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Putting down of injured jockeys to be outlawed confirms racing authority

The British Horseracing Authority has confirmed that the practice of putting down injured jockeys is to be banned. The announcement has been made to coincide with this Saturday's Grand National and...

bookiesfriend 31.03.14 8:25pm
Cameron re-assured that "Britain has the best paedophiles in Europe" 3
Underconstruction 31.03.14 8:18pm
Whinging children face jail

The Queen will announce at the state opening of Parliament in June that a law to rein in whinging in children is planned in the Government's legislative agenda for the coming year. A Government...

monkeyrepublic 31.03.14 8:10pm
London drifts back to its rightful place, 5 hours from New York

After toying for two weeks with a closer, four-hour relationship with New York, London this weekend decided that it wasn't yet ready to tie itself to a metropolitan companion whose brutishness,...

wwwiz 31.03.14 7:47pm
Schools allowed to redact 'stuff they forgot to teach'

'It's a question of faith,' said Mehudi Menuminimin, headteacher of the Anglo Jewish Muslim school of Hackney. 'I mean, if we've forgotten to teach the little darlings something basic like Evolution...

throngsman 31.03.14 7:21pm
Children to be imprisoned for being so awful even their parents can't love them. 0
FOAD 31.03.14 6:50pm
Queen announces that she will email herself on her 100th Birthday

Buckingham Palace has announced that Her Majesty The Queen will break with tradition and email herself on the occasion of her 100th birthday. In a 'conscious uncoupling' from protocol, she will use...

Underconstruction 31.03.14 6:32pm
Jo Frost to be charged over use of naughty step. 0
Ref Minor 31.03.14 6:27pm
Ref Minor
"More prayers to be answered" as heaven gets fibre broadband

Religious leaders are excited by the news that heaven has finally been upgraded to BT's Infinity Broadband. The pope explained, "This will really make a difference; until now God has only be able to...

apepper 31.03.14 6:22pm
Yellowstone earthquake caused by 'Fracking Booboo' 0
Underconstruction 31.03.14 6:20pm
Chancellor commits to fight to think about targeting full employment. 0
Ref Minor 31.03.14 6:13pm
Ref Minor
Newsbiscuit site first to be prosecuted under new 'Cinderella Law'

A child known simply as 'Q' (it comes after P) is the subject of the first 'Cinderella Law' prosecution against the Newsbiscuit website after it consistently ignored his pleas for attention…MTF...

Underconstruction 31.03.14 6:09pm
Pubilc reassured that climate change won't affect World Cup.

Get your priorities right !...

MADJEZ 31.03.14 6:03pm
125 callers to 'Gardeners Question Time' ask "Why me?" 0
Underconstruction 31.03.14 5:47pm
Confusion as 125 workers at Kew Royal Botanic placed on garden leave 4
Backup Brian 31.03.14 5:44pm
Kew Gardens prunes 125

more cuts soon...

Not Amused 31.03.14 4:31pm
Not Amused
Armitage Shanks announce launch of Sat Lav

Legendary sanitary ware makers Armitage Shanks today announced a unique initiative to help people caught short to find their nearest public convenience. "Our Sat Lav system will display and read out...

custard cream 31.03.14 4:03pm
Teachers without correct kit made to strike in their underpants 3
Adrian Bamforth 31.03.14 3:47pm
Yellowstone national park rattled by largest earthquake in 34 years

Yellowstone National Park which sits atop one of the worlds largest super-volcanoes was rattled on Sunday by a magnitude 4.8 earthquake, the biggest recorded there since 1890. One resident of the...

footinmouth 31.03.14 3:45pm
Climate Change will be catastrophic, but surfers will enjoy it 0
camz 31.03.14 3:21pm
Nike launch ‘National Disgrace’ shirts for England fans...

In the run-up to the World Cup in Brazil, Nike have launched a new range of replica football shirts. In addition to the ‘Match’ shirt (£90) and the ‘Stadium’ shirt (a snip at just £60), a...

Tripod 31.03.14 3:20pm
Gepetto charged with emulsional abuse for using water-based paints on Pinocchio

Pinocchio told the court his father was manipulative,"always pulling his strings". He was also abrasive, told the youngster he "wasn't a real boy", and failed to treat him properly which lead to him...

Ian Searle 31.03.14 2:55pm
Ian Searle
"A Muslim hate preacher would get to go to Guantanamo" complains angry Christian 0
Bigglesworth 31.03.14 2:50pm
NB team arrange salvage mission to retrieve toy thrown out of Teleport's pram 1
irreverendJ 31.03.14 2:40pm
"Extremely difficult" for independent Scotland to join EU Summer Time.

Scotland's time could be running out, after David Cameron's declaration yesterday that an independent Scotland would be expelled from both British Summer Time and Greenwich Mean Time. It would be...

robnotyou 31.03.14 2:33pm
Manchester United commissions ‘Wankers Nil - Moyes One’ banner 0
Midfield Diamond 31.03.14 2:10pm
Midfield Diamond
Prince William expected to pay off student loan "in next five years" 1
tomholder 31.03.14 1:52pm
Parents Prosecuted For 'Emotional Cruelty' Regarding Santa Claus 'Inaccuracies'. 0
Titus 31.03.14 1:16pm
Somerset Levels To Be Dredged At Last - But Only Search For Missing Airliner 0
Titus 31.03.14 1:11pm
Independent Scotland 'cannot keep UK weasels'

The main Westminster political parties have confirmed their shared commitment to opposing a 'mustelid union' with an independent Scotland. Leader of the 'Badger Together' campaign, Old...

monkeyrepublic 31.03.14 12:02pm