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Dale Farm declared World Heritage Site. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Yeates and boyfriend 'getting new cat' prior to murder. May orders inquiry. 1
GreenCross 3 years

- Really - the Guardian are quoting her friend in court as saying that they were getting a cat. Surely this demands an examination of her immigration status...

Cameron assured of easy passage for coin-operated public think tanks. 11
vertical 3 years

You may soon be seeing gleaming new high-tech cylindrical structures appearing on a high street near you. Coin-operated public think tanks (PTT's) are the latest innovation inspired by Mr Cameron's...

Excitable Israeli General bombs humous factory 0
SpankyMonkey 3 years
New Vice Comparison web site helps you choose between flawed energy ministers 0
ronseal 3 years

A new vice comparison web site could help the public shop around for new ministers if they are unsatisfied with the present encumbent, claim its founders. However, some critics say that choosing a...

Solicitors advise that travellers have now moved on. To the High Court car park 3
dvo4fun 3 years
Chris Huhne appointed minister of bleeding obvious 3
apepper 3 years

Following energy secretary Chris Huhne's suggestion that using less energy will reduce consumers' bills, Huhne has been appointed minister of the bleeding obvious. Huhne announced that his first job...

"Guns more fun than cars", says new Defence Secretary. 1
GreenCross 3 years

The new Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has welcomed the opportunity to tell people with guns what to do. Following Dr Liam Fox's resignation after being caught having having a friend that, when...

90% of new features for facebook come directly from stalkers 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Comics World In Shock As Archie Is Still Not Cancelled 4
Textbook 3 years

Comic fans around the world were astonished to find that new adventures of Archie Andrews are still being published on a monthly basis, leading to questions as to how this has happened when no one...

Authentic 1950's style Diner defends controversial segregation policy 3
charlies_hat 3 years
Nigerian Elderly Warned of Isle of Wight E-mail Scams 1
wwwiz 3 years

The Nigerian government has warned its elderly citizens about a rash of e-mail scams originating in the Isle of Wight. ‘Many of our honest Nigerian pensioners have lost their life savings, falling...

Missed out on the Booker shortlist? Write for newsbiscuit 0
Ironduke 3 years
Energy companies suggest checking other parties' policies 7
kga6 3 years

Major league players in the energy industry have ingratiatingly suggested that families that believe they are getting a rough deal out of the current Government's policies in cuts and subsistence...

UK credit rating linked to Wayne Rooney 3
Ralphy Snoops 3 years

Independent forecasters Ernst & Young have today linked the UK’s global credit rating to Wayne Rooney as long as he plays for a British football team and spends the majority of his salary in...

Dan Wheldon dies Indycar 3
SpankyMonkey 3 years
Dale Farm travellers ask to stay in Basildon; court accepts insanity plea 1
apepper 3 years

There were dramatic scenes in the high court when representatives of the Dale Farm travellers begged the judge to be allowed to stay in Basildon. Expert witness evidence from a clinical psychiatrist...

New iClone to create thousands of Jobs 1
JETFAB 3 years
Defence from Stage Hypnotist Kenny Craig swings Tomlinson Trial 0
GreenCross 3 years

During a hearing at Southwark Crown Court yesterday PC Simon Harwood's legal team bemused the courtroom with an unexpected defence against the charge of manslaughter. Harwood, who is accused of...

Huhne says spouses should 'adjust' gas and electricity meters this winter 0
roybland 3 years

Energy Secretary Chris Huhne has said that people should get their spouse to adjust their gas and electricity meters this winter.,  , He was speaking after his meeting with the six biggest energy...

Dr Evil in court over intruder death 2
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Douglas Powers, better known as international super-villain Dr Evil, is set to appear in court today to face charges over the alleged unlawful killing of a burglar at a hollowed out volcano, which...

Seseme Street launch "Big Birds" Youtube channel 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Porn Tube taken offline after hackers flood site with Sesame Street vidoes 1
thisisall1word 3 years

X-press Porn Tube, the adult video streaming site owned by Richard Desmond, has been taken down after hackers uploaded multiple clips of Sesame Street to the bongo file sharing site., Company...

Power Companies invite Cameron to OffFuck. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
90% of problems in life can be solved by raising chin up 0
Dumbnews 3 years
X-Factor ratings tumble as viewers "realise it's rubbish" 3
apepper 3 years

The new series of the X-Factor has had falling ratings; the main reason seems to be viewers having something better to do. "I've been sitting in a darkened room; I found that quite an...

Pythagoras' wife's lover killed whilst partaking in oral sex 2
simonjmr 3 years

"He died as he lived, eating a Pi." More soon...

Homoeopathic Economist Suggests Injecting "up to £1" into Economy 21
apepper 3 years

Doctor Stephen Harliton, the well known homoeopathic economist has calculated that £1 invested properly will completely cure the World economy. "The key is to find the correct dilution.", explained...

Teenage homeopath experiences hairy palms and blindness after mini-stroke 0
Runestone Cowboy 3 years
Sport - Channel 5 Manages to Offload Europa League 4
GreenCross 3 years

Management at Channel 5 were ecstatic this morning as they relieved themselves of overpriced mediocre European football. As ITV signed a 3-year deal to transmit footage of games no-one cares about,...