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Man who caught disease from large military ship thinks it was probably a carrier 0
Smart Alex 3 years
B&Q to enter healthcare market with DIY surgery kits 0
Nails UK 3 years

Released alongside a set of useful "How To" leaflets in a variety of languages...

Shops blackmailed as man threatens to cross out suffocation warnings on bags 0
Smart Alex 3 years
Shock result as woman's ashes voted in as new Mayor of London 0
Nails UK 3 years

Boris Johnson last night said he was "shocked and astounded" at the news that the new Mayor of London was the late Mrs Doris Gruntly. Mrs Gruntly, an independent candidate from Tottenham, died last...

US soldier guns down Afghan civilians "To save our busy Pilots the bother" 0
dvo4fun 3 years

more later...

2 dead as pilot mishears instruction as 'land plane on brazilian hair strip' 1
Perks 3 years
Mother delights grown-up children with stories of food bargains 12
bonjonelson 3 years

Proving the saying "a penny saved is a story to be told", Redhill resident Mary Kennedy has been delighting her grown-up children with stories of special offers and food bargains every time they have...

Man who steals horse/donkey hybrids diagnosed with ass-burglars syndrome. 2
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

Inspired by Mr. Manley’s fine effort...

Sexually sublimated underwear manufacturer makes Freudian slip 6
beau-jolly 3 years

(That's when you mean to say one thing but say your mother)...

Scientists discover a parent 'made of money' growing on trees 0
Perks 3 years
Boy with Big Mac stuck up his backside diagnosed with ass-burgers syndrome. 14
Haywood Manley 3 years

Sorry about that. At least I didn't put Whopper...

Lib Dems vote in favour of pledge not to embarrass Nick Clegg anymore. 0
3 years
Fears 'The Wizard of Oz' may be forced to close over Nick Clegg's Typhoon Tax 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Friends of Dorothy disrought...

Ken Dodd admits 'Tears for Souvenirs' failed to attract holiday makers. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Jonny Vegas and Monkey offer support for Nick Clegg's Typhoo Tax 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Prince Harry keen to forge close links with Brazillians. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Boris Johnson to establish pushchair lanes 0
hughesroland 3 years
Masonic Order "undermined" by electric handshake shockers 2
Tom55 3 years

Mr. Nigel Ford, Grand Exhibitor of the Masonic Order, today claimed that lighthearted use of electric shockers by younger Masons was undermining the treasured position of the order in British life.,...

David Cameron to speed up adoption process for Nick Clegg 2
Ludicity 3 years

The prime minister has vowed to tackle ‘absurd barriers to mixed-party adoption’ as he sets out proposals to fast-track Nick Clegg into the Conservative home. ‘Nick has been with us now for...

Drew Brees tired of being unappreciated, decides to appreciate himself. 14
Brian Malloy 3 years
‘Radicalised agnostics’ threaten to derail Middle-East war process 9
3 years

A group of radical agnostics are threatening to undermine the glorious battle that awaits the holy lands, and prevent millions of martyrs from fulfilling their destiny. Renounced by proper atheists...

Disco inferno singer to be cremated. Predictably. 1
MADJEZ 3 years
Discovery of 13th Century indigestion tablets is proof of "early settlers". 6
seymour totti 3 years
Sarkozy dit: ‘Come to France pour une bon holiday et après, bugger off’ 11
3 years

Bonjour tout le monde! Exceptez those of you qui est une touché trop foreign. Why not consideréz une holiday ici, avec tout your monet? Les Francais est tres friendly if vous wear une beret et...

House builder goes to the wall. More soon. 2
ianrbland 3 years
Cardboard cutout convention falls flat 1
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years
Lib Dems plan to target murderous psychopaths with Manson Tax 2
Skylarking 3 years
Apple's new cosmetics app - the iBrowpencil 1
Rootin Tootin 3 years

Its my first attempt...

Viewers thrown into turmoil over which shit to not watch. 4
Haywood Manley 3 years

Reacting to news that ITV's annual celebration of borderline mental illness "Britain's Got Talent" will be aired at the same time as the BBC's new flagship affront to humanity "The Voice UK", many...

'Febreze for tents' masks stench of outdoors with fug of damp council flats 5
3 years

Febreze has launched a new air freshener, aimed at campers who are fed up with stench of the countryside. Available in a range of excitingly familiar odours, ‘Febreze Urbane’ masks even the...