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"Power of Prayer" lobby targets Clarkson, Pickles, Gove. 0
nickb 3 years

Football crowds round the country will be recruited by the new Power of Prayer movement to stop the hearts of unpopular public figures.  But football fans who like Jeremy Clarkson have both...

Granny Tax critics include Ann Robinson, Mick Jagger and Wayne Rooney 0
ronseal 3 years
Fat bloke who can't stop sending boastful letters identified as Round Robin 0
ronseal 3 years
Palace reveals Queen 2.0 4
Boutros 3 years

The Palace revealed the long anticipated Queen 2.0 at Parliament today. Completely revised and overhauled, the new Majesty should be good to see service for another 25 years, a spokesman said. It's...

Armed French police delayed storming flat to get more overtime. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Shoe repair shop defies laws of physics by not offering key cutting service. 0
dandare70 3 years
Yacht club members looking forward to Budget Tacks cut 4
Iamthestig 3 years

Editted due to my own stupidity and lack of internal spell checker...

It was a perfectly legal business practice says accountant for East Africa Co 1
ronseal 3 years

A slave trader from the Royal Africa Company has hit out at critics who questioned the morality of his offshore wage avoidance scheme. "Can I just remind you that it was a perfectly legal way of...

New Coalition website launched- moneygrabbingbastards.com 0
weematt 3 years

Surely I must have seen this before somewhere...

Salmon migrate 'because they are thick', experts say 6
Oxbridge 3 years

For years, it was one of the great mysteries of the natural world. Why do salmon of all kinds travel over such great distances and brave so many dangers to spawn in the exact place of their birth,...

Budget: Returning millionaires to create mansion shortage. 0
weematt 3 years

Thousands of millionaires returning to the UK after the budget give away by Chancellor Osborne are almost certain to cause a shortage of suitable mansions. This has been forecast on the Lucky Bee web...

Steven Spielberg to Film new Chippy Minton Biopic entitled "Saw Horse" 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

more to follow!...

The Dutch Death Mobile 2
CrazyJay 3 years

I can’t believe the Dutch are planning on rolling out a mobile euthanasia programme. Don’t they learn anything from history, or their neighbours? The Germans tried it over sixty years ago, and...

“Multiple errors in design” sees Very Large Kaleidoscope built in Atacama Desert 2
grumblechops 3 years

The European Southern Observatory (ESO) today revealed how a litany of mistakes while planning its newly built ‘3-dimensional spectroscopic explorer’ has ultimately resulted in the creation of...

NUT FREE NUT TREES 1
Roger Povey 3 years

The recent spate of gardening programmes will have inspired many of us to make improvements to our outside space. Tempting though it is, try to avoid exotic plants which generally don’t fare well...

Nick Clegg disappointed to be overlooked as new Dr Who assistant.... 1
grumblechops 3 years

"Who has more experience of following around a smarmy posh buffoon on the brink of total disaster?"...

DIY SOS team called in to help Westminster couple renovate tatty coalition 9
3 years

A special edition of the popular BBC show DIY SOS is set to see Nick Knowles and his team attempting to help a couple from Westminster repair their coalition. Dave and Nick have been relatively...

Osborne nods, points forefingers to roof, dedicates Budget to Muamba & sits down 0
dvo4fun 3 years

more later...

UK economic outlook boosted by higher-than-expected Euromillions yields 6
grumblechops 3 years

Chancellor George Osborne today used his budget speech to highlight the successes of the government’s fiscal policy, drawing particular attention to the increase in GDP brought about by a number of...

Football shirts sold to keep clubs afloat. 6
CrazyJay 3 years

Football fans are up in arms about the current price of football shirts, most specifically the latest incarnation of the England National Squad kit for £55. People have slammed the price as...

Ice hotels criticised for giving guests a cool reception. 1
weematt 3 years
Mitchell and Coren admit they tried to announce engagement "for months" 11
grumblechops 3 years

David Mitchell and Victoria Coren today confirmed they were getting married, with Mitchell adding the couple had been somewhat surprised it had taken people so long to realise. "We first announced...

Riots break out in Trumpton over fire station closure 6
Immunis 3 years

Violence erupted in the sleepy backwater of Trumpton last night following the announcement that the Fire Station would be closed and services provided by Fireman Sam Plc from CBBC. Pugh, Pugh, Barney...

Global warming escalated to global heating 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Fat smug bastards spark up on sofas as another top athlete's heart bursts 1
dvo4fun 3 years

more later. It's all b-j's fault (ref chat room)...

Pre-stressed concrete causes Hammersmith Flyover panic attack 3
nickb 3 years
Serial killers up in arms over new Manson Tax 1
ronseal 3 years
David and Victoria announce first child to be called Brooklyn 2
Sinnick 3 years
Bill Roach had sex with over 1000 women; some non-imaginary 1
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Cash bypasses marketing executives and gets wasted on poor people - shock! 12
ronseal 3 years

As much as 10p in every pound of charity donations is being syphoned away from marketing executives and is turned into food for poor foreigners, many of who have zero brand recognition, reports...