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Following seafood dinner, Martin Luther King tells reporters, "I had a bream" 2
Smart Alex 3 years
Foreigner wins Wimbledon. 3
Thor 3 years

A humourless foreign man (insert name as appropriate) from a beautiful mountainous land populated by surly, insular people will win the Wimbledon tennis championship tomorrow. The man, famous for...

George Osborne working on a Mona Lisa smile 0
roybland 3 years

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne is practising a Mona Lisa smile to court popularity after a series of U-turns following his March Budget. Osborne's recent clash with Ed Balls at Prime...

Agronomists puzzled by surge in sales of Defra manual, Fifty Grades of Hay 1
V Riddoch 3 years
Scottish Independence to be decided on Centre Court 1
Ironduke 3 years
Olympic torch bearers issued with new 'British Summer' clothing. 3
MADJEZ 3 years

After complaints from runners and their Police escorts about doing the relay in shorts and t-shirts Olympic organisers have been forced to issue more suitable clothing....

Isle of Wight councillors to get Psion Organisers. 0
nickb 3 years
Accusations of dumbing down as Olympics introduce "It's a knockout" events 2
apepper 3 years

Sebastian Coe has defended the decision of the UK Olympic board to insist that athletic finalists dress as national vegetables for their races. Speaking in a moose costume, Lord Coe explained: "We...

Santander British Grand Prix - Sponsored by the EU bailout fund. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
"I love Barclays tattooed on Diamond's penis" claim 4
Scroat 3 years

A leaked expenses slip this week revealed that former Barclays chief Bob Diamond had the tattoo job done at an exclusive City parlour. Friends and former colleagues were keeping a low profile today,...

Commercial space launch delayed by row over cabin crew support tights. 0
nickb 3 years

Female cabin crew working for Richard Branson have refused to wear support tights in space, prompting fears that the first commercial space flights could be delayed for months if not years. ...

F1 Dilemma: Will McLaren Switch Button From Wets To 'Jets'? 2
3 years

McLaren engineers played a surprise 'ace' this morning and revealed that Jenson Button could be on revolutionary 'Jet Ski' tyres for Sunday's British Grand Prix. With waterlogged Silverstone awash...

C4 Wales launches "Strictly" rival "Cwm Dancing". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Gay Bolt are two athletes, not an insult Olympic report confirms 0
custard cream 3 years
Western Europe's largest phallic symbol 'The Shard 'n' Freud' opened 8
Skylarking 3 years
Barclays CEO rescues six kittens from a bin; takes them to kid’s cancer ward 13
Yikes 3 years

“It’s what anyone would do” said Barclays CEO Bob Diamond after leaping in front of a rubbish truck to save six kittens discarded in a bin. “It was lucky I was out there sorting my recycling...

Al Qaeda claims "operation drain block" a total success. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Scottish opposition routed as Murray and Federer reach Wimbledon final 1
Yikes 3 years

British player Andy Murray and Swiss maestro Roger Federer will contest the Wimbledon final after having easy wins against Scottish players Novak Djokovic and Jo-Wilfried Tsonga in the semi-finals....

Federer promises to "do his bit" for Scottish Independence 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Libor to be renamed Lie-Bar. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

More soon. Bit late, I've been busy...

English girl's pet Scot through to Wimbledon final 0
3 years
George W. Bush Accepts Position As Court Jester For Obama Cabinet 0
3 years
Fifty shades of grey published in pop-up version 0
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

George W. Bush Accepts Position As Court Jester For Obama Cabinet 0
3 years

George W. was accepted on as the official court Jester for the Obama cabinet today. Appearing before the assembled advisers for the first time, W. had them suppressing giggles as soon as he opened...

Murray pleased for Marray 0
custard cream 3 years
Rangers to seek entry to Quidditch League Northern Muggle Divison 3 0
custard cream 3 years
Government Transparency Unit "disappears". 0
nickb 3 years
David Dimbleby Joins Sex Pistols 1
@spinal_bap 3 years

Following the appearance of Johnny Rotten on BBC1’s Question Time, David Dimbleby has agreed to join a reformed line-up of legendary punk rockers the Sex Pistols. Rotten has always admired...

Prince Charles says The Shard would be better with a thatched roof. 2
Ian 3 years

Prince Charles has slammed The Shard saying "It is a monstrous carbuncle that has little sense of anything other than the possibility it might one day be iconic." "The modern 'up yours'...

Andy Murray just one win away from being English 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years