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Outcry as alphabet reordered 'to reflect demands of 21st Century' 21
DrTurmoil 3 years

The Government is to re-order the letters of the alphabet to reflect modern usage, in a plan which has caused outrage among teachers, parents, and men with carefully ordered CD and DVD collections....

Rapture 'will still go ahead' after Listening Exercise, insists God 2
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

God has confirmed that plans for the Rapture and the End Times are still going ahead despite the launch of a Listening Exercise this week to consult on the changes. “We recognise that there are...

Dambusters dog to be renamed Digger for remake of iconic film... 0
DiY 3 years

because N-word might offend Americans. Australians now going to sue Stephen Fry...

Ken Clarke to introduce prisoner Nectar points 7
Ludicity 3 years

Justice Secretary Ken Clarke has announced that plans to reduce prison sentences by up to 50% will be abandoned in favour of a new system of HMP Nectar points. Under the scheme those who...

Prince Philip says he’ll “slow down” at 90, adding “but gradually, unlike Diana” 4
Qoxiivi 3 years

More soon Another possible execution: Prince Philip says he’ll "slow down" at 90, adding; "unlike Henri Paul"...

Wales thanks Giggs for inspiring 'Welsh sex' jokes that don't involve sheep 2
Oxbridge 3 years
Alex Reid denies that Chantelle is his type he prefers Authors like his ex 0
doggone 3 years

Jordan ,the Author...

‘So that’s why they’re called hacks’ says everyone 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Norfolk drought - families asked to share baths rather than beds 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Met Office Warns of Forthcoming Trouble After Arab Spring 0
Deimos 3 years

Today the UK Meteorological Office has warned UK and EU leaders about potential social unrest and rioting across much of Europe. Following the Arab Spring, the impacts of which are still resonating...

Slutwalk gets makeover after Trinny & Susannah ambush 0
DrTurmoil 3 years

"Showing off your tits and legs at the same time in any part of town is a definite no-no," declared the senior fashion police. "They were all asking for it," agreed style judge Gok Wan, "especially...

Satanists back Archbishop and condemn cut in number of virgins 0
FraserWords 3 years

Satanists have roundly condemned the Coalition government as “far too nice” after Chancellor George Osborne announced a 30% cut in virgin numbers., Dr Philip Potterfield, Lord High Arch Mandrake...

Save the Children says more money for immunisation ‘would be a shot in the arm’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
The Wombles to help clear up the festival site after their Glastonbury set 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Prince Philip to enjoy winding-down after a life of winding-up 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Hair surgeon advises Rooney "No Keepie Uppie" 0
Dick Everyman 3 years
Paul McCartney reveals late wife's flatulence in new book 'Wind Behind My Wings' 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Prince Charles' "bucket list" goes viral - only one item on it 6
Willy Eckerslike 3 years
Grumpy Greek bloke celebrates 90th birthday. 0
DiY 3 years
Blair to Milliband: 'Follow my lead, Labour is finished'. 0
be reasonable 3 years
'Pippa's bum would win under AV' claims Clegg 2
John Wiltshire 3 years

The Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg, claimed today that under the Alternative Vote system, Pippa Middleton would have won Rear Of The Year instead of Carol Vorderman. 'To be frank,' he said to an...

Anarcho Syndicalist says "I'd never join a club that would have me as a member" 8
Quaz 3 years

Harpo Marx sets out a dialectic on a car horn in response...

Government to take action against sexualisation of Rowan Williams 1
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

The Government has announced a series of measures designed to prevent the sexualisation of Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, after his outspoken attack on the Coalition agenda....

Madeline McCann speaking on behalf of child brides says on the upside we get a 0
doggone 3 years

pension for many years or a load of goats...

British rail fares far too simple, complain readers of Stress Puzzle Magazine 4
ronseal 3 years
Premiership players spending a record proportion of wages on drink & prostitutes 3
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
'Curse of the Wombles' strikes again as city of Wellington hit by earthquakes 21
rickwestwell 3 years

The so-called "Curse of the Wombles" seems to have struck again, after earthquakes measuring up to magnitude seven rocked the New Zealand city of Wellington, causing widespread damage. This is only...

Bucket list bucket list: 101 bucket lists to skim through before you die 0
Tristan Shout 3 years
Scientists capture anti-matter using Brian Cox's soothing voice 4
3 years

Scientists studying anti-matter in CERN have revealed how they have captured the illusive subtance - using the lullaby-voiced Brian Cox. The team of experts, who had a string of hits in the early...

Tony Blair and Gordon Brown helped advanced medical science 2
doggone 3 years

by becoming being the first successful arse transplant duo.In the end although the arse was rejected Tony thought it was a success because it got Gordon to shut the fuck up...