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Cat Stevens Granted Restraining Order Against A Moonshadow 4
mugwump 3 years
Care Commission to inspect Mutant Academy 0
Milo Shame 3 years

Following on from a review of the private care sector in England and Wales, the Quality and Care Commission has announced that it plans to extend its regime of unannounced inspections to include...

Cameron struggles to find "name brand" for political strategy 2
mongeese 3 years

It emerged yesterday that Downing Street wordsmiths have been experimenting with a range of political branding ideas after the Prime Minister and former PR man, David Cameron, was reported as being...

Her Majesty the Queen facing fitness battle for Derby 11
rickwestwell 3 years

Following the recent series of injury scares for Queen Elizabeth II, her trainers have said they expect to make a decision in the morning on whether Her Majesty will be fit to run in the classic...

Man on Clapham omnibus retires aged 172 0
pthr 3 years

After over a century of public service, the man on the Clapham omnibus has stepped down from office. His career began in 1903, when Master of the Rolls Sir Richard Henn Collins employed him as a...

EU to send cucumbers to UK to reduce constipation. 0
Ostsee 3 years
Brazilian deforestation 'Inevitable when you think about it' claims expert 13
rickwestwell 3 years

The Brazilian rainforest was for thousands of years a wonder of the natural world, but nature-loving environmentalists now lament recently changing attitudes which have had a devastating effect on...

Dr Death dead 0
roybland 3 years
Mladic fear of being sentenced to UK care home 0
roybland 3 years
Infected cucumbers ‘could have been planted by terrorists’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Fraud Squad called in after viewers watch ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Many people "hiding illegal immigrants under their hats", says Daily Mail (edit) 6
SingingHinny 3 years

The Daily Mail has published a startling editorial, in which it alleges that it has recorded footage of liberally-minded people entering UK ports and airports with illegal immigrants and...

Dentists warn that using the wrong brand of toothpaste could kill you 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Terrorist threat level downgraded to 'comical' 0
be reasonable 3 years

after Al-quaeda promise to 'pull your hair and steal your sweets, infidel'...

Lidl's 'Tolerate The Difference' range woos thrifty middle-class 5
3 years

As middle-class mums look for ways to stretch the family budget, Lidl is hoping to tempt them with the launch of a new 'premium' brand. Boasting up to 25% less sawdust in their cereals and cosmetics,...

Confound Chinese hackers by starting your Gmail password with an R, says Google 5
ronseal 3 years

A security expert for Google has offered a temporary fix to the problem of Chinese Gmail hacking. 'There's no R on a chinese keyboard,' he said. 'And if there is, it's where the L should be.' ...

E. Coli Discovers New Strain of Scientist 0
mugwump 3 years
Students set impossible question: At what time does a lie in become bedtime? 2
charlies_hat 3 years
Chas & Dave's music branded as 'Poison" by U.S. Youth Leader. 0
locker 3 years

The music of Chas & Dave has come in for fierce criticism with a lack of contemporary role models being cited as the main reason for the recent explosion in 'Cockney Culture' amongst American...

Panini launch new superinjunction range of cards and stickers 4
Ludicity 3 years

The Panini Superinjunction Collection features the silhouettes of anonymous Premier League footballers that kids can buy, collect and swap in the playground, although for legal reasons they are not...

Middleton's left homeless after childhood home to be auctioned off by Kate 0
Basil_B 3 years

The childhood home of the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton is to be sold at auction later today despite the fact that her Mother and Father still live there., 'We had to strike while the iron was...

Rocket Science “isn’t brain surgery,” says Confucius. 5
SingingHinny 3 years

A bitter feud has erupted between disciples of both brain surgery and rocket science as both sides vie for the right to be acclaimed ‘much harder to do than almost everything else.’ The...

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simonjmr 3 years

Normal service will resume soon!...

Cameron announces cull of anyone below 6ft to achieve big society 0
Basil_B 3 years
Lizard trained to balance on hind legs becomes world's first stand-up chameleon 1
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Racist organisation advertises for a Uniformity officer 9
ronseal 3 years

Racism could become a victim of its own success, warned one of the key note speakers, at this years annual conference of mutual suspicion, who predicted that prejudice could become such a broad...

New vegetable crisis as broc-coli breaks out in school canteens... 0
be reasonable 3 years

"If I want iron in my diet I'll eat a nail", said 7-year old...

Quality of 'Independent' news coverage 'variable', report scientists. 0
be reasonable 3 years

More soon? It depends...

New strains of E coli alarm scientists 0
FraserWords 3 years

WORRIED scientists today warned that new mutations of the E coli virus are evolving in the wake of the latest outbreak of disease., Experts at the Institute of Communicable Diseases have already...

FA appoint Max Clifford as Chairman 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

PR guru Max Clifford has accepted the position of Chairman of the English Football Association with immediate effect. A brief statement released by the FA announced the appointment and stated that...