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Dad very nearly resists doing Ring of Fire joke.

Mark Oaks, 12, from Stevenage is in the news today having witnessed firsthand his father very nearly avoid making the standard Dad Ring-Of-Fire joke following the inclusion of the Johnny Clash...

1
Shaun S Bored 13.01.13 7:28pm
Yikes
BBC hires delightfully quirky new children’s presenter – Gives own show!

Good news! A super new kidz show will be hitting our screens shortly! “Robbie Makes Dreams Cum True” has been devised and will be presented by exciting new BBC discovery, entertainer Robbie...

2
Shaun S Bored 13.01.13 7:05pm
sigmund
Murmuration of Clarins girls in Bristol, heralds end to winter - 2

Amateur meteorologists today have been drawn to Bristol City centre, where a murmation of Clarins counter girls has unexpectedly been sighted. In weather circles such gatherings are linked to...

33
simonjmr 13.01.13 6:48pm
Boutros
Man says boo to goose

Residents in the small Dorset village of Puddletown were shocked today at the news that a local man had said ‘boo’ to a goose. Paul Barton, 43, has been described by neighbours as ‘a quiet man...

14
Dawsons creek 13.01.13 5:56pm
DustyBinLaden
“It’s not just about the flag”, say Irish loyalists, “it’s about the pole too". 0
Tripod 13.01.13 2:21pm
Tripod
British help French troops with transportation of white flags 3
Perks 13.01.13 1:53pm
Perks
Geordies Ready, And Oot And Aboot For Ice-Skating And Shoveling Practice....

In readiness for the annual road-grit steal by southern Tory councils. "Oh, I say,thank you, Mr Cameron, your worship."...

1
Jesse Bigg 13.01.13 1:35pm
Squudge
BENEFIT 5
Perks 13.01.13 1:12pm
Squudge
Heston Blumenthal condemns rhino poaching: 'they are best fried in tiger blood' 4
charlies_hat 13.01.13 9:15am
Squudge
Mathematicians Not Sure if an iPhone is Complex or Just Imaginary 2
Titus 13.01.13 7:59am
button
Edwina Currie: 'Creepy white-haired man groomed and seduced me in 1980's'

'I should have known it was wrong. The moment I saw he wore his underpants over his trousers,' she laments...

1
pinxit 13.01.13 12:33am
dvo4fun
Monkey Tennis dropped from 2023 TV schedules for being “too highbrow”...

Sandi Toksvig, Director General of the BBC since the surprise resignation of Jeremy Paxman, has announced that the current series of Monkey Tennis will be the last. “It’s a sad day for the...

4
Tripod 12.01.13 11:28pm
stalinetta
Returning origami expert welcomed back into the fold 0
Smart Alex 12.01.13 11:04pm
Smart Alex
"More disappointments to follow" promises Star Wars produces

Senior Disney executives have guaranteed to continue the series of heartbreaks that have followed the release of the original Star Wars trilogy. A spokesman explained, "'Return of the Jedi' started...

1
apepper 12.01.13 10:41pm
deskpilot3
Government Reveals Contingency Plans for Snow: Two Lumps of Coal and a Carrot 0
SJM 12.01.13 10:12pm
SJM
Belfast council agree to fly flag indoors

Loyalist protesters have welcomed a concession by Belfast council to fly the union flag every day, albeit indoors. "Hundartadly, thus us a vuctury fur cummun sunse.", said a spokesman. The flag is...

0
apepper 12.01.13 9:02pm
apepper
Captain Schettino wins Splash! 0
antharrison 12.01.13 8:19pm
antharrison
Army defends camouflage scandal; "It's not what it looks like"

More to follow...

0
apepper 12.01.13 7:34pm
apepper
"Lets run this up the flagpole and see who salutes it", says Belfast mayor

That Belfast brainstorm could have gone better...

1
custard cream 12.01.13 5:46pm
Squudge
After lunch watching Oscar nominations John turns up at Chelsea training ground

http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz223/pinxit2/Satire/telincoln.jpg...

4
pinxit 12.01.13 5:38pm
pinxit
Anne Hathaway’s husband to change name to William Shakespeare

Actor Adam Shulman, husband of American actress Anne Hathaway, is to change his name to William Shakespeare the couple have announced. The move is seen as a stunt to publicise Hathaway recently...

0
Reg Herring 12.01.13 4:43pm
Reg Herring
Belfast Union Flag Will Only Be Flown to Celebrate British Royal Birthdays

"We are delighted" said a Nationalist spkesman. "Oh hang on a moment "...

0
Titus 12.01.13 3:09pm
Titus
Obama's hint at accelerated pull out leaves Karzai high and dry...

More to come...

0
Joe Reynolds 12.01.13 2:35pm
Joe Reynolds
New laptops to dispense milk

The prospect of UHT milk dispensed through USB ports on new laptop computers inched nearer to reality as tech giants Samsung unveiled their prototype “iMoo” computer, which can download milk in...

3
nickb 12.01.13 12:56pm
nickb
News headlines over exposed to photography puns

Shutters come down on Jessops., Customers zoom off to Curries., Amazon snaps camera business away from high street., Families' picture of desperation., Jessops blames over exposure to online...

7
Boutros 12.01.13 10:39am
Tess Goes
GET HIM OFF MY TELEVISION!!! - says everyone

A class action is being filed on behalf of the British Public against BBC, ITV and C4 jointly to redress trauma and distress of seeing 'that bastard' every time the news is broadcast. Or any BBC...

6
Squudge 12.01.13 9:45am
Squudge
Ryanair to be design consultants for proposed new high-capacity prisons 1
Titus 12.01.13 5:30am
Titus
'Prune-like' wet fingers evolved to wank off dolphins, reveals scientist

A scientist who specialises in aquatic mammal research has discovered that 'prune-like' human fingers 'almost certainly evolved' to better provide hand relief to dolphins. Dr Gert Schneider tested...

13
Dawsons creek 12.01.13 3:42am
Username
boil before reading - random jottings of the feverish

[center]-, It must be great to wake up as Christopher Walken, particularly if you went to sleep as Adam Sandler., To catch a frisson of this thrill I used to wear a Walkenmask to bed, so it would...

0
FlashArry 12.01.13 3:04am
FlashArry
Shutters come down at Jessops 2
Iscariot 12.01.13 12:53am
Iscariot