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Bespoke Tailors Deny That Savile Row is an Argument About Paedophilia 0
Titus 14.01.13 10:23am
Titus
Yew Tree Lane residents give thumbs-down to Operation Yewtree

Residents of Yew Tree Lane in the leafy suburbs of Wolverhampton have made a formal complaint to the Metropolitan Police following adverse publicity surrounding their investigations into child sexual...

0
Dick Everyman 14.01.13 10:17am
Dick Everyman
Paramedics disciplined for using ambulance to sell ice-creams

A team of paramedics from Bristol have been suspended after reportedly selling ice cream from their ambulance. If found guilty they face a rocky road, and could see their incomes frozen. "Our...

18
14.01.13 9:21am
Dick Everyman
UK braced for deluge of snow pictures 0
exigo 14.01.13 9:10am
exigo
Yodel to offer choice of seasons for redelivery of parcels

Utterly useless courier business Yodel is to offer customers who missed their first delivery the choice of spring, summer, autumn or winter for Yodel to attempt the delivery again. ‘It’s about...

13
DustyBinLaden 14.01.13 3:53am
Audible Minority
Tourist feverishly snapping pictures of city unaware of Google Streetview 0
Dumbnews 14.01.13 1:13am
Dumbnews
Duncan Smith to force claimants to wear benefits cap

The government announced plans for those claiming benefit for more than six months to be required to wear special headwear in public, in effect a compulsory benefits cap. “There will be no stigma...

6
nickb 14.01.13 12:13am
Not Amused
Sloth downgraded from deadly sin to “minor misdemeanour”... 0
Tripod 13.01.13 11:40pm
Tripod
Pot noodle is not poodle insists Korean snack manufacturer 11
nickb 13.01.13 11:35pm
nickb
RAF airlifts Gérard Depardieu into Mali 'to entertain French troops'

Britain's largest transport aircraft has been offered to the French, so that Gérard Depardieu can be airlifted to the Mali frontline. In a daring operation that exceeded the airframe's carrying...

6
Dawsons creek 13.01.13 10:23pm
Dick Everyman
RAF fly to Marley to collect plumbing supplies. 0
MADJEZ 13.01.13 10:12pm
MADJEZ
Locals baffled by first fall of snow...

Clive Small, a local man, was scratching his head at what he saw when he opened the bedroom curtains this morning. “Only yesterday my garden was a colourful patchwork of flowerbeds and bare lawn,...

1
Tripod 13.01.13 9:58pm
Titus
Hell Latest Region To Adopt Austerity

Costcutting making it 'difficult to uphold quality and frequency of punishments' Satan himself has today issued a press release warning that austerity measures might compromise the quality and...

14
stalinetta 13.01.13 8:55pm
stalinetta
Dad very nearly resists doing Ring of Fire joke.

Mark Oaks, 12, from Stevenage is in the news today having witnessed firsthand his father very nearly avoid making the standard Dad Ring-Of-Fire joke following the inclusion of the Johnny Clash...

1
Shaun S Bored 13.01.13 7:28pm
Yikes
BBC hires delightfully quirky new children’s presenter – Gives own show!

Good news! A super new kidz show will be hitting our screens shortly! “Robbie Makes Dreams Cum True” has been devised and will be presented by exciting new BBC discovery, entertainer Robbie...

2
Shaun S Bored 13.01.13 7:05pm
sigmund
Murmuration of Clarins girls in Bristol, heralds end to winter - 2

Amateur meteorologists today have been drawn to Bristol City centre, where a murmation of Clarins counter girls has unexpectedly been sighted. In weather circles such gatherings are linked to...

33
simonjmr 13.01.13 6:48pm
Boutros
Man says boo to goose

Residents in the small Dorset village of Puddletown were shocked today at the news that a local man had said ‘boo’ to a goose. Paul Barton, 43, has been described by neighbours as ‘a quiet man...

14
Dawsons creek 13.01.13 5:56pm
DustyBinLaden
“It’s not just about the flag”, say Irish loyalists, “it’s about the pole too". 0
Tripod 13.01.13 2:21pm
Tripod
British help French troops with transportation of white flags 3
Perks 13.01.13 1:53pm
Perks
Geordies Ready, And Oot And Aboot For Ice-Skating And Shoveling Practice....

In readiness for the annual road-grit steal by southern Tory councils. "Oh, I say,thank you, Mr Cameron, your worship."...

1
Jesse Bigg 13.01.13 1:35pm
Squudge
BENEFIT 5
Perks 13.01.13 1:12pm
Squudge
Heston Blumenthal condemns rhino poaching: 'they are best fried in tiger blood' 4
charlies_hat 13.01.13 9:15am
Squudge
Mathematicians Not Sure if an iPhone is Complex or Just Imaginary 2
Titus 13.01.13 7:59am
button
Edwina Currie: 'Creepy white-haired man groomed and seduced me in 1980's'

'I should have known it was wrong. The moment I saw he wore his underpants over his trousers,' she laments...

1
pinxit 13.01.13 12:33am
dvo4fun
Monkey Tennis dropped from 2023 TV schedules for being “too highbrow”...

Sandi Toksvig, Director General of the BBC since the surprise resignation of Jeremy Paxman, has announced that the current series of Monkey Tennis will be the last. “It’s a sad day for the...

4
Tripod 12.01.13 11:28pm
stalinetta
Returning origami expert welcomed back into the fold 0
Smart Alex 12.01.13 11:04pm
Smart Alex
"More disappointments to follow" promises Star Wars produces

Senior Disney executives have guaranteed to continue the series of heartbreaks that have followed the release of the original Star Wars trilogy. A spokesman explained, "'Return of the Jedi' started...

1
apepper 12.01.13 10:41pm
deskpilot3
Government Reveals Contingency Plans for Snow: Two Lumps of Coal and a Carrot 0
SJM 12.01.13 10:12pm
SJM
Belfast council agree to fly flag indoors

Loyalist protesters have welcomed a concession by Belfast council to fly the union flag every day, albeit indoors. "Hundartadly, thus us a vuctury fur cummun sunse.", said a spokesman. The flag is...

0
apepper 12.01.13 9:02pm
apepper
Captain Schettino wins Splash! 0
antharrison 12.01.13 8:19pm
antharrison