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Ice-breaker sent to save ice-breaker sent to rescue ice-breaker sent to ...

Many more soon...

0
Sinnick 03.01.14 10:34pm
Sinnick
Fatarsed Nazi Griffin declared as "Rump bank" 0
antharrison 03.01.14 10:21pm
antharrison
Cheshire couple celebrate record "Dryuanry" abstinence with a few whiskies

Blasting their previous record into insignificance, Cheshire couple Andy and Daphne Harries, announced they had managed to uphold their pledge to not drink any alcohol until their neices's wedding in...

0
antharrison 03.01.14 10:06pm
antharrison
Weather presenters ordered to stop humming the theme from Jaws 2
Squudge 03.01.14 9:35pm
sponge finger
Nick Griffin asks "Is it 'cause I is no longer in the blik?" 0
Squudge 03.01.14 9:31pm
Squudge
Bulgaria & Romania Now Fear Flood Of Immigrant Bankrupt Politicians From The UK 0
Titus 03.01.14 8:26pm
Titus
Uni Lads to allow women join 'the banter' by 2018

In a historical break in Uni Lad orthodoxy, women are expected to be allowed join 'the banter' by 2018. The controversial decision, proposed by Uni Lad leader FifaLegend95, said they would review...

0
David K 03.01.14 6:45pm
David K
Man who killed his twin was trying to commit suicide, says lawyer. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.01.14 6:04pm
dominic_mcg
Isle of Wight to relax rules on “special” herb teas

They have names like ‘Sleepy Time,’ ‘Camomile Calm', and 'Lemon Grass Soother' and yesterday hundreds queued in Shanklin, Ryde and Cowes to buy them legally for the first time. The Isle...

8
nickb 03.01.14 5:58pm
Squudge
Cabinet papers reveal Thatcher 'hoarded' biscuits

While reports that the then-PM Margaret Thatcher spent the 80s demonizing mineworkers, the real shock has been the leaked accounts of her unsavoury management of cabinet meetings. Not only did she...

4
Wrenfoe 03.01.14 5:55pm
Squudge
Singer P J Proby Condemned For "Rubbish" Edition Of BBC Programme

Hard-of-hearing grandmother Alison Leadbetter has been outspoken in her criticism of a recent guest edition of BBC Radio Four's [i]Today[/i] programme. "Even I know that he's an aged American...

0
Titus 03.01.14 5:32pm
Titus
Home Office introduce £10 charge for committing crimes

The Home Office hope to reduce pressure on the legal system by introducing a £10 charge to commit crimes. Officials hope to discourage the "half-hearted criminal"...

0
apepper 03.01.14 4:31pm
apepper
"Economies must shrink by 7% per year to sustain progress", says economist 0
Dumbnews 03.01.14 3:27pm
Dumbnews
Concern for Gary Barlow's ego grows after no TV appearances for 48 hours 0
Plot126 03.01.14 3:01pm
Plot126
Bulgarian & Romanians can come to help with flood. Cheaper than sandbags, UKIP. 0
MADJEZ 03.01.14 1:35pm
MADJEZ
Blackpool prom covered in disgusting effluent. Storm not to blame. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 03.01.14 1:23pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Sudan Sends Relief Aid To Britain Following Storms 0
Titus 03.01.14 1:21pm
Titus
Calls For Roof Over Heathrow After Flights Delayed By Rain And Gales 0
Titus 03.01.14 1:17pm
Titus
Nick Griffin 'no longer in the black' 0
Gerontius 03.01.14 1:12pm
Gerontius
Storms Apparently Worsen As News Sound Crews Remove Microphone Wind Shields 0
Titus 03.01.14 1:11pm
Titus
Latest Environmental News: Luton Evacuated

"We haven't been particularly affected by the storms" explained one depressed householder "This is just a crap place to live."...

0
Titus 03.01.14 1:08pm
Titus
'We Need Fewer Carrier Bags And More Dimwatted Lamp Bulbs To Stop Storms'

said the Friends of Green Earthpiece yesterday. "This is that climate change we kept warning everybody would happen. If we recycled a few more yoghurt pots and put up a few more windmills and solar...

0
Titus 03.01.14 12:50pm
Titus
BNP leader Nick Griffin declared a C***.

[url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-25590155]Griffin Declared Bankrupt.[/url] That is all...

1
MADJEZ 03.01.14 12:38pm
Titus
'Homeless and destitute are nearly all British' says a relieved PM

Immigration Minister Mark Harper has calmed Tory nerves with the news that nearly all the destitute and homeless beggars found huddled in doorways on New Year’s Day were British and not from...

5
Gerontius 03.01.14 12:30pm
Titus
Celebrities must pay £5 to enter reality TV shows

There are calls today to begin levying a £5 charge on celebrities presenting themselves at a reality TV show, in an attempt to curb the chronic overcrowding of the system which is crippling services...

1
NewBiscuit 03.01.14 11:23am
ゴルゴ13
Abattoir workers asked to remove 'blindfolds'

Horse meat scandals in the UK and the contamination of donkey meat with fox in the US, has led to calls for a cessation of centuries of slaughterhouse practice. Workers will now be required to...

1
Wrenfoe 03.01.14 10:24am
Oxbridge
Met Office forced to issue ASBO

In the light of the latest storm over the holiday period, the Met Office has finally issued its first ASBO of the millenium. A spokesman explained "We have issued severe weather warning after severe...

9
Squudge 03.01.14 10:16am
Squudge
Britain 'superior' by 2073

The UK will be superior to its European neighbours within the next 59 years, according to a report from an 'influential' and 'independent' think-tank. The report, 'Britain: Yea!', shows conclusively...

2
monkeyrepublic 03.01.14 9:25am
monkeyrepublic
Journalist Reports "Bang on time, high tide arrived at 7:00am this morning"

(Actual statement from BBC reporter this morning) So: 'Shock As Tide Arrives At Exactly The Same Time As Normal Despite Massive Storms'...

0
Titus 03.01.14 8:17am
Titus
"If it wasn't shared on facebook, did it happen?", asks Philosopher 3
Dumbnews 03.01.14 8:09am
Sinnick