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Tables turned on 'annoying customers' with launch of

Businesses across the UK have welcomed the launch of the website, a platform for retail outlets of all kinds to rate and review their experiences with individual customers - in a...

Jesus H 02.08.13 9:01am
Jesus H
Interviewer Sacked For Not Interrupting And Failing To Argue With Intervewee

"We recognise that viewers and listeners are too stupid to judge for themselves if an intervewee is lying or being evasive, so it essential that a responsible interviewer should interrupt promptly...

Titus 02.08.13 7:47am
Government announces new Boris Johnson to be built in Thames estuary

and old one closed, .. fill in as required .., I'm a bit busy - sorry...

scribbler 02.08.13 6:53am
Wanted: |dead>, |alive> or 1/sqrt(2)(|dead> + |alive>): Schrödinger's cat 12
Smart Alex 01.08.13 8:37pm
sponge finger
BBC apologises for William penis pic. We thought it was Harry, says spokesman. 1
dominic_mcg 01.08.13 7:09pm
Einstein gets off stationary train as his station pulls up outside 0
Smart Alex 01.08.13 6:57pm
Smart Alex
Abortion law doesn't cover William Hague, MPs insist 0
sydalg 01.08.13 6:26pm
UK Wellbeing Index downgraded by Moody’s

In a shock announcement, the measure of the nation’s happiness, the Wellbeing Index, has been downgraded by the emotional ratings agency Moody’s from ‘OK’ to just ‘Don’t Ask’. ‘This...

Ludicity 01.08.13 5:23pm
Mugabe furious as bumbling aides mistakenly announce 2020 election results 2
sydalg 01.08.13 5:19pm
Lindy Moone
Criminals to need licenses

More to follow...

apepper 01.08.13 3:02pm
Patients Told To Dial .000,000,000,001 for Homeopathy Or 777 For A Witch-Doctor 7
Titus 01.08.13 2:54pm
Daily Mail deny that 'Randy Travis Has a Stroke' was a reference to DLT 1
medici2471 01.08.13 1:31pm
The MP, his appalling posture and a Podiatrist named in bad gait scandal 1
ronseal 01.08.13 1:14pm
UKIP Wins Zimbabwe Election. "Didn't See That Coming" Admits Mugabe 0
Titus 01.08.13 1:11pm
New plans for troubled Ambulance Service

Troubled East of England Ambulance Service which has been recently criticised by the government for failing response times is set to turn the tables by a newly planned merger. Bosses are reported to...

Steve_Essex 01.08.13 1:11pm
England v Australia - third test of bull****ting

The English and Australian cricket teams were today locked in a fierce battle to see who can talk the biggest amount of b*ll*cks. First up was Australian captain Michael Clarke, who said: 'I am...

John Wiltshire 01.08.13 11:48am
John Wiltshire
Dignitas launches new Hampstead branch, renamed "Ciao"

More unoriginal musings later...

Skylarking 01.08.13 11:35am
Heisenberg successfully appeals speeding fine

"You can prove how fast I was going, or where I was, but not both" he argues in his defence...

NewBiscuit 01.08.13 11:26am
Scientists say plans to clone mammoth "wooly" 1
CulchaVulcha 01.08.13 11:04am
New site launched for businesses to review customers 4
Dumbnews 01.08.13 10:46am
Brighton shock at £15 parking fee - "It's far too low"

Brighton council have promised immediate action at the revelation that they charge up to £15 to park in the town. "That's far too cheap.", explained a council spokesman. "People think the council is...

apepper 01.08.13 10:34am
Stafford hospital to become a branch of Dignitas

It was revealed today that Stafford hospital has been sold to Dignitas for an undisclosed sum (but not very much). A spokesman for Dignitas said: 'It's brilliant! We just put Dignitas stickers over...

John Wiltshire 01.08.13 10:21am
Mugabe predicts he will win by 247,681 votes

'Just a rough guess,' he says...

John Wiltshire 01.08.13 9:55am
John Wiltshire
Cat wonders why the Earth is round

"Are you a clever dick?" says pointless fat ugly nobody Anne Widdicombe in her usual irritating voice...

farmer giles 01.08.13 9:50am
farmer giles
Massive cock impregnates woman

An absolutely massive cock is reported to have made the wife of one of his best friends pregnant. The huge prick, who has yet to make a statement on whether or not the reports are true, had...

jamsieoconnor 01.08.13 9:18am
Fears of Ballot rigging as Nick Griffin comes second in Zimbabwian election 0
Scronnyglonkle 01.08.13 9:14am
Britons must be extra vigilant according to advice issued by Bloke In The Pub

British Citizens have been advised not to travel abroad this summer. If they do, they are advised to take a series of precautions, according to a new warning issued by intelligence expert The Bloke...

ronseal 01.08.13 9:08am
Rihanna to sue clothing store which accused her of wearing clothes. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 01.08.13 8:34am
Richard comparison website "doomed to failure"

"Well, it all started when I was sitting in a bar with my twin brother, Wayne", "Hello!", " yeah, my brother Wayne, and we were discussing which was the funniest Dick : Wayne claimed it was Emery",...

FlashArry 01.08.13 8:14am
Online spite is a free speech issue, says columnist in The Daily Trollergraph 0
ronseal 01.08.13 7:53am