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Press frenzy as Pippa pistol-whips reporter with butt. 0
pinxit 3 years
Governmet orders urgent recall of all Ralph Fienne autographs 0
bananaman 3 years

The Government was on high alert yesterday after news broke that not all Ralph Fienne autographs may be authentic. The tip off came when actor Liam Neeson admitted people often mistake him for fellow...

100% of 15 Year Old Boys Have Had Sex 0
Hooch 3 years

A new government report to be published this afternoon has revealed that every 15 year old boy has had sex. The leader of the report, Lord Hanson said, ‘Most have had intercourse numerous times and...

BA: Bird strike forces Dagenham Ford factory to close. 0
woodymellor 3 years
George Osborne refuses to Gift Aid £10bn loan to the IMF 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Ambassador wives plea to Asma Assad: 'Stop outbidding us on ebay for Prada bags' 2
Skylarking 3 years
Family season ticket threat leads Norwich City FC to apologise to teenager 2
Not Amused 3 years

Norwich City FC withdrew their complaint against a teenager accused of hacking their website after his family threatened not to renew their season tickets., After checking the address on their fan...

Man Studying For a Masters Degree in Lancashire Finally Gets Aclaim 0
GillsImp 3 years

At the award the award ceremony he commented "I'm Morecambe and Wise"...

Ched Evans finally gets the gaol he was due 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Modest Abu Hamza insists: “Learning to play jazz sax required a lot of practice" 0
JJH88 3 years

http://sheikyermami.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/hamza3.jpg Sensational hook-handed saxophonist, Abu Hamza al-Masri gave his UK farewell performance last night, rounding off his sell-out...

Darth Vader admits bring your son to work day a "failure" 0
apepper 3 years

High ranking imperial official, Mr D. Vader has conceded that the recent bring your son to work day had unexpected side effects. "If I'd known he was going to attempt to kill my boss, I'd have...

Ecclestone: Kabul violence nothing to do with F1 0
Old Hat 3 years
Qatada to release range of his and hers fragrances 1
BAJDixon 3 years

The Home Secretary’s reputation took another battering today as it emerged fundamentalist bile-preacher Abu Qatada is to release a range of his and hers fragrances to the British market, developed...

May/Steve Miller release: 'Abu-Abu-Qatada, I want reach out and grab ya' 3
weematt 3 years

(To a tune not unlike Steve Miller's Abra-Abra-Cadabra) I mess up, I can't get it right, I find myself with quite a plight, This extradition is quite unreal, You've just made another appeal...

Scientists create artificial DNA; "royalty payments due from all living things" 0
apepper 3 years

The scientists that have created artificial DNA have claimed that royalty payments will be due from "any person, animal or plant making use of DNA for evolutionary purposes."...

Bahrain Grand Prix to go ahead, bar rain. 0
Haywood Manley 3 years
Iran getting picked-on in nuclear arms race 0
Old Hat 3 years

Iran’s mum has today issued a formal complaint to headmaster, Ban Ki-moon, over allegations that her son is being continually picked-on in nuclear arms races. Nuclear arms racing has been a...

Defendant sworn in on 'Politics for Dummies' in Aberdeen council case 2
cinquecento 3 years
Abu Hamza & Abu Qatada to star in Al Jazeera's Two Ronnie’s Tribute Night 5
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

A top executive at Al Jazzera has announced a tribute night is to take place in their new summer season to former Saturday night TV favourites the Two Ronnie’s, the shows include a sketch show...

X-Files to sponser new margarine called "I Want To Believe It's Not Butter" 1
seymour totti 3 years

Reaches for coat to exit in a hurry!...

Police hope new technology will improve dangerous driving conviction rate. 0
gaijintendo 3 years

The Nearshire Constabulary have found that video evidence has not improved their conviction rates, but actually hampered it. But road squad hope that a new addition to their cars will help convict...

Bert Weedon Dead 0
Bonaparte Shandy 3 years

Radiohead to play 30 minute freeform electronic jazz version of 'Bobby Shaftoe' at funeral...

Qatada Hands in Last Minute Note from Mum 0
oblongscone 3 years

Celebrity (alleged) terrorist Abu Qatada has handed in a note to Theresa May from his mother explaining she is withdrawing permission for him to visit Jordan. Home Secretary Mrs May promised today...

Protests threaten to make F1 race interesting 1
Lucy4 3 years
After a stuttering start, The King's Speech to close in West End. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
King's Speech play stutters to an early halt. Same old same old say critics. 0
weematt 3 years
Telco announces automated helpline for victims of automated cold calls 0
Clarky 3 years

An enterprising communications company has introduced a new phone service, aimed at those who never receive ‘real calls’ on their landlines, only automated ones. HassleComs International has...

Liverpool to Remember Pompei 3
Bonaparte Shandy 3 years

Following the successful act of rememberance of the Titanic disaster through 48 hours of giant-sized marionette dock-side puppetry, Liverpool city council are to commemorate the AD79 destruction of...

Government believed to have been using Diminished Reality App for 2 months. 0
weematt 3 years

augmentation later...

“I’m the best damn thang you eva had” Breivik tells court 0
Old Hat 3 years

Unhinged Caucasian rights activist and part-time Black Panther, Anders Breivik, has told the Norwegian court that he is “the best damn thang they [i]eva[/i] had”, in a prolonged outburst of...