Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Trace of Wildebeest found in Lion Bar 1
Drylaw 08.02.13 10:46pm
deskpilot3
Q&As

Is Paul McCartney a Christian? Sir,, The successful singer-songwriter Paul McCartney is indeed a practising Christian. I know so because I baptised him! Paul came to our little church in Beadle...

14
Mik Bulk 08.02.13 10:05pm
nickb
Near-Miss asteroid is not "made of fucking horsemeat!" rants astronomer

And nor does it have any connection with burgers or lasagne. "That would just be ridiculous," said an exasperated Professor Bob Stansfield. The near miss, anticipated to occur a week from now has...

0
Paddy Berzinski 08.02.13 10:03pm
Paddy Berzinski
Dancing in the streets of Brussels as EU Budget agreed

"Peace in our time", says UK PM Cameron, "I've sorted out Tunisia, Libya, Egypt, Afghanistan, Iraq and Mali - and topped it with the EU!", Cameron to be offered kingship by grateful nation...

2
custard cream 08.02.13 9:52pm
custard cream
Woman with 600 bedrooms escapes 'bedroom tax'

An elderly London woman who lives in social housing accommodation with 600 bedrooms will not have her housing subsidy cut although she has 599 spare bedrooms. From April social housing tenants will...

2
roybland 08.02.13 9:29pm
Squudge
Traces of the Chinese Year of the Horse found in the Year of the Rooster

Gung hei fat choi!...

1
Ian Searle 08.02.13 8:27pm
Underconstruction
Racehorse found to contain only 80% horse

The horse racing association has launched an urgent investigation following a routine test which discovered that a three year old race horse due to compete in this year's Grand National contains only...

0
Underconstruction 08.02.13 8:10pm
Underconstruction
Global match fixing scandal - Grimsby FC 'unlikeley to be implicated' claim 0
custard cream 08.02.13 8:04pm
custard cream
Further problems with Pantomime animals - Food Standards Agency

At a press conference held earlier today, Food Minister David Heath announced the results of the Food Standards Agency's extensive programme of DNA testing popular figures in the world of children's...

0
webcast 08.02.13 5:13pm
webcast
Cameron victorious in EU budget talks but UK will still pay more

Alice in Wonderland!...

0
custard cream 08.02.13 4:47pm
custard cream
Escargot found to contain traces of bogey

no surprise there then...

0
Lucy4 08.02.13 4:31pm
Lucy4
Latest shock revelation from FSA: Soylent Green isn't people! 0
Aviankid 08.02.13 4:09pm
Aviankid
Waitrose Praised For Assurances that all Horsemeat in Their Food is GM Free

The Friends of Green Earthpiece and various other paranoid Eco-Groups praised Waitrose for getting their priorities right. "I suppose there is always a proportion of hair, fur, hooves, trotters,...

0
Titus 08.02.13 3:37pm
Titus
Survey finds 100% of Michael Gove's pronouncements are horse**** 0
custard cream 08.02.13 3:16pm
custard cream
Horse Meat Danger is Real: "There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly ..." 0
Titus 08.02.13 3:10pm
Titus
Findus fish fingers contain 99% seahorse...

Haven't we had enough now?...

1
ThunderSquid 08.02.13 2:45pm
Squudge
No traces of originality found in the latest horse contamination jokes!

Extensive tests reveal no humour in most either...

0
topfotogmw 08.02.13 2:37pm
topfotogmw
Traces of horse found in Marc Almond. 0
wallster 08.02.13 2:35pm
wallster
NHS Celebrates Achieving Its ‘Needless Deaths’ Target

Top-level job-jockey NHS bureaucrats were congratulating themselves today on meeting their key performance target of over 3000 needless deaths. The key milestone was reached on Tuesday after...

7
daneade 08.02.13 2:12pm
dvo4fun
SNP Hopes Scots Voters Will Unfriend UK

In a bid to attract more young voters, the ballot papers for the forthcoming referedum are to be redesigned in order to make them more intelligible. Voters will be asked to tick "Like!" against...

9
Titus 08.02.13 1:52pm
Lens Cap
Bolshoi Ballet Director forced to wear Phantom of the Opera mask

Bolshoi Ballet Director forced to wear Phantom of the Opera mask, after acid attack...

1
jenlon 08.02.13 1:41pm
Lens Cap
GCSE maths students criticize Gove's 160° turn 9
charlies_hat 08.02.13 1:17pm
Titus
Findus launch new veggie range Uni-Quorn

Findus launch new veggie range Uni-Quorn...

0
alexlamb 08.02.13 1:13pm
alexlamb
"If I'd known I was selling Shergar I'd have charged extra " admits Spar owner 0
Nowherefast 08.02.13 12:55pm
Nowherefast
Tesco deny dog flesh in burgers although "Every Litter Helps"

More to follow...

0
apepper 08.02.13 12:52pm
apepper
Someone leaves a company who hasn't "made a key contribution to its success"

And who isn't "looking forward to exploring new opportunities.”...

0
Ian Searle 08.02.13 12:52pm
Ian Searle
'Kings in castles' Tories admit 1,000 year old manifesto

Pressure on the Conservative are increasing after it was admitted that the Tory manifesto dates back to a document written by William the Conqueror in 1035. The scandal started when political...

0
andygibbard 08.02.13 12:38pm
andygibbard
"Ermintrude" favourite for this year's Grand National

More every day, it seems...

0
Sir Lupus 08.02.13 12:29pm
Sir Lupus
Council worker lifts lid on emptying wheelie bins 1
weematt 08.02.13 12:11pm
Kramaring
Captain Birds Eye quizzed as Child DNA found in Fish Fingers ...

More soon shipmates!...

0
Kramaring 08.02.13 12:10pm
Kramaring