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Egham twins with Beckenham 0
nickb 3 years
Osborne tells PM he Knows nothing about budgies.. 0
wilkieone 3 years
Vanessa Feltz named as new Obesity Tsar... 0
wilkieone 3 years
Coming soon.. Blankety Blank. The Movie! 0
wilkieone 3 years
David Cameron unveils plan to privatise government 1
Hugh Nose 3 years

The prime minister suggests allowing sovereign wealth funds to be allowed to lease acts in England. These so called third parties could be set a series of targets. If the companies meet these targets...

Pension Pickpocket Osborne "disowned" by parents following Wednesday's budget 0
frustratedpoet 3 years

Following the budget on Wednesday, Sir Peter Osborne, father of Britain's most hated man held a press conference stated "I have no son". The budget which cut tax breaks for pensioners with savings...

Hard drug dalers applaud effectivness of "hidden door" availability policy 1
antharrison 3 years

For the first time in history Britain's drug dealers are losing money after extending the government's "tobacco hiding" policy to cover the sale of hard drugs such as heroin and cocaine. "When I woz...

God finds Richard Dawkins 6
grumblechops 3 years

The Almighty today announced He has lost faith in religion and was instead “leaning more towards the teachings of Dawkins every day”. The Supreme Being admitted he became “consumed with...

Sport Relief raises millions so children won't grow up talking like John Bishop. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Motherfuckers looking forward to Sunday 28
roybland 3 years
Embarrassment as ‘two world wars and one world cup’ 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

played for English shooting team at Kuwait event. More soon...

Queen opens new hospitals faster than Andrew Lansley can close them. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Chocaholics warned over strength of cocoadamol. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
"Russian banker" is not rhyming slang, says Eastend gang leader. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Domino manufactures to receive spot checks 0
virtuallywill 3 years

tappin' later...

Olympic hopeful Mr Strong tests positive for anabolic steroids 0
Print Squirrel 3 years
Scot's History Tapestry ends in affray. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 3 years
Confidential Data Loss As Isle of Wight Councillor Leaves Rollerdeck In Teashop 0
UnoEye 3 years

The personal details of hundreds of Isle of Wight inhabitants have been lost in a massive security blunder when a councillor left his rollerdeck in a Shanklin teashop. It’s feared the security...

Kazakh gold medallist is played Borat anthem in Kuwait 0
Boutros 3 years

Kazakhstan's shooting team has been left stunned after a comedy national anthem from the film Borat was played at a medal ceremony at championships in Kuwait instead of the real one. The team's...

Titanic sinking revealed as NASA hoax 6
Immunis 3 years

might try this as a full story, but going to be very busy tomorrow...

Invisible Man wanted in connection with brutal assault on mime artist 0
grumblechops 3 years

"It was the best performance we've ever seen!" said one onlooker...

Dog walker's relationship with client going to the dogs 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Manicurists reconsider launching Hand Relief charity 4
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Early George Formby recordings prove he was pioneer rapper "Tu Bob" 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

An amazing discovery in Rawtenstall Lancashire today by Mrs Sadie Zimmerframe of previously unheard 1930's rap songs by George Formby under the pseudonymn " Tu Bob" . The songs cover a wide range of...

TUC applaud Scottish Tories for launching "Friends of the Union" 0
Mark66 3 years

. PS See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-17420673 if this doesn't make sense...

Space station astronauts find ‘called but you weren’t in’ note from space truck 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
"John Carter" beaten at box office by "Tulisa's Sex Tape - The Movie" 0
paddyparkinson 3 years
Lionel Messi highest paid footballer due to "state benefits" 0
paddyparkinson 3 years
Scientists discover 23hr bug which can only be caught this Sunday Morning 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Richard Dawkins To find God 5
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

In a shock move today it was announced that well know celebrity atheist Richard Dawkins is set to convert and become a member of the Church of the Latter Day Saints (Mormon’s). The announcement...