientist comes out as straight 2
Dumbnews 18.02.13 6:13pm
Dumbnews
Cameron puts claims 'India trip is a waste of time' on hold

David Cameron has been on a 'top-up the tan' trip to India this week to try and build trade links between the two countries. He hopes that any increase in trade will help create jobs in the UK. ...

2
Perks 18.02.13 6:10pm
Perks
Church bread found to contain 'Jesus DNA' 5
Perks 18.02.13 5:05pm
Perks
Pope admits he lied on CV, was never a Catholic

Major overhaul of screening process by embarrassed Vatican...

7
sydalg 18.02.13 4:47pm
sydalg
Watersport enthusiast has a number one all over 2
charlies_hat 18.02.13 4:44pm
lane-avenger
Human Cannonball who used nuclear power went "completely over the top". 1
seymour totti 18.02.13 4:30pm
Tess Goes
Cameron Renames England as Little India

More coming soon...

0
Tess Goes 18.02.13 4:28pm
Tess Goes
Supermarkets Protest as Biscuit Found to Contain Nearly 100% Horse Material 0
Titus 18.02.13 10:05am
Titus
Viewers sickened by tea-time rehash of Black Butey

Because that was a horse you've heard of, and Bute is a drug in horses that will make you sick. I'll draw a fucking picture...

9
Truebiscuit 18.02.13 9:48am
Idiot
SA PD: Pistorius fell for "oldest trick in the book"

Inspector van Zyl: Sho, Mr Pistorius, wann did yoo stap beeting yaw girlfrend? OP: When I bloody shot her! Inspector van Zyl: Aisscchhh, yoo are nicked! OP: Shit! Shit! Shit!...

1
lane-avenger 18.02.13 9:47am
Truebiscuit
‘Happiness’ originally ‘A Penis’ says Doddy

Ken Dodd today sensationally confessed his 1964 hit ‘Happiness’ was originally titled ‘A Penis’, a song about his massive tickling stick. “I certainly am not a diddy man” said Mr Dodd,...

6
Reg Herring 18.02.13 9:40am
Scroat
NASA braces for meteor "Budget cut" 0
Dumbnews 18.02.13 4:46am
Dumbnews
Paxman and Guerin to present new It’s a Knockout

In a bid to place the BBC’s ailing light entertainment reputation in “safer hands” the corporation has announced that humourless war correspondent Orla Guerin and irritable news anchor Jeremy...

9
DustyBinLaden 18.02.13 1:31am
Squudge
Romanians ask Rebecca Brooks "please can we have our horse back" 7
sillybugger 18.02.13 12:53am
nickb
Centaur burger found to be 70% horse 4
Sinnick 18.02.13 12:04am
Squudge
Pietersen bemoans theft of Cricket Bat...

Quoted: 'If I catch the thieving bastard I'll break his legs'....

0
ESJ 17.02.13 11:20pm
ESJ
Hg wins mercury prize. 3
godly1966 17.02.13 10:49pm
Squudge
Man who met his clone was beside himself. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 17.02.13 10:34pm
dominic_mcg
Morrisons buys 49 Blockbusters

Return burgers and lasagnes after hours by dropping them through the door!...

0
topfotogmw 17.02.13 10:28pm
topfotogmw
"Stacking shelves rocks!", claims IDS 0
topfotogmw 17.02.13 10:22pm
topfotogmw
Oscar Pistorius 'knocked for six' at latest revelations 6
custard cream 17.02.13 10:00pm
sillybugger
Backpacker 'within hours of not becoming a celebrity for being a moron'! 0
topfotogmw 17.02.13 9:54pm
topfotogmw