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North Korean pays ultimate price for "sound of one hand clapping" 0
wwwiz 13.12.13 4:04pm
Girl Enslaved By Siblings Groomed At Disco By Young Aristocrat With Foot Fetish - 2

All together now: "[i]Oh, no, she wasn't[/i]...

Titus 13.12.13 4:02pm
Queen to appear on "Celebrity Who Do You Think You Are ?" Christmas special.

The BBC revealed today that Her Majesty the Queen has agreed to appear on a "Who Do You Think You Are ?" Christmas special. A spokesman for the BBC said today that he was delighted that the Queen had...

ron.bruce 13.12.13 4:00pm
Christmas Family Rows Start Early In North Korea

The Dear Leader, Kim Jon-un, recently unfriended his uncle Chang Song-thaek and then (of course, this being North Korea) promptly had him shot, thus decisively preempting any potential disruption or...

Titus 13.12.13 3:11pm
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Queen “Placed Iron Filings in Nut Bowls”

The Old Bailey was in shock today when it was revealed that The Queen placed iron filings in snack bowls placed around her private apartments in order to determine which patrolling officers had been...

james_doc 13.12.13 2:52pm
A&E units miss 4 hour target. Rogue units have been clocking 3 hours 50 seconds 0
weematt 13.12.13 1:21pm
Cameron executes Miliband

Heard he was planning to overthrow the government...

farmer giles 13.12.13 11:44am
"The History Bots" Voted Nation's Favourite Gay Porn

News that The History Boys was voted the most popular play in the UK this week was given a double dose of good news when the pornographic version, The History Bots, was awarded the same accolade at...

james_doc 13.12.13 9:27am
Interpreters to be replaced by Skippy the Bush Kangaroo

Following the debacle of the Mandela memorial being overshadowed by "fake" sign language, all future international events will be staffed by Australia’s ‘favourite joey’. Skippy will translate...

Wrenfoe 13.12.13 9:04am
Exclusive: Prince Phillip's nuts. 0
Ref Minor 13.12.13 1:00am
Ref Minor
Thamsanqa Jantjie's version of the Macarena storms up the charts 0
irreverendJ 12.12.13 10:38pm
Newsbiscuit welcomes its new cookery guru Fat Bastard

Good evening satire lovers everywhere. After a hard day sniggering at the misfortunes of others more fortunate than you what could be better than a nice bowl of "Prime Minister Soup?" First assemble...

vulture1 12.12.13 9:01pm
Ignore PM comment judge says. 'I WOULD as well but that's irrelevent' 0
MADJEZ 12.12.13 6:34pm
Woman always dressed in fitness attire unsure what to wear in the gym 1
Dumbnews 12.12.13 6:27pm
Dick Everyman
Judge advises members of the public to ignore the Prime Minister 0
NewBiscuit 12.12.13 4:03pm
Outrage as world leaders ignore man having epileptic fit at Mandela funeral. 0
FOAD 12.12.13 3:57pm
Shares in Domino pizza and Kit Kat soar in Uruguay as marijuana legalised. 1
MADJEZ 12.12.13 3:56pm
Obama cancels all overseas visits

US stock markets dropped like a stone today following reports that the President had cancelled all overseas visits until further notice. News agencies were buzzing with speculation that Obama had...

Starchy 12.12.13 3:47pm
Scottish Yes Campaign Revealed to be Plot by Vexillology Industrial Complex

Politicians from across the spectrum were left stunned today, as it was revealed that the entire Scottish Independence Referendum campaign has been fabricated by a consortium of flag experts and...

Bigglesworth 12.12.13 2:28pm
Daily Mail Review: St. Francis's Nativity "a crime against theater"

Just last week this intrepid reporter was called upon to watch St. Francis's Nursery version of the Nativity for the simple reason that his daughter was playing Mary. Despite frequent arguments with...

WatcherMark 12.12.13 2:11pm
Simu-Lady share price plummets after CEO reveals new "talking" sex doll

"We were pretty confident with our life-like lineup of simuLadies. We can't understand why our clients have reacted so badly to this magical new technology."...

gaijintendo 12.12.13 2:01pm
Jose Mourinho devastated not to be named as Mandela's successor 0
custard cream 12.12.13 2:00pm
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Sign-language 'just bollocks' admit the deaf. 1
MADJEZ 12.12.13 1:57pm
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Dyslexic singer apologises to audience at Mandela memorial event

Apologies to MADJEZ for reworking his idea...

Sinnick 12.12.13 1:45pm
Jury told to ignore PM's Nigella comments...

and anything ever utter by Ed Milliband...

raudus 12.12.13 1:37pm
Schizophrenic signer was in two minds whether to carry on. 0
MADJEZ 12.12.13 1:32pm
Typo blamed for Mandela signing fiasco. As man claims he was hired as a SINGER. 0
MADJEZ 12.12.13 1:29pm
Mandela memorial sign language interpreter transferred to radio 1
custard cream 12.12.13 1:01pm
Prince Jailed for Sexual Assault On Unconscious Girl

"This was a shameful and disgusting crime" said Justice Neville Norbury, when jailing the prince for assaulting a young girl, who had been in a coma for more than 15 years following an industrial...

Titus 12.12.13 12:54pm
Sign language interpreter 'least fake attendee' at Mandela funeral 3
Squudge 12.12.13 11:56am
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