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Rebels fail to get past DR Congo's receptionist 1
charlies_hat 19.11.12 2:32am
Dumbnews
Church of England to vote on women Father Christmases

The Church of England is to meet in London this week to vote on whether to allow women to become Father Christmases. A majority of church members support the measure, arguing that women have more...

0
roybland 19.11.12 2:25am
roybland
Tory peer renamed "Lord McAlpine-Allegedly" in effort to avoid future lawsuits 0
Nowherefast 19.11.12 12:28am
Nowherefast
Palestine : Israel renames places after British footballers precursor to bombing

Palestine feel that Trevorbrooking, JohnBarnes and GaryLinekar are all likely targets within the next 24 hours for Israeli rocket attacks. More soon...

0
simonjmr 18.11.12 8:43pm
simonjmr
Iain Duncan Smith mentions 'hard-working families' for millionth time

Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith has referred to 'hard working families' for what is believed to be a record millionth time. Tory cliche watcher and counter Professor John Banks of...

2
roybland 18.11.12 8:06pm
Squudge
German WWII veteran emerges from Isle of Wight forest

A German WWII veteran emerged from Parkhurst Forest on the Isle of Wight after remaining hidden since 1945. Private Wilfried Kapteina was eventually discovered after taking bird watchers, Brian and...

8
Dick Everyman 18.11.12 7:15pm
Yikes
Former Radio 1 DJ Jenson charged with 'Kid' offences.

70s & 80s radio and TV host David Jenson has been arrested and charged by police in connection to offences relating to kids. Files show he was born in 1950 and therefore in his mid-twenties when...

2
MADJEZ 18.11.12 6:53pm
MADJEZ
Rover Curiosity finds man’s denture on Mars

NASA has given details of an extraordinary discovery made by its Mars Rover Curiosity when sifting through a bucket of sand it had scooped up for analysis. ‘It spotted an unidentified object made...

0
malgor 18.11.12 3:13pm
malgor
Nursing home resident concedes "it wasn't all fields round here". More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 18.11.12 1:55pm
dominic_mcg
Scandal a Freddy Mercury exposed as "not a child molester"

Another scandal tore through 1970s pop history as it came out that the late Freddy Mercury didn't molest any under-age children at the BBC. A former Radio 1 DJ made this claim: "Whenever DLT and...

4
steve_l 18.11.12 12:38pm
arthurminnit
Scientists breed non-shitting dog

Canine geneticists have engineered a breed of dog that doesn't shit, 'do a poo' or even have to 'go to the bathroom'. 'It's what we have been trying to achieve for years -ever since the day I trod...

0
roybland 18.11.12 12:35pm
roybland
Gimme Sheltered Accomodation tipped as Xmas number 1. 0
CulchaVulcha 18.11.12 12:31pm
CulchaVulcha
Man guilty of self-abuse

A CPS spokeswoman described the case as ‘a self-fulfilling paradox waiting to happen’. ‘The man not only had to re-live the abuse he suffered at his own hand in the 1970s, he must now also...

7
malgor 18.11.12 11:39am
Squudge
‘Slightly humane’ accreditation offers salve to carnivores’ conscience...

Sally White, from the Food Standards Agency, explained the new animal welfare proposals. “Consumers don’t want animals to be harmed unnecessarily, but in times of recession they don’t want to...

0
Tripod 18.11.12 11:29am
Tripod
Men trapped in Sixties time-warp to be exhibited at The O2

Four men trapped in a Sixties time-warp are to appear next week at London's The O2. 'The men became frozen in time around 1962,' explained psychiatrist Dr Joseph Sacks,' and every few years feel the...

1
roybland 17.11.12 11:56pm
Squudge
Chinese Lib Dems aiming for a full hour maternity leave for paddy field workers. 6
Lucy4 17.11.12 11:40pm
Squudge
Co-op Food and Co-Op Funeral Services combine to form Co-op Fooderial Services

Manchester-based Co-operative Group has announced a radical restructure to bring together the activities of its food and funeral divisions into its new Fooderial Services division. 'We know that the...

1
antharrison 17.11.12 11:30pm
Squudge
New Spice Girl revealed - Meningitis B 0
custard cream 17.11.12 10:26pm
custard cream
UN calls for calm before there Isreali Hamassacre 0
Dick Everyman 17.11.12 10:23pm
Dick Everyman
New Archbishop made Governor of Bank of England to serve God and Mammon 1
custard cream 17.11.12 7:53pm
custard cream
Children in Need ends with a record breaking 28,467,276 uses of the word 'Guys' 3
Perks 17.11.12 3:12pm
sigmund
Lib Dems call for elected milkmen 4
nickb 17.11.12 3:09pm
sigmund
Dyslexic sandwich lovers disappointed when they got their mouths round a DLT 2
Perks 17.11.12 2:21pm
Squudge
UK Defence Chiefs caught in the cross-fire as top US General forced to pull out

In the light of recent revelations concerning General Patraeus, senior members of UK Armed Forces have admitted that they have also been caught with their pants down, frequently having to make a...

8
Squudge 17.11.12 2:17pm
Squudge
Don't allow Premier League to become a political football say fans 0
custard cream 17.11.12 1:45pm
custard cream
Latest BBC Scandal - 'The Hour' found to be just 56 minutes 1
custard cream 17.11.12 1:41pm
custard cream
Product recall for Astute submarine: patio and decking “clearly a mistake”... 3
Tripod 17.11.12 1:34pm
custard cream
Tension entirely bareable in Police and Crime Commissioner Elections 2
custard cream 17.11.12 1:21pm
Squudge
Cameron curbs children’s access to internet porn to free up bandwidth for adults

A frustrated David Cameron has announced tough new controls to prevent children accessing internet porn, saying that without the bandwidth-saving measures, men could be forced to play Sudoku or go to...

2
Yikes 17.11.12 1:15pm
Squudge
Man ‘sat on’ by Cyril Smith finally gets his breath back... 0
Tripod 17.11.12 12:00pm
Tripod