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Black and white telly owners 'smug' over success of The Artist 2
roybland 3 years
Levi Roots eyes larger market with new "Prog-Rock Prog-Rock" sauce 3
Haywood Manley 3 years

More soon....

EU Obscenity Laws cause chaos in UK 3
Nails UK 3 years

New EU regulations banning the use of obscenities in personal and business names are unexpectedly causing chaos across the UK. Businesses and individuals across all walks of life are being forced to...

Bloody Welsh! They come over here and take our cups 0
ronseal 3 years
Christianity downgraded to single 'C' status by Faith and Moody 1
roybland 3 years

Christianity has been downgraded to single 'C' status by top religion credibility rating agency Faith and Moody (F&M). The rating means the Church has currently highly vulnerable obligations and...

Arsene Wenger refuses to pay "Inflated fees" for pint at Pub 0
paddyparkinson 3 years
Police standby for smugness attacks as Wales winning the football and the rugby. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

Worried Police chiefs have cancelled all leave as Cardiff City lead Liverpool in the Carling Cup final. After Wales beat England in the Rugby the prospect of gangs of irritatingly smug Welshmen...

Cure for Christianity 'round the corner' say researchers 12
roybland 3 years

Christianity may soon be a thing of the past say researchers at Oxford University. 'We may have found a cure for the condition,' said Professor James Cross of Exeter College.'It could soon be as...

Ethnic stationary shops complain of being marginalised 0
quango 3 years
The Sun on Sunday will meet highest standards, says flirty Chantelle, 32HH. 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Man who dreamt of being world cup ball woke up kicking himself 0
dicky37 3 years

[more soon]...

Neutrino gets speeding ticket overturned in Magistrates' Court 0
wwwiz 3 years

In a rare move, a Magistrates' Court has overturned a speeding ticket issued to a Neutrino, due to a challenge to the accuracy of a police speed gun. "I was ticking along at exactly the speed of...

UN Rules should make wars “a little less rapey and killy” 11
dvo4fun 3 years

An innovative move inspired by the great sporting heritage of International Boxing was unveiled by the UN today, following Red Cross calls for a daily two hour cease fire in Homs. “Boxing in its...

Gangsters to create 300 new jobs in Manchester 4
paddyparkinson 3 years

Manchester’s premier criminal syndicate has announced it will be opening up three hundred new positions in their local gangs in the area. The move has led to the north west economy making a small...

Man not in Film Industry shocks critics by expressing faint interest in Oscars 0
tedweasel 3 years

Must be one of them there gaysexuals...

John Lennon releases 'All we are saying is give Greece a chance" 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

Apols if done already...

100% of public sector managers now on Linkedin 4
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

Business related social networking site Linkedin today achieved saturation coverage among public sector manangers. The last to join, a Donald Edward Wood of NHS Borders and Wrexham, submitted a nice...

News of meat being made in labs dismissed as "Red Herring" by Vegetarian Society 0
Nails UK 3 years

Bootiful quote...

Houston death thrown into doubt that she was just "having a nap" 1
aTrumbo 3 years

The controversy over Whitney Houston's death has reignited today over a suggestion that the singer "Was having a nap in the bath" Houston, 48, was found "dead" in the bath of her luxury hotel room...

Faster-than-light neutrinos measurement could be down to Windows Vista 1
oblongscone 3 years
Best Exotic Marigold Hotel kick-starts Zombie movie craze 0
Drylaw 3 years
Further Fallout from AA Milne Downgrading 0
Nails UK 3 years

Further information has been disclosed regarding the effects of the recent downgrading of AA Milne to A Milne. - Main characters will be renamed Winnie The Poor and Christopher Robbin’, - Eeyore...

Boomerangs making a comeback 0
Haywood Manley 3 years
Doctor confused but delighted after asking furniture salesman for a stool sample 2
bonjonelson 3 years
Smithfield at centre of new bone hacking scandal 1
weematt 3 years
Woman Can’t Control Their Vagina’s Says Santorum. 2
Hooch 3 years

Rick Santorum, the new frontrunner for the Republican Nominee, has never been one to shy away from controversy but his new claim is astonishing even for him. Speaking at a public appearance he made...

Undecided topic at the world's first 'summat summit' 0
Perks 3 years
Sexy Female Psychiatrist releases report saying women objectified 'too much' 1
paddyparkinson 3 years
Stonehenge built ‘to explain offside rule to women’. 2
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
UK numbers downgraded - PM asks for calm from 9 Downing Street 1
apepper 3 years

In a shock announcement, All UK numbers have been downgraded. £5 notes are now £4 notes, BBC 4 is now BBC 3 and the Forth bridge has been renamed the Third bridge...