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Big Society caused by lack of exercise 0
thogg 2 years

David Cameron will later today announce new measures to takle the big society. It is believed that reducing child obesity will create a smaller society in the long run for Britain, a happier outcome...
Police issued with drums 0
lukipela 2 years

. in Home Office initiative to get more officers pounding the beat. More soon...
White Cliffs of Dover to be dismantled in Defence cuts 0
thogg 2 years

Liam Fox elaborated today on the much anticipated Defence cuts. "We've had to make some tough decisions" he said, standing on an aircraft carrier. "And, well, we can't really justify the huge...
Vuvuzelas banned in the House of Commons 0
thogg 2 years

After much controversy surrounding the South African wind pipes they have been banned from the House of Commons by the Speaker. Apparently the constant loud monotonous droning of MPs was missed....
Hey Squirrels! We don't want to hurt you! 4
Tristan Shout 2 years

Why do you run away at the first sight of us? At the first foot-fall? We're not trying to hurt you. We just want a closer look at you., People don't eat squirrels any more., Did they ever? Oh I...
Father fights tooth and nail for custody of kids 0
newbietryer 2 years

Fails. Judge awards sole custody to nail, visitation rights to tooth. No more to follow...
New 'Monster star' may be huge ball of detritus left over from the credit crunch 1
la maga 2 years
BP stops pretending to be green. CEO: 'Fuck it, not much point now is there?' 0
la maga 2 years
Lidl to stock range of "Not Overly Concerned" budget panty liners. 1
MrChigleysAunt 2 years
Kettle accuses Pot of playing race card 0
ronseal 2 years

Pol Pot has been accused etc...
Durex shares inflated with introduction of S&M Cillit Lube 0
Erlang 2 years
Cameron denies Afhgan confusion 0
riesler 2 years
Ashes free-to-air TV ruling deferred until 2013 0
riesler 2 years

Crematoria uncertain of implications...
YarlsWood to close: Cheese production to cease immediately... 0
virtuallywill 2 years

more whey later...
Astrologers warn walking on cracks will become luckier after August 0
gaijintendo 2 years

As Mercury becomes retrograde and all the other fire associated planets will be in ascension, walking on the middle of slabs or paving blocks will be more dangerous. The National Astrology...
Two little yobs,by Rolf Harris. 2
biggles 2 years

Two little yobs had two little toys, Each had a wooden hammer, Drugged up they played each summers day, Vandalising their local manor, One little brat then had a mishap, Broke off his hammers...
Obama praises Bertie Basset. 0
Ian Searle 2 years
Stormont demands decomissioning of kettles and tea paraphenalia. 0
simonjmr 2 years
Were BP behind the Bubonic Plague? 13
The All New Jeni B 2 years

Did the Petro-Chemical giant start the Great Fire of London?, Was the British company at fault for Hitler's genocidal tendencies?, Were the BP executives on the grassy knoll? These, and more...
Bankers panic buy kettles after recovery is said to be running out of steam. 0
Basil_B 2 years
Afghan leader takes offence as cockney squaddie threatens to shit on him. 0
Basil_B 2 years

' I only said I was dying for a pony & trap and I was desperate to use the Karzai' said Corporal Walmsley of The Royal Dragoon Guards also of Bethnel Green, East London...
Failed drawing board designer Ike A. Stoa finds himself in a quandary 0
arrghgarry 2 years

and wonders what he will go back to ...
Cameron and Obama lick Whitehouse windows to reaffirm special needs relationship 0
Basil_B 2 years
Scottish are UK's Biggest Drinkers Reveals Shocking NHS Survey 1
Sharpehunter 2 years

Scenes of shock, horror and complete disbelief were expressed by health officials across the land today as a just released NHS Survey revealed that the Scottish are the UK's biggest drinkers. Rab C...
Controversy as Marathon adopts Tour de France rules... 0
riesler 2 years

first 150 across the line were all given the same time...
Cillit Bang and Finish, perfect partners for Durex 2
MrChigleysAunt 2 years
The Real Taleban condemn divisive Taleban policies 0
simonjmr 2 years
Taleban planted "iced tea" bomb at Stormont claim Real IRA 0
simonjmr 2 years
Village idiot has moment of nostalgia for Bush era 'When idiots ruled the world' 0
la maga 2 years
Miss Selfridge mis-sells fridge 0
Pabst Blue Ribbon 2 years