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Make-A-Wish Deny Child's "Cure Me," Request 1
Hooch 3 years
Health chiefs “close to a decision” on this summer’s epidemic 12
grumblechops 3 years

Health Secretary Andrew Lansley laughed off claims that the government was shockingly unprepared to cause the necessary levels of panic this summer, hinting that advisers were close to deciding which...

Gadaffi issues rallying cry from beyond the grave 0
yens123 3 years

Gadaffi issues rallying cry from beyond the grave Reports have confirmed that Colonel Gadaffi has issued a statement to his followers through the man who was formally child star Haley Joel Osment. ...

Banksy on Arts funding cuts: 'The writing is on the wall for street artists' 2
dvo4fun 3 years

more later. I do apologise. Hat, coat...

North Korean Rocket Scientists reassigned to brain surgery 0
wwwiz 3 years

"Obviously, you're no rocket scientists," Kim Jong-un declares...

LGBT community to begin ironic bus-based anti-religious campaign 0
kga6 3 years

Finally, after years of abuse and homophobic vilification, the gay community has announced it now has greater numbers than hardcore Christians in the UK, and plans to begin an ironic retaliation...

Ken Jong-Il Cries at Praise from Workers for Glorious Leader of The People 1
ronseal 3 years
Banksy Moon peace graffiti fails to stop Afghanistan bloodshed 1
nickb 3 years
War widow convinced ‘time now right’ to rejoin Doncaster swinging scene 11
Gary Stanton 3 years

War Widow, Penny Swinton, whose husband Mark died tragically in the Afghan conflict, feels her decision to to recommence the hi-octane swinging lifestyle the couple once enjoyed together would have...

Chelsea FC: limit on charity donations from the wealthy would kill the club 0
steve_l 3 years

Chelsea FC joined the clamour of charities claiming that the upper limit on tax relief for donations would kill the club completely. A spokesman said "for a number of years, Chelsea FC has depended...

Bono launches charity for men who ‘can’t urinate while someone is next to them' 18
3 years

Pop philanthropist Bono has finally found a new cause to back, with no room for people to accuse him of hypocrisy. Drawing on his own reluctance to tinkle the ivory when there’s anyone within...

Mechanics happy to be 'Travel Lodge recommended' 2
Perks 3 years

Following years of being ranked by mechanics from The AA and RAC, Hotel group Travel Lodge have decided to start ranking Motor Garages. A maximum of 5 stars can be achieved as mechanics are judged on...

Robin Gibb 'Stayin alive' say his doctors. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Mother in law Gets holiday Gift 0
GillsImp 3 years

Getting my mother-in-law to accept a free foreign holiday was easy. The hard part was convincing her Dignitas was Swiss for spa...

Two candidates put down in race to become Mayor of London 0
kga6 3 years

Two well known politicians have died after falling at a major hurdle in the race to become Mayor of London. Conservative Skye Terrier Boris Johnson, and balding Labour bulldog, Ken Livingstone, were...

Cameron sends letter to Jesse from B.U.R.M.A. 1
yussle 3 years
Painter declares Love for Girlfriend 0
GillsImp 3 years

He was heard to Say "I love you with all my art"...

Bee Keeper in France Banned from wearing a Veil 0
GillsImp 3 years
Your handy guide to the horses that might get shot at this year's Grand National 20
3 years

With the countdown underway to Sunday's Grand National, our pundit considers the form for Britain's favourite waste of horses. Heardthekneepopinbootle: 12-1. Much fancied last year, has let herself...

Missing Grand National winner found in centre of Liverpool on bricks 0
Perks 3 years
PM tells Aung San Suu Kyi “I’m a poet and I know it” as he shares rummy limerick 2
Yikes 3 years

Embarrassed aides were temporarily lost for words when British PM David Cameron launched into a rendition of “There was a young lady from Rangoon” during his historic meeting with Burmese...

Robin Gibb's temperature "Expected to peek on evening of 14th Apr" 1
beau-jolly 3 years
Peter Andre Uses Urinal Without Camera Crew Present 0
deluca 3 years

Publicity-shy Pop superstar, Peter Andre shocked his camera crew yesterday with an un-filmed visit to a public toilet in Camden, whilst on walkabout looking for some adoring fans to feature on his TV...

Man discovers he is spambot after repeated failiure to fill out Captcha form 11
Skylarking 3 years

A probation officer from Surrey has accidentally stumbled upon his true identity as a ‘spambot’ – built to randomly email strangers with barely legible special offers and enticing opportunities...

North Korea hails successful submarine launch 4
Yikes 3 years

or "North Korean vegetarians applaud successful rocket lunch"...

Panic measures agreed: blind, dire, sheer, mild, and totally unnecessary 0
weematt 3 years
Media frenzy as Brad shows Ange his ring 0
Yikes 3 years
Dominic Littlewood called in after Christian group repeatedly fails to fix gays. 0
Lemon difficult 3 years
Chocolate bar shortage fear as dyslexics Picnic buy 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Britain applies for Panic Buying to become new event at the Olympics 0
Ian Searle 3 years