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British tourist refuses to pay French restaurant bill because custard was burnt

'It was ridiculous,' said Harry English of Kent. 'I had to smash the topping with a spoon, and when I'd done that there was nothing underneath. 'The mange-tout were a waste of money, too. They were...

Arthur 03.07.13 8:49pm
Uproar At Pedants' Association AGM When Chairman Reports "Less Members Joining"

The meeting became no calmer when he went on to speak of the membership being decimated by competition from other organisations...

Titus 03.07.13 8:40pm
Cat Stevens Matthew And Son Now the norm in British industry

A recent survey by the Council of Pretentious Songwriting has revealed that an ancient track by beardy tree-hugging crooner Cat Stevens - Matthew And Son - from the days of black and white...

Paddy Berzinski 03.07.13 8:27pm
Welsh police refuse to reveal what Operation Ewe-tree is about 1
sydalg 03.07.13 4:55pm
Swansea Signing Shelvey Shoddy 0
victimms 03.07.13 4:35pm
Men 'thrilled' with retailers plans to provide 'safe zones' on shopping trips

Men all across the UK were 'over-the-moon' and 'relieved' today after major retailers John lewis, Debenhams and Primark all agreed plans to revolutionise the way men experience shopping with their...

Jesus H 03.07.13 4:12pm
Jesus H
Tesco PR department “Can’t be arsed anymore”

Tesco one of the world’s largest supermarket chains said they have been forced to put all of their Public Relations department on permanent leave after they collectively decided ‘they couldn’t...

theinvisiblecitychannels 03.07.13 4:03pm
Mandela amazed to learn Rolling Stones still alive 1
sydalg 03.07.13 3:52pm
'1001 Books to Read Before You Die', fails to feature itself

Literary paradox generated...

Kirby Muxloe 03.07.13 3:45pm
Kirby Muxloe
Cat caught with stolen cream burns evidence 0
sydalg 03.07.13 3:23pm
Village in shock so man hides behind his 'wonderwall'

Reports are coming in that today was going to be the day that they were going to bring it back to you. Although this has caused some confusion in some quarters, they have been told that by now they...

Lens Cap 03.07.13 2:23pm
Investigation into cheap clothing brands at Wimbledon

"The number of tennis players sporting budget clothing brands at Wimbledon has reached epic proportions," said a spokesperson for the world-famous Lawn Tennis Club. "There seems to be an inverse...

Boutros 03.07.13 2:19pm
Nolan to direct 'gritty' reboot of Green Cross Code Man

Christopher Nolan has announced his plans to produce a brand new version of the Green Cross Code Man – “a Green Cross for the 21st century,” as the director himself phrased it. Some readers...

Kirby Muxloe 03.07.13 1:41pm
Assange Plans Escape from Ecuadorian Embassy While Everyone Watches Snowden 2
Titus 03.07.13 1:31pm
Nicole Farhi Administrators announces M.O.D reservists to get £40m of "Chic" kit

More later...

Wrenfoe 03.07.13 12:18pm
Teachers speak out against Goveability testing for 7 year olds.

Today the results of the first round of Michael Gove’s new tests for 7 year-olds are released, to the dismay of teachers and parents alike., Top Infants’ teacher Miss Lovely explains: Here is an...

aalison 03.07.13 11:57am
Abu Qatada vows to watch Wimbledon Final

Despite reports in several tabloid newspapers suggesting he could be out of the country by Sunday, Abu Qatada is as committed as ever to watching the SW19 final. “The Wimbledon final is a great...

Sheepback 03.07.13 11:57am
Brokeback Mountain hits the West End, starring Keith Chegwin and Les Dennis

After months of media speculation, theatre company West Star Productions confirmed today that a musical stage production of Brokeback Mountain will hit London’s West End this December, and will...

Jesus H 03.07.13 11:55am
Jesus H
Disgraced surgeon arrested for importuning girls for organ implant 1
medici2471 03.07.13 11:10am
Archeaologist denies that return to Richard III site is just to find his keys 0
gregle 03.07.13 11:09am
Une crème brûlée ne nécessite qu'un seul œuf. Parce que c'est un oeuf. 0
beau-jolly 03.07.13 10:07am
Smethwick man receives worlds largest chinese burn 0
Backup Brian 03.07.13 9:55am
Backup Brian
Asians to be turned into acadamies to help increase their BMI. 0
Not Amused 03.07.13 9:28am
Not Amused
After Lead, Chapels Now Stripped Of Organs - Thieves Claim 'Assumed Consent'

Titus 03.07.13 9:26am
Death Penalty To Be Introduced At Wimbledon For Anyone Who Shouts 'Come On Tim!' 1
Titus 03.07.13 7:20am
Japan encouraged by Wales' organ donation vote. Whalers on the way. 2
Not Amused 03.07.13 7:06am
Silvio Berlusconi urges ‘presumed consent’ for organ fondling... 3
Tripod 03.07.13 7:01am
[duplicate] 2
NewBiscuit 03.07.13 6:43am
Emperor Caligula storms to power in Whitehall

In a widely unexpected move today, Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, better known as the Emperor Caligula, stormed into the Houses of Parliament to take control of the United Kingdom. The...

blacklesbianandproudofit 03.07.13 12:36am
New Samsung phone optimized for taking pictures of yourself 1
Dumbnews 02.07.13 11:36pm