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Church reform: all sex scandals to involve adult heterosexuals by 2025 0
sydalg 03.03.13 10:41pm
"One's 'twos' are like One's 'ones'"

God I can pour this rubbish out...

Perks 03.03.13 10:32pm
Cardinal Keith O'Brien using platform to brag about "sexual conquests"

Earlier today Cardinal Keith O'Brien used his public platform to brag about his past conquests, he took to the microphone and said the following "I wish to take this opportunity to admit that there...

confuzzled 03.03.13 10:26pm
Chinese tourist disappointed in visit to Finland 0
Dick Everyman 03.03.13 9:34pm
Dick Everyman
Prince Charles recommends arsenic as cure for gastroenteritis 0
roybland 03.03.13 9:06pm
Cameron denies party 'lurching towards the Reich' 3
tedweasel 03.03.13 9:04pm
Dick Everyman
Queen's Jedwood tattoo on bum sees doctors 'Aghast around her right arse' cheek

Shoot me now...

Perks 03.03.13 8:43pm
PM heaps praises on costly back-2-work scheme

The PM congratulated his Ministers on the successes of the, much-publicised return to work programs, designed to help the long-term unemployed, those changing their skill-set, some of which have...

hero2zero 03.03.13 8:42pm
Royal watchers concerned about Puke of Edinburgh 5
nickb 03.03.13 8:39pm
Tess Goes
Sir Ranulph Fiennes - Antartic Challenge was to 'qualify for disability benefit' 1
custard cream 03.03.13 7:59pm
New Emirates statue inspired by Arsenal defence 0
custard cream 03.03.13 7:59pm
custard cream
Duke admits Queen 'Suffering from Delhi Belly' 1
antharrison 03.03.13 7:45pm
She wants a boyfriend, and who won't do it (?), we ask

A poor lass in one part of the country can't, she says, get a boyfriend, and is tying to. Jennifer Blatsford of Stoke has been on the hunt for a man for 16 weeks - ! - and has gone through it all. ...

Mik Bulk 03.03.13 7:39pm
Mik Bulk
Rome might replace celibacy with “halibucy”

Catholic priests could in future be required to swear an oath that forbids the consumption of halibut, according to an experimental policy suggested by a small cohort of cardinals who could...

nickb 03.03.13 7:18pm
Queen hospital latest - palace rule out pregnancy 0
Perks 03.03.13 7:11pm
Benitez to become interim Pope 0
Sherlockhouse 03.03.13 6:36pm
Prince Charming arrested in Operation Yewtree

Prince Charming today became the latest high profile figure to be arrested by officers working on cases of historic sexual abuse. It is believed that Mr Charming is accused of two counts of sexual...

Sherlockhouse 03.03.13 6:26pm
Defence secretary says poor people must do more to help kill poor people

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond says that poor people in Britain should do more to help to kill poor people in other countries by taking a cut in their welfare benefits. 'We have to look at the...

roybland 03.03.13 5:54pm
Sinkhole victim 'embarrassed' moments before ground opened up and swallowed him 5
Idiot 03.03.13 5:26pm
Obama and Boehner to fight in Epic Lightsaber Duel

U.S. President Barack Obama is to fight leading House Republican John Boehner in "an epic lightsaber duel," to resolve the ongoing budget impasse once and for all, a White House spokesman has...

K.J. Shine 03.03.13 3:48pm
Obama and Boehner in Epic Lightsaber Battle pledge. More soon

Obama and Boehner in Epic Lightsaber Battle pledge. More soon...

K.J. Shine 03.03.13 1:09pm
K.J. Shine
Pantomime horse found to be 87% human. 0
the coarse whisperer 03.03.13 11:28am
the coarse whisperer
Huge latex prayer dome to be erected in honour of departing Pope

The Vatican has announced that a huge latex prayer dome is to be erected in St Peter’s Square in honour of Pope Benedict XVI. The latex prayer dome is expected to be the first of many throughout...

Yikes 03.03.13 9:02am
Amazon unveil new 'Rape' line

After the recent controversy over the sale of t-shirts bearing the slogan 'Keep Calm and Rape Often', online retailer Amazon have shocked and disgusted many by revealing that his is only a taster of...

WatcherMark 03.03.13 2:55am
Pippa Middleton discovers true vocation as new arse of Anusol 0
pere floza 03.03.13 1:36am
pere floza
Italian coastguard's warning of a big sheep in the water blamed for disaster 4
Dick Everyman 03.03.13 12:09am
Dick Everyman
Trendy restaurant introduces new menu item, "The unpronounceable" 0
Dumbnews 02.03.13 11:51pm
Man sent on Mars mission comes back with Crunchie 12
nickb 02.03.13 11:37pm
Dick Everyman
Quorn brings out new line of 'horse-style' pieces

Purveyors of meat-free fungus-based products, Quorn, have announced their new range of 'horse style' pieces. A spokesperson for the company said, "At Quorn we are constantly looking for new and...

Paulduckula 02.03.13 11:36pm
Doctors expect the Queen to be on the throne for at least another three days 3
Stan 02.03.13 11:27pm