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DFS and FA announce two-year deal for England’s armchair critics 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Queen fears for increase incidence of "paint smell" during Jubilee year 2
simonjmr 3 years

After 60 years on the throne Queen Elizabeth II has today admitted that she has developed a phobia and allergic reaction to that "fresh paint smell" that seems to preceed her every visit. "It's got...

Richard O'Dwyer congratulates Abu Qatada 0
medici2471 3 years
'Dogging' - The New Entertainment..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.As the recession bites...

New Underwear Developed..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.To absorb those wicked leaks...

Cruise passenger: 'I know I ordered Scotch on the rocks, but this is ridiculous' 0
Scroat 3 years

The old ones are the best...

North Face recalls one million winter jackets 1
roybland 3 years

Manufacturer of outdoor clothing The North Face is recalling one million winter jackets over concerns that they could overheat in the unseasonably mild weather leading to their wearers being...

NHS to abolish 'satisfactory' condition status 0
Scroat 3 years

In future, patients will either be described as 'poorly' or 'on the mend.' Patients' groups condemned the move today as 'requiring improvement.'...

Nehmes Bastet to release comeback single 0
jp1885 3 years
Bank of England Quantitative Easing policy extended to printing of "I.O.U's". 1
seymour totti 3 years
Any patient in a satisfactory condition to be labelled ‘requires improvement' 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Inquiry as MoD’s axe procurement programme goes millions over-budget 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Rolling Stones release 'I can't get no Required Improvement' 0
charlies_hat 3 years
'I am black' says Nick Griffin 0
Samasaea 3 years

British National Party leader Nick Griffin claimed yesterday that his party should not be called racist as he himself is black. 'I can confirm that I am in fact a black man. How anyone can therefore...

Daily Mail Accuses Workshy Bakers of Loafing. 0
sredni vashta 3 years
Internet to become literate by 2013. 0
Boutros 3 years

As Waterstones prepares to eliminate punctuation from its brand, citing a need for "a more versatile and practical spelling in the digital world of URLs and email addresses", Internet boffins has...

Lost dissertation on 'mum and dad' (a case of missing parenthesis 1
kga6 3 years
They Get Younger Every Year 0
The Acacia Strain 3 years

Courtney Stodden, teen bride and certified attention whore went running today with her new security staff, and pointless pink dog. Captured on camera, the newest member of her staff looks like a 15...

Outrage as large dyke to be placed on Isle Of Lesbos 0
The Acacia Strain 3 years
Tourist who got food poisoning whilst in Hawaii, spending their days Honolulu 3
Iamthestig 3 years
Costa Cruises announce Birmingham-Zurich cruise route 0
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Falklands veteran reunited with downed pilot 'failed to kill him a second time' 12
3 years

A veteran soldier has offered a heart-felt apology, after being reunited with an Argentinian pilot he shot down during the Falklands conflict. Despite being given the chance to put thirty years of...

Good news for republicans as Costa Cruises win contract for new Royal Yatch. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Britain's greatest living artist to be preserved in formaldehyde 2
roybland 3 years

The man recently named as Britain's greatest living artist may be preserved in formaldehyde if the man regarded as Britain's greatest living conceptual artist gets his way. David Hockney (74), who...

Government puzzles how world's richest woman could obtain yacht 0
apepper 3 years

Government ministers are working around the clock to try and discover a way for the Queen to obtain a yacht. "It's a real dilemma.", said a spokesman. "Yachts are really expensive and only really...

BBC admits "the signs were there" over Worrall-Thompson 2
fun and games 3 years

BBC Executives have admitted to “failing to see the signs” after archive footage of disgraced chef Antony Worrall-Thompson was released, showing his appearances on Ready Steady Cook. Director...

Queen offered cheap new royal yacht by Italian cruise company 0
Smart Alex 3 years
Millionth Visitor to Newsbiscuit website wins a year's supply of Trojan Viruses 0
Mathna 3 years
Gove "I only said we should give the Queen a Jubbly this summer" 1
simonjmr 3 years
Soap industry collapses in a thickening sud. 3
Iscariot 3 years