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American troops hunt for Gadaffi, promise to find him by 2021. 1
MADJEZ 3 years
Equine carcass beater accused of flogging a dead horse. 0
spoole2112 3 years

More later...

Steve Jobs steps down to work on alarm clock with built-in radio and kettle 0
somethingsomethingnation 3 years

Steve Jobs stepped down as Apple CEO to work on a secret project that insiders have dubbed the “iWake”. The groundbreaking product is rumoured to be an alarm clock with built-in radio and...

Lack of Massive Amounts of Drugs in System contributed to Winehouse Death claim 0
thisisall1word 3 years

Lack of Massive Amounts of Drugs in System contributed to Winehouse Death claim Toxicologists...

News Corporation to provide voicemail alert SMS message service for Vodafone 0
grottymonty 3 years

Vodafone are pleased to announce that they have contracted out this service to a well loved and trusted information provider. The service will be enhanced as they will also text you if you have a...

CANDLELIT VIGILS HELD ACROSS THE GLOBE AS "INDUSTRY ICON" ANNOUNCES RESIGNATION 1
donkey_walloppa 3 years

In scenes more commonly associated with a celebrity death or the break-up of a boy-band, fans, mourners, and competitors alike, gathered together today in a show of support following the shock...

Daring each other to drink stuff is more fun than real work say scientists 0
Mr_Johno 3 years

Research scientists working in a lab at Cambrdige University have discovered that daring each other to drink concoctions from test tubes is up to 10 times more entertaining than carrying out proper...

Mars offers Bounty Bar for Gaddafi's capture. 4
dvo4fun 3 years

More confection soon...

Furious Fergie Flummoxed By BBC's Decision To Subtitle Him 0
Duff 3 years

Sir Alex Ferguson has been left red-faced and fuming after deciding to end his self-imposed 7 year ban in speaking to BBC. The fiery Scot was told that the corporation will be happy to speak to him...

TV Weather Girl Kelly Dispenses Sound Career Advice 0
Drylaw 3 years

"Get a bump. It's a positive must if you want to go anywhere weather-wise," said top BBC TV weather reporter Kelly Breasley to a party of teenage girls touring BBC studios yesterday. "Whether it's...

Joan Collins breaks record for 45th consecutive year celebrating 33rd birthday 0
simonjmr 3 years
Moon Mapper Moore Slams Britain's "Pathetic Space Programme" 0
Duff 3 years

Pop-eyed astronomer, Sir Patrick Moore, has slammed Britain for not doing enough work, or spending enough resources on space travel and research. Addressing the symposium of sad nerds and geeks...

£1m Ghaddafi Lottery rollover as winning ticket goes unclaimed. 0
thackaray 3 years
Help! My iPad has stopped wor 1
Griffin 3 years
Bannister's mile record a fake says Oxford man in belted raincoat. 0
Drylaw 3 years
Park bench perverts decry poor British Summer for low tit numbers 0
simonjmr 3 years
'Price on Gadaffi's head' proves Jordan will do anything for publicity. 0
DrTurmoil 3 years

More soon. (KatieKatie Price? Jordan? On his head -- geddit?! Oh I give up.)...

Jacqui Smith to star in Confessions of a Reforming Prisoner 0
Erlang 3 years

hat tip to other writers...

Depardieu to front ad campaign for Apple's new iPee 0
spoole2112 3 years

Inspired by his own health problems Steve Jobs' latest technological masterpeiece was unveiled today. At first glance the iPee appears no more than a slim 2" x 3" rectangular block with no obvious...

daily mail to start campaign to end tuition fee discrimination 0
4ty2 3 years

trying to ensure that English students have to pay similar tuition fees in all other EU countries...

Tottenham to sue for Olympic stadium under human rights legislation 0
4ty2 3 years

Retaining the athletics track to train up the mob for running riot in London is also deemed an unnecessary demand...

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. 'Bollocks' says Jobs. 0
wallster 3 years
New boss says Apple will stick to its core business 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Plan for Amy Winehouse MTV tribute abandoned after 10 minutes 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Post Office’s ISP guarantees next day delivery of emails. 7
Stan Laurel 3 years

In a bold move, which merges technology with tradition, the Post Office has launched its new Internet service with the firm promise that all emails will be delivered the day after sending. 'In...

Researchers report an 18% increase in pointless statistics 0
Mr_Johno 3 years
Worst performing GCSE teacher claims he was “misunderstood’ 0
Stan Laurel 3 years
Sky criticised over failure to send Kay Burley to Libya. 2
SingingHinny 3 years

I fucking hate that woman...

Airport alert as man answers security questions truthfully 2
Des Custard 3 years

A new ‘chat down’ procedure which identifies terrorists by the way they respond to routine security questions almost had its first success today when a man was detained at Stansted Airport after...

Apple's Existentialist Crisis 0
ionb 3 years

After Lord Jobs' retirement, thousands of apple fans have existentialist crisis and realise that their iPhones do the same as a 7 year old Nokia phone but costs twice the price...