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Scientists create artificial Quorn from dead cows

Scandinavian scientists have managed to create a chunk of Quorn without using mushrooms; cells from 28,000 cows have been processed to produce the single chunk at a cost of £1.3millon - although...

0
apepper 05.08.13 12:13pm
apepper
Gibralter row ended, with Isle of Wight and Gareth Bale handed over to Spain... 0
Tripod 05.08.13 12:13pm
Tripod
Glastonbury backstage marshals run musician hygiene area

in what is being referred to as an 'organised shower of bands'...

0
NewBiscuit 05.08.13 11:51am
NewBiscuit
Push for Posh Prisons

Dodgy bankers, lying MPs, paedophile celebs and others fearing they are at risk of being busted or grassed up are now urgently seeking homes within the catchment area of one of the more 'posh'...

0
Titus 05.08.13 10:26am
Titus
Laboratory Creates Synthetic Spam

"Yeah, like we're short of Spam" said a fake designer clad commentator...

0
Titus 05.08.13 10:09am
Titus
Six billion people boycott Twitter

Almost the entire population of the world will not be tweeting today, in a mass protest against something or other. Probably the pointlessness of the very existence of Twitter. It is thought that...

2
NewBiscuit 05.08.13 10:04am
Titus
Radicalisation 'no longer required' with launch of first test tube terrorist

Militant Islamist organisation Al-Qaeda have claimed that the time consuming process of radicalising its new recruits 'is a thing of the past', following the unveiling of the world's first 'test tube...

0
Jesus H 05.08.13 9:51am
Jesus H
Artificial meat found to contain traces of synthetic horse DNA 2
Ludicity 05.08.13 9:47am
Arthur
Coastal town poverty cycle follows success of RideLondon weekend 0
NewBiscuit 05.08.13 8:15am
NewBiscuit
Today's special: Test tube burger flame grilled by Bunsen burner 0
A.A.Arkwright 05.08.13 8:06am
A.A.Arkwright
Viewing public bewildered as James Nesbitt fails to appear in new advertisement. 0
tedweasel 05.08.13 7:54am
tedweasel
MPs warned by advertising van with slogan "Are You Claiming Expenses Illegally" 2
ronseal 05.08.13 7:51am
tedweasel
Test-Tube Burgers Baffle GM Food Protesters

"Some people object to food which has been geneticaly modified" said a labortaory worker "So we have responded by developing a genetically-modified, more-or-less edible product which is not actually...

0
Titus 05.08.13 7:34am
Titus
Dr Who accused of briefing against The Master 0
ronseal 05.08.13 7:21am
ronseal
Threatened Daleks To Be Declared an 'Endangered Species" 0
Titus 05.08.13 7:09am
Titus
Stephen Fry could become the first "Dr Whom"

Hat tip to Wrenfoe's mum...

14
CulchaVulcha 05.08.13 6:27am
CulchaVulcha
Daleks Flee Terrifying Shrieks Of "See Youse, Jimmy!" 0
Titus 04.08.13 10:58pm
Titus
Three men demand an end to gender inequality as they launch Meminist Movement

The world has changed dramatically in the time since men first decided it was okay to let women in the office. What was once a fun eccentricity has now become a full blown attack on the male way of...

0
Hooch 04.08.13 10:52pm
Hooch
Daleks Block Simon Cowell's Bid To Become Dr Who As 'Cruel And Unnatural' Threat 0
Titus 04.08.13 10:28pm
Titus
I'm gonny pull yer swivelly heid aff ya fascist fucking dalek bastard! 0
Drylaw 04.08.13 10:02pm
Drylaw
Kiss my sweaty Tardis, says Capaldi 1
sponge finger 04.08.13 8:55pm
Squudge
Exterminate or fuck the fuck off 4
Squudge 04.08.13 8:50pm
sponge finger
Peter Capaldi to be new Dr Fucking Who. more soon. 2
Al OPecia 04.08.13 8:49pm
sponge finger
Compromise Script Says "Exterminate You, You Mother-Exterminating Exterminators" 0
Titus 04.08.13 8:14pm
Titus
"Same Person Marriage" Campaign Spearheaded By Simon Cowell

"I just want the same rights as a couple" said Mr Cowell. "The present laws requiring a marriage to involve two people is discriminatory. As someone who is deeply in love, I should be able to make...

0
Titus 04.08.13 8:05pm
Titus
Dr Who "to be broadcast after watershed" as Peter Capaldi takes on lead role

Maybe more...

0
AReader 04.08.13 8:01pm
AReader
Simon Cowell admits life-long 'sordid affair' with himself

Shamed X-Factor chief Simon Cowell was left facing difficult questions today, after details of a bizarre and sordid affair with himself were revealed by now ex-lover Lauren Silverman, who claims the...

14
Jesus H 04.08.13 7:59pm
Titus
Fearful Dr Who Complains Of Tweets From Daleks 'Threatening To Exterminate Him'

Boss of Twitter apologises for any distress caused and states that the Twitter accounts of any Daleks who make 'abusive or threatening' posts will be closed. However as a precaution, all the servers...

2
Titus 04.08.13 7:57pm
Titus
Dr Who the *?!$!!! announced as replacement to Matt Smith 0
custard cream 04.08.13 7:25pm
custard cream
Trolls versus ‘celebrities’ war of words – a special report

Most ‘celebrities’ say trolls are pathetic mild-mannered misogynist men with no friends and tiny penises, despite there being no conclusive evidence this is even a small percentage of the case....

1
farmer giles 04.08.13 7:04pm
Titus