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Dieters reduce food cravings playing Tetris and sex addicts cured by Angry Birds

Claim psychologists with nothing better to do...

1
Ian Searle 23.02.14 1:47pm
Al OPecia
Ukraine Power Vacuum to be replaced by Dyson

Opposition MPs were celebrating this week as they voted overwhelming to replace President Viktor Yanukovych with an upright model; which offers 'transparency', 'cleanness' and 'something less fiddly'...

7
Wrenfoe 23.02.14 12:19pm
Paddy Berzinski
Top Gear banned from visiting stable countries

The BBC motoring program Top Gear has been banned from filming in the worlds most peaceful and content countries after being blamed for violent uprisings that later occurred. Their infamous visit to...

1
Bigglesworth 23.02.14 11:42am
sydalg
Clegg swaps nearly every gag in the Lib Dem Manifesto for new ones

For next election fans of Nick Clegg's inept politician can enjoy a re-release of the Lib Dem Manifesto with nearly every gag from the original swapped out for new ones. Its official title will be...

0
Ian Searle 23.02.14 11:21am
Ian Searle
Dyslexic Scottish Nationalist takes garlic lessons. 1
godly1966 23.02.14 11:04am
sweary nan
Government 'gone'

The coalition government has disappeared, according to reports. Downing Street is reported to be deserted and Whitehall offices abandoned. 'The coalition government has gone,' tweeted one observer....

7
roybland 23.02.14 10:48am
Al OPecia
Ukrainians break into palace to discover 'It's the rich wot get the pleasure"

More pain soon...

0
vulture1 23.02.14 10:46am
vulture1
Whats App goes off-line while spyware is added following sale to CIA

More bugs soon...

0
vulture1 23.02.14 10:43am
vulture1
Princess Leia hails Ukrainian protestors after release from death star

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/73162000/jpg/_73162936_ac2ebcdc-4141-4187-a29c-458f9f44c188.jpg Anyone?...

2
Bigglesworth 23.02.14 10:33am
MADJEZ
New Scottish currency confirmed as the Giro

Hat tip to Jimmydodger...

11
Squudge 23.02.14 10:29am
Crying Out Loud
Environment Agency to divert Thames down the Chunnel

In a move of breathtaking brilliance, the Community Secretary Eric Pickles today put down his pie and announced the initiative to save the Thames Valley from further flood damage. 'The Environment...

7
Squudge 23.02.14 10:23am
Crying Out Loud
Irish rugby player admits “You can’t win a maul”... 4
Tripod 23.02.14 9:48am
Tripod
The hills no longer alive with the sound of music. 0
irreverendJ 23.02.14 9:38am
irreverendJ
Long Awaited New U2 Album “Pay Your Share” To Be Released in April

In a surprise joint media conference in New York on Friday, activist Irish rock icon Bono and IRS chief John Koskinen announced U2’s latest release, timed to co-incide with the U.S. tax season....

0
Kinch 23.02.14 8:52am
Kinch
College of cardinals to be replaced by College of rationals

more number-related jokes soon...

0
Smart Alex 23.02.14 5:53am
Smart Alex
Schumacher still overqualified for job of wrestling commentator 0
sydalg 23.02.14 12:40am
sydalg
Scottish independence spreads to Ukraine as Tam O'Shanter takes over. 0
Maverick 22.02.14 11:18pm
Maverick
Technical Tips: how to install new cardinals

are your existing pontiffs looking a little tarnished? stubborn stains that refuse to go away? performance falling to less than the standards expected?, Time then to bring in some new shiny cassocks...

3
Robert Koch 22.02.14 10:31pm
Sinnick
Tymoshenko rushed out of prison for emergency hairdressing. 0
Electrelane 22.02.14 9:01pm
Electrelane
Brooks denies being a redhead, but admits to intimate ginger moments 8
Squudge 22.02.14 8:17pm
Squudge
Yanukovich not resigned "Just dictating from home."

Key to presidential palace under the mat. Bins go out on Tuesday. Sweep dissident treasonous scum out of main square Wednesdays and Fridays. More at 1...

2
blokefromstoke 22.02.14 7:37pm
AReader
Mexican drug lord Shorty Guzman looking forward to a long stretch. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.02.14 7:23pm
dominic_mcg
When they said ‘used car’ I thought they meant ‘used by Jimmy Carr’ jokes Moyles 0
farmer giles 22.02.14 7:10pm
farmer giles
Princess Anne insists all new housing must be built on Royal Estates.

Thought not...

0
FOAD 22.02.14 7:02pm
FOAD
Journalist who hacked phone says that he broke it in the process 0
Underconstruction 22.02.14 6:34pm
Underconstruction
Brooks "We had evidence Hugh Grant could launch within 45 seconds" 0
Ref Minor 22.02.14 6:26pm
Ref Minor
Royal Family Drafts Mary Berry in as replacement for Queen Mum

National treasure, Mary Berry, is said to be delighted today following an announcement by Buckingham Place that she is to be drafted into the Royal Family as a replacement for the Queen Mum. "Mary...

0
Duff 22.02.14 6:06pm
Duff
Customer suffers burns in "bottomless coffee" misunderstanding. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.02.14 5:39pm
dominic_mcg
Man admits how he replenished his wine cellar was 'add Hock' 0
Smart Alex 22.02.14 4:45pm
Smart Alex
Government 'gone'

The coalition government has disappeared, according to reports. Downing Street is reported to be deserted and Whitehall offices abandoned. 'The coalition government has gone,' tweeted one observer....

6
roybland 22.02.14 3:40pm
Not Amused