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Colin Myler: "Hacking was easy. Just need two Pot Noodle cups and bit of string" 0
JJH88 3 years
Breivik: "I played COD for assault training, GTA in case of incarceration..." 0
JJH88 3 years

Avid gamer and part time mass murderer Anders Breivik confirmed he is "fully prepared" for his sentence after his extensive video game training. The potato headed extremist claims he played Grand...

All Aviva's sacked workforce to claim on their Aviva PPI 0
Tomfinger 3 years
Bullingdon Club to disrupt London Marathon in protest at common people in sport 2
Ian Searle 3 years

They plan to steal policemen's helmets, let off fire extinguishers and de-bag oiks. “Bonkers” Johnson will use his stockpile of traffic cones, collected over the last three years, to cause...

Humiliated Prince admits hit single 1999 is now dated 0
yens123 3 years

Pop giant Prince, whose real name is Oblong Wallis, has revealed that even he laughs himself to tears over the fact that his massive hit 1999 is now referring to a date that has already happened. In...

Bahrain GP bosses breathe sigh of relief as Trenton Oldfield scraps protest 0
Yikes 3 years

Boat protester Trenton Oldfield admitted his hopes of disrupting the Bahrain Grand Prix are in tatters after failing to secure a reasonably priced airfare on Mr Oldfield said: “It...

A Lorry carrying Frozen Peas crashes on M1 13
GillsImp 3 years

Another driver following close behind claims to have had a Birds Eye view...

Bahrain Grand Prix looks like being Shiite 0
Yikes 3 years
Popstar Kelis suffers milkshake slump 6
clicktingstampz 3 years

THE percentage of boys brought to the yard by American popstar Kelis' milkshake has fallen for a ninth straight year., According to today's Financial Times, just 37% of all boys were drawn to the...

Ah stuff it, it wasn't that funny 2
Skylarking 3 years
Calls for Silverstone Grand Prix to be cancelled after recent UK riots. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Warsaw exorcist accused of moving the Pole ghosts 2
nickb 3 years
Press frenzy as Pippa pistol-whips reporter with butt. 0
pinxit 3 years
Governmet orders urgent recall of all Ralph Fienne autographs 0
bananaman 3 years

The Government was on high alert yesterday after news broke that not all Ralph Fienne autographs may be authentic. The tip off came when actor Liam Neeson admitted people often mistake him for fellow...

100% of 15 Year Old Boys Have Had Sex 0
Hooch 3 years

A new government report to be published this afternoon has revealed that every 15 year old boy has had sex. The leader of the report, Lord Hanson said, ‘Most have had intercourse numerous times and...

BA: Bird strike forces Dagenham Ford factory to close. 0
woodymellor 3 years
George Osborne refuses to Gift Aid £10bn loan to the IMF 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Ambassador wives plea to Asma Assad: 'Stop outbidding us on ebay for Prada bags' 2
Skylarking 3 years
Family season ticket threat leads Norwich City FC to apologise to teenager 2
Not Amused 3 years

Norwich City FC withdrew their complaint against a teenager accused of hacking their website after his family threatened not to renew their season tickets., After checking the address on their fan...

Man Studying For a Masters Degree in Lancashire Finally Gets Aclaim 0
GillsImp 3 years

At the award the award ceremony he commented "I'm Morecambe and Wise"...

Ched Evans finally gets the gaol he was due 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Modest Abu Hamza insists: “Learning to play jazz sax required a lot of practice" 0
JJH88 3 years Sensational hook-handed saxophonist, Abu Hamza al-Masri gave his UK farewell performance last night, rounding off his sell-out...

Darth Vader admits bring your son to work day a "failure" 0
apepper 3 years

High ranking imperial official, Mr D. Vader has conceded that the recent bring your son to work day had unexpected side effects. "If I'd known he was going to attempt to kill my boss, I'd have...

Ecclestone: Kabul violence nothing to do with F1 0
Old Hat 3 years
Qatada to release range of his and hers fragrances 1
BAJDixon 3 years

The Home Secretary’s reputation took another battering today as it emerged fundamentalist bile-preacher Abu Qatada is to release a range of his and hers fragrances to the British market, developed...

May/Steve Miller release: 'Abu-Abu-Qatada, I want reach out and grab ya' 3
weematt 3 years

(To a tune not unlike Steve Miller's Abra-Abra-Cadabra) I mess up, I can't get it right, I find myself with quite a plight, This extradition is quite unreal, You've just made another appeal...

Scientists create artificial DNA; "royalty payments due from all living things" 0
apepper 3 years

The scientists that have created artificial DNA have claimed that royalty payments will be due from "any person, animal or plant making use of DNA for evolutionary purposes."...

Bahrain Grand Prix to go ahead, bar rain. 0
Haywood Manley 3 years
Iran getting picked-on in nuclear arms race 0
Old Hat 3 years

Iran’s mum has today issued a formal complaint to headmaster, Ban Ki-moon, over allegations that her son is being continually picked-on in nuclear arms races. Nuclear arms racing has been a...

Defendant sworn in on 'Politics for Dummies' in Aberdeen council case 2
cinquecento 3 years