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Health and safety Nazis invade Poland 0
Long Distance Clara 3 years

There was concern across Europe today after battalions of health and safety Nazis armed with clipboards and pens were seen marching across the Polish border wearing hard hats and high-viz jackets....

Apple, Orange and a shiny new penny top Christmas wish list. 0
spoole2112 3 years

More later...

Black turtleneck sweaters "aid creativity", says study 1
nickb 3 years

It has been the dressed-down garment of cool for over five years. Along with the big screen, the echoey venue and the use of the words “here’s the thing that makes this thing so cool”, it’s...

Two groups of muscley men flounce round a field after a symbolic giant testicle 4
Ironduke 3 years

wearing coloured shirts and wrestling with each other...

Cameron still wondering how he can blame last Labour government for Liam Fox 1
roybland 3 years
George Osbourne arrested for running 'giant Ponzi scheme' 0
acwanaut 3 years

Whitehall was in shock last night after current Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osbourne, was arrested by Cheshire Police in the grounds of his constituency mansion on charges of running a Ponzi...

Dictionary corner: "Pokemon" - Jamaican slang for poor quality accommodation 1
Iamthestig 3 years
House of Lords a-peers to have gas supply 0
Perks 3 years

David Cameron has today announced a big discovery in the search for cheaper fuel. For many years now the price of fuel has been increasing to unaffordable levels. Over the same period, as the average...

Uproar as hardline headmaster bans child for having a piercing 8
Ironduke 3 years

When her five year old son Vandeleur was excluded from his kindergarten class merely for having a piercing, concerned mum Flangia Scrutter felt it was the final straw. "Little Vandy were proper set...

Dale Farm to be honoured with "Royal" prefix. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 3 years
Adam & Eve still alive says Greek Pension Payment Office 1
witless 3 years
Gay bar free groping offer will reverse falling profits.....touch wood 1
Perks 3 years
Shanklin residents complain of "deafening silence" from Quaker Meeting House 7
JohnA 3 years

I had a whole story to go with this, but I've forgotten what it was...

Global finance anarchists ask RBS and HSBC "Could we possibly use your loo?" 1
antharrison 3 years
Inaugural Dale Farmers Market "mostly potatoes" 5
charlies_hat 3 years
Government announces switch off of analogue power stations. 0
Ostsee 3 years
Interest in airline grows as Branson and Stelios join to launch Easy Virgin. 10
Perks 3 years
Electricity pylon design competition won by 'extended middle finger' concept 12
3 years

A competition to find Britain's next electricity pylon has been won by a design that reflects the customer's complex relationship with energy use. Drawing on organic influences and conveying a proud...

Commonwealth side roars into rugby world cup final 3
3 years
Sex Workers Protest Artificial Whore Moan Replacement 4
rikkor 3 years
Curry headline made into a tikka 0
arthurminnit 3 years
M&M's World, Happiest Place On Earth 1
Comrade Tweed 3 years

I can't breathe. Not a metre into this place, and I can't breathe. The smog here is so suffocating that in under a minute I feel nauseous, I have minor stomach pains, and a slight headache. It's so...

"Liam Fox is my imaginary friend" - Werritty 0
apepper 3 years

Adam Werritty has claimed that Liam Fox was an [i]imaginary [/i]friend. "I certainly didn't think he really existed. How could he?", said a confused Werritty. "I've sometimes felt a bit lonely on...

bager cull rumoured to be a Ga Ga idea 5
4ty2 3 years

in attempt to revive the fur trade so empoverished artists don't have to wear cloth made from beef but can wear some decent fur instead - and taste of lobster...

Small independent bookshop sells book 5
roybland 3 years

Small independent bookshop Real Books yesterday sold a book, according to an unconfirmed report from the Small Independent Bookshops Association. Penny Wilson (76) said she was browsing in the...

Mumbai refuses to be twinned with Southall saying "we have standards to uphold" 0
witless 3 years
State Pension age down to 40 as Health and Safety Executive disbanded 0
bootjangler 3 years

We were all living longer, or so they told us, so the State Pension age went further out of our grasp to the point where we might simply need it to pay for a nurse to pop round to wipe our bottoms....

moshi monsters to be banned under the human rights act 1
4ty2 3 years

as judges claim there is no right to laugh., Next case is to Ban Fox news as parody act on former UK polotician...

It's Only a Paper Moon, says Renowned Physicist 1
Drylaw 3 years

A Nobel Prize winning physicist has astounded the world's science community by throwing doubts on the basic rules of the Cosmos and it's "furniture". "It's only a paper moon," announced Professor...

Quack doctor boasts he gets great results that can not be replicated 0
Dumbnews 3 years