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New plastic iphone "can print plastic fivers"

The new plastic Iphone will have the capacity to print the new plastic five pound note, according to a joint annoucment by the Royal Mint and Apple. It will be the first time a smartphone can double...

5
nickb 12.09.13 10:06am
nickb
First iPhone 5S mugging reported: ‘He chopped off my finger and took my phone’. 0
Tripod 12.09.13 9:45am
Tripod
'Come out, come out, whatever you are' Obama urges Putin

There was stunned silence at the Whitehouse press conference today as Barrack Obama took to the lectern, brandishing what he believed to be, Vladimir Putin's most secret weapon, an 18' inflatable...

0
Robopop 12.09.13 9:32am
Robopop
Dangerous weapons discovered at London Arms Fair

Organisers of the London Arms Fair were shocked to discover that there were weapons on sale which could hurt people. A spokesman for the organisers, Ian McCullough, said: 'Walking round the stands...

0
John Wiltshire 12.09.13 9:08am
John Wiltshire
The very grateful unemployed

The long term unemployed are so grateful to this Government for so reducing benefits that having a part time, minimum wage, zero hours contract job has become a position to aspire to., Ian Dunk...

0
pjc 12.09.13 7:29am
pjc
Queen required to pay bedroom tax

The Queen's a bit miffed because in compliance with Dave's " were all in it together " she is about to have her rather mingy allowance reduced in relation to the 52 family bedrooms at Buck Palice....

0
pjc 12.09.13 6:47am
pjc
New iPhone tattoos fact you have an iPhone on inside of other peoples eyelids.

Just in case they hadn't got the message., This post uploaded by iPhone yes I have an iPhone did you not know I have an iPhone, oh it's the best you really should get one...

0
MADJEZ 12.09.13 5:17am
MADJEZ
Kitchen Aid launch range of decorative appliances designed to be never used 0
Dumbnews 12.09.13 4:23am
Dumbnews
O-yez, there is more information on these stories on the church noticeboard

And you can contact the Town Crier by semaphore, carrier pigeon or giving a note to a passing stage coach...

0
Ian Searle 12.09.13 4:17am
Ian Searle
Consumer in search of more information from magazine accused of 'Which' Hunt 0
Ian Searle 12.09.13 4:14am
Ian Searle
Apple Releases I-Wok 5

Apple's attempt to dominate sales in the lucrative Chinese market has skyrocketed following the release of its new i-phone which also doubles as a handy ready to use wok. First reactions from the...

0
ozworld 12.09.13 12:10am
ozworld
BBC accuses BBC of having a 'horrible anus'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24054923...

0
quango 11.09.13 10:47pm
quango
Man stares into the fetid maw of his own mortality watching ITV2's Big Reunion

 , Steven Harris (32) from Croydon, South London reported feeling the crushing realisation that his best years are far behind him while watching an episode of ITV2's The Big Reunion: On Tour last...

0
phil_smith 11.09.13 10:19pm
phil_smith
Apple already hyping iPhone 6, iPhone7 and iPhone 7.5. 1
deskpilot3 11.09.13 10:14pm
Arthur
Beast Finally Goes Ex-Directory After Spate Of Nuisance Sales Calls 4
Titus 11.09.13 10:10pm
ronseal
Government claims that HS2 will cure cancer.

Or possibly just let it get to specialists in London more quickly...

0
deskpilot3 11.09.13 10:09pm
deskpilot3
Apple users unsure which greasy thumbprint they should press their digit on. 0
deskpilot3 11.09.13 10:08pm
deskpilot3
Nokia/Microsoft steals Apple's thunder by reinstating the Start button. 0
deskpilot3 11.09.13 10:07pm
deskpilot3
Apple Releases Same Stupid Crap That Doesn't Work

http://www.theonion.com/video/sony-releases-new-stupid-piece-of-shit-that-doesnt,14309/...

4
Dumbnews 11.09.13 9:57pm
Arthur
Panic As Aliens Develop Foil-Penetrating Brain Radar

And I know what you're going to post...

0
Titus 11.09.13 9:43pm
Titus
London to Wigan annual season ticket to cost £15bn by 2037, forecasters predict 0
Arthur 11.09.13 9:10pm
Arthur
Apple Introduces iTag For Wealthy Style-Conscious Super-Criminals 0
Titus 11.09.13 7:48pm
Titus
New study proves larger vocabulary means more words

thanks sherlock...

1
rogerg 11.09.13 7:46pm
Opening paragraph just repeats the headline, claims journalist.

The opening paragraph of too many news stories just repeats the headline, with one or two extra words added, a journalist claimed today. And the following sentence inevitably starts with the word...

28
Boutros 11.09.13 7:38pm
ἑξακόσιοι δέκα ἕξ 4
Arthur 11.09.13 7:05pm
apepper
Möbius strip MP changes sides

More to follow...

0
apepper 11.09.13 6:59pm
apepper
Tuvalu fury at Syria peace proposal 'snub'

Tuvalu's ambassador to the United Nations was yesterday reported to be 'apoplectic with fury' at what he called a 'brazen snub' of the island's proposal to bring peace and stability to Syria. Alvara...

0
Bravenewmalden 11.09.13 6:34pm
Bravenewmalden
New Peter Andre painting identified

A previously unknown portrait by Peter Andre has been identified by the museum of worthless celebrity art. The piece, titled 'Jordan mon amour' - which depicts Andre's now ex-wife, Katie Price, in...

4
Robopop 11.09.13 5:59pm
godly1966
Future celebrity rape cases to be assessed on a LeVell playing field. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 11.09.13 5:26pm
dominic_mcg
Bodmin Anaesthetist Claims To Be The Numb-er Of The Beast

Neat-o Hat-tip to Midfield Diamond...

3
Flugelbinder 11.09.13 5:24pm
Midfield Diamond