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Open University lecturers rescued from BBC tunnel

A police operation is underway at Shepherd's Bush today following the discovery of a tunnel connecting BBC1, BBC2 and the other terrestrial channels. It is thought that up to 50 Open University...

1
Not Amused 29.01.13 10:20am
Not Amused
Fears of influx of migrants to Eric Pickles' arse

Tens of thousands of migrants could move to Eric Pickles' arse when temporary curbs on 29 million Romanian and Bulgarian nationals right to live and work up the Communities Secretary's bottom expire...

2
roybland 29.01.13 9:35am
Squudge
82% of Brits Would Vote to Succeed from Reality, Says Poll

A recent poll carried out by MORI for the campaign for Unreal Life has discovered that 82% of British adults would vote to succeed from reality and live in a fantasy world of their own making. The...

10
Quaz 29.01.13 1:26am
Quaz
Government admit HS2 rail may take decades after using a high 'speed dealer' 0
One Line Only 29.01.13 12:24am
One Line Only
List of stations where customers can wait for delayed HS2 trains announced

The government has unveiled details of the next phase of the HS2 high-speed rail network, revealing which stations rail passengers in Northern England will be left waiting at while faster trains than...

9
Vertically Challenged Giant 28.01.13 11:20pm
Squudge
New Motorways Planned for High Speed Replacement Bus Service 0
Titus 28.01.13 11:19pm
Titus
Prince Charles reminds himself to stop skim-reading BBC News headlines 0
DrTurmoil 28.01.13 11:14pm
DrTurmoil
UK Borders Agency accused of black hole in paperwork

The UK Border Agency (UKBA) has today admitted that it has been using the Channel Tunnel as a storage facility for immigrants, after complaints from Eurostar. Some 14,000 applicants, growing at a...

6
Squudge 28.01.13 11:10pm
sponge finger
Korma Chameleon

A Winchester man has complained to no one in particular after being sacked from a local tribute band. Sebastian Poff, a town and planning officer for the local area was dismissed after missing...

1
topfotogmw 28.01.13 10:57pm
Squudge
Taking Cue From National Rifle Association, U.S. Airlines to Arm Passengers

In a move that has shocked many, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration announced last week that they will now be abolishing airport security measures, and instead will arm all passengers...

2
28.01.13 10:51pm
abauer2
Channel Tunnel Replacement Bus Service Encounters Technical Problems 1
Titus 28.01.13 10:46pm
Squudge
Irainian space program hopes to have woman in space by 2525 1
Scronnyglonkle 28.01.13 10:42pm
Squudge
Episodes of Miranda to be shown to Bulgarians to discourage UK migration 3
custard cream 28.01.13 10:36pm
Squudge
Bona fide tradesman denies being gay 1
Ian Searle 28.01.13 10:29pm
medici2471
Greengrocer accused of selling snowman body parts

A gruesome discovery in the stock room of a Lancastrian greengrocer has led to an enquiry into his possession of a sackful of snowman noses...

7
apepper 28.01.13 10:25pm
Squudge
Man killed by falling bookies shop sign.

Bookies say the odds on that happening are "A million to one"...

0
Iscariot 28.01.13 10:08pm
Iscariot
Mayan 70's Disco Band's deadly prophecy comes true

(too hot for newsbiscuit?)...

0
brd888 28.01.13 9:14pm
brd888
Toton station to be renamed Nottingham Parkway...

as Parkway is rail-speak for "nowhere near"...

0
deskpilot3 28.01.13 8:23pm
deskpilot3
Brian Cox to present ‘Wonders of my Hair’ in the spring.

Following the success of ‘Wonders of the Universe’ and ‘Wonders of Life’ the BBC has announced that Professor Brian Cox is to front a new 6 part series entitled ‘The Wonders of My Hair’...

2
TheNewsWalrus 28.01.13 8:21pm
writinginbsl
Scientist confirms Ed Miliband is crystal clear

A scientist offered proof today that Labour leader, Ed Miliband, is as clear as he claims and probably even clearer. Professor Sidney Cataract of COPNIL - the Cambridge Political Neuroscience...

4
28.01.13 8:14pm
writinginbsl
Dutch monarch abdicates to devote more time to juggling pint pots. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 28.01.13 7:37pm
dominic_mcg
Lib Dems successful in sending monkey into cabinet 0
andhrimnir 28.01.13 6:55pm
andhrimnir
“Forget what we told you last year”, says Home Secretary. “Britain is shit”...

After polishing the nation’s image over the last few years, during the lead-up to the 2012 Olympics, the Home Office is now trying to rein in the self-praise in the hope of scaring off the hordes...

0
Tripod 28.01.13 6:31pm
Tripod
I'll do what's best for the country insists Clegg as he hires private hit-man

To take out Cameron...

0
Ian Searle 28.01.13 6:20pm
Ian Searle
IKEA on alert after Iranians launch monkey into space. 0
bonjonelson 28.01.13 6:19pm
bonjonelson
Prince Charles urges Queen to "go Dutch". More soon. 0
Gaz 28.01.13 6:08pm
Gaz
North Korea "sends fried monkey into space". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 28.01.13 5:45pm
Al OPecia
Gordon’s Second-hand Monkey Faeces Emporium issues profit warning

With Britain’s high streets in terminal decline, there are fears that another ‘household name’ is facing financial trouble. With 2,684 outlets across some 35 towns, Gordon’s Second-hand...

5
28.01.13 4:47pm
Paddy Berzinski
Channel Tunnel to be equipped with giant aquarium

Following criticism that there’s nothing for passengers to do during the 35 minute crossing between Folkestone and Calais, Eurotunnel are installing a giant aquarium along each side of the Channel...

0
Midfield Diamond 28.01.13 4:06pm
Midfield Diamond
Abou Zeid: "I never thought Drynuary would be so hard"

It's been a real busy month for me, I've just been in Algeria in a business trip and can't wait to just kick back amongst my 7 wives and just crack open a cold one. But no, because for the past 28...

0
quango 28.01.13 3:48pm
quango