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Pub profits soar as ban on 'verbal' bear baiting is lifted 7
3 years

Publicans are witnessing a return to profitability, thanks to the ban on bear baiting being lifted. Pub landlords have long blamed the ban for a decline in custom, but new guidelines have brought the...

Scots scientist admits deep frying Mars probe. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Church forgets Remembrance Sunday 0
Immunis 3 years

'What, with all the tents outside and the dean leaving, the fact that we needed to hold a Remembrance Sunday service completely slipped my mind' said Dr Richard Chartres, the Bishop of London. More...

Naming rights to Mike Ashley won by consortium of Newcastle Fans 3
reforse 3 years
Pensioner, 69, has sex swap on NHS and immediately extends life expectancy. 2
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Donna, formerly Donald from Marblethorpe, was also expected to reclaim 5 extra years of pension backpay...

Tech giants race to create solutions to problems that don't exist 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Italians deny pandering to comedians as Monty Python forms government 0
apepper 3 years

Monty Python is to form the next Italian government after a frantic weekend of negotiation and remininceses by officials. "It's been a tough weekend", said a spokesman, "but I think we have the...

Barbie sacked by Mattel following claim that Kaye Bray is a role model 0
medici2471 3 years
Job Centre Plus renamed SportDirect.Jobs as both share the same customers 2
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Full details to follow...

Cameleon shows his true colours and admits he never believed in Karma. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

He didn't want to come and go either....

Police on look out for ‘heartless’ metal thieves 1
Gerontius 3 years

Police in LA are investigating the disappearance of an Emerald City man who they fear may have been the target of local metal thieves., The man, believed to live in an apartment above the Rainbow...

Old Unmentionables getting smaller in number 0
Drylaw 3 years

"Yes, every year takes away some of our old brigade it's true," says Les Squair, former Major in the Latrines Regiment - or Old Unmentionables as they have always been known. Les and what's left of...

Scots Hail England as new World and European Champions 2
Mathna 3 years

In line with their insistence that they became World Champions in 1967 by beating the then holders England, Scottish Football fans were united in hailing England as both World and European winners...

BBC cuts - 2010 Remembrance Day broadcast repeated 0
medici2471 3 years
Afghan Poppy Exports up on last year 0
Drylaw 3 years
Smart car downgraded to dumb after failing tests 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Movember participant's moustache survives close shave 0
kga6 3 years
Isle of Wight leaves single British currency. Residents stockpile shiny pebbles. 2
dominic_mcg 3 years
Libyan pest control reopens as NATO lift No-Fly Zone 2
Perks 3 years
Survey shows most wives prefer to stay home and whinge about not going on 3
Nick McCarr 3 years

holiday to an actual holiday...

Berlusconi's last decree before resignation, all lamp-posts removed. More Soon 0
reforse 3 years
Liverpool to replace Syria in Arab League. 0
Zen 3 years

At last a chance of winning a league,say's Dalglish following his failure to win 10,000 leagues under the Sea...

Papasmurf leads early betting for next Greek PM 5
Immunis 3 years

With Papandreou recently resigned and Papademos taking control of a temporary government of unity. William Hill are saying that the early money for Greece's next elected Prime Minister is going on...

Derby residents confiscate Christmas lights to prevent November switch on 0
kga6 3 years

A group of residents from the city of Derby have today admitted to confiscating the city's Christmas lights to prevent the planned November 19th switch on. The date, a full 36 days before Christmas,...

John Terry calls Fabregas a 'foriegn C**t' as spanish becomes the new black 1
Perks 3 years
Britains 'Next Still Life Model' signs promotion deal for Tesco *Finest range. 4
Bryan with a Y 3 years

The 'Meat&2Veg' range to be in shops before Christmas...

Testicle bite woman's relief, "It's been hanging over me for a long time" 5
medici2471 3 years
Pyramid Closed For Maintenance 0
moggies 3 years

The Great Pyramid in Egypt was closed Friday, 11/11/11, because it was in need of maintenance. There were concerns that some groups would try to perform magic rituals there due to the unusual date,...

Coronation Street shock as Gary Barlow revealed as Ken's illegitimate son. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Boring X-Factor anecdotes give secret away...

Vodafone to pay 'token tax bill' on 30th November 4
dvo4fun 3 years

Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs have settled a long standing grumble with off-shore tax avoidance and mobile telephone merchants Vodafone. HMRCs David Hartnett has agreed that Vodaphone will pay...