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Murray chokes harder than Michael Hutchence 0
Christopher Frost 3 years
Strauss-Kahn tipped as next Pope 0
roybland 3 years
Slackers launch new charity “Sickie” for sufferers of minor ailments 1
antharrison 3 years

Hypochondriacs and workplace slackers across the UK have united to form Sickie, a new charitable foundation for the millions of British people, of whom 97% are male, who suffer in almost silence from...

Chelsea Pensioners must work until 103 2
Dick Everyman 3 years

Under the Government's latest austerity measures, Chelsea pensioners will have to work until the age of 103. Medical advances and a 'cosseted' existence have prolonged the life span of the average...

Farmers employed to teach bankers humility 1
FraserWords 3 years

In a new clampdown on the banking sector, the Government is to employ farmers and taxi drivers to teach wealthy bankers some humility., Farmers and taxi drivers will also be encouraged to help the...

Daily Mail hits out at benefit scrounging migrants who take our jobs 0
roybland 3 years
Six-month-old tennis prodigy is Britain's new Wimbledon hope 1
roybland 3 years

Six-month -old Jimmy Williams has been named as Britain's next Wimbledon champion by the Lawn Tennis Association's chief talent scout.,  , 'As soon as I saw the way he swings his rattle, I knew we...

Woman freed after killing "most annoying husband in the world" 0
ermintrude 3 years

Mrs Elsie Peavey (79) was freed from the Old Bailey today following the sensational verdict of the jury. In two days of testimony she decsribed the husband's various foibles, It all began when...

Amy Winehouse tribute act has tour cancelled after arriving on stage coherent 2
ronseal 3 years

Disappointed fans of Amy Winehouse reacted furiously when a tribute act arrived on stage untoxicated. "This is a real kick in the teeth." said Mary, 45, who'd left her children at home, or was it...

New York District Attorney:"Dominique Strauss-KHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!" 0
JohnA 3 years

DSK no longer under house arrest or on bail. Should be free to go on philandering shortly...

Tennis fans notice Djokovic has the eyes of a killer 0
Christopher Frost 3 years
Fencing contractors to strike and form pickets. more soon 0
Mrblacker 3 years
Tories to encourage UK households to feed British birds instead of migrants 1
bonjonelson 3 years

The government were embroiled in a new controversy today after remarks from a senior minister suggesting that UK households should give preferential treatment to native British bird species over...

RAF to offer 'buy before we fly' Tripoli air photo service 1
DrE 3 years

With the UK's role in military operations against Colonel Gaddafi's regime predicted to cost £260m, the Conservative Defence Secretary, Liam Fox, yesterday announced that the Government were...

ghost dumped by girlfriend because she 'could see right through him' 0
Leeboy007 3 years
Anger as National Trust house-breeding plans end in fiasco 3
Oxbridge 3 years

The National Trust’s controversial plan to breed new ancient manor houses for future generations has come under fire, following a failed attempt to mate the Somerset-based Elizabethan manor...

FA celebrate new Bribery Act becoming law 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

The Football Association is one of several bodies celebrating the introduction of the new Bribery Act which became law today, 1st July 2011. Recognising the immense influence of a substantial bribe...

Criminal Trade Association better for all says Man 0
virtuallywill 3 years

A new Government initiative to reduce the cost of crime is to be introduced next week., The National Association of Local Offenders (NALO) will register British criminals with a proven track record...

‘Lib Dem Line’ launched by Esther Rantzen 0
Dick Everyman 3 years

Esther Rantzen, founder of the child protection charity Child Line has launched a new crusade to protect Liberal Democrats – ‘Lib Dem Line’. After yesterday’s trouncing in the Inverclyde...

New US Army Combat Training Simulator "only useful for Zombie attack training" 0
Tom55 3 years

An Office of Management and Budget spokesman defended his cancellation of the $6.75 Billion project. "The simulator was built around an existing platform and we were unaware that it could only cope...

Describe my job? It's all swings & roundabouts, says park-keeper 0
Leeboy007 3 years

more to follow...

Government takes action over mini roundabouts abuse 0
Dick Everyman 3 years

The Department for Transport has unveiled plans to tackle misuse of mini roundabouts across the UK. Roads Minister, Mike Penning, today launched a consultation into proposed changes that will see...

Government stocks of red herring, 'seriously depleted', report warns 3
roybland 3 years

Government stocks of red herring have reached dangerously low levels because of overuse by ministers, according to a report from the Red Herring Quota Board.,  , Foreign Secretary William Hague is...

Tories defend their right to stab pensioners in the back by robbing them 1
Qoxiivi 3 years
Fury as National Trust house breeding programme fails again 8
Oxbridge 3 years

The National Trust’s controversial plan to breed new ancient manor houses for future generations has come under fire, following a failed attempt to mate the Elizabethan manor Montacute House with...

Charlene Wittstock shocked at fiancé Prince Albert's choice of ring 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Teachers Unions call for six week summer strike action 2
Augustus_the_cat 3 years

Today in an unprecedented step teaching unions have called for their members to down whiteboard markers and red pens for six weeks this summer in national strike action. Union leader Terry Cobblers...

Canadians say Royal Visit not as exciting as log-rolling 0
roybland 3 years
Recruiting British staff ‘a recipe for relegation’ say Premier League clubs 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Success for Sharapova at Wimbledon would see her sitting on two fortunes 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years