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Protester Complains She Was Seduced My Man 'Posing As Undercover Policeman'.

"I would never have let him get me pregnant if I had realised that he was just another tedious protester, with no job, no home and no prospects" said the woman. "He convinced me that, as a police...

4
Titus 18.10.13 2:31pm
Ref Minor
Tomb of the Unknown Soldier to be renamed after successful DNA test. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 18.10.13 2:03pm
Titus
Man loses magnifying glass - details still a bit hazy 2
Smart Alex 18.10.13 1:58pm
jimmydodger
"Hunt For Lonely People" Slogan Misleading Claims MP 5
Flugelbinder 18.10.13 1:45pm
Flugelbinder
Paul McCartney Covent Garden gig "not part of traffic congestion solution" 1
Ref Minor 18.10.13 1:41pm
Wrenfoe
Thousands Of Decorating Contracts Delayed As Firemen Call Off Strike 0
Titus 18.10.13 1:14pm
Titus
Parent Accused of Racism After Calling Son a 'Cheeky Monkey'

Mrs Deborah Falden, 32 of Northants, has been accused of racism after calling her 7 year son Peter a 'Cheeky Monkey'. Mr Bill Harrow, headteacher of the primary school that Peter attends said "Mrs...

0
Flugelbinder 18.10.13 1:12pm
Flugelbinder
Coalition to introduce a 20 month Price Freeze On Sweaters, Jumpers and Cardigan

No 10 has today announced dramatic measures to help keep the country warm without impacting fuel bills. In a counter offensive against the energy suppliers and in response to recent price increases...

1
Deimos 18.10.13 1:09pm
Titus
Govt advises pensioners on winter survival

“What’s the problem with all these moaning pensioners?” says Joe Propaganda “I’d be like a pig in shit if it was me! Look, everybody knows most pensioners are past their use-by date and...

0
farmer giles 18.10.13 12:08pm
farmer giles
Hodgson Given List of Innocuous Words To Avoid

Following the non-event published in every paper, and leapt upon by every anti-racism group, the non offence caused by Hodgson to anybody has lead to the England Manager being coached on how he...

0
Flugelbinder 18.10.13 11:17am
Flugelbinder
Literate ecstacy user suffers withdrawals after e book confiscated in drugs raid 0
irreverendJ 18.10.13 10:59am
irreverendJ
'I just hate old people', admits Ian Peters, British Gas MD

The Managing Director of British Gas, Ian Peters, has today confirmed plans to 'remove' a record number of adorable grandparents in the lead-up to Christmas, in a desperate bid to rid his home town...

7
Jesus H 18.10.13 10:53am
Jesus H
'I can cure your loneliness' by Paul McKenna

Following my good friend Jeremy Hunt’s statements today that chronic loneliness is our “national shame”, I felt morally obligated to give my new book a nice plug. It deviates from my normal...

0
TobiasBV 18.10.13 10:43am
TobiasBV
Penguin Classics Accidentally Publish Autobiography Of The Smurfs

"We only realised our mistake when we finished reading it, and found that it was not full of outrage, self-justifications and angry recriminations" said a spokesman for the publishers. "I suppose we...

2
Titus 18.10.13 10:39am
Flugelbinder
Rock Bands not as good as elastic ones claims office worker 2
Flugelbinder 18.10.13 10:36am
Flugelbinder
Nike ‘Fuelband’ to track British Gas profits

Health fanatics and hypothermia sufferers were celebrating the launch of a new activity-tracking wristband, which guarantees to monitor fitness goals, frostbite and the gluttonous proceeds of energy...

0
Wrenfoe 18.10.13 10:09am
Wrenfoe
Outrage as Austrian man claims he has normal relationship with all his relatives

Hans Bloch, a middle aged Austrian man, has found himself the centre of feverish media debate this week after admitting he had an “entirely healthy” relationship with his family. Bloch appeared...

5
TobiasBV 18.10.13 9:44am
TobiasBV
Biography of Smith’s Crisp a surprise hit

A long awaited angst filled biography of the classic English crisp, “The Smith’s” is tipped to be a best-seller in this year’s Xmas book trade. It tells the tale of a humble snack which...

0
nickb 18.10.13 9:15am
nickb
On this website illegally? Go home or face arrest

106 arrests in your office last week*...

2
tedweasel 18.10.13 7:51am
Titus
Wives deny millions of husbands in the UK have been forced into slavery. 0
Ian Searle 18.10.13 6:27am
Ian Searle
"I don't believe it!" pensioner denies TV is their only company

Victor Meldrew, aged 68, added “My Arse! How very dare you. I didn't get where I am today watching telly. I have loads-a friends. There’s Ross, and Rachael, Joey, Chandler Phoebe and Monica....

0
Ian Searle 18.10.13 6:26am
Ian Searle
Man that had sex change to avoid man-flu, catches bird flu. 7
Trumpet 17.10.13 10:12pm
Titus
Hodgson 'Sorry' for putting milk in coffee.

Roy Hodgson was today slammed for the racist way in which he drinks his coffee. [quote] I suppose putting milk in my coffee is a generational thing and I had no intention of offending anybody[/quote]...

0
julio bango 17.10.13 9:48pm
julio bango
Hunt blames the public for failing to cull the elderly 0
Squudge 17.10.13 9:36pm
Squudge
Global search for Michael Gove as first Free School fails 1
custard cream 17.10.13 7:49pm
Wrenfoe
Makers of Camp Coffee accused of heterophobia 0
custard cream 17.10.13 7:46pm
custard cream
Art world heralds X factor ‘Brilliant post-modern self-satire’

Critics in the art world this week have heralded Simon Cowell a ‘visionary’ and claimed his long running series ‘The X factor’ is amongst the most inspired and daring pieces of art in the...

0
TobiasBV 17.10.13 6:15pm
TobiasBV
No 10: China ‘will not be permitted to invest in UK military defence programme’

“There will be no chinks in our armour” assured a spokesperson, who was immediately attacked on Twitter for being politically incorrect by Roy ‘feed the monkey’ Hodgson, Luis Suarez and Ron...

0
farmer giles 17.10.13 6:00pm
farmer giles
Independent think tank calls for re-nationalisation of British government 0
TerribleTim 17.10.13 4:59pm
TerribleTim
Hodgson labelled racist and sexist by tabloid crossword correspondent

Roy Hodgson was today embroiled in further controversy following off-guard comments that have incensed apologists for race and gender equality groups. When asked to comment on England’s 2-0 win...

0
TerribleTim 17.10.13 4:49pm
TerribleTim