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Cockney Phonetic Alphabet Scrapped for Being Too Confusing

Staff at an East London Call Centre, bored with standard phonetics and customers that know it, invented their own newer version based on good ol' cockney rhyming slang. However, following excessively...

1
Flugelbinder 14.11.13 4:03pm
NewBiscuit
Viagra to be re-marketed as genital anti-wrinkle cream 1
sydalg 14.11.13 3:19pm
Dick Everyman
Groom relieved to hear the news - "The Bride's made it" 1
Flugelbinder 14.11.13 3:17pm
Dick Everyman
An idiot’s guide to ... bridesmaids

What are Bridesmaids?, Bridesmaids are females dressed in horrendous full length lilac or pink dresses at weddings. They come in various ages, shapes and sizes but are all forced to wear the same...

3
Midfield Diamond 14.11.13 3:15pm
Dick Everyman
Tendulkar Labelled Better Than Lara - Bri' Dismayed 2
Flugelbinder 14.11.13 3:12pm
Dick Everyman
Post office staff to strike to demonstrate how well we can manage without them 1
medici2471 14.11.13 1:06pm
Titus
Prince Charles to retake O levels

“One is doing this to prove a point, somewhat” said the 65 year old heir to the throne in an interview to be shown on BBBC2 tonight. “One just about got six O levels, and then one got two A...

1
nickb 14.11.13 1:01pm
Titus
Media Panic as Long Range Weather Forecasts predict Britain will have Winter

The media have started the annual sensationalism of predicted disaster, disruption, and disturbance to everything that moves over the coming months, as once again the long range weather forecasters...

0
Flugelbinder 14.11.13 11:52am
Flugelbinder
Prince Harry 'hoping for miracle' to escape Antarctic trip.

In 2011, Prince Harry's planned march to the North Pole was curtailed so that he could attend his brother's wedding to Kate Middleton., In 2012, Prince Harry's planned climb of Everest was postponed...

0
NewBiscuit 14.11.13 10:45am
NewBiscuit
Cameron pledges to make Britain think social mobility is improving. 0
phil_smith 14.11.13 10:29am
phil_smith
Christmas campaign celebrates JFK and affordable fashions

Hot on the heels of the John Lewis and Marks and Spencer Christmas adverts, Topshop are set to unveil their latest festive offering. However, whilst other retailers have stuck with traditional...

4
Andy Winsor 14.11.13 10:14am
Andy Winsor
Whose will be the Christmas number one advert? asks absolutely nobody

On the factory floor they're not talking about it. In the queue for the lifts, it's not the topic of conversation. There's no whisper going round the city of London on this subject. Absolutely...

1
ronseal 14.11.13 9:22am
Tripod
World discovers 'Filipino' spelt with 'F', not 'Ph' 0
johnnydobbo 14.11.13 9:22am
johnnydobbo
Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Social Workers Appeals for Funds

Underwhelming response so far...

0
Titus 14.11.13 8:58am
Titus
New Co-operative building beaten to green award by parliament's hot air

More soon. ....

0
Not Amused 14.11.13 8:36am
Not Amused
Charles cock a hoop at promotion to Deputy King as Queen become Monarch in Chief

Palace officials have denied that Prince Charles has been fobbed off with a job title shuffle, as the royal press office announced the monarchical reshuffle in the House of windsor. Effective...

0
ronseal 14.11.13 8:35am
ronseal
Child protection at Birmingham City Council to be transferred to RSPCA

Child protection responsibilities of Birmingham City Council should be outsourced to the RSPCA, recommends Ofsted. Social services in the West Midlands have failed inspections seven times over the...

2
medici2471 14.11.13 7:45am
Titus
Prince Charles looks forward to "doing nothing" after retirement

As Prince Charles reaches retirement age, he's planning a change of lifestyle from doing bugger all to doing sod all. The workaholic prince is going to continue his official duty of "part time...

0
apepper 14.11.13 7:20am
apepper
Invisibility cloak stolen

The inventor of an invisibility cloak was distraught today after the futuristic garment was stolen. "I had just finished inventing it that morning and tried it out on the missus" said Prof. Gerald...

1
Psycadelic Squirrel 14.11.13 3:02am
KateWritesStuff
Negative article receives barrage of positive comments 0
Dumbnews 14.11.13 1:53am
Dumbnews
Dr. Phil tells Typhoon survivors to change how they think about Typhoons 0
Dumbnews 14.11.13 1:47am
Dumbnews
Philipino Survivors With No Electricity Advised To Change Energy Providers 1
Titus 13.11.13 10:47pm
Squudge
McCririck tribunal - "legal to discriminate against fat sexist wankers"

Legal history was made today as an employment tribunal ruled that channel 4 did not break the law when they sacked eccentric horse botherer John McCririck on account of his being a complete wanker....

7
BAJDixon 13.11.13 10:33pm
Titus
Rail replacement buses not adequate alternative suicides complain. 0
MADJEZ 13.11.13 10:12pm
MADJEZ
National Thing Which Happened Also Happened Locally, Albeit In A Small Way

That thing which just happened across the country and probably elicited an interview with the Prime Minister or A Famous Person, also happened in our region today. Despite the general crapness of our...

1
deceangli 13.11.13 10:08pm
blokefromstoke
Elderly scorpion gets Dimbleby tattoo on arse.

“It was either him or Sting,” says scorpion....

12
pinxit 13.11.13 10:06pm
deceangli
Fury as 6 time filicidal maniac Hercules is sentenced to just 12 Labours 1
ronseal 13.11.13 9:27pm
blokefromstoke
Children in Need Bosses Slam Typhoon Timing

Children in Need organisers have slammed the timing of Typhoon Haiyan. They claim the Red Cross Appeal is encroaching on their own fundraising efforts. Speaking on behalf of the children’s...

0
Sheepstar 13.11.13 9:23pm
Sheepstar
Fans lobby for John McCririck’s re-enstatement, almost fill phone-box... 0
Tripod 13.11.13 9:11pm
Tripod
Philomena "Very Naughty Indeed" Says God

In a break from Divine tradition, God has issued a press release regarding the Steve Coogan film 'Philomena'. "The film depicts nuns as evil, embittered sows, which is wholly inaccurate and...

0
deceangli 13.11.13 8:55pm
deceangli