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Lord Ballyemond was hand deliverng complaint to Augusta Westland

It has been reported that Lord Ballyemond was so concerned about the safety of his helicopter that he took it upon himself to hand deliver a letter of complaint personally. An aide said, 'it was...

throngsman 14.03.14 6:17pm
Thatcherites mourn Benn

Leading tories are mourning the death of their greatest vote winner, Tony Benn. Many surviving cabinet members of the Thatcher governments joined the tributes to Benn, saying "Benn was the most...

GingerClive 14.03.14 6:14pm
Statisticians Confirm Events Really Do Happen In Threes

Nation chants 'hope it's Tony, hope it's Tony,'...

throngsman 14.03.14 6:08pm
That Crimean Referendum ballot paper in full:

If Homosexualist go straight to section B I would like to: A. join my great friends the Russians in a glorious future for both our countries, B. be shot immediately...

blacklesbianandproudofit 14.03.14 5:48pm
Manned mission to land on Richard Branson's ego postponed until 2018 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 14.03.14 5:44pm
Cameron to fly over South China Sea in show of support for missing passengers 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 14.03.14 5:07pm
US sailor who fired torpedo "thought he spotted Piers Morgan on shore" 0
sydalg 14.03.14 5:04pm
Missing Malaysian Plane Found !!!

Malaysian Carpenter delighted...

camz 14.03.14 4:37pm
Manufacturer admits helicopter customer "may have a point" 0
sydalg 14.03.14 4:31pm
Middlesborough middle man cut out 0
sydalg 14.03.14 4:17pm
Malaysian Airlines: MH370 passengers will qualify for full late arrival refund 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 14.03.14 4:09pm
Daily Mail tribute to Tony Benn includes fashion tip on Where to get THAT pipe

An investigation into whether Tony Ben has cellulite has been sensationally spiked, as the Daily Mail announced a new, more flattering revision of the Tony Benn story. References to swivel eyed...

ronseal 14.03.14 3:31pm
All News Channels Report Missing Aircraft Still Missing

In a joint statement all channels have stated that they know the square root of SFA about the missing aircraft, apart from the fact that it is missing and how long it has been missing. The channels...

Rumour Control 14.03.14 3:22pm
Rumour Control
Middle class snobs insist – ‘Cats should be cooked in an Aga’

Pretentious cooks throughout the land were united today in their condemnation of Laura Cunliffe, who microwaved a cat in revenge for eating her pet goldfish. While fourteen weeks of imprisonment may...

Wrenfoe 14.03.14 3:17pm
Basildon Bond founder "distressed" by GCHQ letter reading revelations 0
Bigglesworth 14.03.14 3:15pm
Benn refuses to accept privileges and stays outside St Peter's gate

RIP to the person who made me realise there was another valid view when I was an ex public school arrogant twat...

Not Amused 14.03.14 2:00pm
Midfield Diamond
BT under investigation after whistleblower finds good customer service 0
Bigglesworth 14.03.14 2:00pm
"Not invasion, just vacation" protests Russian Army

The Russian Army has admitted that the 'invasion force' in Crimea is in fact a last minute spring-break booking by the 25000 strong 3rd Army Division. "Despite the size of formation, we are very...

FlashArry 14.03.14 1:59pm
Midfield Diamond
Benn decides to take seat in House of Lords 2
A.A.Arkwright 14.03.14 1:57pm
Midfield Diamond
Russian Exercise only a PT Session says Sergei Lavrov

In talks with John Kerry, Lavrov has insisted that the 10,000 troops deployed along the Ukrainian Border were only doing press-ups and star jumps. He said the whole affair had been misreported by...

Guillermo De Snookio 14.03.14 1:50pm
Guillermo De Snookio
Malaysia today announces failure of tommorrow's search efforts 0
Dumbnews 14.03.14 1:37pm
Airliner will be found in the last place we look say Malaysians.

Stating the obvious...

MADJEZ 14.03.14 1:28pm
Morrisons payroll data stolen. Staff all on £6.31 an hour.

No surprise there then...

MADJEZ 14.03.14 1:26pm
Mr Benn to take over as the socialist voice of reason in British politics

The BBC has announced that popular 1970’s TV personality Mr Benn will be coming out of retirement to run for parliament. The news has been greeted with a collective sigh of relief by troubled BBC...

14.03.14 1:18pm
Max Clifford: An Apology

We wish to point out an earlier error in our reporting of events at Max Clifford's trial this morning. We are happy to clarify that the debate in court was about how big a penis Mr Clifford has, not...

Andy Gilder 14.03.14 1:12pm
Andy Gilder
Mr Benn selects cherub outfit

more later...

virtuallywill 14.03.14 1:06pm
Grim Reaper Working Through Left Wingers Letters A – D

It is now assumed that the Grim Reaper is using an alphabetical approach to sorting out terminations. Hopes are rising that another prominent politician may be taken from us., The dice are rolling...

Rumour Control 14.03.14 1:00pm
Benn becomes 'flying picket', joins Crow in afterlife dispute 0
Adrian Bamforth 14.03.14 12:36pm
Adrian Bamforth
Benn anagrams that work better: "Own an enlightened body now"

Anthony Neil Wedgwood Benn - one of the best anagrammatic names around .. So many possibilities but I won't swamp them here: "Tony. Now we bond, Angel. Dine !"...

Not Amused 14.03.14 11:18am
Not Amused
Whisky Bar a success in the City

Aqua Flava, a trendy whisky bar in London's financial centre, has proved a success for its investors as well as its patrons. Launched in 2012 by Jasper Koffland, an investment banker, the bar offers...

Beer Sampler 14.03.14 10:08am
Beer Sampler