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Windows tax repealed in the name of "greater transparency". 1
Nick McCarr 3 years
The Queen to create her own version of 'The King's Speech', by having a Stroke 0
thackaray 3 years
Bishop of Southwark and Keith Chegwin vie to be 'Britain's Charlie Sheen' 0
ronseal 3 years

A host of UK celebs have thrown their hats into the ring in a bid to become the British version of whatever's big news in America at the moment. The chance to become the British Charlie Sheen has...

All sighted people to be blinded in accordance with EU equality directive... 0
be reasonable 3 years

Gordon Brown eagerly anticipates return to leadership role...

New prostate test twice as good 0
Sinnick 3 years

.. because now they use 2 fingers...

Charlie Sheen to appear in Cheers remake. 1
Stan Laurel 3 years
EU rules that people must write with both hands 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

The EU Equalities Commissioner, Gerd van den Bonqueurs, today said that the EU had ruled that everyone must write with both hands., His statement read: 'Following a 5 year 3 billion euro...

Emblem for Queen's Diamond Jubilee (if she doesn't die before then) revealed - 2 36
Golgo13 3 years

A 10-year-old girl has won a competition to design the official emblem for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee to be held next year, providing Her Majesty doesn’t die this year. Katherine Dewar, from...

Galliano fury: 'I'm not racist - it's a Jewish conspiracy!' 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

A nasty racist who designs completely stupid things that only airhead cocaine addicts can wear was finally sacked after the company he worked for realised they couldn't make any more money out of him...

John Galliano joins Top Gear team 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

A delighted Jeremy Clarkson today announced that John Galliano will be joining the the Top Gear team in time for the new series., 'He is awesome,' admitted Clarkson. 'There's nowhere he won't go.'...

Local man unable to find "the one" after browsing all the online single profiles 0
Dumbnews 3 years
All-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise God needs your MONEY 0
Dumbnews 3 years

Trying to compress this funnny quote by George Carlin into one-line: "GOD HE LOVES YOU. He loves you, and He NEEDS MONEY! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and...

Virgin Mary unsuccessful on Match.com because not "Down to earth" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Obama Asks Senate, Congress, To Refrain From "Yo Momma" Remarks During Hearings 0
Textbook 3 years
Cameron secures 'No Fly Zone'... as Lossiemouth Tornadoes are grounded. 0
Jammydodgers 3 years

Gadafi sends 'Humanitarian aid' to Morayshire...

Concerned breastfeeding mothers demand home pasturisation kits. 2
Chip Paper 3 years

The seizure of breast milk icecream from a central London restaurant has caused panic among breastfeeding mothers across the Capital. As news spread that both the Health Protection Agency and the...

Hotmail updates signatures to say, "Sent from my hacked PC" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Gorilla Stood Up 0
3 years

Darwin's Theory of Evolution has gone on Fast Forward for 2011. News spread quickly through the Scientific Community which monitors all examples of 'evolution in progress'. The incident was...

Blair and Brown in Britpop Tribute Battle 0
Banking Escapee 3 years

Tony Blair has returned from a “disappointing” solo tour of the Middle East and announced plans to reform Britpop favourites, New Labour. However the iron lunged former lead vocalist will be the...

Covent Garden shop to sell semen-flavoured ice cream 14
Sinnick 3 years

Following the recent success of his human breast milk flavoured ice cream, Matt O'Connor's shop in Covent Garden has announced its intention to sell another novelty brand of ice cream flavoured with...

Zeitgeist Publishing launches Fashist, the hate couture magazine for racists 1
ronseal 3 years
Democratic Republic of Congo gets EU protected status for production of Um Bongo 10
Skylarking 3 years
International assassin reprimanded for playing football during lunch hour 0
antharrison 3 years
Minister for Well-Being Massages Figures. Also Statistics. 0
Ablative Fabsolute 3 years
F.A to charge wigans McCarthy 0
fuzzypopidenticals 3 years

The F.A has charged Wigan’s James McCarthy with dangerous play after being accused of head butting Wayne Rooney’s elbow in sataurdays premier league game at the DW stadium. A spokesman for the...

John Galliano to design UKIP Spring Collection 1
mortal_wombat 3 years

Armbands and jackboots expected to feature heavily...

Climate change backlash camp welcomes latest addition, Santa Claus 0
ronseal 3 years

Santa Claus has come off the fence and joined the climate change sceptics camp. 'Anyone who believes in climate change has got to be a facking simpleton,' he told reporters...

George at ASDA reprimanded after "I love Thatcher" recording is leaked 0
charlies_hat 3 years
John Galliano wins big uniform design contract for British Movement 0
ronseal 3 years

Last night a cock a hoop John Galliano was cracking open the champagne, after clinching the prestigious British Movement uniform account. 'This is the contract everyone in the fashion industry...

Angry Birds Shooting Inquest Begins 0
adambrod66 3 years

Limbless they may be, but armless they surely are not. Angry Birds' recent Suidae-based shooting spree in Cumbria shocked the nation and today an inquest begins into what caused the rampage., The...