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Naturewatch: First cuckoo of Spring found frozen to death 3
custard cream 18.03.13 3:56pm
Child's reward for swearing is new woollen sweater 1
AReader 18.03.13 2:45pm
Concerns heightened over increases in Aldtimer’s Disease

With the increasing proportion of elderly in society health advisors have increasingly raised concerns over “Aldtimers” disease. This little-recognised illness, previously known as...

hero2zero 18.03.13 12:12pm
Sports fan mildly disappointed after loss

After seeing his team suffer a massive defeat, a sports fan has expressed annoyance but managed to go through the rest of the day without incident. While other fans waited outside the players...

Hooch 18.03.13 11:56am
Clapton voted No. 1 guitarist after 2 hour set without dropping plectrum in hole 1
Smart Alex 18.03.13 11:48am
Charlie “Pi” Pitcher Sets Transatlantic Rowing Record, Credits Tiger British adventurer Charlie “Pi” Pitcher arrived in Barbados Friday after rowing solo across a 2,900 mile span of the...

Kurt Degerstrom 18.03.13 11:36am
Kurt Degerstrom
Cyprus Tells Bank Customers: "Just hand over the money and no-one get hurt, OK?" 0
Titus 18.03.13 10:08am
Snow complains about pissy attitude in Oxfordshire

'You moaning cunts' said one snowflake, who risked life and icy sticky-out bit during his journey to Abingdon. 'Kids up north fucking love us to bits. But down here? It's all 'why haven't they...

Truebiscuit 18.03.13 9:53am
Pope Francis I: We need to put the sexy back into Catholicism

[We need to put sexy back into Catholicism. This place is a dong factory.] said Pope Francis I in the wake of inheriting a Church in chaos. As abuse scandals, contraception, and logic rock the...

A.J. DiCosimo 18.03.13 9:53am
A.J. DiCosimo
"BBC To Leave Television" - congratulations on brilliant story today! 1
Titus 18.03.13 9:33am
Albino-killer vexed by Old Bailey sketches

Following his murder trial at the Old Bailey, serial killer, Charles ‘Chalky’ White was reported to be ‘extremely vexed' with the courtroom sketches which regularly appeared in the media....

Dick Everyman 18.03.13 9:26am
Dick Everyman
Amateur Spanish Dance Troupe Penalised For Employing Pro Castanet Player

Neat-O candidate...

Titus 18.03.13 9:23am
Pope Francis Dumps His Spectacles As New Corporate Sponsorship Negotiations Fail

Titus 18.03.13 2:16am
New iPhone X-ray Specs App Disappoints 0
Hooch 18.03.13 1:01am
Catch the Comedians

In what was originally thought to be a stunt for Comic Relief, stewards and security staff were caught offside at Goodison Park on Saturday when several comedians dressed in Manchester City kit...

irreverendJ 17.03.13 10:40pm
Cypriot levy

Is it because we drive on the left?...

Iscariot 17.03.13 10:12pm
Cypriot Government To Nationalise Bank Ripoffs

Rather than bank customers having their money stolen in a random, haphazard way by individual banks, the Cypriot government now plan to carry out this theft more thoroughly and sytematically on an...

Titus 17.03.13 9:57pm
Bird-Brained Captain

The Captain of the Danio has now admitted he was only trying to treat his crew to a sight of the Farne Islands Puffins., A very angry spokesman for the RSPB was reported as saying the captain was...

Big Ben 17.03.13 9:54pm
Pinterest and LinkedIn merge to form new company called Pink Linen 0
custard cream 17.03.13 9:14pm
custard cream
Brian Cox admits he has sneezed bigger comets

. (Panstarrs disappointment)...

Squudge 17.03.13 8:51pm
Cypriot government "Only trying to help the people"

A spokesman explained their actions to us. "Look, normally we tax everyone as they earn and again as they spend - leaving them with very little: just like UK., Now we tax as they earn and then rob...

Flash! Aa-aaaa! 17.03.13 8:40pm
Flash! Aa-aaaa!
Cruising is back for the elderly

For many years Fly/Cruise holidays and exotic destinations tempted younger clients but while they are now not so keen, many very old people are rediscovering the experience. So called "Pee and Oh!"...

Flash! Aa-aaaa! 17.03.13 8:32pm
Flash! Aa-aaaa!
Infallibility ‘more of a curse than a blessing’, says Pope...

'The doctrine of papal infallibility is hard to swallow', admitted Pope Francis, in his first published interview since the smoke turned white above the Sistine Chapel. 'When I was plain old Jorge,...

Tripod 17.03.13 8:11pm
Pope Francis' first speech

We have just had Pope Francis' first speech translated from Latin into English 'Hello, it's me, Francis! No, don't laugh, madam - oh all right, please yourself! And with a husband like that, I'm not...

John Wiltshire 17.03.13 7:54pm
Tea Party welcomes alliance with Sarkozy to form Tea Sarkozy 6
nickb 17.03.13 7:53pm
Drug resistance on the up!

The Chief Medical Officer expressed concerns over the increased drug-resistance of laughter and giggling. Recreational drugs are just losing the ability to reduce users to stumbling, giggling and...

hero2zero 17.03.13 7:50pm
Massive earthquake in Pakistan causes millions of pounds worth of improvement 15
Scoby Watson 17.03.13 7:49pm
London potholes filled in on marathon course with tar for the course 0
godly1966 17.03.13 7:49pm
New Papacy “to be modelled on the career of Frankie Howerd”.

“Francis, that’s what I want you to call me. No. Oooh. Yes. Mmmm. Well!” Some members of the Sunday throng of worshippers in St Peter’s Square confessed to being “confused” by the...

nickb 17.03.13 7:12pm
Chef stripped of celebrity after admitting any old frying pan okay for omlettes

More soon (nod to ongoing topic in chat room)...

Nowherefast 17.03.13 3:40pm