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"I Ping, Therefore I Am" Says Wrecked Airliner

More soon, we all hope...

0
Titus 07.04.14 6:49am
Titus
Charles and the trees talk, Jack and the beans talk. 0
Maverick 07.04.14 4:12am
Maverick
Call for change to smell of gas as energy complaints reach record high

Ofgem have received several thousand complaints regarding the scent which is added to gas to alert consumers of its presence. In a recent survey, it was found that consumers would prefer a more...

0
Mork 07.04.14 1:25am
Mork
First Gay Marriage widower demands he be called a 'widowim'. 9
camz 06.04.14 9:59pm
Kevin the Swan
She’ll do whatever you want, while you watch: yes, it’s the Widdicam... 4
Tripod 06.04.14 9:56pm
Kevin the Swan
Culture Club exposed as Crazy Gang. 0
Ref Minor 06.04.14 9:43pm
Ref Minor
"We Only Found A Bright Orange Drum, Not A Black Box, So We Threw It Back" 0
Titus 06.04.14 8:41pm
Titus
Black box found. Ride on time....

I'll get my coat (and someone must have done this already)...

0
MADJEZ 06.04.14 8:29pm
MADJEZ
Bo Diddley “less diddley than first thought”, says new book. 1
nickb 06.04.14 6:49pm
BewsNiscuit
David Cameron blames his deputy, Nick Clegg, for absence of water in Sheffield!

The collapse of the Sheffield half Marathon was the fault of Nick Clegg whose constituency hosts the race, says the PM. LibDem policies can't keep the water flowing let alone keep the lights on say...

0
2escapees 06.04.14 6:02pm
2escapees
"Toaster,... iron, ...cuddly toy, ...P45....oh...". 1
Al OPecia 06.04.14 5:58pm
custard cream
Under pressure flasher vows to get a grip 0
custard cream 06.04.14 5:53pm
custard cream
Criminals to police themselves

The government is to introduce self-policing for criminals. Government spokesman, Maria Miller, explained; "The old saying is 'it takes a thief to catch a thief' and this measure is simply an...

5
apepper 06.04.14 5:28pm
Titus
Lifelong long life milk drinker dies, ‘disappointed’ aged 57.

Mike Smithers of Christchurch died a disillusioned man. According to his wife, he had made it a point only to drink Long Life Milk, steadfastly believing this would do what it said on the Tetrapak....

2
nickb 06.04.14 3:20pm
Squudge
'knights who say ping' , rediscovered in Indian Ocean, will appear, Python say 3
Not Amused 06.04.14 2:41pm
Al OPecia
Ukraine complains to Ofgem about difficulty of switching providers 6
Bigglesworth 06.04.14 1:06pm
Not Amused
Pornsite launched to cater for ‘elderly, unattractive virgin’ market: Widdicum 2
Tripod 06.04.14 1:03pm
Tripod
Culture Secretary blasted with Cameron's 'full confidence'

The Culture Secretary Maria Miller's position is said to be 'untenable' today after the Prime Minister was forced to express full confidence in her actions. The revelation occurred after Miller was...

4
Squudge 06.04.14 12:20pm
Kevin the Swan
Oxford / Cambridge race cancelled as course declared too waterlogged

Well done to the runners in Sheffield...

1
irreverendJ 06.04.14 12:18pm
Squudge
OED: surviving partner bereaved in gay marriage 'the widout' 8
Squudge 06.04.14 11:45am
Kevin the Swan
Murder detectives to be replaced by elite squad of dog walkers

The Rutland Constabulary today announced plans to scrap it's murder squad and replace the entire unit with a new elite team of men out walking dogs. With all police forces expected to find millions...

2
johnnydobbo 06.04.14 11:39am
Squudge
Miller To Await Statement Of 'Full Confidence' From PM Before Quitting

More of [i]The Miller's Tale[/i] soon...

3
Titus 06.04.14 8:42am
Squudge
Brucie to Foxtrot Oscar

It's all in the timing dear! Nice T've seen yer, T've seen yer NICE!...

6
BewsNiscuit 06.04.14 8:24am
FOAD
Afghan Election Result (Subject To confirmation):

Nick Clegg 0.01%, Nigel Farage 0.3%, Simon Cowell 25%, Vladimir Putin 99.9%, Kim Jong-un 200%, Robert Mugabe 500% Officials (who clearly know what's good for them) have accordingly declared Kim...

5
Titus 06.04.14 8:22am
Ironduke
Chinese ship finds ping, still looking for pong. 1
A.A.Arkwright 06.04.14 7:55am
BewsNiscuit
'Ping' In Indian Ocean Found To Be From Discarded Microwave Cooker 1
Titus 06.04.14 7:05am
Wrenfoe
DWP sub-contracts US Mafia to achieve ‘Full Employment’

Union leaders and other ‘something for nothing’ organisations have demanded that the government rethink its decision to employ the US Mafia at the DWP, as a tool to reach the Full Employment...

0
camz 06.04.14 12:25am
camz
No threats, but If this doesn't get 5 stars I'll refer NB to the Press Council

More intimidation later...

5
Titus 05.04.14 10:27pm
Sir Lupus
New Cull-inary Delight: Badger Stew 0
Titus 05.04.14 9:32pm
Titus
Chinese ship detects Ping. He's the cook.

Wong on many levels. Mr Ping - Kung Fu Panda. http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110704180913/kungfupanda/images/thumb/3/39/MrPingMain.jpg/300px-MrPingMain.jpg...

1
MADJEZ 05.04.14 9:29pm
Titus