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Gelatinous Blobfish Psychrolutes Marcidus Sues After Being Named World's Ugliest

"It's bad enough looking like that" said counsel for the fish in court today "without people pointing and shuddering. My client has been forced to leave his home and friends, and seek refuge several...

0
Titus 12.09.13 6:02pm
Titus
Surprise As Mirror Accused Of Phone Hacking - 'Didn't Know They Still Printed It 0
Titus 12.09.13 5:25pm
Titus
Welsh Church to vote on sheep bishops. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 12.09.13 4:57pm
dominic_mcg
Fears Prince William Military Exit will see him Drunk, Homeless by 2015

Prince Williams plans to leave the British Military has sparked fresh concerns that he could be living on the streets within 2 years. Anxious colleagues believe that the prince lacks the strong...

0
thisisall1word 12.09.13 4:43pm
thisisall1word
God confirms that only atheists will go to heaven

In a move likely to cause some consternation amongst the World's religions, God has announced that only atheists will get to enjoy the eternal joy, and slight irritation at being proved wrong, of...

2
apepper 12.09.13 4:35pm
Gålgö13
Assad not afraid of airstrikes. 'We've had time to hide everything now'. 0
MADJEZ 12.09.13 4:31pm
MADJEZ
Atheists reassure the pope that he can go to hell 3
Backup Brian 12.09.13 4:30pm
Titus
Breakdancing crematorium flashmob fails to become viral internet meme.

Village vicar The Revd Pete Fraser is said to be devastated that his latest ‘viral’ video has failed to set the world of social media alight. The four minute clip was secretly filmed at the...

0
Skylarking 12.09.13 4:29pm
Skylarking
Gender equality at last as Bishops allow women into Wales 0
irreverendJ 12.09.13 4:27pm
irreverendJ
Allah laughs as 3000 Korans burnt on 911. I still get a $2 royalty per copy. 2
MADJEZ 12.09.13 4:23pm
MADJEZ
Rowling To Pen Rip/Spin Off Film

At this stage it is not known if the new film will be a spin off of Harry Potter, or the work of Tolkien. Rumours are that Rowling was last seen in a library furiously reading the complete works of...

0
Flugelbinder 12.09.13 3:37pm
Flugelbinder
PC Damages Foot Dropping Kerb Fall Compensation Claim 0
Flugelbinder 12.09.13 2:52pm
Flugelbinder
76% of statistics are made up on the spot, survey reveals. 0
Sfox 12.09.13 2:32pm
Sfox
Involvement in large-scale drug ring sees Postman Pat facing 'lengthly sentence'

69-year-old Pat Clifton, known affectionately by millions as Postman Pat, is due to be sentenced next week for his role in one of the largest prescription drug trafficking operations in England,...

1
Jesus H 12.09.13 2:25pm
Jesus H
Prince Charles tested for irony deficiency after remarks on plight of unemployed 0
sydalg 12.09.13 1:53pm
sydalg
Leaked email: what privatisation will mean for your postal service...

First class post will arrive next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.* Second class post will be held back for a few days - just to let customers know what ‘second class’ actually...

0
Tripod 12.09.13 12:45pm
Tripod
U.S. SICK OF BRATTY SYRIA, LEAVES HIM AT FROYO SHOP W/ RUSSIA

You think picking him up every-other weekend, buying him FroYo and those stupid Skylander figures makes you a good parent? It's convenient for you, making ME the bad guy all the time. But who deals...

10
Dustybottoms 12.09.13 12:32pm
custard cream
Long queue already forming to buy Royal Mail shares 2
Duncan Biscuit 12.09.13 11:58am
Boutros
Post Man who dumped mail off bridge told boss it was all part of the floatation 0
Scronnyglonkle 12.09.13 11:53am
Scronnyglonkle
Pagans and Druids issue official apology for Stonehenge

Britain’s Pagan and Neo-Druidic communities have issued a joint statement, finally apologising for the 'unspeakable suffering and inconvenience' caused by the building of Stonehenge in the second...

15
Skylarking 12.09.13 11:32am
beau-jolly
Fans eagerly await 'Pundits Moaning About Mercury Prize Shortlist' shortlist

Fans of cliched, bored and miserable journalism are preparing themselves for the announcement of the 'Pundits Moaning About Mercury Music Prize Shortlist' shortlist. Compiled every year the...

1
andrewl81 12.09.13 11:26am
andrewl81
New plastic iphone "can print plastic fivers"

The new plastic Iphone will have the capacity to print the new plastic five pound note, according to a joint annoucment by the Royal Mint and Apple. It will be the first time a smartphone can double...

5
nickb 12.09.13 10:06am
nickb
First iPhone 5S mugging reported: ‘He chopped off my finger and took my phone’. 0
Tripod 12.09.13 9:45am
Tripod
'Come out, come out, whatever you are' Obama urges Putin

There was stunned silence at the Whitehouse press conference today as Barrack Obama took to the lectern, brandishing what he believed to be, Vladimir Putin's most secret weapon, an 18' inflatable...

0
Robopop 12.09.13 9:32am
Robopop
Dangerous weapons discovered at London Arms Fair

Organisers of the London Arms Fair were shocked to discover that there were weapons on sale which could hurt people. A spokesman for the organisers, Ian McCullough, said: 'Walking round the stands...

0
John Wiltshire 12.09.13 9:08am
John Wiltshire
The very grateful unemployed

The long term unemployed are so grateful to this Government for so reducing benefits that having a part time, minimum wage, zero hours contract job has become a position to aspire to., Ian Dunk...

0
pjc 12.09.13 7:29am
pjc
Queen required to pay bedroom tax

The Queen's a bit miffed because in compliance with Dave's " were all in it together " she is about to have her rather mingy allowance reduced in relation to the 52 family bedrooms at Buck Palice....

0
pjc 12.09.13 6:47am
pjc
New iPhone tattoos fact you have an iPhone on inside of other peoples eyelids.

Just in case they hadn't got the message., This post uploaded by iPhone yes I have an iPhone did you not know I have an iPhone, oh it's the best you really should get one...

0
MADJEZ 12.09.13 5:17am
MADJEZ
Kitchen Aid launch range of decorative appliances designed to be never used 0
Dumbnews 12.09.13 4:23am
Dumbnews
O-yez, there is more information on these stories on the church noticeboard

And you can contact the Town Crier by semaphore, carrier pigeon or giving a note to a passing stage coach...

0
Ian Searle 12.09.13 4:17am
Ian Searle