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S&P pleads to extend credit rating system by one letter as Cameron declared CUN 0
antharrison 3 years
Global warming questioned as S&P rates January as BRR 0
antharrison 3 years
Mystery body identified in Jerusalem; Christmas cancelled 0
apepper 3 years

Following forensic identification of a mystery body discovered in Jerusalem, the Pope has announced that Christmas is to be cancelled...

Mcfly finally does the double 0
simonjmr 3 years
SAS storm London Zoo - two gorillas killed, and all ostriches released unharmed 2
Smart Alex 3 years
ITV to show "humorous" sitcom 3
virtuallywill 3 years

eventually...

SAS storm London Zoo - two gorillas killed, and all ostriches released unharmed 0
Smart Alex 3 years

Oops - double post...

Three Kings Arrested At Heathrow Passport Control 1
Immunis 3 years

Balthazar, Melchior and Kasper, members of the Saudi Royal family were today held by the UK boarder control agency for trying to enter the country under false pretences and also for gold smuggling....

Priapic Dyslexic 'somewhat concerned about Large Hardon Collider' 0
Smart Alex 3 years
Couple heartbroken after mistakingly putting god particle in the wheelie bin 1
irregular apple 3 years
New software can predict Simon Cowell insult 0
irregular apple 3 years
After earlier reporting that it did happen, BBC news now asks could it happen? 0
irregular apple 3 years
"Christmas comes but once a year" 0
Hugh Nose 3 years

Christmas comes but once a year, at least so the saying goes. Last year a group of scientists started an investigation into the impact of viagra for christmas. Latest data received suggested there...

Simon Cowell refutes claims that new software can predict pop song quality 0
kga6 3 years

Following news from researchers at the University of Bristol, which claims to have discovered algorithms to gauge a pop song's music chart potential, Simon Cowell has stood up for the integrity of...

UK Government to be privatised. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 3 years
Badger militia group claims 3rd victim 3
wallster 3 years

The war against badgers took a backward step today as the Badger Rights Alliance (BRA) claimed it's 3rd victim in as many weeks. Clive Wormley a 48 year old cattle farmer from Staffordshire was...

Motorway death crash driver: "Radio 2's 'Sally Traffic' is responsible" 6
dvo4fun 3 years

Jason Thurrock, the driver blamed for the August M2 crash, spoke about it today. "Police and traffic reporters, 'specially that Sally Boazman from Radio Two, bang on about jams caused by...

Some bloke who wrote some things dies. '24.7 News' editors delighted 5
dvo4fun 3 years

More and more and more and more and 'cking more soon...

Norwich claim shortest yellow lines narrowly beating Nick Cleggs spine. 0
JETFAB 3 years
Ed Miliband ‘not even taken seriously at home’ 10
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

In a candid interview Ed Miliband’s wife, Justine Thornton, has admitted that the Labour leader isn’t even taken seriously by his own family, and is held in contempt by his two young sons,...

Nick Clegg confirmed as World's smallest man by Guinness Book of Records 1
kga6 3 years
Edinburgh Pandas to be Stuffed and Mounted 0
Immunis 3 years
Canadian Government votes for Warmer Winters 0
Immunis 3 years

After a heated debate about the Kyoto Protocol and Canada’s failure to adhere to the treaty, the government finally put the issue of global warming to an internal vote with the result that...

Hitchens beats CERN to discovery of God particle. 2
reforse 3 years
Kenny Dalglish presents first BBC Celeb Weathercast : "Mebbe snaw, mebbe naw" 3
Drylaw 3 years
Santa growing old but at least he still has his elf 1
Smart Alex 3 years
Clegg tells cheese eating surrender monkeys to calm the rhetoric 0
Iscariot 3 years
George Bush declines lead role in new "Mission-Impossible" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Clegg urges French to see sense, then realises who he's talking to 3
apepper 3 years

Nick Clegg has withdrawn to rethink his Euro policy after realising he was trying to make the French see sense...

French midget steals show in EU panto 'Jacques and the Banktalks' 3
3 years

Theatre critics have slammed the performance of the lead midget in this season's EU pantomime, 'Jacques and the Banktalks'. Understudy Nicolas Sarkozy took over the role some years ago from a young...