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Cameron: 'Salmond and Sturgeon have had their chips!' 0
Squudge 15.02.14 8:28pm
Squudge
SNP leaders Salmond and Sturgeon deny referendum 'fishy business' 1
custard cream 15.02.14 8:27pm
Squudge
Britons still inexplicably keen to talk about the weather... 0
deskpilot3 15.02.14 5:48pm
deskpilot3
'Simply NHS' to be launched

Under the watchful eye of former Marks & Spencer boss, Sir Stuart Rose, the National Health Service is to offer a range of ‘everyday food products’ and ‘must-have kitchen ingredients’...

2
Wrenfoe 15.02.14 5:45pm
Squudge
Incest scandal man starts own cereal company, Oedipus Breks 1
sydalg 15.02.14 5:38pm
Kevin the Swan
Mourinho brands Finney a serial failure over lack of titles. 0
Ref Minor 15.02.14 5:33pm
Ref Minor
Fury as media man dubs scandal-hit Green fingered revolt the GardenGate Spring

A furious row broke out in the media last night, over whether an event was a Spring or a Gate. The event, a scandal involving a popular uprising by some horny handed sons of toil, has polarised...

0
ronseal 15.02.14 4:24pm
ronseal
Food Shortage In Flood-Hit Areas Due To Invasion By Hordes Of Hungry Journalists

And needless to say, the alcohol ran out weeks ago. [Hat tips to all the other posters who have already offered similar comments.]...

0
Titus 15.02.14 3:58pm
Titus
News outlets unable to extend floods coverage due to saturation. 1
Al OPecia 15.02.14 12:50pm
godly1966
Isle of Wight man wins Olympic gold in "Slipping over on a frozen puddle" 0
Son of Barnabas 15.02.14 12:31pm
Son of Barnabas
Staines hospital reports many new babies born with webbed feet

http://th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2010/116/5/b/Phase_of_a_Mermaid_by_snakeskin123.jpg...

0
Son of Barnabas 15.02.14 12:28pm
Son of Barnabas
Tom Finney finally stops dribbling... 0
Tripod 15.02.14 12:25pm
Tripod
Mitchell and Met chief agree to do 'paper, scissor, stone' to settle dispute 1
Underconstruction 15.02.14 12:22pm
Son of Barnabas
World’s oldest living human still alive

“How do you feel?” asked a top journalist, wading in wellies “Um” “we gotta stop you there as we have heard someone nearly tripped over something in Sittingbourne – Kay!” “Yes...

2
farmer giles 15.02.14 12:18pm
Son of Barnabas
Ironman triathlete admits 24-hour TV presenting marathon was 'Really hard'

Frederik Van Lierde, the world champion at the Ironman triathlon, generally regarded as one of the most difficult endurance events on the planet has spoken of his exhaustion after completing a...

1
antharrison 15.02.14 12:08pm
Son of Barnabas
Man disappointed he doesn't fancy Emma Watson more

A man today expressed his disappointment at the attractiveness of former Harry Potter actress Emma Watson. "Don't get me wrong; I was never physically attracted to her as Hermione Granger, though I...

4
Adrian Bamforth 15.02.14 11:42am
beau-jolly
If M & S boss doesn’t fix NHS, we can take him back for a replacement... 0
Tripod 15.02.14 10:59am
Tripod
Preachers backtrack after ‘God coming out as gay’ revelation revealed to be hoax

Bishops and ministers everywhere had already announced their new gay brand of celibacy following reports of God coming out as gay, only to later discover the reports were false. The Supreme Deity, of...

0
kga6 15.02.14 9:43am
kga6
Somerset levels limited food used to feed thousands of reporters!

Local residents in the Somerset levels are facing severe food shortages because pubs, restaurants and shops are forced to feed thousands of news crews who search for another flood story. One...

0
2escapees 15.02.14 8:55am
2escapees
Controversial farmer publishes till-all memoir 0
sydalg 15.02.14 4:42am
sydalg
More 70s stars face nicknomination 0
sydalg 15.02.14 4:38am
sydalg
Met Office blames current drought on climate change.

"The science is settled!."...

0
Maverick 15.02.14 2:38am
Maverick
Skeleton wins Lizzie Yarnold gold

More to follow...

0
apepper 14.02.14 11:16pm
apepper
Darkness singer Justin Hawkins happy to provide his Chertsey Sausage.

Though he's not sure how it will help with the floods...

1
MADJEZ 14.02.14 11:02pm
Adrian Bamforth
Doctors overwhelmed with "crossed-fingers syndrome" as police grill Piers Morgan

Doctors across Britain are reporting a surge of people afflicted with "over crossed" fingers as Piers Morgan is interviewed by police. One victim explained; "I've hoped for a day like this, and now...

0
apepper 14.02.14 10:59pm
apepper
Oscar Pistorius new girlfriend hoping for Valentines Day surprise. 3
MADJEZ 14.02.14 10:32pm
MADJEZ
News24 voted 'longest disaster movie of all time' 0
Squudge 14.02.14 10:27pm
Squudge
NHS "Feeling under the weather?" sign hits man on head. Writer go on strike

"I just can't compete any more now that God has signed up for Newsbiscuit I'm going back to poetry, sod it…ery...

2
vulture1 14.02.14 9:16pm
Squudge
Holland demands Thames barrier be raised to keep water IN 0
Squudge 14.02.14 7:39pm
Squudge
Local man now aware: ‘romance of the FA cup’ no substitute for flowers... 0
Tripod 14.02.14 7:27pm
Tripod