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Texas looking forward to first solar-powered execution

The sunny Lone Star State is about to enter a new era of environmentally friendly retribution, thanks to the pioneering efforts of Fred Maynard, the Governor of Ellsborough State Prison near San...

2
sydalg 06.06.13 6:38am
pere floza
Arson 'not representative of our peaceful ideology' says EDL community leader

More parallels soon...

0
pere floza 06.06.13 6:30am
pere floza
Oscar Pistorius shoots his grannie changing lightbulb

Oscar Pistorius was yesterday apologizing again, after he mistakenly shot his grandmother as he reached up to change a light-bulb in her living room. Oscar’s grannie was shot six times in her...

1
suki 06.06.13 5:09am
Arthur
God gives Moses tablet with new Commandments app

Israel is abuzz with news of the latest gadget, which its Maker claims is programmed with a complete guide to the new moral code. “It's got the state-of-the-art decimal system of Commandments”,...

1
sydalg 06.06.13 4:36am
Arthur
Shepherding for Dummies

Shepherding for Dummies to be published next month. You herd it here first...

0
drtrade 06.06.13 4:06am
drtrade
Public warned about bogus lollipop men.

The police are warning the public to be on the lookout for a growing number of bogus, unqualified lollipop men operating across Britain. Their numbers have risen sharply over the past eighteen months...

4
sredni vashta 06.06.13 3:34am
Arthur
FA launch daily England kit

In time for Friday night at the pub, the FA today launched England’s newest football kit. Modeled by John Terry in the ‘Dog and Duck’, Plaistow, the kit contained classic elements of last...

0
suki 06.06.13 3:12am
suki
Breaking News: Jihadists Friday Prayer BBQ catastrophe at Muswell Hill Mosque 0
06.06.13 12:43am
Dictator's distorted vision of reality to be fixed with Google Glass 1
Dumbnews 05.06.13 11:59pm
sredni vashta
Joe Walsh fined for spending too much time in the fast lane 3
Smart Alex 05.06.13 11:53pm
Scronnyglonkle
Britain's toilet seat makers celebrate yet another germ comparison study triumph

Britain's toilet seat makers were cock a hoop last night after 'cleaning up' in yet another bacteria benchmark. In the last year, toilet seats have been pitched against train seats, make up bags...

2
ronseal 05.06.13 9:54pm
ronseal
German "plus-size" economy splits feminists

A recent ad campaign to promote the EU has caused much consternation in the female community. Rather than using the gaunt, deficit-ridden image of a bronzed, southern European nation, marketing...

0
Wrenfoe 05.06.13 7:35pm
Wrenfoe
Rebel Tory backbenchers reveal plans to stop Ministers hogging the middle ground 1
Scronnyglonkle 05.06.13 7:26pm
nickb
Kamprad Jnr given seat on the board, if he can assemble it. 0
Maverick 05.06.13 6:35pm
Maverick
17% of children "just fucking stupid"

Almost one in five children in today's schools are just plain fucking stupid, according to a new report released this morning by The Department of Education. The report was issued by the Department...

14
jamsieoconnor 05.06.13 6:22pm
Wrenfoe
I haven't made a decent movie since Steamboat Willie, admits Mickey Mouse

Mickey Mouse has given his most controversial interview ever - and he's pulling no punches as he lays into everyone from method actors to Mickey Rourke. He even puts the boot into Goofy, who he...

2
ronseal 05.06.13 6:09pm
Wrenfoe
Thought-guided government yet to take off. 0
Sir Lupus 05.06.13 6:09pm
Sir Lupus
Katrina and the Waves "may also be particles", claim physicists. 2
bonjonelson 05.06.13 6:08pm
Wrenfoe
Angling bait to be sold online 0
Smart Alex 05.06.13 5:39pm
Smart Alex
RSPB concerned as Toilet Duck is put on endangered species list. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 05.06.13 5:37pm
Smart Alex
Police to fine people who listen to The Middle Of The Road by The Pretenders 3
Ian Searle 05.06.13 4:52pm
Ian Searle
Ryanair customer wins on-flight lottery - get's return flight on Thomson. 1
raudus 05.06.13 4:50pm
bonjonelson
Isle of Man re-designs flag in denial of Rolf Harris connection

The Manx government has taken steps to distance itself from any connection with Rolf Harris in the light of the Australian entertainer’s recent arrest. The singer is thought to have been inspired...

0
Dick Everyman 05.06.13 4:25pm
Dick Everyman
Faulty Brian Scanner reveals three Trevors, two Kevins and a Colin 3
Dick Everyman 05.06.13 4:07pm
Lindy Moone
Millions face cancer risk from passive cunnilingus

In the wake of Michael Douglas's throat cancer revelations, medical experts are warning people to beware of the environmental risks of being in the vicinity of a mouth-to-vagina sex act, with some...

3
sydalg 05.06.13 3:17pm
Dick Everyman
In-laws revealed to be number 1 cause of outlaws. 7
Lindy Moone 05.06.13 3:14pm
Dick Everyman
Dyslexic regrets hiring inferior decorator.

Inspired by brianflan's sub...

7
sredni vashta 05.06.13 2:41pm
sredni vashta
Arial Black wrongly named Arial Narrow: Vicar used the wrong font.

Hat tip to Bertrand...

3
weematt 05.06.13 2:06pm
Titus
Michael Douglas misquoted; actually said, "I've got my cancer licked."

Must have been done before, surely?...

1
FOAD 05.06.13 2:02pm
Titus
Ryanair Delivers 'Surcharge with a Smile' Initiative

The age-old saying ‘manners cost nothing,’ now seem to be a thing of the past as Ryanair has introduced a surcharge for courtesy. Mark Pye, Public Relations Executive said. “In today’s fast...

2
brianflan 05.06.13 1:59pm
John Wiltshire