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Man invents paper that wont cut for the office 0
gaijintendo 3 years

and military grade cover-sheets for tactical warfare...

John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John called on for Greece re-make. 0
RJWinter 3 years
Saudi Woman Lashed in Drink Drive Shock 0
medici2471 3 years
Workers in flooded ruler factory saved by raft of measures 23
Des Custard 3 years
Coldplay ‘only partly responsible’ says coroner 2
Gerontius 3 years

A coroner who passed a verdict of ‘hmmm not really sure’ on a man who died while attending an outdoor festival in Somerset concluded that the death could not be put down ‘solely to Coldplay’s...

BAE staff unions beg Government to start another war now "Lives depend on it!" 2
dvo4fun 3 years
God says Hi-de-Hi to David Croft. 3
Mrblacker 3 years

More too soon...

Man who shot himself 'killed himself' finds lengthy inquiry 3
SpankyMonkey 3 years
Recession latest: door factory to close. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
TV: New series investigates the Stephen Fry phenomenon 2
Clarky 3 years

A new five-part series will explore the growing phenomenon of Stephen Fry-dominated TV documentaries. ‘Planet Fry’ will investigate why, with many other brainy presenters available, producers...

Burgled door furniture manufacturer announces 3000 knob losses 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Police taking theft of laughing gas from hospital 'very seriously' 0
Clarky 3 years

a spokesperson giggled...

Dog’s sphincter applies for heritage status. 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

The dog’s owner, Mr. Dale Farmer, said “any shit-hole can now apply, apparently”...

Jeremy Paxman set to interview Tevez about threatening to overrule Mancini 0
QorbeQ 3 years
Challenging day for Dr Christian as his mum guests on Embarrassing Bodies 16
allmyownstunts 3 years

Normally unflappable Dr Christian Jessen’s silky consulting skills were tested to their fullest today as his mother surprised him by guesting on his no-holds-barred medical show. Normally a...

Egg packing plant workers laid off 0
greg various 3 years

Due to competition from cheap imports...

BBC presenters aghast as trader pours scorn on efforts to save the red squirrel 6
Golgo13 3 years

For the second day running, an outspoken City trader left interviewers open-mouthed as he admitted that traders 'don't really care that much' about the prospect of red squirrel extinction in the UK...

Jaded sign language interpreter just going through the motions 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Latest airport security clampdown forces passengers to wear leotards 3
3 years

Britain's beleaguered airline passengers are facing a new initiative from next month, that will ensure flying remains as disquieting as ever. In an effort to stop terrorists from smuggling yoghurts...

Troubled razor blade manufacturer threatens to cut workforce 11
Screenie 3 years
Man thrown out of thai restaurant for not wearing one. 0
RJWinter 3 years
BAE systems admits defeat and starts producing Happy Meal toys. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Economists hire private investigator to track down the "Rational Consumer". 0
Al OPecia 3 years

No luck so far...

Star Austrian horse farmer, Jörg Spechmaier, now has stable relationship 1
RJWinter 3 years
Miliband speech sparks slump in propofol sales 0
roybland 3 years
Idea for a television programme: 0
Rhodium3 3 years

"Fat chance with Russell Grant". Barrell-chested astrologer and general nit-wit Russell Grant investigates preposterous claims and theories which are never likely to come true; Elvis working in an...

The Miliband: the wavelengths between which policies become undetectable. 3
Al OPecia 3 years
Shipman defends his actions through medium (with a little help from a friend) 1
witless 3 years

It was a seriously wrong move that cost him his entire career, but doctor, Harold Shipman, has spoken up from the dead through a medium and said it was appropriate for him to be punished. Porky...

Heather Mills breaks down on last leg of journey 3
witless 3 years

metal fatigue blamed...

Ten Milibands make one Centiband, claim scientists. 3
SpankyMonkey 3 years

I'm here all week, try the veal., By the same token, one thousand Milibands could form one Band. But it would play shit and repetitive music and the lead singers would fall out with each other over...