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Parents “to take children to England to hit them” if Welsh smacking ban succeeds 2
nickb 3 years

As the likelihood that child-smacking will be outlawed in the Principality grows, property prices along the Wales/England border are set to show a healthy rise. Theoretically, say estate agents and...

Now sperm donors won't come for less than £750. 8
Boutros 3 years

As out of pocket expenses for egg donors is set to triple, potential sperm donors are threatening to hold back unless they receive similar compensation for their time and trouble. "750 quid would...

ITV to rebrand Dale Farm to simply 'Dale' 3
Perks 3 years
Fox 'misread' Werritty's advances 2
Perks 3 years

Dr Liam Fox MP has today told an inquiry into his conduct that he 'misread Werritty's advances'. 'Dr Fox would still be the Defence Secretary if he had just stayed for one more drink in the...

Cameron laughs off Harman's Curse 2
Drylaw 3 years

"Well this is one PMQs I won't forget," laughed PM David Cameron today following an extraordinary outburst by Deputy Labour leader Harriet Harman from across the Commons floor. "I curse ye five...

'See you in Waitrose' warn coffin-dodgers 5
Gerontius 3 years

A pensioner who was criticised for holding up the queue at his local Waitrose has admitted he and his friends only do it to ‘wind up those precious young fuck-wits who still have a crappy job to go...

Dr. Phil publishes new research on the positive effects of raising one's chin 0
Dumbnews 3 years
ASDA solve the pensioners-queuing-at-peak-times-for-no-reason problem 15
gaijintendo 3 years

with a "Ten Years Left or Fewer" aisle...

British Gas pledge to kill fewer than 3000 old people this winter 3
roybland 3 years
Men urged to carry new 'sperm donor' cards to increase dwindling supply 9
Screenie 3 years

It is the perfect example of the circle of life,' explained baby-gravy expert John Withers, 'there is always some 'left in the sac' when a man passes away, it's not like the gentleman in question is...

Amnesty probes British public school "mortar boarding" 5
apepper 3 years

Human rights watchdogs have been investigating punishments at well known British public schools and have highlighted "Mortar Boarding" - where teachers dressed from the 1930s intimidate children...

Anne Robinson sues British Museum for revealing true age 6
apepper 3 years

TV presenter Anne Robinson has sued the British Museum for revealing her true age. Ms Robinson donated some her "leftover" parts following plastic surgery in 2008 and, after carbon dating, an...

New Transport Minister's 12 point turn in Commons car park caught on video 0
Drylaw 3 years
Chadderton twinned with Sydney 0
Screenie 3 years
Pregnant wife in 'giving birth to girl' shock 0
Screenie 3 years
Wallabies refuse to recognise kangaroo court 0
nickb 3 years
Pooh Bear fails to shit in the woods. 2
nickb 3 years
Dale Farm residents to have language skills tests before they speak to media 5
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Apple community in shock after first Siri suicide 0
roybland 3 years

Thousands of Apple fans across the world are in shock today following reports of the first iPhone Siri suicide.,  , Siri, Apple's artificial intelligence 'personal assistant' and the main feature...

Sperm banks finding things hard 1
apepper 3 years

Difficult times are hitting sperm donations...

Essex Council breaking up a 'clothes peg community' say Dale Farm travellers 0
roybland 3 years
Westlife are to split, Jan Moir devastated 0
Perks 3 years
Shock Decision to Cancel HS2 - 23 minute saving is "bugger all" 13
GreenCross 3 years

The incoming Secretary of State for Transport, Justine Greening, has announced a shock decision to cancel the High Speed 2 rail project which would have linked London and Birmingham. Speaking from...

Ardnamurchan Viking boat burial discovery 'pointless' 2
brd888 3 years

A Viking representative said yesterday "We didn't bury the poor guy so some tweed dressed perennial students could dig him up and stick him in a museum. How would they like it if we dug up his granny...

Dale Farm residents could have tarmacked driveways 'within 45 minutes' 2
GreenCross 3 years

The leader of Basildon Council, Cllr Tony Ball, has justified sending in riot police by making the shocking claim that, if provoked, travellers at Dale Farm could tarmac driveways locally 'within 45...

Dale Farm protestors torch caravan - bailiffs and police say "thanks, job done" 0
Izziere 3 years
Sperm bank robbery "all over very quickly" say onlookers 0
nickb 3 years

inspired by Boutros...

Andrex shares plummet as Dail Mail uses softer paper. 0
DiY 3 years
Bottom falls out of bidet market 1
witless 3 years

no more to follow...

Recession latest: Cocaine dealers say "Crack Down" 0
brd888 3 years