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Drugs tests for Olympic fans planned 0
nickb 3 years

"Spectator-enhancing drugs" will be the subject of random searches at all Olympic venues, organisers confirmed tonight. "It's simply not fair on the vast majority of fans who don't use drugs and...

Air France crash ‘dead people at fault’ investigation finds 0
newbietryer 3 years
John Lydon keeps his language clean but promotes butter on Question Time 1
simonjmr 3 years

Alternatively, John Lydon calls Louise Mensch " a dirty f@@cking f@@cker" on question time to celebrate 35 years since Bill Grundy appeareance More soon...

Harry Redknapp favourite to replace Rangers in SPL 0
seymour totti 3 years
BBC Sports journo's shame after pronouncing difficult foreign name perfectly. 0
Drylaw 3 years
Middleton Entourage Commandeer Cliff Richard's Wimbledon Seats 1
3 years

Friends of tennis fan, Cliff Richard, revealed the star was in tears last night after desperate Wimbledon officials were forced to hijack his traditional VIP box seats. Sir Cliff, has lost his...

South Korea unveils 'philosophical' whaling proposal 0
simonjmr 3 years

South Korea has today put forward the case for further whaling based upon philosophical arguments, principally Schroedingers thought experiments. South Korea have argued that only by continued...

Makers of SPAM concede email advertising is "destined to fail" 3
grumblechops 3 years
MoD's to reduce personnel "So they can all fit on one French Aircraft Carrier" 0
dvo4fun 3 years
Bob Diamond's Interview Transcript 1
journalismredefined 3 years

Bob Diamond has already re-applied for his old job at Barclays plc. Shortly after pre-screening, he was granted a first-round interview with HR. Our sources were fortunate enough to be given...

Police accused of overreaction to smoking on a bus 0
medici2471 3 years
New report says consultants Must State the Bleeding Obvious. 0
ronseal 3 years

Analysts, gurus and management consultants have been urged to state the bleeding obvious more often. Ideally they should they something blindingly basic, restate it a slightly different way that...

Spain's David Ferrer downgraded to Valencian 0
grumblechops 3 years

See what I've done there?...

Police begin crackdown on Pot Noodle use with M6 Coach sting 0
Screenie 3 years
German author has misfortune-lit smash hit with 50 Schadens of Freude 0
ronseal 3 years

Like any Hannover housewife, Heike Muller liked to amuse her friends with stories about the misfortunes of others. They became so popular she began to jot them down for her friends and family. Pretty...

Diamond tips 1
simonjmr 3 years

Don't get caught, Don't eat yellow snow, Never admit responsibility, Cavendish to win stage 4 of 2012 Tour de France, Decoy to win the 4.40 at Kempton More tips soon...

Diamond : Should have known better..... 3
MADJEZ 3 years

Baddum tsch. obscure musical pun for the older readers...

UK suffering from exceptional bad weather vows Cameron 0
Timerman 3 years

David Cameron has made an official statement denying that the UK is actually sinking fast under the Cameron government, he states that the huge amount of rain that has fallen over the past weeks is...

Olympic torch fans like moths to a flame 0
button 3 years
Olympic grimacing world rocked by cheating allegations. 4
nickb 3 years

The were  long faces at the Olympic  Grimacing Association  HQ as reports emerged of athletes in the sport  getting "special training" from drama schools and acting coaches. "The events should...

Trident to be used to deter unofficial use of Olympic logos 5
woodymellor 3 years

South Luffenham public library has been threatened with thermonuclear extinction if it does not remove it's book display on 'The Olympics' by Thursday tea time. Trident, initially designed to be...

John Major launches autobiography, One Shade of Grey 2
V Riddoch 3 years
Daily Mail asks: Is Higgs Boson hidden cause of obesity? 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Daily Mail calls for 150 Thousand 'overstayers' to be sent back to Migrantia 1
dvo4fun 3 years
"Don't call me a hero" says man who wrestled rhea 2
grumblechops 3 years

A man who helped recapture an escaped rhea in a village outside Ipswich has admitted he had no idea it was an escaped pet at the time, admitting he "just fancied having a go at something that big."...

Stay of Execution for Murray's Return to "Scottish" 2
The All New Jeni B 3 years

No doubt not for long...

British Olympic Team officials target 48 OBEs 3
3 years
Dr Who and The Who to be in Who's Who?. 0
nickb 3 years
John Entwistle named next BBC Director General 1
@spinal_bap 3 years

John Entwistle will be the next Director General of the BBC, it has been announced. Described as “a safe pair of hands”, the ex-Who bassist rose to rock stardom before dying of a cocaine-induced...

Etymologists discover the God participle 0
Thor 3 years