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# prayforramsay 0
Rootin Tootin 3 years
UK Toffs Come 2nd Last to Norway in 2012 Redneck Games 0
daneade 3 years

The UK has suffered fresh embarrassment following the Eurovision humiliation with a 25th placing in the 2012 Redneck Olympics. The team selection process was slammed as the UK’s team – made up...

TV makers in chaos as God introduces fourth dimension 5
apepper 3 years

Manufacturers of 3D televisions are trying to react to the sudden introduction of a fourth dimension. "Special glasses just won't cut it, people will need new brains installed - but it's well worth...

Mollusk with extreme military background set to take part in Paralimpets 0
Underconstruction 3 years
GM crop protestor wants to become cereal killer 0
Underconstruction 3 years
Olymics committee sues molecule for copyright infringement 0
C3-PO 3 years

LOCOG has been granted an injunction at the high court against the so-called Olympicine molecule for its continued existence. The five-ringed molecule has been impounded by court bailiffs, and is...

'Heartless' Cheryl Cole slammed for refusing dying fan a hand job 12
Oxbridge 3 years

As he fought his last battle with bowel cancer, 57-year-old Swindon accounts manager Raymond Carruthers always knew what his last wish was for: 'I want a hand job off Cheryl Cole. That would be the...

Local council installs tramp after clerical error 0
Underconstruction 3 years

Disabled and elderly residents of a small West Midlands town have reacted angrily, following the installation of a tramp outside their local library., Wheelchair user Jack Payne had campaigned for...

Million pound fire at super discounter causes 300,000 pounds worth of damage. 0
Maverick 3 years
Oldham resident in narrow escape; emigrates to Australia. 0
Maverick 3 years
New safety fears raised over GM crops after modified wheat attacks protestors 4
Gary Stanton 3 years

The long-term viability of genetically-modified crops has been called into question after members of the anti-GM group Take The Flour Back were viciously assaulted by roaming wheat columns larger...

German tourists "could be given smaller towels" warn Greek hoteliers. 1
nickb 3 years
Inventor of TV remote revived by rolling batteries around a bit 11
charlies_hat 3 years
Blatter wants penalty alternative after English team victorious again 1
Andy_K 3 years

(inspired by [url=]this bbc article[/url]) Fifa president Sepp Blatter has asked Bayern Munich honorary president Franz Beckenbauer to come up with an...

Baroness Warsi hopeful of avoiding stoning over expenses scandal 0
roybland 3 years
Disillusioned Instructor Washes Her Hands of Pilates 5
Iggy Pop-Barker 3 years

More to follow...

Archaeologists discover banjo in neolithic burial site. More soon. 3
Al OPecia 3 years

I wonder if there is any more than a ticker to this?...

Tracey Emin exhibits another load of old bollocks 1
roybland 3 years

Artist Tracey Emin's latest collection of old bollocks has been exhibited on Sunday's Andrew Marr show on BBC1. 'It was another brilliant exhibition of Tracey's unique talent for talking complete...

Spotty underachiever identifies oxymoron. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
As compromise prisoners are to be given right to vote in Eurovision Song Contest 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Advert: From the makers of Botox - Bollox for men– for no-wrinkle nuts. 0
weematt 3 years

You know that taking the lines away from your face makes you look and feel younger but men, what about those give away nutsack wrinkles? Always wanted a smooth pairdrop but stuck with a serrated...

Humper-stinks claim rest of Europe (and Israel). 0
MADJEZ 3 years

No more soon please...

Insufficient little boxes on Eurovision voting form claims Humperdink ... 0
Kramaring 3 years

No more croon...

G8 Summit blame game as financial crisis lurches from subprime to ridicule US 0
Yikes 3 years

After a week of stalemate following the G8 Summit, the eight leaders have decided to pin all the blame for the financial crisis on George W Bush as they launched the so-called “war on error”....

Comedy writers fury at Catholic Church 0
apepper 3 years

Comedy writers are expressing outrage at the behaviour of the Vatican. A spokesman explained, "We think of something silly for comedic affect only for the Vatican to do it, and then go even further....

Male contraceptive pill "too late for Jeremy Clarkson's father" 0
apepper 3 years

Scientists have successfully developed a male "pill". "Obviously, this could be a huge breakthrough in population control.", explained one doctor, "But sadly too late to prevent some calamities."...

Tim Cook, Apple's CEO, 'f***ing furious' at reports he's not as scary as Jobs 0
roybland 3 years

Accusations that he's not as big a bastard as Steve Jobs has sent Apple's CEO Tim Cook into what Apple insiders are calling the scariest rage tsunami since Jobs beat the shit out of an erring Apple...

Leaders behind the breakup of Soviiet Union and former Slavic states... 0
Smart Alex 3 years

finally admit that it was all a callous attempt to secure more voting rights at Eurovision...

UK loses Eurovision, "somebody else's fault" says Cameron 0
ionb 3 years

As the UK's results in Eurovision slumped again, Cameron says "we've got a strong song, but unless Greece gets its act together then its nil points for us" Vince Cable retorted earlier this morning,...

Greece set to host 2013 Drachmavision contest 1
Skylarking 3 years