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'I wish it wasn't Christmas every day,' admits Wizzard

Roy Wood, lead singer of the 1970s glam rock band Wizzard, has apologised for his role in ensuring that is now Christmas every day. Forty years since Wizzard hit Number Two in the charts with 'I Wish...

6
Oxbridge 18.12.13 8:55pm
Lindy Moone
Police seek showbiz assassin as Mandela & Biggs both die on day biopic came out.

Re-written headline, with a hat tip to a couple of others who thought along similar lines...

0
MADJEZ 18.12.13 8:39pm
MADJEZ
Police seek killer publicist as Mandela & Biggs both on die day films came out.

More great publicity soon...

1
MADJEZ 18.12.13 8:32pm
MADJEZ
Great Train Robber "may have faked death" to publicise new BBC DramaDoc

Breaking news: Police are investigating claims that Great Train Robber Ronnie Biggs may in fact still be alive and kicking and flicking his customary V sign after reports circulated of his death less...

2
clarksn 18.12.13 7:43pm
ESJ
BBC cancel drama airing out of respect for Ronnie Biggs life. 0
Ref Minor 18.12.13 7:24pm
Ref Minor
Cameron furious over prisoners voting for Sam Bailey in X Factor final

David Cameron vows to "clip Sam Bailey's wings" after discovering that her victory in Saturday's X Factor final relied on the votes of inmates at Gartree Prison, Leicester. Bailey stands by the...

2
D 18.12.13 6:25pm
D
About That Ronnie Biggs Knighthood

Rumours of a Ronnie Biggs Knighthood are gathering pace tonight following the death of the 84-year-old Great Train Robber, this morning. The infamous celebrity criminal, who absconded a 30 year...

2
Max Farquar 18.12.13 6:23pm
Max Farquar
Operation Yewtree arrests hundreds of men not bothered to shave after Movember 1
D 18.12.13 5:53pm
Wrenfoe
Spurs fans begin moaning about having one less thing to moan about

Masochistic Tottenham Hotspur fans, who derived their customary perverted pleasure at receiving a damn good thrashing, are reeling at the news that manager Andre Villas-Boas has been sacked. ...

2
Midfield Diamond 18.12.13 5:26pm
Midfield Diamond
X Factor winner set to take centre stage

Just hours after being crowned champion of X Factor 2013 winner Sam Bailey has landed her first starring role says her agent., Sam beat of contenders from Emmerdale and Real Housewives to land the...

5
Gerontius 18.12.13 5:23pm
Oxbridge
Shelf stacking at highest level ever

Shelf stacking, using a supermarket pricing gun and mopping up baby wee are at their highest levels since records began say the Office For National Statistics., The number of people forced into mind...

0
Gerontius 18.12.13 3:55pm
Gerontius
Beyoncé succeeds in stealing Christmas 0
D 18.12.13 3:48pm
D
Geoffrey Boycott’s mother gets surprise call-up for Ashes test... 2
Tripod 18.12.13 3:15pm
james_doc
South Staffs College removes Savile portrait and hands curatorship to Daily Mail

South Staffordshire College has confirmed today that artistic control of the Art & Design course is to be taken over by the editor of the Daily Mail. The removal from a Lichfield campus...

2
medici2471 18.12.13 2:18pm
medici2471
Now even people without a bank account can pay with plastic 0
NewBiscuit 18.12.13 1:53pm
NewBiscuit
Robin Hood Youth Orchestra not so merry after noise complaints 0
davetwojackets 18.12.13 1:39pm
davetwojackets
A 'Great' Train robber wouldn't have got caught claims villain. 0
MADJEZ 18.12.13 1:39pm
MADJEZ
Chinese man right handed but wrong footed

Nothing more to attach...

0
davetwojackets 18.12.13 1:37pm
davetwojackets
Bus driver welcomes the New Year early with a punch and a punch and a punch...

You get the picture...

0
davetwojackets 18.12.13 1:34pm
davetwojackets
Duncan Smith To Host Primetime TV Quiz Show

In an initiative to make its strict new rules for immigrants to the UK more palatable to the British public, the Department for Work and Pensions are to introduce a TV quiz show into the popular...

11
pinxit 18.12.13 1:26pm
Ian Collier
Jennifer Lawrence wants Ringo Starr behind bars

The slender star of the, ironically titled, Hunger Games has called for the ex-drummer come voice-over artist to be arrested. Mr. Richard Starkey is accused of wilfully abusing Thomas the Tank...

0
Wrenfoe 18.12.13 1:09pm
Wrenfoe
George Osborne’s letter to Santa leaked to the press.

A copy of George Osborne’s letter to Santa was leaked to the media today. Top of the list the chancellor is asking for was ‘a growth rate of over 3%’, closely followed by ‘a nasty accident...

0
therustler 18.12.13 12:44pm
therustler
Plastic Bank Notes On The Way….

….Stand by for back pocket cracking?...

0
Jesse Bigg 18.12.13 11:43am
Jesse Bigg
Cameron Playing Junket God?….

….Or just going here, there, every where, to avoid work?...

2
Jesse Bigg 18.12.13 11:29am
Jesse Bigg
Leicestershire prison to find Sam Bailey replacement, X-Factor-style

In their pursuit to fill the vacancy left by Sunday's X-Factor winner, Sam Bailey, HMP Gartree in Leicestershire has announced plans to scrap its traditional hiring polices and instead host the UK's...

2
Jesus H 18.12.13 11:16am
Robopop
The Ronnie Biggs we will never forget...

Fact and fiction are intertwined in the long life of Ronnie Biggs. “Fifty years after the Great Train Robbery”, said a police spokesman today, “it’s hard to differentiate between the man and...

2
Tripod 18.12.13 11:13am
Robopop
Tories Behind The Great In-Train Robbery...

…NHS cuts, education cuts, low paid jobs, more scrimping and scraping; and - "Hey, let's forget about 'Up North'...

0
Jesse Bigg 18.12.13 11:05am
Jesse Bigg
Royal Conspiracy Ruled out in Dumpty Case

The tragic death of beloved national wall-sitter H.Dumpty was "not a conspiracy" ruled the Pipersson Inquiry today, in a summary of its findings later to be released in a four line verse at a cost to...

2
blokefromstoke 18.12.13 11:04am
Robopop
Homeopathic remedy for dementia has 'no memory of recent events'. 0
FOAD 18.12.13 10:59am
FOAD
Nigella hoping for snow on Christmas Day 0
Sinnick 18.12.13 10:58am
Sinnick