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Police investigate mystery disappearance of England flags from millions of cars 4
Perks 3 years

Police up and down the UK are investigating the mass disappearance of England flags that where once attached to cars. The mysterious multi-theft happened at about 22:25 on Sunday evening. A...

England Regains Form after Jittery Start 3
Cymraeg 3 years

There must have been a lot of butterflies in English stomachs last night before the kick-off against Italy, as disgruntled fans whose expectations had been dashed by seeing their team get through the...

British women's waists too big say short-armed men 0
roybland 3 years
Keith Chegwin Emerges From Hiding And Vows To Get Even With Edmonds 0
Duff 3 years

Madcap 70s TV star Keith Chegwin has emerged from a two day self-imposed bout of hiding and in a sensational rant blamed it all on his erstwhile pal, Noel Edmonds and his obsession on playing...

Cameron Says Jimmy Carr Made A ‘Fair Call’ 0
daneade 3 years

Jimmy Carr called the PM a f****ing c**t and the Prime Minister surprisingly appears to agree., In an unprecedented turn of honesty David Cameron took time out from extremely vitally important talks...

"But athletics hasn't been popular since Linford Christie!", England realises. 0
barrowboy 3 years

Track and field sports are about as nationally relevant as the original Karate Kid film, England suddenly realised yesterday. As another GBP1,000,000 was transferred to the bank account of the...

Cameron admits Lonesome George has been sluggish and slow paced for last 2 years 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Shock as mediocre team that can't take penalties loses on penalties 0
Oxbridge 3 years
England do well against Italy until forced to kick the ball forwards 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years
Egyptian president's success attributed to popular song by Duffy 0
Sinnick 3 years
Euro banknotes to be printed on Greece-proof paper 0
jimmydodger 3 years
RBS getting back to normal operations, fears FSA 0
cinquecento 3 years
Kate downgraded to 8th in line to the throne in early morning toilet queue. 0
Tomfinger 3 years
Urge to interview people early indication of Parkinson's 0
apepper 3 years

Scientists have determined that Parkinson's disease can be diagnosed early from a compulsion to conduct interviews, advertise life insurance or talk about Geoffrey Boycott...

Michael Jackson's tombstone "getting whiter" 4
grumblechops 3 years
Egypt leader Mohammed Morrissey says 'Please please let me get what I want' 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Old Woman who lives in a shoe to loose her housing benefit 0
Ian Searle 3 years

She told a reporter she has so many children she doesn't know what to do...

Contributor Duff Accuses Fellow Newsbiscuit Writers Of Cronyism 12
Duff 3 years

In a staggering outburst earlier today Newsbiscuit contributor, Duff, has hit out at what he sees as blatant cronyism and the wholesale formation of little cliques all over the popular online...

England win in competition to not get stuffed by the Germans : Italians furious 0
FlashArry 3 years
Hosepipe ban inspectors work slowed by flooding 1
apepper 3 years

Government inspectors charged with enforcing the hosepipe ban have complained that flooding has disrupted their work; "We've had to use frogmen to check that hosepipes aren't being turned on.",...

Shock as team who've lost 26 out of 27 International tournaments knocked out. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

More whining soon...

Nat West 'we're trying our hardest but to be frank we don't give a fuck' 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Expect bumper profits soon...

UK deluged by tidal wave of regional news teams 11
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

With large parts of the country on flood-alert besieged householders have been recounting their horror as they opened their doors and met an unstoppable river of regional news teams. “They were on...

Prince Charles may be forced to move back in with his parents 0
nickb 3 years
RBS software cock up a real threat to cancelling Bank Holidays claims BBA 0
simonjmr 3 years
Homeopath-psychopaths "a little bit bonkers" 0
nickb 3 years
Watching England play Italy is like watching Italy play 0
Hooch 3 years
Fears that Sunday opening may give public ideas about future service by banks 0
roybland 3 years

Banking chiefs fear that Sunday's opening of branches of NatWest, RBS and Ulster Bank may have given customers the idea that for the first time in banking history UK banks are to start offering a...

New Tesco Creates High Skill Jobs in GlowBall Delivery & Steak Holder Enhancing 2
ronseal 3 years

Tesco has answered its critics by creating a number of high skilled jobs at its new hypermarket, including a Glow Ball Delivery Executive, a SteakHolder Engagement Evangelist and a Key strategist....

This is homeopathic comedy 5
bonjonelson 3 years