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Ed Balls gets new position as piano player in Last Chance Saloon 0
ronseal 04.06.13 8:51am
ronseal
Catherine Zeta Jones: "It works both ways dear."

No oral soon...

4
The All New Jeni B 04.06.13 8:26am
The All New Jeni B
Prince Charles calls for more research into causes of female longevity 4
sydalg 04.06.13 8:17am
Titus
David Cameron: How to deal with a home emergency

The following manuscript has just been discovered at 11 Downing Street: This morning, my wife SamCam came to tell me that there was a leak in the ceiling, and that it was coming from the bathroom....

0
John Wiltshire 04.06.13 7:59am
John Wiltshire
Paedophile to be awarded CBE under "Equal rights" legislation

Martin Rogers, a 76 year-old convicted paedophile, is to be awarded a CBE by Buckingham Palace to bring him into line with the enormous number of famous child predators and sex attackers who have...

2
antharrison 04.06.13 7:05am
Bogbrush
Britain to send arms to Murder Dem Batty Boy gang in bid to end the war on drugs

Britain is to extend its policy of arms dealer diplomacy to its own War on Drugs, in a move that will see Cruise Missiles supplied to the Murder Dem Batty Boys gang in Croydon. Arming one side, it is...

4
ronseal 04.06.13 6:10am
ronseal
Dental dams 'unpopular' with some beavers, claim 0
Dick Everyman 04.06.13 5:40am
Dick Everyman
As Jesus signs for Man City, God himself returns to manage Chelsea 0
irreverendJ 04.06.13 5:37am
irreverendJ
UKIP 50% Poll shocker

The latest poll from pollsters, Pubchat, puts UKIP on an amazing 50%. Labour and Conservatives polled 25% each, whilst the LibDems failed to register any interest from anyone., Tim Spoons, Pubchat...

0
04.06.13 2:50am
Samantha Johnson perplexed at affair claims

Samantha Johnson, barmaid at the Five and Duck pub, 10 Downton Street, Axminster, was shocked when she heard her name was being linked on Twitter with chairman of the darts team and local lascivious,...

0
04.06.13 2:35am
Make your PC faster after downloading 6 hours worth of files 0
Dumbnews 04.06.13 1:16am
Dumbnews
Taser best way to deal with pre-teen Scousers, admits Deputy Chief Constable

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-22755908...

0
Arthur 04.06.13 12:58am
Arthur
UK economy in collapse after Mervyn King forgets bank account password

[Dictated by Arthur and posted in his absence]...

1
Arthur 04.06.13 12:15am
Arthur
Zeta Jones speaks out against same sex marriage. Wants more variety. More soon 0
Coco 03.06.13 11:32pm
Coco
Church of Scotland minister "has been marrying couples with skirts for years"

"I'd learned that the groom is the one with a dagger in his stocking," explained the Reverend Minister, "although the bride will often pull a knife on me too. It's all very confusing." [This is...

0
Arthur 03.06.13 10:12pm
Arthur
Supreme Court rules that your first born child can be taken after arrest.

Your first-born child can be taken from you under a routine arrest, the US Supreme Court ruled on Monday. ‘This is no different than sizing drugs or weapons during a raid. The police need that...

0
Hooch 03.06.13 9:37pm
Hooch
Daily Mail medical researchers "vindicated at last"

"Doubted for years by The Internet "...

0
Dingodile 03.06.13 9:31pm
Dingodile
Rare sightings of strange yellow orbs is the Sun, assure astronomers - 2 50
Dick Everyman 03.06.13 9:17pm
Idiot
Army Intelligence Officer who chose the password "Foe" is shot dead

[Dictated by Arthur and posted in his absence]...

2
Arthur 03.06.13 9:13pm
Arthur
Anti-cancer activists call for password-only access to vaginas

[url=http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=62039]Neat-O[/url]...

2
sydalg 03.06.13 9:09pm
Arthur
Mourinho pledges to stick to Benitez's spending plans 0
BAJDixon 03.06.13 9:03pm
BAJDixon
Prince hacks his way into castle by using Pa's sword 1
Smart Alex 03.06.13 9:02pm
Arthur
Reese Witherspoon to open first motorway pub

(more later)...

0
Wrenfoe 03.06.13 8:52pm
Wrenfoe
Michael Douglas outstays his 'Welcome in the Valley' 0
Dick Everyman 03.06.13 8:48pm
Dick Everyman
Contrite cannibal regrets basted youth. 4
sredni vashta 03.06.13 8:32pm
AReader
Vaginas to carry health warning & be sold only in plain white pants. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.06.13 8:00pm
dominic_mcg
NewsBiscuit contributor lands top executive job

Fred Trugweaver, known to NewsBiscuit fans by his pseudonym [i]Farcical_Fred477[/i], was today awarded a seven-figure annual salary by the BBC. "I was thrilled to bits," said Fred. "All I'd done was...

1
Arthur 03.06.13 6:31pm
Dick Everyman
Civil unrest blamed on shortage of Turkish Delight 3
Dick Everyman 03.06.13 6:28pm
Dick Everyman
"You and your big mouth", says Catherine Zeta-Jones 3
sydalg 03.06.13 5:47pm
topfotogmw
'Cancer caused by cunnilingus', says Douglas 'but I've licked it now' 0
topfotogmw 03.06.13 5:42pm
topfotogmw