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John Prescott delivers Shipping Forecast from toilet: "Oh my! That one's a .... 0
thackaray 3 years

. danger to shipping."...

Flasher's Union claim carbon footprint halved as webcams allow their members 9
Ironduke 3 years

to work from home...

Charlie Sheen admits he's not all there, as he's no longer the half in 2 1/2 men 0
Iamthestig 3 years
TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE 7
Mr Tickle 3 years

HA HA TICKLE TICKLE HA HA HA HA TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE HA HATICKLE TICKLE..H...

Lab-grown urethra "very exciting" says McDonalds spokesman 0
rickwestwell 3 years
William Hague and Prince Andrew join 'Dancing On Thin Ice' 2
John Wiltshire 3 years
Prince Andrew now friends with Jonathan King and Gary Glitter 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

The Duke of York has let it be known that he very much regrets his association with Jeffrey Epstein, and that he has made some new friends. 'I think that contacts within show business are...

Jacqui Smith advocates money shot as effective form of affordable contraception 1
charlies_hat 3 years
Contamination risk from food packaging containing recycled Daily Mail 0
charlies_hat 3 years

The Food Standards Agency has issued a health warning to the public due to the risk of contamination from recycled bigotry. Many consumers of food packaging used in groceries such as breakfast...

Mr Sheen banned from flying after failing drugs test 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Raymond Blanc’s new TV series to be called ‘Cooking on a log fire’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Recycled packaging risk dismissed as ‘yesterday’s news’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Salvage firms expect record profits as Prescott prepares to do Shipping Forecast 0
pinxit 3 years
Decision to sell Hawkeye to Sony "was too close to call" says spokesman. 2
MC One R 3 years
Report confirms Lemming sales have "dropped off a cliff". More soon. 0
MC One R 3 years
Sales of self assembly furniture remain "flat". More soon. 0
MC One R 3 years
Local man with cold feet unable to put his best foot forward 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Barclays Bank Reveals Bonus's Slashed For Sixth Month Running 0
thisisall1word 3 years

Barclays bank revealed today that it would again spread the burden of the UKs financial woe by reducing the 'Start of Lent' round of bonuses., Chief executive Bob Diamond released figures showing...

Eoin Morgan says he was "called up to the wrong side" 0
Nick McCarr 3 years

Pietersen returns home, greeted with cheers in Durban...

New show "One And A Half Men" to have occasional guest stars. 0
Nick McCarr 3 years

Liam Gallagher and Pete Doherty 'available'...

Ziggy Sawdust and the Spiders from Mazda not a great hit in the US 0
bonjonelson 3 years

more. soon...

Shares in Poundtretcher soar as George Osbourne says Let's get Britain 14
yamashow 3 years

making things again...

Irish Government Issues Official Apology for Jedward 0
maxshreck 3 years

In the midst of the ensuing economic crisis, the Irish Government yesterday took a step back to address matters of a more cultural nature. "We are in dark times. A time of regret and a time of...

Mazda recall cars due to spiders in fuel tank, more soon with price of petrol. 2
Ian Searle 3 years

As they are Mazda spiders they will take $600 each to replace...

Dismay as computer testing for Alzheimer's keeps asking 'What was the question?' 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Prince Andrew to pilot the next helicopter taking diplomats to Libya. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

"it's the ideal solution" explained William Hague. "If anything goes wrong, as seems highly likely, it will solve the problem of getting him to stand down from his present job, whatever that is."...

Cameron vows to defeat "Enemies Of Enterprise" Klingons say they will fight on 8
Ian Searle 3 years
Milliband exempt from census - due to lack of personality 0
wolfie 3 years

Ed google-eyes Milliband, born from experiments to clone Tony Blair with Plankton, has been excused from the census. One official said "Our job is to collect data on everyone in the country, however...

"Facebook adds suicide help system" 1
Iscariot 3 years

I kid you not. Quick before someone at the Beeb spots it and changes it: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/ the headline is item 5 on Most Popular on the RHS...

John Prescott To Read The Shipping Forecast On 'Red Nose Day' 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.But leaving out 'Scilly Automatic' for the Tories to read, "as it's right up their street", says John...