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Take Heart

Heart surgery to restart at Leeds General after surgeons manage to complete "Operation" game without triggering the buzzer...

0
irreverendJ 05.04.13 10:36am
irreverendJ
Tevez to take up Barton's number ten HI-Vis shirt

Could play as sweeper?...

3
Nosey 05.04.13 10:34am
dvo4fun
Boris Johnson calls for eradication of urban Wombles. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 05.04.13 10:24am
dominic_mcg
Thousands of outdoor smokers perish during UK 'Big Freeze'

Figures released today reveal that 15,436 UK smokers froze to death during the month of March - many perishing in broad daylight outside High Street coffee shops whilst sat down quietly minding their...

2
05.04.13 9:25am
Jeremy Hunt
Daily Mail finds immigration angle increases life expectancy of dull news story 0
sydalg 05.04.13 9:04am
sydalg
Tourette's charity turns down Gordon Ramsay's offer to teach new swear words 0
sydalg 05.04.13 8:49am
sydalg
Labour Politician Admits Infinite Child Benefit Entitlement Has Drawbacks

Well that would be news, wouldn't it?...

3
Thewoodenleg 05.04.13 8:26am
sigmund
George Osborne 'baffled' by Shipman murders

Chancellor George Osborne yesterday confessed he was at a loss to understand how serial killer Dr Harold Shipman could have murdered 250 people without, like Mick Philpott, being on benefits. 'Dr...

3
roybland 05.04.13 7:57am
Titus
New Gary Glitter tour is financially viable with increase in support acts 0
Dick Everyman 05.04.13 7:35am
Dick Everyman
Coldplay eye Levi Roots' market with launch of Insipid Shite Insipid Shite sauce 2
Idiot 05.04.13 7:27am
Dick Everyman
EU recommends bees switch to Google maps from Apple maps

Swarm soon...

0
Not Amused 05.04.13 7:16am
Not Amused
Torn peniel skin epidemic after Michelle Keegan’s instagram boob. 0
Hooch 05.04.13 12:50am
Hooch
Ruth Jones and Robert Lindsay in BAFTA nominated performance for SkyTV ad 0
ronseal 05.04.13 12:17am
ronseal
Facebook friends hail “Victory for common sense” as North Korea backs down.

“I have to say that we were surprised at how effective the campaign was.” said Jody Morgan, a “part-time classroom assistant and full-time mother” as her Facebook profile quips, “but it...

0
BillyBitzer 04.04.13 11:09pm
BillyBitzer
Prison gangs lament that it'll be a struggle to knock Mick Philpott's teeth out

Concerns have been raised by hard-core prison vigilantes about exactly how they'll manage to successfully knock convicted child-killer Mick Philpott's teeth out. "When we get nonces on the wing,"...

5
Paddy Berzinski 04.04.13 11:02pm
Paddy Berzinski
Roger Ebert dead at 70. 'He was my hero', laments Jimmy Krankie 0
topfotogmw 04.04.13 9:38pm
topfotogmw
Hair Today, Heart Tomorrow

Japanese scientists have found a link between male baldness and heart disease. Extensive clinical studies have found a proven link between a thinning crown and the likelihood of an early death...

9
Thewoodenleg 04.04.13 8:11pm
Thewoodenleg
Traces of horse meat found at Aintree. 0
Maverick 04.04.13 8:11pm
Maverick
Ageing pop stars still pretending to take Yoko seriously. 0
Maverick 04.04.13 8:05pm
Maverick
Cambridge University Netball Team ban the use of acronyms 4
baron la croix 04.04.13 7:59pm
Maverick
"Come On Eileen" Headlines Dublin Erotic Film Festival. 14
rikkor 04.04.13 7:33pm
quango
Dogging, yes. But what's 'catting'?

Having sex in the garden at 1 am, howling like a banshee, then scratching the bejesus out of each other. Big in Scandinavia apparently...

0
Thewoodenleg 04.04.13 7:25pm
Thewoodenleg
New Facebook Home app deletes all your other apps, folders and widgets...

Mark Zuckerberg: "The internet is a better place if all you see is photos of friends' babies and ads provided my my company" Developing...

0
GordonChen 04.04.13 7:16pm
GordonChen
Lance Armstrong banned from swimming event after giving urine sample too early

more soon....

0
ginty 04.04.13 6:53pm
ginty
Thousands of outdoor smokers perish during UK 'Big Freeze'

Figures released today reveal that 15,436 UK smokers froze to death during the month of March - many perishing in broad daylight outside High Street coffee shops whilst sat down quietly minding their...

0
04.04.13 6:36pm
North Korea reminded traditional etiquette is to kick off on Belgium 3
Ironduke 04.04.13 6:21pm
Ironduke
Sunderland to play in Brown Shirts. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.04.13 5:40pm
Al OPecia
Dave Might be Able but that Don't Make Me Cain, says Ed

Biblical narrative to follow...

0
Thewoodenleg 04.04.13 5:19pm
Thewoodenleg
Philpott's wife and mistress hammer out an agreement on conjugal visits 0
sydalg 04.04.13 4:55pm
sydalg
Scientists close to an explanation of "His Dark Materials". More soon.

Sorry Nick and ta...

0
Al OPecia 04.04.13 4:55pm
Al OPecia