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ISIS New Book '50 Shades of Black' Compulsory Reading 1
Dun Dunkin 24.07.14 5:23pm
Dun Dunkin
Lord Lawson 'too hot' to deny climate change

Lord Lawson of Blaby PC is said to be too hot at the moment to deny climate change. A spokesman for Lord Lawson's climate change sceptic think-tank said he was 'having trouble thinking straight' due...

0
roybland 24.07.14 3:28pm
roybland
Harvest Ungathered as Old McDonald Prefers Doing Social Media

'Wanna see me sex selfie?'...

0
Dun Dunkin 24.07.14 2:33pm
Dun Dunkin
Current teens officially 'the most boring ever'

With a culture based almost exclusively on facebook, a sense of entitlement, unremarkable US female vocalists and abstinence, the current crop of teenagers in the UK have been officially branded the...

0
RobArmstrong 24.07.14 1:49pm
RobArmstrong
Latest air disaster puns hampered because nothing rhymes with Burkina Faso 0
beckfordburger 24.07.14 1:28pm
beckfordburger
First Commonwealth Medals Won Now on Ebay. 0
IABP 2 24.07.14 12:34pm
IABP 2
The reign in Spain falls mainly on the plain 0
farmer giles 24.07.14 12:03pm
farmer giles
Passport photos will be required to show ‘sex face’ in future

Passport photos are to show the ‘sex face’ from September onwards, rather than the ‘pissed off face’ currently in use. “The sex face is impossible to forge with current technology”, said...

13
deceangli 24.07.14 11:39am
Not Amused
Cannibal arrested for eating victim’s penis admits 'I felt like a bit of a dick' 0
beckfordburger 24.07.14 11:00am
beckfordburger
Edinburgh family set for challenge of visiting Glasgow for Commonwealth Games

Edinburgh husband and wife Lucy and James Buchannan and their 2 children Grace and Marcus are ready to face up to the challenge of a visit to Glasgow for the Commonwealth Games. The family, from the...

5
bookiesfriend 24.07.14 10:56am
beckfordburger
Games volunteers praised for answering queries with ‘Whassittaeyoo?’

Following the opening ceremony last night, Commonwealth Games organisers have been inundated with compliments about the stewards and their traditional Glaswegian welcome for visitors to the City. ...

1
Midfield Diamond 24.07.14 10:46am
Bravenewmalden
John Barrowman Still Attending Every Public Event Despite ASBO. 1
IABP 2 24.07.14 10:11am
Wrenfoe
Tidal surge in Clyde mystery solved as log jam of Scottie dog corpses removed 0
RobArmstrong 24.07.14 9:29am
RobArmstrong
Barry Hearn to spice up office jobs with entrance music and dancing girls

A Bedford-based logistics company is working with renowned sports promoter Barry Hearn, in an attempt to make their office jobs more popular with the addition of loud music, rowdy live audiences and...

2
Vertically Challenged Giant 24.07.14 9:18am
J Vine
Proclaimers win 1000-mile walk at Commonwealth Games 3
james_doc 24.07.14 9:12am
IABP 2
Arizona to use Commonwealth Games opening ceremony on future death row inmates

After another botched execution by lethal injection, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is reviewing a number of other options for carrying out future death sentences. "Last night's opening ceremony in...

0
cinnahmon 24.07.14 9:09am
cinnahmon
No Glasgow Herald today as page 3 model fails to get top off, more soon 0
Thundi 24.07.14 8:39am
Thundi
Do Police Spy On Journalists Investigting Police Spying On Bereaved Families?

Hello, what's that police car doing outside my house, watching me type this?...

0
Titus 24.07.14 8:05am
Titus
Parents Blamed For Worrying Fall In Teenage Drug Abuse & Pregnancies 0
Titus 24.07.14 7:51am
Titus
Man recalls "thrill and disorientation" on using office toilets on another floor

Jason Westly, 43, of Shoreditch has told of the slightly different layout and fixture design of toilets 3 floors above his usual loos. Still reeling from the faint sense of invasion ("almost like...

16
Schoolboy 24.07.14 7:28am
IABP 2
BBC's pronunciation of 'Glasgow' could boost Yes vote in independence referendum 6
Scroat 24.07.14 7:14am
Scroat
Claims Direct appointed to solve Gaza crisis

A team of crack lawyers from Claims Direct has been dispatched to Gaza on a mission to solve the crisis there on a 'no win, now flee' basis. They aim to help thousands of people who have suffered an...

9
Boutros 24.07.14 4:29am
Squudge
Tyrannosaurus rex less anti-social than previously thought

The discovery of three sets of t-rex tracks in close proximity, indicitive of pack hunting behaviour, is considered by many scientists to be the most important finding since they discovered that...

0
Mork 23.07.14 11:55pm
Mork
New Website 'BogAdvisor' Set Up To Advise People The Best Places To Go

Including guest feedback and star ratings for various features:, - size of cubicle, - comfort of seat, - softness of paper, - effectiveness of hand drier, - literary and artistic quality of...

5
Titus 23.07.14 11:44pm
Sir Lupus
Masturbation to be included in employment figures

Chancellor George Osborne has broadened the definition of ‘employment’ to include ‘walking the dog’, ‘looking for the remote’ and, controversially, ‘cracking out a swift one’....

2
deceangli 23.07.14 9:23pm
vulture1
David Cameron voted one of the most serious-looking men in the World.

Other finalists are Barack Obama, Angela Merkel, that bloke they made Archbishop of Canterbury, David Attenborough talking about how all the Polar Bears are dying, any BBC newsreader mentioning the...

1
vulture1 23.07.14 8:31pm
IABP 2
BBC to repeat their Commonwealth Games' coverage until somebody watches.

Endless hours soon...

0
Crayon 23.07.14 8:05pm
Crayon
Russia very worried about UK arms embargo

In case it stops and they get lumbered with a load of useless kit just like the British Army...

0
vulture1 23.07.14 7:55pm
vulture1
Suddenly Britain Not Imperialist Slavers Now they Giving Out Free Medals 1
Dun Dunkin 23.07.14 7:50pm
vulture1
Clown Gets 600k for Funfair Dismissal 0
Dun Dunkin 23.07.14 7:13pm
Dun Dunkin