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All supermarkets to to be fitted with CSI-style DNA labs 0
sydalg 27.02.13 2:19am
sydalg
"Well, just look at me! Do I look like some sweaty pervert?" says [insert name] 4
dvo4fun 27.02.13 1:46am
Psycadelic Squirrel
FDA Approves drug that helps you forget you have no sex life 0
Dumbnews 27.02.13 12:44am
Dumbnews
Ryan Air to sell petrol at 20p a litre* ** (BYOP)

[size=3]Michael O'Leary, Ryan Air Chief Executive announced today that the low budget airline is move into the petrol retailing business with the purchase of several thousand outlets from troubled...

3
shaggy 26.02.13 10:40pm
shaggy
Oscar Pistorius Trial Perfect Replacement For Law & Order

Fans, who had searched in vain for something to satisfy their crime lust after the New York Police and District Attorney fought their last case in 2010, now believe they have found a worthy successor...

0
Hooch 26.02.13 10:11pm
Hooch
Hope fades for the ‘forgotten man’ of comedy politics...

John O’Farrell continues to pound the streets, in full clown costume and the big shoes, hoping to raise a smile - or at least avoid being punched - at every house in Eastleigh. Campaigning in a...

2
Tripod 26.02.13 9:30pm
Squudge
Holy Trinity admits: we screwed up

Following several years of allegations and rumours in the Christian Times and Jewish Chronicle, God and his two assistants have finally admitted that they have got it wrong. This follows recent...

7
Sinnick 26.02.13 9:19pm
Squudge
'72 is the new 30' say people who have a birthday every 2.4 years 0
roybland 26.02.13 9:06pm
roybland
New food scandal - Rennard found in lady Liberal Democrat activists

Traces of Rennard have been found in several lady Liberal Democrat activists it was revealed today., General Manager Nick Clegg said that the discovery had played havoc with the party's Eastleigh...

0
geokay 26.02.13 8:57pm
geokay
Pippa Middleton signs to Waitrose, home delivery get a little behind with orders 0
Ian Searle 26.02.13 8:57pm
Ian Searle
Politician grateful to be mistaken for comedian

Tory bi-election candidate Maria Hutchings has credited comedians like John O'Farrell and Beppe Grillo for the confusion in voters' minds as to who is running for election and who is doing a standup...

2
sydalg 26.02.13 8:51pm
dvo4fun
Lib Dems "we were just groping about in the dark for policy ideas"

Hat tip Dick Everyman...

1
sillybugger 26.02.13 8:49pm
dvo4fun
Sir Ranulph Fiennes pulls out of Antarctic trek due to “public apathy”...

Sir Ranulph Fiennes - ‘Ran’ to his friends - has pulled out of his latest yawn-inducing adventure due to the fact that the public really couldn’t give a flying fuck whether he reaches the South...

8
Tripod 26.02.13 8:48pm
dvo4fun
Frostbite claims final piece of Sir Ranulph Fiennes

The last piece of Sir Ranulph Fiennes has fallen off due to extreme frostbite. The 68 year old Victorian throwback had been attempting to cross the frozen aisle in Aldi when his last remaining...

8
wallster 26.02.13 8:35pm
Yikes
Self-cleaning glass ceiling leaves bosses speechless

A new self-cleaning glass ceiling has left male corporate bosses in a major London business nonplussed 'When I've complained that there's a glass ceiling blocking my advancement in the company,'...

1
roybland 26.02.13 8:14pm
Yikes
Briscoe Arrested - Confused Pryce Jury Ask: "Er, Which Woman Are We Trying?" 0
Titus 26.02.13 7:15pm
Titus
Woman Lib Dem Condidiate Sues For Discrimiation After She Is Not Groped. 0
Titus 26.02.13 7:06pm
Titus
Indirect, non-specific sheep turns out to be horse - Clegg complicit 6
Squudge 26.02.13 4:59pm
sydalg
Italian election result inspires launch of ‘Fuck Off Huhne Day’

Following his fellow comic Beppe Grillo’s success in the Italian election, polling day for the Eastleigh by-election has been labelled by the Labour candidate, satirist John O’Farrell, as ‘Fuck...

1
Midfield Diamond 26.02.13 4:28pm
Slante Dangle
Chief Investigator Botha "Mis-sold PPI"

The prosecution of Oscar Pistorius over the death of Reeva Steenkamp took another dramatic turn on Thursday after the chief investigator, Hilton Botha, was again recalled to the court following the...

1
26.02.13 2:29pm
shaggy
Cardinal resigns to pursue career as radio 1 DJ

More details have emerged about Cardinal Keith O'Brien resignation. Plans have been announced for Mr O'Brien to host a revived Top of the Pops and a weekend show on Radio 1...

1
apepper 26.02.13 2:01pm
steve_l
Farting in front of the vicar is inappropriate but....

shoving your finger up the Bishop of Durham's crack is pricless...

1
shaggy 26.02.13 1:48pm
Lens Cap
Meat Product's Found to contain 8% Superfluous Apostrophes 1
Titus 26.02.13 1:25pm
Actual Size
Choirboys may contain traces of primate DNA 0
Actual Size 26.02.13 1:18pm
Actual Size
Arsenal can still cure cancer says Wenger 1
topfotogmw 26.02.13 12:17pm
Midfield Diamond
Appropriateness workshop marred by bum-fondling outbreak

They were hailed as a human resources revolution. After a tidal wave of inappropriateness, appropriateness workshops round the country could hardly cope with the huge numbers of catholic clergy,...

5
nickb 26.02.13 12:11pm
Midfield Diamond
Still hope for O’Farrell as comedians sway Italian voters... 2
Tripod 26.02.13 12:06pm
Midfield Diamond
Liberals failing the untouchability test must go

Touching amongst same gender colleagues is deemed appropriate but touching bodyparts of the opposite sex or to complain about it is a clear sign of lack of liberal attitude. After all, if Clegg had...

0
4ty2 26.02.13 11:42am
4ty2
Bit Missing From Ikea Meatballs - Reins And Saddle Still Present 1
Titus 26.02.13 11:13am
4ty2
Farmworker meat found in shepherd's pie 0
Actual Size 26.02.13 10:53am
Actual Size