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Sacked Bishop who had consensual sex with adult woman 'a pervert' says Pope 6
pinxit 3 years
British bankers the musical 0
kevingower 3 years

British bankers debut Canary Wharf musical “Fiddler on the roof” Bob Diamond rendition of “If I was a rich man” had audiences aghast...

Guide to Olympics 2: caring for your genetically engineered mascot 3
3 years

With our lab-created, self-aware Olympic mascots now hatching from our breeder tank in Chelsea, this Q&A will help you get the most from Britain’s newest and most nationalistic of all the...

Cameron Congratulates both Newcastle upon Tyne & Gateshead Councils 0
Timerman 3 years

Prime Minister David Cameron Congratulated both Newcastle upon Tyne & Gateshead Council's today for the rapid handling of yesterdays heavy floods which saw most of the North East grind to a halt....

In new porn version of Captain Scarlet he meets Lieutenant 50 Shades of Grey 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Notorious criminal boss elects ‘not to accept bonus this year’ 4
Long Distance Clara 3 years

The overlord of an organised criminal gang yesterday announced that due to poor corporate performance and discovery of some questionable business practices, he will be foregoing his annual bonus this...

Euro 2012 is going entirely as was predicted - says Bloke in Pub 1
ronseal 3 years

The Man In the Pub with the Chelsea shirt on has correctly predicted every stage of Euro 2012 - now pundits are eagerly anticipating Monday, when they will find out what he predicted for Sunday's...

Hansen still unprepared to write-off the Germans 2
grumblechops 3 years
Wormwood Scrubs prepares executive cell as Bob Diamond says "I Won't Resign" 0
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Italy now offically bankrupt as Merkle asks for money back 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
Torrential rain & flooding, Geordies refuse to wear coats or sensible shoes. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
News International to split into Light and Dark Side of the Force. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Shock as banks are caught doing what they're best at doing 1
roybland 3 years

Millions of bank customers are today coming to terms with the shock revelation that banks have been doing what they are best at doing. The manipulation of a key bank interest rate by Barclays and...

North of Britain puts faith in mystical “fire orb” in sky to combat the flood 0
confuzzled 3 years

With the north of Britain gripped in floods the inhabitants has put faith in the “fire orb”. Apparently there is a “sphere of fire” that rest in sky, but British scientist have found little...

Governor of Pentonville Slates Escape For "Lacking Any Real Creative Flair" 2
Duff 3 years

A prisoner serving a life sentence who escaped from Pentonville Prison earlier today has been slammed as being "unimaginative and passé" by the jail's Governor in a scathing attack this afternoon....

Rupert Murdoch Quits Newspaper Game to Concentrate on Apocalypse 0
Hooch 3 years

In the wake of the phone hacking scandal Rupert Murdoch is said to have grown tired of existence and is planning an earth shattering announcement; that he plans on shattering the earth. ‘The UK...

Pentonville escapee last seen climbing wall into Ecuadorian embassy 0
grumblechops 3 years
Question Time's first streaker goes down well 1
grumblechops 3 years

David Dimbleby admitted he was left "somewhat hot under the collar" after a female streaker invaded the set of Question Time, cutting short a hate-filled rant from some tosspot from The Mail. The...

Barclays Bankers Found Guilty Of Knocking Out Another One 1
Duff 3 years

Bob Diamond (Geezer) is tonight under extreme pressure to step down from his position as Barclays Chief Executive, following the financial giant having been found guilty of yet another...

Beckham's hope of normal haircut dashed 0
nickb 3 years
Google launches ‘built-up shoe’ 0
Nunnion Splendacular 3 years

Google has caught it rivals well and truly on the back foot, as it announced plans for a clonky, built-up shoe. The 7” high unit is based on an Android ‘platform’, and can look a little...

Cameron says Banks have a big question to answer "Are we still OK for donation?" 2
dvo4fun 3 years
Beleaguered economy caused by an imbalance of humours, say Greeks, Romans. 0
simonhansen 3 years
"Lots of lolly" pop ladies as the job changes to commission only 0
The Masked Frog 3 years

Lollipop ladies (and men) are to see their role changed to commission only with unlimited earnings potential in the wake of a report that shows a truly shocking turnover of virtually nil for the...

BSkyB sent to bedroom as News Corp. discuss's who gets the Lexus. 1
simonhansen 3 years
News Corp break up: James Murdoch to visit Cameron "on alternate weekends only" 0
simonhansen 3 years
R.A.F budget hit by 82,000 fixed penalty fines for littering. 0
JETFAB 3 years
Healed With A Hand Shandy 1
Simon Balch 3 years

The Queen made an historic act of forgiveness yesterday by giving former IRA leader Martin McGuinness a hand shandy. The momentous encounter – which would have been unthinkable ten years ago –...

New Muse single "a bit over the top for me" says Louis XIV of France 0
@spinal_bap 3 years

Louis XIV of France has criticised the new single by prog-pop group Muse, calling the track “a bit over the top for my tastes”. Wearing a bejewelled crown, a bejewelled necklace, and brandishing...

Old couple describe their life as a daily reenacment of "Back to the Future" 0
Dumbnews 3 years