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Japanese banana ban not bananas 2
witless 3 years

The Japanese government has acted swiftly, in response to the radiation hot spot detected in Tokyo, by banning banana imports, which they have also reclassified as a class A drug for good measure....

Cameron pans Letwin for "breaking recycling guidelines". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Prince Charles divorces Camilla after introduction of horse whipping ban 0
Perks 3 years
“I was groomed.” A victim of abuse speaks out 7
henry deal 3 years

By Deirdre Longford “At one point I was being groomed by up to four people- two men and two women., They would force me onto all fours then shove me around as they took turns to rub a leather...

Corporate manager awes kids with tales of "fighting fires" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Poor people should 'skip' Christmas, Government says 1
roybland 3 years

Poor people should consider skipping Christmas this year to show they are really poor, the Government says.,  , 'If, despite our benefit cuts, poor people are seen enjoying themselves at...

Change in succession rules brings British Monarchy fully into the 19th Century 1
JohnA 3 years
Batman to dress as a 'civvy' to get kids back 4
Perks 3 years
Triple Velvet's 3 year old star publishes his autobiography 0
Perks 3 years

Once a star in every nursery and playground, now, a washed up has been, 3 year old Dylan Jones tells the story of his life in his autobiography 'Toys out of the pram'. Read the exclusive...

'Eat less, exercise more', says government on obesity 4
SpankyMonkey 3 years

People need to be more honest about how much they eat and drink if obesity levels are to be reduced, ministers say., The government's obesity strategy said on average adults are exceeding their...

Al Qaeda running low on virgins after martyr surge 0
vertical 3 years

'Keeping it at 53 a piece is killing us' says virgin recruiter Hamid Al Hymeny...

Shetland oil developments: "It's good news for Britain!" says London Government 3
dvo4fun 3 years
Cameron confirms succession proposals will definitely prevent Clegg taking power 0
simonjmr 3 years
Dale Farm residents buy a cat in bid to avoid eviction 11
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

More soon Has this been done already? It must have been, surely it's too obvious not to have been done?...

My Blackberry is worki 4
Griffin 3 years
Thames Barrier inventor dies – tributaries flood in 8
witless 3 years

more to follow...

Dale Farm travellers' fury at being forced to travel 0
apepper 3 years

Traveller's living in the illegal Dale Farm development are furious that their traditional way of life of "not travelling" has been overturned by the high court...

Government condemns 'Guttop Computer' release amid obesity crisis talks 1
kga6 3 years

Computer manufacturers, HP, who also sell a range of table sauces, are set to capitalise on their combined knowledge of the food and computer industries with the release of the 'Guttop', a portable...

Paul Merson denies drink-driving. "I only had Coke" 1
Perks 3 years
'Propping houses up on a ramp would solve housing slump,' car dealer claims. 12
Boutros 3 years

"It's something we've been doing for years and it never fails to attract attention," explained car dealer Cliff Sweeney, gesturing towards a second-hand Rover parked on a steep ramp, the back wheels...

Basildon Council in new appeal for fresh ideas to waste another £18m 1
roybland 3 years

Basildon Council is asking the public to suggest innovative ways the council can waste another £18m of taxpayers' money now that the Dale Farm battle appears to be over. 'Admittedly,' said leader...

Man has 1965 Austin-Healey Sprite Haynes Manual pejazzle 0
simonjmr 3 years
Fitting of security devices described as “Alarming” 6
beau-jolly 3 years
Plagiarist murder sparks fear of copycat killings 2
button 3 years
Unemployment figures to fall as Government agrees being a mum is a full time job - 2 30
Perks 3 years

Unemployment figures are expected to fall drastically over the quarter as the government pledges to agree with an often thrown around phrase, and recognise 'being a mum' as a full-time job. ...

Festival 'unsustainable' claims Council 0
tedweasel 3 years

Doubt hangs over the future of Ilkley's famous Literature Festival following a scathing attack by Bradford City Council., The Festival, opened by W H Auden in 1973 has been an annual two week event...

Marathon runner uses public transport to go from first to last 2
Perks 3 years

A man in his 30's, has gone from first to last in the London Marathon, after trying to use public transport to shorten the course. Bob Loans from Cornwall had a comfortable 3minute lead as he...

Fish rescued after Marillion dries up 0
beau-jolly 3 years
Clergy outraged as all references to ‘Christmas’ removed from explicit sex film 1
Gary Stanton 3 years

Senior members of the clergy have denounced the decision to remove all references to Christmas from top-selling pornographic DVD ‘Horny XXXmas’ as an example of political correctness gone mad, it...

Special offer: BlackBerry with free world map of telephone boxes. 0
Ostsee 3 years