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Sponsors for new bravery awards sought

TV chiefs are today searching for new sponsors for “The Burglar and Thug National Bravery Awards,” ceremony to be held in November 2012, Original sponsors, HMP Adventure Holidays and Cops Catch...

hero2zero 06.09.12 4:22pm
Nails UK
Proportion of private patients among GB Paralympic Team ‘too high’ says report

There was further criticism of the NHS last night when a study revealed that more than a third of the British Paralympic team had had their various medical conditions treated in private clinics; such...

Midfield Diamond 06.09.12 4:20pm
Spain A Turn Off For Old Hippies ....

"A bit too square, man."...

Jesse Bigg 09.09.12 8:41am
In Your Face Newspapers A Big Hit ......

On Japanese commuter trains...

Jesse Bigg 09.09.12 8:42am
Millionaires' Row, Chelsea, Straight In There To Build A Second Conservatory....

.Would you believe?, "Gee, second conservatories could do wonders for Britain, don't you know."...

Jesse Bigg 06.09.12 1:52pm
Jesse Bigg
Grayling to “bring back hanging for gays and unemployed; pardon all bankers and

Grayling to “bring back hanging for gays and unemployed; pardon all bankers and phone hackers” An unemployed gay couple living in a Bed and Breakfast are to sue Justice Minister Chris Gayling...

Reg Herring 06.09.12 1:23pm
Reg Herring
Extensions to terms of office up to 8 years will be allowed without elections

House of Commons extensions of up to 8 years will be allowed without elections, were unveiled today by the Coalition government. More soon...

simonjmr 06.09.12 1:19pm
New squatting laws could be used to remove the coalition government 0
simonjmr 06.09.12 1:15pm
Nick Clegg to address empty Auditorium for Lib Dem conference

The Lib Dem's today have announced that Nick Clegg will emulate his action movie hero at this years Lib Dem conference and address and empty auditorium "Apparently Clint Eastwood had an argument...

simonjmr 07.09.12 8:19am
Pyramids Were a Bodge Job, Say Archaeologists

Newly translated clay tablets found in Egypt seem to suggest that, far from being a wonder of the world, the Great Pyramid in Egypt was plagued by bad design decisions and cowboy builders. The...

Quaz 07.09.12 10:16pm
The All New Jeni B
Guardian Ethical Dilemma Over Whether To Call Disabled Burglars "Brave" 0
thisisall1word 06.09.12 12:50pm
Burglar commends bravery of judges

Serial offender and drug addict Jo Nutjob stunned court attendees when he praised the "courage shown by judges" in sentencing plebs on a daily basis. After receiving his fourteenth community service...

gregle 07.09.12 2:16pm
Deaf, dumb and blind kid wins pinball gold for GB 6
Actual Size 07.09.12 9:11am
Planning restrictions be relaxed: airports can be added to back gardens

The government wants to get planning officers "off people's backs" with a relaxation of current rules in England. For a limited period, people will be allowed to build larger extensions on houses...

steve_l 06.09.12 10:14am
Deja vu as Romain Grosjean crashes the pace car at the first corner

Holy crap that guy is a maniac

JohnA 07.09.12 3:42pm
Salmon of Knowledge
Steaming Dog Turd slips eight places

A recent poll carried out by Ipsos MORI has shown that the common dog turd is no longer the number one ‘most unwelcome thing to find in your swimming pool’ losing the top spot to Education...

Gerontius 12.09.12 10:58am
Ugly surgeon unable to remove patients eye sore 0
Dumbnews 05.09.12 10:29pm
Tomtom blamed as Genome map leads to deadend 0
kjo36 05.09.12 10:09pm
Embarrassment at NASA as Marianne Faithful's Mars curiosity pictures published 1
charlies_hat 05.09.12 7:22pm
Je Margarette Rien
Edward Milliband butches up with removal of vagina

Edward Milliband has taken heart of David Camerons’ criticque of his butchness and has asked some doctors to look into his vagina. By removing it he hopes to become a sweating, butch serious...

Je Margarette Rien 06.09.12 10:46am
Zanardi denies use of KERS

and also claims amputation does not qualify as DRS...

kjo36 05.09.12 4:14pm
Dyslexic Yorkshireman accidentally buys a cat flap 11
Smart Alex 07.09.12 1:33pm
Clegg promoted to new post of 'Minister for everything that's really shit'

Former deputy prime minister has spoken of his delight by being promoted by David Cameron into the new position of 'Minister for everthing that's really shit.' 'When David first told me of the move...

antharrison 05.09.12 7:31pm
Latest advice for people drowning: 'keep your feet up and drink plenty of water' 0
05.09.12 1:22pm
Scunthorpe squirrel vows to finish the job properly next time. 2
Queen of Tarts 06.09.12 4:56am
Queen of Tarts
Leo Tolstoy's Grave Overturned

Whilst distinguished actress, Keira Knighley, was celebrating last night's London film premier of Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, Russian news agencies reported a mysterious seismic convulsion at the burial...

05.09.12 12:07pm
Salmon of Knowledge
93% Of British Workers Fear Being Laid Off

The other 7% say it would be like winning the National Lottery...

Martin Shuttlecock 05.09.12 3:16am
Martin Shuttlecock
"Recession Not Down To Fat Idle Lazy Bastards"

Claims Fat Idle Lazy Bastards Society spokesman...

Martin Shuttlecock 05.09.12 3:13am
Martin Shuttlecock
Maria Miller.... oh WTF' say leading spoof news writers 0
Scroat 04.09.12 11:02pm
Jeremy Cunt moves to Health to avoid burther floopers 0
Scroat 04.09.12 11:00pm