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LHC collides a pig and a buffalo to create the Hoggs Bison 3
Perks 3 years

no more soon...

News International launch own brand bugging system 0
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Agnostic particle questions existence of the 'God' particle 0
Smart Alex 3 years
Hillbilly Scientists discover the Hicks, Bo & Luke particle in West Virginia 2
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
Urgent delivery of Kleenex made to Brian Cox 3
medici2471 3 years
Barclays customers 'physically sick' at the sight of Bob Diamond 1
roybland 3 years
Higgs boson 'nothing without fancy name' 0
roybland 3 years
Higgs boson 'probably very small' say Cern scientists 0
roybland 3 years
Catholic Church fights Higgs Boson evidence with their own 'God Article' 0
Perks 3 years

The world watched a press conference from CERN in amazement today as they announced they had probably found the Higgs Boson, the particle believed to be responsible for giving everything mass and...

Where's Wally? announces retirement to countryside to 'avoid the crowds' 0
quango 3 years

Wally, 65, has finally gone into retirement after finally losing his patience getting caught in huge crowds everywhere he has gone. "Last week I tried to go to the beach, and when I got there it was...

Mp's Quiz Brian Cox over "Higgs Bonus" 1
Rowly 3 years

They are seeking guidance from the Eminent Cern Professor before quizzing Bob Diamond today., They want clarification of how the Higgs Bonus can be detected in the major financial accelerator called...

Scientists find Higgs Boson, sights now set on elusive British Summer ... 0
Kramaring 3 years

Mon soon ....

BBC audiences shocked as Andrew Castle has yet to say when I played here 0
simonjmr 3 years
Constipated physicist discovers dark matter 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Mrs. Higg's bosom delights Large Hardon scientists 0
Haywood Manley 3 years

Sorry, had to get that off my chest...

Andre Villas-Boas Discards His Frank Spencer Raincoat 1
3 years

New Spurs boss, Andre Villas-Boas, told journalists today that he's got rid of his favourite designer raincoat, on the advice of a sports psychologist. Boyish Boas revealed that top Chelsea FC...

Financial Services Authority boss awarded massive bonus as fine revenue booms 4
ronseal 3 years

As Britain's Financial Services Authority enjoys its biggest fine revenues since unreliable records began, the boss of the FSA was last night anticipating a stratospheric bonus. It's the just reward...

After searching the old crone's bathroom, we finally discovered the Hag's Basin 1
Rootin Tootin 3 years

Is that a bit TOO silly?...

Banks announce discovery of "Negative Integrity" at City Financial Accelerator. 0
Rowly 3 years
Henman to star in Wimbledon-based porn film: 'Come on Tim' 0
grumblechops 3 years
Scientists hail first sighting of elusive "bankers' morals" 10
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

Jubilant scientists in CERN have confirmed the first known sighting of the infinitesimally small ‘collective conscience of the bankers’, after a hunt lasting many years. ‘We knew one banker,...

Hazzard County missing animals Dept finally tracks down Hogg's Bison 1
Smart Alex 3 years
Refuge learns profanity English from people completing Captcha on online shops 0
simonjmr 3 years
Scientists disappointed to find dark matter "looks like Woking". 0
Boutros 3 years

The 'missing' 95% of the universe is "very similar to Woking, in most important respects". Hoping to discover new matter with exciting esoteric properties, CERN Boffins were gutted to find the hidden...

Other sub-atomic particles demand equal publicity to Higg's boson 0
Smart Alex 3 years

Following months of recent media speculation and then today announcement by CERN, other sub-atomic particles are said to be furious at the lack of column inches dedicated to them. In a...

Lonely hearts ads may be breaking anti-discrimination laws 11
kga6 3 years

Anyone think this is worth developing?...

Bob Diamond To Stack Shelves at Poundland 0
daneade 3 years

After missing his first appointment at Jobcentre the newly unemployed Bob Diamond has been ordered to complete 2 weeks work assistance at his local Poundland. Diamond has objected strongly to the...

Stuart Pearce excluded from London Fashion week for "style reasons" 0
simonjmr 3 years

London Fashion week has this week responded to Victoria Beckhams request that Stuart Pearce be excluded from attending the annual fashion fest due to "style reasons" More soon...

Superdry Ban To Take Effect From Tomorrow 0
daneade 3 years

The nationwide ban on all forms of Superdry clothing comes into effect from midnight tonight. The emergency measures have been forced on the government as it seeks to stop up to 1 in 3 Britons from...

LHC to be put to work finding elusive banker's conscience 0
gregle 3 years

Following the discovery of the Higgs boson scientists at CERN have announced that the LHC can now turn its attention to more practical work. Having demonstrated its ability to find something...