Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Japan to revert from hunting whales to hunting humans

In a move that has been welcomed by water-based mammals but less so by land-based Chinese, Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has confirmed that Japan will move its focus from the persecution of whales to a...

0
Wrenfoe 01.04.14 1:54pm
Wrenfoe
For the avoidance of Nick Griffin

Nick Griffin, the lovable, pug faced, neo Nazi leader of the BNP has tweeted details of how to avoid him without doubt. 'I try to avoid myself most days,' he tweeted, 'and you can too by not...

0
throngsman 01.04.14 1:52pm
throngsman
Martin/Paltrow split accidentally implicates Marti Pellow 0
Adrian Bamforth 01.04.14 1:43pm
Adrian Bamforth
Mis-selling scandal engulfs food bank

Toxteth Food Bank is to be investigated by the Food Standards Agency in the first case of its kind after allegations of mis-selling from a customer. Barry Rogers, a long standing food bank user who...

0
custard cream 01.04.14 1:34pm
custard cream
Putin attempts to impregnate Crimea

Despite promises to ‘pull out’ at the right moment, NATO observers have concluded that the Russian President has no intention of ‘interrupting’ his military coitus. Having entered the...

4
Wrenfoe 01.04.14 1:30pm
Squudge
NewsBiscuit moves to placate disgruntled writers with a bouncy flouncy castle

writers are expected to flounce in mid-bounce...

1
camz 01.04.14 1:22pm
throngsman
Elton John to marry himself

Sir Elton John is to marry himself in what is expected to be one of the most glittering ceremonies ever seen. The marriage has thus far been disallowed on the basis that he is the same sex as...

12
Adrian Bamforth 01.04.14 1:04pm
Adrian Bamforth
London 'in grip of smug'

Smug has descended on London, particularly in the business sector, causing an outbreak of embarrassing coughs as another Roller or Porche is bought out of the small change from last month's bonus....

3
throngsman 01.04.14 12:59pm
Adrian Bamforth
Obese people told to stop eating so much fruit and veg

'Where on earth did they get the idea that they should stuff themselves to bursting point with fruit and veg?' asked a scientist...

0
John Wiltshire 01.04.14 12:44pm
John Wiltshire
Moyes warns ref about Bayern's habit of 'scoring'

David Moyes issued a warning today, asking the referee of their match tonight against Bayern Munich to watch out for the habit of certain of the Bayern players to 'score'. 'I've been watching...

0
John Wiltshire 01.04.14 12:41pm
John Wiltshire
Cable defends himself - 'I do have a clue, actually, just not much of one''

Responding to allegations that he is a clueless old fart, Vince Cable has defended his actions regarding the post office sale. 'I took the advice of some chums I met in the bar who seemed to know...

0
throngsman 01.04.14 12:11pm
throngsman
Boris Johnson launches new Bicycle-Water-Cannons-For-Hire scheme

‘These new Boris Cannons are a tremendous wheeze,’ said the London Mayor. ‘I have already spent the day riding around on one, hosing down the hoi polloi and washing away beggars from shop...

0
Ludicity 01.04.14 11:32am
Ludicity
The EU debate is heating up.

Nick Clegg thinks he has a foolproof new strategy for the forthcoming debate over EU membership. http://www.kitart.co/web_assets/kitbag_thumbnails/blender_smallnt.gif...

0
Kit 01.04.14 11:24am
Kit
Daily Mail denies doing an April Fool story every day of the year

hat-tip to John Roughty for the idea, though I'm not sure I've got it spot on...

1
Sinnick 01.04.14 11:17am
Sinnick
Andrex shares soar after '7 a day' recommendation 0
Backup Brian 01.04.14 11:15am
Backup Brian
Snow White protests at call to "eat seven a day"

More to follow...

3
apepper 01.04.14 11:11am
Sinnick
Government announce help to buy scheme for new England strip 0
bookiesfriend 01.04.14 10:52am
bookiesfriend
Scientists recommend “infinite” fruit & veg every day

Nutritionists are now recommending an ‘infinity’ as the ideal portion size for fruit and vegetables. “To be fair, infinity is quite large ”, admitted Patrick Lunt of the Medical Research...

2
deceangli 01.04.14 10:50am
throngsman
Daily Express Leads with News Story as April Fool Joke

Express readers were left mystified this morning when the newspapers' front page was devoted to the increasingly contentious issue of international sanctions against Russia following the annexation...

0
John Roughty 01.04.14 10:11am
John Roughty
"Pinch, punch, first day of the month" to be banned in Glasgow

Punch and a kick for not running away quickly enough will remain...

0
vulture1 01.04.14 9:45am
vulture1
Ninety pounds for an England stript replica! Do they want the shirt off my back? 1
Ian Searle 01.04.14 9:36am
Gerontius
Sun finally comes out in Wales.

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-26818027[/url]...

1
deskpilot3 01.04.14 8:09am
Squudge
Andy Murray's new hotel 'dour and difficult to like' say Daily Mail 0
bookiesfriend 01.04.14 7:59am
bookiesfriend
Cliché Society back from the brink

The Crawley Cliché Society has made a dramatic recovery, only months after it nearly calling it a day. The society has been at the heart of the community for ever and a day. However due to...

12
Smart Alex 01.04.14 7:58am
Titus
£90 England Shirt 'An April 1st Joke - We Didn't Include The VAT'. 0
Titus 01.04.14 7:56am
Titus
New Health Advice: 'Eat 7 Chips A Day, Not 5'. 0
Titus 01.04.14 7:51am
Titus
New EU Directive To Standardise April 3rd As New April Fool's Day 0
Titus 01.04.14 7:49am
Titus
'Seven fruit & veg a day better be an April Fool's joke' say Scots 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 01.04.14 7:47am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Lonely IT geek left to own devices. 2
Mandy Lifeboat 01.04.14 7:41am
Psycadelic Squirrel
England Match Shirt £30 'Cooler' Than Stadium Shirt 0
Titus 01.04.14 7:19am
Titus