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Miley Cyrus dons sensible winter coat, stays quiet for five minutes 0
ConcernedBystander 12.11.13 9:21pm
ConcernedBystander
Producer "Completely Shocked" by Katy Hopkins' Offensive Remarks

The Producer of ITV's "This Morning" today declared himself "Completely Shocked" after guest Katy Hopkins launched into a tirade against working class old people, who, she declared in conversation...

5
blokefromstoke 12.11.13 9:15pm
ronseal
Ex-Prime Minister experiences moment of clarity

British ex-P.M announced to the world that "it's the rich what gets the pleasure. it's the poor what gets the blame" yesterday. Asked why he hadn't done anything about this state of affairs when he...

0
vulture1 12.11.13 7:52pm
vulture1
Smart TVs say viewers “getting more and more stupid”

Smart TVs have started to object to being purchased by what they call “dumb viewers.” At the third annual conference of Smart TV’s, a committee of the smartest sets on the market expressed...

12
CulchaVulcha 12.11.13 7:49pm
Not Amused
Dimbleby: That Tattoo Text In Full

BBC bosses have insisted that David Dimbleby's "scorpion" tattoo be accompanied by a disciplinary subtext: "Don't Make Stuff Up". Senile Dimbleby (75) informed viewers of the Remembrance Day...

0
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 12.11.13 7:07pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
New mums paid £200 to breastfeed. Babies only. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 12.11.13 6:39pm
dominic_mcg
Armaggedon for sale on every high street, claims washing machine engineer

A simple modification could turn a domestic washing machine into a lethal centrifuge capable of enriching uranium for nuclear bombs, claims a washing machine engineer. We’ll just call him D.W., as...

6
Boutros 12.11.13 6:14pm
deceangli
World cities set to copy Northern Line’s “virtual tube” scheme with non-railways

Barcelona, Sao Paulo, Munich, St Louis and Shanklin on the Isle of Wight are set to emulate Transport For London’s “no-ride” tube system, by creating their own mega-ultra-light railway systems...

0
nickb 12.11.13 5:58pm
nickb
Most Northern Line customers agree more commuters should walk or cycle

A twitter survey of rush-hour passengers on one of London Underground's busiest lines has revealed overwhelming support for Transport for London's new campaign to encourage other users to walk or...

2
Tristan Shout 12.11.13 5:13pm
A.A.Arkwright
"Work from Home" axed in favor of "Play at Work" 1
Dumbnews 12.11.13 4:59pm
pere floza
Councillor Regrets Saying "Let's Run This Up The Flagpole And See Who Salutes"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-24906040...

3
deceangli 12.11.13 2:03pm
medici2471
Breaking news- there is no news about Rebekah Brooks

No news media today were reporting anything at all about Rebekah Brooks. Network news has been completely silent on the subject of the innocent-until-proven-guilty editor, and the other bloke. The...

0
NewBiscuit 12.11.13 12:41pm
NewBiscuit
Administrators reveal Barratts Shoes "will be Soled". 2
seymour totti 12.11.13 10:33am
medici2471
John Humphrys shows off 'Prince Albert' piercing as BBC bodymod war hots up

Paxman's beard, Dimbleby's tattoo.. There has to be some potential for lampoonery in there somewhere!...

4
Nowherefast 12.11.13 10:25am
Tripod
New Scheme To Encourage Breast Feeding Wil Be Self-Financing

One of the things deterring new mothers from breast feeding their babies has been lack of suitable places for this, when they are away from home. So, in addition to considering offering cash...

2
Titus 12.11.13 10:11am
Titus
Top Cop tells crims "We will catch you. We will cock up. We will compensate you"

Metropolitan Police Commissioner Bernard Hogan-Howe has emerged from a media training session and issued this 'get tough' message to Britain's criminals. 'If you have committed a heinous crime, I...

14
ronseal 12.11.13 8:52am
deceangli
Philippines grateful for Dimbleby tattoo

Typhoon survivors were given some respite today, when the UK’s media redirected their focus onto a more newsworthy topic. As one orphan put it: ‘It helps put the loss of over 10,000 lives in...

0
Wrenfoe 12.11.13 8:32am
Wrenfoe
White supremacist enclave founded in Dakota: Indians have reservations

.////// actually just an excuse to post this...

2
pere floza 12.11.13 7:58am
Sinnick
Revealed: Osborne's Valet Running the Economy

In a frank interview with the Economist, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, loveable upper-class scatterbrain George Osborne has revealed that the British Economy is in fact being run by his...

3
blokefromstoke 12.11.13 7:53am
Wrenfoe
Newspapers set date for charity 'Middleton-free' front page

Newspapers including the Daily Mail and the Daily Telegraph have agreed to run special charity editions later this month with no picture of Kate Middleton appearing on the front page. The novelty,...

2
andrewmellor 12.11.13 7:53am
Sinnick
Heroin traffickers hold a minute's silence for five million wasted poppies 3
sydalg 12.11.13 12:07am
Squudge
Science News : LibDems Explode on Contact with Marmite

Scientists have discovered that Marmite’s ‘polarising’ quality is, quite literally, fatal to Liberal Democrats. “It was a chance discovery, really”, said Dr John Cunningham, the researcher...

3
deceangli 12.11.13 12:04am
Squudge
Cattle join protest against badger cull

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=770086799683849&set=a.149174291775106.33236.100000476093432&type=1&theater [quote]Paterson's got a new bonnet badge until he sees sense. We need...

0
Wry_Eye 11.11.13 11:38pm
Wry_Eye
Sex offending community shocked as one of its members is exposed as a Radio 1 DJ 0
ronseal 11.11.13 11:29pm
ronseal
Feminism's Germaine Greer still not apologising for Eve's Garden of Eden fiasco

Germaine Greer, the chief executive officer for Feminism Inc, has dodged questions on whether she intends to apologise for the Garden of Eden incident, which saw mankind banished from paradise for...

2
ronseal 11.11.13 10:59pm
ronseal
Local man's inspirational quote to be smarter criticized for being stupid 0
Dumbnews 11.11.13 10:57pm
Dumbnews
UK''s Favourite Elvis Sandwich poll abandoned: 2 die, 1 still locked in toilet. 1
CulchaVulcha 11.11.13 10:07pm
nickb
Payday lender told to drop "Money Fairy" from Ads

Broadcasting Standards Watchdog Ofcom have instructed payday loan company Moola to drop the character of Molly The Magical Money Fairy from television commercials aired during Children's TV. In the...

3
blokefromstoke 11.11.13 7:48pm
Wrenfoe
One-eyed king "only person not on disability benefit" in country of the blind 1
sydalg 11.11.13 7:47pm
Wrenfoe
5 million war dead not remembered by alzheimer's sufferers.

Best we forget...

1
spoole2112 11.11.13 7:42pm
Wrenfoe